Abel to Yzerman
by VooX on 04/27/10 at 08:12 PM ET
A couple of my recent posts have upset some people.
A few days ago I upset a lot of hockey writers about their Norris nominations. That is acceptable.
Today I upset Mike and Marian. That is unacceptable. I suggested that a long-deserved vacation would be the silver lining to losing tonight. Like Mike and Marian, many of the 19 found this upsetting and unthinkable. There are no other options. Winning is the only option.
Mike and Marian sent us a special friend. He is here to tell us the truth and straighten the team out.
His name? Fuch you. That’s his name. Pay attention, bitches, he’s only here as a special favour to Mike and Marian:
Let’s talk about something important.
Put. That. Cup. Down.
The Cup is for Closers only.
You think I’m fuching with you? I am not fuching with you.
Have I got your attention now?
You got the lead this series. The lead was good.
You can’t close the lead, you can’t close shit, you are shit, hit the bricks pal, and beat it, ‘cause you are going out. You can’t play in a man’s game? You can’t close them? Then go home and tell your wife your troubles, because Red Wings fans don’t give a shit anymore.
Only one thing counts in this life: Play 60 minutes. Get the W. Close the Series.
Always. Be. Closing.
The Winnpeg Jets are sitting there, waiting to give you a victory. Are you going to take it? Are you man enough to take it?
You want to play here? CLOSE. You think this is abuse? If you don’t like it, LEAVE.
Get MAD you son of a bitches, GET MAD. Do you know what it takes to win the Stanley Cup? It takes brass balls to win the Stanley Cup.
The Stanley Cup is for Closers.
I’d wish you good luck, but you wouldn’t know what to do with it if you got it.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com