Abel to Yzerman
The 4th Annual “Pierre McGuire is a Douche Canoe” Contest
by VooX on 04/13/11 at 02:29 PM ET
Comments (98)
The days are getting longer and warmer. The fridge is fully stocked with booze and hunks of meat waiting to be grilled. You have stocked up on antacid. Your favourite hockey jersey hasn’t been washed since last summer and can stand up by itself.
It’s the hockey playoffs. You are ready, but something is still missing. Things feel… incomplete.
Worry not, because A2Y has your solution:
The 4th Annual “Pierre McGuire is a Douche Canoe” Contest
That’s right, the annual contest which actually brings some joy to Pierre McGuire appearing on your TV broadcast, if only to anticipate his utter humiliation. The game is non-partisan. All you have to have is a deep, loathing hatred of Pierre McGuire and the desire to want him humiliated on national TV.
The prize? Highly coveted. The rules? Simple.
Please spread the word about The 4th Annual “Pierre McGuire is a Douche Canoe” Contest, this year we hope to award a winner who will be forever immortalized as a hero to the hockey world.
THE PRIZE: Two tickets to a regular season Leafs game of your choice in Toronto at the Air Canada Center during the 2011-2012 season. (regular season game against the Red Wings excluded/playoff games not applicable in Toronto)
OFFICIAL RULES:
Make a sign which says, “Pierre McGuire is a Douche Canoe”. Go to an NHL playoff game. Get your “Pierre McGuire is a Douche Canoe” sign behind Pierre Mcguire’s head on TV at some point during the broadcast. Collect your prize and praise, bask in your victory.
That’s how easy it is. Get the sign behind that giant, bulbous head and win.
In order to ensure the correct hockey hero gets their prize, I highly recommend using the official contest email to notify me in advance of your attempt (be specific about which game and what your sign looks like). All attempts will be kept confidential. Good luck.
Official contest email:
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Remember you don’t have to attempt to win the contest to help us out. Spread the word to as many people as you can about the contest, we need a winner this year.
Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
Comments
Pierre drives me crazy sometimes on tv, but this is really low. Hopefully Paul has some sort of rules against this. Seriously Voox?
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 02:33 PM ET
4th annual. This isn’t our first rodeo. I remember watching last year and knowing there was a non-zero chance of seeing that sign made seeing Pierre on screen much more tolerable. It’s a win/win.
And Voox - keep on keeping on!
Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 04/13/11 at 02:38 PM ET
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 12:33 PM ET
“The game is non-partisan”
I’m guessing that using the term “sometimes” to describe how ridiculous Pierre McGuire’s presence is during any NHL game likely disqualifies you from participating anyway 
Can anybody tell me how Pierre got this job to begin with? Since the lockout he seems to show up everywhere. Game viewing was much better when he was a scout with Pittsburgh.
Posted by Leo_Racicot on 04/13/11 at 02:39 PM ET
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 12:33 PM ET
This is not the first year this contest has been posted here. I think if Paul had a problem, he would have brought it up during a prior year.
And it’s not low, it’s hilarious.
Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/13/11 at 02:39 PM ET
Priceless - - absolutely priceless.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/13/11 at 02:41 PM ET
Pierre drives me crazy sometimes on tv, but this is really low. Hopefully Paul has some sort of rules against this. Seriously Voox?
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 12:33 PM ET
Uh oh. You’ve given this white knight the vapors. Hopefully he’s got a fainting couch nearby.
Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 04/13/11 at 02:42 PM ET
I agree, this is just wrong…it’s uncalled for and completely immature.
In other words, it’s why I’m here. VooX, may your days be filled with hookers and puppies and firetucks.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/13/11 at 02:47 PM ET
Someone is going to actually win this sometime. Year 4 already? One of you bitches has to have worked out a strategy by now. Maybe we should start a fund raiser for bail money.
Posted by jennyquarx on 04/13/11 at 02:48 PM ET
playoff games not applicable in Toronto
so true…. so so true
Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 04/13/11 at 02:49 PM ET
Maybe we should start a fund raiser for bail money.
As long as the sign is displayed in the USofA (don’t know aboot Canada) you shouldn’t be arrested for something like that, we do have 1st Amendment rights the last time I looked. You might get arrested for “disturbing the peace” or some other nonsense - - but no way should that get you anything other than tossed out the arena - - I wouldn’t think.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/13/11 at 02:52 PM ET
Yet another example of why this is still the best hockey site on the planet. Freakin’ awesome. IF we were to have a winner, I’d have no issue at all with kicking in a few bucks to cover any legal fees, bail, etc…
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/13/11 at 02:58 PM ET
What’s second prize: four tickets to a regular season Leafs game?
Posted by Felix LaPoubelle from BC on 04/13/11 at 03:00 PM ET
What’s second prize: four tickets to a regular season Leafs game?
heyohhhh!!!
<rim shot>
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/13/11 at 03:03 PM ET
As long as the sign is displayed in the USofA (don’t know aboot Canada) you shouldn’t be arrested for something like that, we do have 1st Amendment rights the last time I looked. You might get arrested for “disturbing the peace” or some other nonsense - - but no way should that get you anything other than tossed out the arena - - I wouldn’t think.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/13/11 at 12:52 PM ET
Unless you’re in Phoenix, where they try to arrest people for tossing hats after a hat trick.
Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/13/11 at 03:04 PM ET
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 12:33 PM ET
Yes, seriously. And where the Hell have you been?
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/13/11 at 03:04 PM ET
And it’s not low, it’s hilarious.
Well I am not going to spend all day on this but I just do not see any humor in attempting to humiliate someone in front of a very large viewing audience. The problem here is everyone is making this out to be some sort of good idea, but a very very large majority would never do such a thing… however, you will get one person who will think that by all the chatter of how great an idea it is, will in turn decide to do this.
I just hope that if it was to ever happen, Pierre would have enough resolve and personal confidence to believe in himself and ignore it. Could you imagine if he did not, and he actually became depressed and did something to himself? Of course many of you will take that and say one of 2 things :
1. Good, we can only hope.
2. That is crazy, he would not do that.
Is it really that crazy of an idea? This stuff happens all the time from jerks who have steel balls via the safety of the internet, posting crap like this to intimidate and humiliate for some sort of disgusting self-satisfaction.
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 03:05 PM ET
Someone is going to actually win this sometime. Year 4 already? One of you bitches has to have worked out a strategy by now. Maybe we should start a fund raiser for bail money.
Posted by jennyquarx on 04/13/11 at 12:48 PM ET
There are few opportunities to cash in on this challenge. DC works in the States for NBC. This means that there are, perhaps, 25-30 games to work with.
First, you need good seats. Really fuching good seats. No usher at any arena I’ve been to will allow somebody in the lower bowl during the game without a ticket. In Detroit, that means paying for a ticket in sections 121 or 122. Plan on buying at least two tickets, since those are all sold as season tickets and are rarely available as singles.
Second, watch a NBC broadcast closely, to see what size of a sign you need to fit in the camera frame w/ DC’s oversized dome and still be legible to the viewers at home.
Third, an accomplice on the outside watching the broadcast over-the-air would be a huge help to timing it correctly. Then, casually walk down the aisle while removing the sign from under your shirt and go for it.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/13/11 at 03:07 PM ET
Waitress, “what kind of a shake can I get fer ya?”
Me, “the Michael J. Fox please”
I have to stop watching Family Guy.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/13/11 at 03:07 PM ET
I just hope that if it was to ever happen, Pierre would have enough resolve and personal confidence to believe in himself and ignore it. Could you imagine if he did not, and he actually became depressed and did something to himself? Of course many of you will take that and say one of 2 things :
1. Good, we can only hope.
2. That is crazy, he would not do that.Is it really that crazy of an idea? This stuff happens all the time from jerks who have steel balls via the safety of the internet, posting crap like this to intimidate and humiliate for some sort of disgusting self-satisfaction.
You are ridiculous.
If getting fired as the GM of an NHL team and then not being hired through multiple years worth of attempts hasn’t done that, why would a fan holding a sign do it?
Pierre McGuire is a full-grown man. If he can’t handle the opinions of others, then he should step out of the spotlight… that spotlight in which he gives his opinions on others ALL THE TIME.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/13/11 at 03:11 PM ET
ROTFLMAO! I am seriously going to be looking for that sign now, in every game. VooX, thank you - you are a genius.
Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/13/11 at 03:11 PM ET
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 01:05 PM ET
Ringo, you are now a cause for concern. Stop taking this topic too seriously before you embarass yourself any more than you already have.
Are you related to Pierre? Does his daughter watch your kids? If the answer to either of these questions is no than I would suggest that you go into turtle-mode immediately.
Enjoy the playoffs, have a Yuengling or two and enjoy this great time.
Posted by Leo_Racicot on 04/13/11 at 03:12 PM ET
Posted by Felix LaPoubelle from BC on 04/13/11 at 01:00 PM ET
Great gag.
Posted by Leo_Racicot on 04/13/11 at 03:13 PM ET
Here’s the sign:
Pierre McGuire
=
Picture of Douchebag( actual thing not person) + Picture of a canoe
Posted by pgoody on 04/13/11 at 03:13 PM ET
Is it really that crazy of an idea? This stuff happens all the time from jerks who have steel balls via the safety of the internet, posting crap like this to intimidate and humiliate for some sort of disgusting self-satisfaction.
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 01:05 PM ET
First, let me point out that the likelihood of someone winning this contest is extremely small.
Second, I believe that Pierre Mcguire is well aware of how much he is hated by many hockey fans. Go to google, search his name. What do you see? HUNDREDS of posts, comments, videos, and pictures that mock, deride, insult and/or otherwise are negative about him. Do you really think it possible that he does not know about those things?
Third, anyone who has the type of personality to go on television regularly like he does is unlikely to be the type who will swallow enough tylenol to end it all because of one stupid sign.
Fourth, do you even go here?
Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/13/11 at 03:14 PM ET
And where the Hell have you been?
You mean literally? Been working a lot outside. Also switched computers and forgot my KK password.
You mean, as in “we do this every year, where have you been”? For some reason i must have missed this GEM of a game for the past couple years i have been hanging out on this site. I would have said something in years past had i seen it.
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 03:15 PM ET
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 01:15 PM ET
Bro. Seriously.
I’m not gonna advise you anymore beyond this, you’re on your own from here.
Posted by Leo_Racicot on 04/13/11 at 03:17 PM ET
What’s second prize: four tickets to a regular season Leafs game?
http://www.hiyoooo.com/
http://instantrimshot.com/
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/13/11 at 01:03 PM ET
Fixt.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/13/11 at 03:19 PM ET
Pierre McGuire is a full-grown man. If he can’t handle the opinions of others, then he should step out of the spotlight… that spotlight in which he gives his opinions on others ALL THE TIME.
This part is actually very ironic. Many of you all are also full grown men (considering kids in school are not able to post comments on a hockey site all day—i hope). The fact that you guys, bing full grown men, participate in something like this is a little troubling.
As for taking this a little too serious, i think sometimes it takes people on the internet to say “hey, lets be a little more sensitive” in regards to “games/contests” like this.
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 03:20 PM ET
I just do not see any humor in attempting to humiliate someone in front of a very large viewing audience.
Oh come on, you must’ve seen your boy Pierre on television before, he humiliates himself on a regular basis. This is just an attempt to celebrate his buffoonery.
Could you imagine if ...he actually became depressed and did something to himself?
Seriously? Please tell me that was a joke. I mean no one can be that devoid of humor. It’s just not healthy. And please stop worrying about the quality of our balls. That really creeps me out.
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/13/11 at 03:21 PM ET
I will do this if I can ever get the seats. I’m kind of fortunate in that living in Alberta, when the Wings come here there’s usually a good chance at least one of the games in Calgary and Edmonton will be on TSN. Getting the seats is the hardest part though. I’ve never seen those seats available on sites like kijiji, stubhub, etc.
God damn it, it’s still 5 and half hours until game time. Seem like the clock is moving forward at a snail’s pace.
Posted by Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada on 04/13/11 at 03:23 PM ET
This part is actually very ironic. Many of you all are also full grown men (considering kids in school are not able to post comments on a hockey site all day—i hope). The fact that you guys, bing full grown men, participate in something like this is a little troubling.
Not to be “that guy” (as in a person who owns a dictionary), but my being a full-grown man stating that Pierre is also a full-grown man who should have the mental fortitude to be able to emotionally handle the fact that people don’t like him has nothing to do with irony. It is not an ironic statement.
I expect in myself the same ability to accept that some people don’t like me that I’m expecting in Pierre McGuire.
As for taking this a little too serious, i think sometimes it takes people on the internet to say “hey, lets be a little more sensitive” in regards to “games/contests” like this.
Of all the great causes out here, you’re championing the “Let’s be nicer to Pierre McGuire” cause? You’re a real hero.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/13/11 at 03:24 PM ET
And please stop worrying about the quality of our balls.
BWAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Posted by pgoody on 04/13/11 at 03:26 PM ET
Well I am not going to spend all day on this but I just do not see any humor in attempting to humiliate someone in front of a very large viewing audience. The problem here is everyone is making this out to be some sort of good idea, but a very very large majority would never do such a thing… however, you will get one person who will think that by all the chatter of how great an idea it is, will in turn decide to do this.
I just hope that if it was to ever happen, Pierre would have enough resolve and personal confidence to believe in himself and ignore it. Could you imagine if he did not, and he actually became depressed and did something to himself? Of course many of you will take that and say one of 2 things :
1. Good, we can only hope.
2. That is crazy, he would not do that.Is it really that crazy of an idea? This stuff happens all the time from jerks who have steel balls via the safety of the internet, posting crap like this to intimidate and humiliate for some sort of disgusting self-satisfaction.
Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 04/13/11 at 01:05 PM ET
Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 04/13/11 at 03:27 PM ET
while i absolutely LOVE this contest for all of the obvious reasons… I have to say, that if I were able to shell out enough dough to actually attend a playoff game, I don’t think that attending a regular season Leafs game is worth getting kicked out for… especially if the Wings game is excluded.
Posted by perfection from LaLaLand on 04/13/11 at 03:30 PM ET
OK, upon further review of these comments, I’m pretty sure we’re being had here.
This cannot possibly be a serious discussion we’re having.
Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 04/13/11 at 03:30 PM ET
I miss Mayberry sittin on the porch drinkin ice cold cherry…......... coke
Posted by pgoody on 04/13/11 at 03:32 PM ET
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com
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Dying here.
Posted by Leo_Racicot on 04/13/11 at 02:33 PM ET