Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

The Rhythm Method Never Works and You Shouldn’t Have Tried It.

It's been a long, long day.  Torturous.  I tried to give you advice this morning. But you didn't take it. Not a single one of you listened.  Instead you opted to obsess.  You chose to fret and worry, and you probably ruined a whole bunch of Mother's Days.  19 pretty maids all in a row, waiting for you to pamper them.  And all you could do was stress about...you know.

I like this team.  We all do. They've grown on us and they've done more than we could have seriously expected.  It's been a bonanza, a bountiful bouncing April and May baby that you didn't expect.  You thought you took all the precautions, but this one time, this one silly time, the cheap-ass thing broke.  We didn't expect this but here we are, and I'll be damned if we don't love this baby just like the other 21.  

And we've learned from the others.  We cut this one a bit more slack. We temper our expectations for their sake and for ours. But when they succeed, even slightly, we start to think maybe they'll be just as awesome as three or four of their older siblings.

But this baby's still a toddler, mostly toothless.  He takes a few steps forward and you're thinking you'd better start putting the expensive shit away, out of reach, because he's got the skills to start breaking things.  Then he falls and you almost breathe a sight of relief. Too much. Too soon.

But you see it.  You've seen it before and you know the signs. This one's got something.  He does.  The unexpected ones always do.  They bring you a kind of joy you didn't anticipate and so everything is new again.  

Put the binkies in, boys.  Put 'em in. Keep 'em in and piss all over yourselves if you have to. If that's what it takes.  

It's a Game Seven Live Blog, bitches.  We like this team. We dig these kids.  And we've all got a feeling.  This baby just may have legs.

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Comments

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Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

did this *#$%@& just recommend that Selanne literally run over Jimmy Howard?

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/12/13 at 09:30 PM ET

He said Perry. Jones is not too bright.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

 

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/12/13 at 08:33 PM ET

Aimee in Austin's avatar

Thanks Kate. Hope all is well you and yours. LGRW!

Posted by Aimee in Austin on 05/12/13 at 08:35 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Will the VTC link for QuickTime be up?

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/12/13 at 08:36 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Jones is not too bright.

That’s why I call him Goober (I think he looks like him too).

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/12/13 at 08:37 PM ET

Rdwings28's avatar

Time for ken and paul

Posted by Rdwings28 on 05/12/13 at 08:39 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

Ev’nin all. I’ve been looking for omens and signs all day, but there’s just been nothing. Partly that’s because of the unseasonal crap cold in SE Michigan all day. But I’m feeling a happy empty. Got a couple cold ones waiting at the ready. I don’t care how many close calls it takes. Don’t care who scores. As they say, they don’t ask how, only how many. Let’s get it on.

Posted by MoreShoot on 05/12/13 at 08:40 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Jonesy said Heatley would score 70. That is all.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/12/13 at 08:40 PM ET

klank's avatar

VLC Link

should be the Wings feed, Bill

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 05/12/13 at 08:41 PM ET

Surfer Ken's avatar

Im going to put you all at ease and guarantee a Red Wing victory.  Im NEVER wrong.  Well except that time I thought he was a she, but that dont count.

Posted by Surfer Ken from San Clemente on 05/12/13 at 08:42 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I’m gonna join in proly the third period, 10:00 is my Mad Men hour, then I’ll proly watch it again until midnight.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/12/13 at 08:42 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Thanks klank, will try it.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/12/13 at 08:43 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

I think I’m going to be sick.

God, I hate Game 7s.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/12/13 at 08:43 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Goober a/k/a Keith Jones

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/12/13 at 08:44 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Hola bitches. Game 7 tension building and I can’t think of a better place to spend it than with the best fake friends on the planet.

Just got off the phone with Mom and she tells me she can’t watch the game because comcast took away the fox channels on her cable. Anyone know if any other stations covering the game? She lives in Clinton twp.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 05/12/13 at 08:45 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Wow.  Leafs break the 0-0 tie with a goal early in the third.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/12/13 at 08:47 PM ET

Avatar

No idea whats going to happen.  It has been nerve racking though.  Man this team has grown on me.  Just give it to GaryAss Red Wings! 
Shame on him for making my eastern friends stay up so late.

Posted by Jeff from CO. on 05/12/13 at 08:48 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

God, I hate Game 7s.

Whenever I feel that thing coming on, I just reminisce back to Patrick Roy doing the statue of Liberty : I have the Puck!  ... oh wait, I don’t

makes me all warm and happy.

Posted by MoreShoot on 05/12/13 at 08:50 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

So is this Bo Dietl guy on these Arby’s commercials mentally disabled? I don’t get it. What’s the joke? That he’s recovering from some kind of head trauma?

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/12/13 at 08:50 PM ET

klank's avatar

comcast took away the fox channels on her cable.

unbelievable.  that’s a new low from Comcrap; take away the only cable channels that airs Detroit sports, from markets in the Metro Detroit area.

wow.

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 05/12/13 at 08:51 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Toronto now up by 2.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/12/13 at 08:51 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

comcast took away the fox channels on her cable.

I’d be taking Comcast out of my house.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/12/13 at 08:53 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

Toronto now up by 2.

Going into the playoffs I gave Toronto and Minne the least chance of doing anything, but there they are, making the Bs sweat.

Posted by MoreShoot on 05/12/13 at 08:54 PM ET

Avatar

For those who need it, don’t forget FakeGPS for Android phones. Set your location outside the US and you can watch GameCenter if you have it.

Posted by CJBear71 on 05/12/13 at 08:56 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Jimmy’s got to be huge.

I hope we get through the first 10 minutes unscathed.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/12/13 at 08:56 PM ET

Itrusteddrrahmani's avatar

So for those of us outside the ken/mick viewing area, the game on versus still has 10 mins left, are the Wings going to start on NHLN or something? I haven’t seen anything yet.

Posted by Itrusteddrrahmani from Nyc by way of A2 on 05/12/13 at 08:57 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Aloha you bitches.  JFC. I hate the playoffs. I despise Game 7’s, but I dig every one of you.

And I really like this team. 

Do it motherfuchers.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 05/12/13 at 08:57 PM ET

The Hurricane's avatar

Decided it necessary to don my Kozlov jersey….it’s on bitches.
L.G.MFing.R.W.

SKATE to FUCHING Throat.

Posted by The Hurricane on 05/12/13 at 09:00 PM ET

Avatar

Oh, and with FakeGPS, you can get Ken & Mick’s broadcast.

Posted by CJBear71 on 05/12/13 at 09:00 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Evening bitches

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 05/12/13 at 09:01 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

I had fun once.

it was horrible.

this is much better.

Posted by Hootinani on 05/12/13 at 09:01 PM ET

Zqto's avatar

WTF 23:01 and the stream on gamecenter is still offline

IM GOING BANANAS

Posted by Zqto on 05/12/13 at 09:01 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

God, look at how bald Getzlaf is.

He’s so bald.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/12/13 at 09:02 PM ET

kayl's avatar

Anyone have a stream? Can’t get the VLC link above to work. Thanks!

Posted by kayl from Brewtown on 05/12/13 at 09:02 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

No place for a nervous person… let’s go bitches.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/12/13 at 09:02 PM ET

peiz11's avatar

Any news on where this is out of market? Not cnbc. NHL still doing highlights.

Posted by peiz11 from Minneapolis on 05/12/13 at 09:03 PM ET

Avatar

Ugh…. Looks like Detroit feed is only the NBC feed. Booooooo..

Posted by CJBear71 on 05/12/13 at 09:03 PM ET

VooX's avatar

HD Link for VLC and Quicktime.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 05/12/13 at 09:04 PM ET

Itrusteddrrahmani's avatar

Any news on where this is out of market? Not cnbc. NHL still doing highlights.

Same here. No idea

Posted by Itrusteddrrahmani from Nyc by way of A2 on 05/12/13 at 09:04 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Where is our game?????

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/12/13 at 09:04 PM ET

VooX's avatar

What are you bitches drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 05/12/13 at 09:04 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com