Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

The Ducks Are Going To Use One Of Those Elmer Fudd Guns And Blast Us

We're about to Live Blog a shipwreck.

I have nothing good to report.  Anaheim is the best team in hockey right now.  We are the 7th best team in the Western Conference, if that.  Anaheim hasn't lost at home since 1985.  The Wings are in a fun little dance we like to call, "One step forward, eight steps back right into a pile of steaming dog shit."

Mike Babcock actually said...

“Bert and Helmer and Sammy (Mikael Samuelsson) have been on our roster, but I haven't seen them. It would be like a trade-deadline deal (getting one or two back). It would be unbelievable to have them.

God. Please. Just STFU.

But hey, don't worry.  The trade deadline's right around the corner and the Wings are ready to stick some shishkabob spears into some burning meat just to see if it's raw or cooked and if it's cooked, well then shit let's send it down to GR to get even more cooked but if it's raw? Well hell. If it's raw, you let a good talented defenseman sign with Edmonton instead of making a big push to get him in Detroit because Kyle Quincey, for instance, is wayyyy better than, oh I don't know...Justin Schultz?

And if you don't learn your lesson from that, then you go ahead and do what the smart kids tell you is the stupidest fuching thing ever...you repeat the same mistake.  What am I saying?

Don't even think about this Dekeyser kid. Thinking about it is setting yourself up and that leads to nothing but disgust because Tick Tock's trying to decide whether we can afford yet another young player who makes less than 500 thousand, eh?

What he's really trying to do, and he's said as much, is figure out whether the Wings are a playoff team.  Well, are they? Huh? We'll find out soon enough. Tonite. Sunday. In Anaheim. It's not looking good. Not one bit.

Live Blog it, bitches.  The ugliness is just beginning, really.

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Comments

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CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

It doesn’t look like Unabomber or helmer are coming back this season.

Lottery here we come.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/22/13 at 07:41 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

thanks, Chief

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/22/13 at 07:48 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Im gonna bwast dat widdle waaabit.
Freaking Looney Tunes, eh?

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 03/22/13 at 07:49 PM ET

Crow's avatar

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like they are a sadomasochist for watching the Red Wings?

L.G.R.W!

Posted by Crow on 03/22/13 at 07:53 PM ET

w2j2's avatar

The Wings are in a fun little dance we like to call, “One step forward, eight steps back right into a pile of steaming dog shit.”

...do-se-do…!

I didn’t know that the Chief called square dances!

Boy, I am going to need my bourbon tonight!

cool smirk

Posted by w2j2 on 03/22/13 at 07:54 PM ET

joedaiceman's avatar

Great stuff. Laughing my rather sizable set of buttocks off.

Posted by joedaiceman on 03/22/13 at 08:01 PM ET

w2j2's avatar

“When the S*** starts to fly, just batten down the hatches and play trap defense… and only go across your blue line if you accidently get the puck.”

...Jacques LeMaire

tongue rolleye

Posted by w2j2 on 03/22/13 at 08:03 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

as I posted in the GDT:

thanks, Okie

” ... DET take their 5-6-2 road record ... “
[38.5% winning pct., only 12 of possible 26 pt.s]

” ... away-and-away with ANA ... “
[how often is an ‘away-and-away’ scheduled? 1 in 1,000? 1 in 10,000? 100,000? ???]

” ... ANA (13-1 at home ... “
[92.9%, 26 of 28 pt.s]

” ... then go to PHX (10-5-1 at home), ... “
[62.5%, 21 of 32 pt.s]

” ...and finish the road-trip at SJS (8-1-4 at home) ... “
[61.5%, 20 of 26 pt.s]

” ... before ending the month hosting CHI (13-2-2 away). ... “
[76.5%, 28 of 34 pt.s]

[ ...if my math is right ... ]

... now I’m ready ...

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/22/13 at 07:00 PM ET

it’ll be interesting to see how we come out on the other side of this thing ...

still, never give up.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/22/13 at 08:04 PM ET

w2j2's avatar

HippyDave posted this earlier today.  I think it fits our situation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pdi_kASSsJs

Posted by w2j2 on 03/22/13 at 08:12 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like they are a sadomasochist for watching the Red Wings?

L.G.R.W!

Posted by Crow on 03/22/13 at 07:53 PM ET

It was a prerequisite when many of started following the Wings.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/22/13 at 08:14 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Us. Many of us.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/22/13 at 08:15 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

can we please make that a theme for this season: Babcock STFU ?

I’m so sick of uncle Mike theory.

Were doomed. We can’t possibly do what we HAVE to do, which is get 3 points in the next 48 hours. Screw it. lets do it any way. We’re riding the new third line FTW.

Posted by MoreShoot on 03/22/13 at 08:43 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Were doomed. We can’t possibly do what we HAVE to do, which is get 3 points in the next 48 hours. Screw it. lets do it any way. We’re riding the new third line FTW.

Posted by MoreShoot on 03/22/13 at 08:43 PM ET

Tertiary scoring? I vaguely remember that concept.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/22/13 at 08:46 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

+ 19 Cap’n . It could and has been much much worse in the darkness with Harkness days.  A team when Terry Harper was our TPH and Paul Woods was our Pavs?
I took a bite out of the that shit pile earlier today and am looking forwars to a better night. Like last Friday?

Go Wings.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 03/22/13 at 08:49 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Time to crawl through a river of shit and come out clean on the other side. Let’s do this.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 03/22/13 at 09:07 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Howdy all! 

I am staying hopeful - always give it your all, play to Win!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 03/22/13 at 09:09 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

  Time to crawl through a river of shit and come out clean on the other side. Let’s do this.

Posted by monkey from Fear and Loathing on 03/22/13 at 09:07 PM ET

too bad we picked wet burrito night to make the trip

Posted by Hootinani on 03/22/13 at 09:11 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Wings prospect Martin Frk with 5g, 3a tonight…

There. Happyville.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 03/22/13 at 09:27 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Posted by
     
    Hootinani
     
      on 03/22/13 at 09:11 PM ET

I had two of those for lunch.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 03/22/13 at 09:28 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Time to crawl through a river of shit and come out clean on the other side. Let’s do this.

Posted by monkey from Fear and Loathing on 03/22/13 at 09:07 PM ET

Give credit to the guy who posted that earlier.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/22/13 at 09:34 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Phlk,.zžźżxçčćvbñń

Hey I just discovered how to write a spanish n with tilda.  Also a bunch of Czech consonants.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/22/13 at 09:38 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

lovin’ me some frk right now.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/22/13 at 09:42 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Any Wings feed around? I’m so not in the mood for this other announcer crap.
It’s not that Ken and Mick are better.. They aren’t the typical homers. They call shit how it should be. A bad call is a bad call, no matter the team. A good call is a good one. All these other bastids don’t credit anything unless it’s their team. Makes me fuching sick.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 03/22/13 at 09:47 PM ET

gt500x's avatar

Wooo, we’re gonna win tonight!

Posted by gt500x on 03/22/13 at 09:50 PM ET

gt500x's avatar

but as far as the season goes we’re still ******

Posted by gt500x on 03/22/13 at 09:51 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Phlk,.zžźżxçčćvbñń

Hey I just discovered how to write a spanish n with tilda.  Also a bunch of Czech consonants.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/22/13 at 09:38 PM ET

You just declared war on catholic girls… underware.

Posted by calquake on 03/22/13 at 09:58 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

Man, I really got nothin for tonight. I’ll be here following along, but im gonna watch this one with earnest. I’m a glutton for punishment I guess. Just like all the 19.

Game On!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 03/22/13 at 09:59 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Game. On.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 03/22/13 at 10:00 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Behind Enemy Lines checking in. Tons of RED on the seats
LGRW !!!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the prospect shuffle.... on 03/22/13 at 10:00 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

Oh I guess I do have something…....for Gus. Just go out, stay loose and score like a crazy bastard! Uncle Mike can downplay you all he wants, atleast I know your a solid player.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 03/22/13 at 10:01 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

That’s right, Gus!

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 03/22/13 at 10:02 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Posted some fotos on FB. To inept to post here

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the prospect shuffle.... on 03/22/13 at 10:02 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Ain’t this the shits… game on NHL Network… blacked out here some 125 miles from Anaheim… and Fox Sports West is an additional $9 a month.  Fuch you Gary and all your bullshit.

Posted by calquake on 03/22/13 at 10:03 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Posted some fotos on FB. To inept to post here

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, enjoying the decline…... on 03/22/13 at 10:02 PM ET

Good and Close Pics. Thanks!

L.G.R.W.

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 03/22/13 at 10:04 PM ET

Thunderpriest's avatar

Hola Beetches!
So, which personality of the schizophrenic Wings will show up tonight? I am fully expecting them to get stomped….so….I predict a 5-2 Wings win.
Just because I don’t know jack squat.

Posted by Thunderpriest on 03/22/13 at 10:05 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

but do we score on the pp while on the road?

pregame song being sung.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/22/13 at 10:06 PM ET

klank's avatar

60 minutes boys, LGRW!

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 03/22/13 at 10:08 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Any feeds available?

Posted by calquake on 03/22/13 at 10:08 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Greetings.  NHL Network shits all over us by giving us the worst broadcast crew in all of sports.  Proving once again that the NHL is the very definition of EPIC FAIL

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/22/13 at 10:09 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

FSD FEED

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/22/13 at 10:09 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com