Abel to Yzerman
by VooX on 01/16/12 at 02:37 AM ET
Most of the time, Nicklas Lidstrom and Teemu Selanne deserve the utmost respect.
So far, so good, except for that bit about that ugly *uck at the end…
All that aside, though, why has the NHL allowed them to become bigger than the game? Or, more precisely, bigger than the All-Star Game?
In case you somehow missed it, Lidstrom and Selanne won’t be coming to Ottawa for All-Star Game festivities in just over a week…
...they’re not coming because they went to their respective management teams and asked not to be considered for what is supposed to be a showpiece game for the NHL.
Sounds like a Senators fan in the vast and horrible wasteland that is the Ottawa area has their little panties in a bunch and, following our next quote, it will become apparently clear that Ken Warren should put his weekend ball-gag in his mouth full-time and simply shut the fuch up. Forever.
Call me jaded, but the league might just have given Lidstrom and Selanne a thing or two along the way, too. They have become ambassadors for the game because of what they have done and for what the league has done for them, as well.
I suppose I am being unfair; getting into a battle of wits with an unarmed man just isn’t sporting. Should we really even be seriously considering the opinion of a writer who still uses a Flowbee to cut his hair?
Ken “Flowbee-wan” Warren
Let me spell it out for you, Flowbee-wan, there hasn’t been a single franchise in the NHL over that past 2+ decades who have done more for the league than the Red Wings. Not one. And while the Red Wings have been the ultimate team players for the league, they have been nothing but butt-raped by Li’l Gary for it. Sticking us in a division with other teams nobody cares to even watch, check. Putting us in a conference where every other playoff team is in a different time zone, check. Trying to ban Al Sobotka’s octopus twirl, check. Giving us less than 72 hours between our last playoff game and the Stanley Cup final Game 1, check. Ignoring the too many men on the ice rule for the Li’l Emperor’s chosen franchise during the Stanley Cup finals… check, yet again.
What exactly have the Senators’ done for the league? Precisely. Jack. Shit.
When the Senators become a legitimate playoff team, maybe then Flowbee-wan Warren will understand why Nick Lidstrom, the league’s greatest defenceman of all-time, wants to take a couple of days off.
Since Li’l Gary’s 2004 “Offseason” the Ottawa Senators have played 36 playoff games, only 1 series against a team OUTSIDE their home time zone. In that same period of time, the Detroit Red Wings have played 92 playoff games, only
3 series with a team INSIDE their home time zone. Now you don’t need to be a pharmacist to see the discrepancy there. Not only have the Wings played almost an entire extra season over the Senators in that time period, but they’ve done most of it while traveling long distances.
If Ken Warren can’t find the motivation to leave his house to get a proper haircut, insisting on using the household vacuum cleaner instead, why would the greatest defenceman in history, Nick Lidstrom, be motivated to attend Li’l Gary’s All-Star Game? Certainly not for Li’l Gary Bettman, the imp commissioner who didn’t even see fit to spell check Lidstrom’s name before handing him yet another Norris trophy.
Nick Lindstrom accepts his 2008 Norris Trophy
If Lidstrom wants to spend a few days off with his family, that is his right and prerogative. Nick has sacrificed more (including his left nut) for hockey than anyone could ever ask. In fact, if The Perfect Human wants to spend a few days off with your family, Ken, you better give the wife a Brazilian, shave her mustache, and send her over to him on the next flight, as that is Nick’s right and prerogative as well.
And finally Flowbee-wan, just in case you didn’t know about the 19, you might want to check out how much the 19 at A2Y actually give a fuch about Li’l Gary and his ASS.Game. Of course, when you have nothing else in your team’s history to glorify, like championships, every little dog and pony show that comes to town is a pretty big deal. For the league’s greatest dynasty, however, it is just more bullshit between the Wings and claiming what is rightfully theirs once again, Stanley Cup #12.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com