Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Nobody Likes A Delicate Genius

As a Red Wings fan there is a lot to be happy about.  There is also a lot to get pissed off about.

The happiness comes from the Red Wings, the best Organ-I-zation in sports, and their fans.  The two greatest forces in hockey.  The anger comes from everything outside of that.

As the first post since the Wings were eliminated, you might expect some sad reflection and wondering on what could have been.  Maybe on any blog other than A2Y that would happen.  Over here, cocky arrogance is never replaced with quiet melancholy.  It’s not in our DNA to get all emo and pout.  Real Red Wings fans remain optimistic.

There will be those who cast doubts on the future of the team.  The lips on their mouths flapping in the wind like the wizard sleeves they are to anyone who will listen.  You can almost hear the Delicate Genius’ wizard sleeves slapping together when he writes this:

In Hockeytown, when the team wins, it feels like destiny, and when it loses, destiny took a breather, sure to be back next year, ready for a kiss, right?
Well, at the risk of having my head taken off, don’t be so sure.

Sure, Mitch.  We’ll listen to what you have to say.  You’ve been so good to Red Wings fans writing the semi-annual article in between feeling up old ladies you meet on your book tour.  Of course, this blog was created as an opposing force to the moronic drivel Red Wings writers like the Delicate Genius offer us.  So why stop now?


There is a reason real Red Wings fans hate the Delicate Genius.  He is the definition of a bandwagon journalist.  A hack who draws a salary to comment on something he knows nothing about, and cares even less for.

But ignorance doesn’t stop the Delicate Genius.  Tell us, Mitch, why the sudden negativity?

I had a unique chance to watch this second round from afar—for the first time in years—and minus the coating of our hometown optimism, I have to say this:
They were beaten.
And it could easily happen again.

Give me a fauxing break, Mitchell, I can read between the


sentences you wrote.  You watched this second round from afar?  Bullshit.  You were too busy on tour selling the saccharine drivel you pass off for books to mindless Oprah housewife-zombies to watch any playoff hockey this season.  As we know, Versus is carried in very few US cities, and exactly none of the retirement centres and schools on your book tour.

Real Red Wings fans deserve so much more than you.  We deserve more than the Deep Diggers too.  We deserve journalists who understand how well this team really did this season.  Despite the early playoff exit, Wings fans should be proud.

Looking back to January, the playoffs seemed like a remote possibility.  We kept the faith and it was rewarded.  Not only did we make the playoffs, but we ended up in 5th position when many other teams would have gone fetal after being molested by Jobu all season.  We overcame incredible odds but ultimately lost to the 2nd place team in the NHL during the regular season, San Jose.  There is no shame in that.  It’s not like we lost at home to the 19th place team in game 7 to end our chances of another Stanley Cup.  That would be pathetic.

The future is bright in Hockeytown.  Every player on the team buys into our system.  Every player is committed to winning.  Every season.  We have the best management, scouting, and cap management in the NHL.  In Tick-Tock we trust.

Not the Delicate Genius, however.  More drivel from his wizard sleeve:

And remember, the Wings’ recent success has coincided with years of the Sharks’ underachieving. If San Jose finally has figured it out—along with coming teams like Chicago and defending champion Pittsburgh—that’s not good for Detroit’s chances.

STFU, Mitch, you have no idea what you are talking about.  The Western Conference should be renamed after Mike Ilitch.  After all, it was his leadership at the helm of the Red Wings which led to our style of management and play.  No other team has shaped their competitors like the Red Wings have.  Ever.

The reason the Western Conference dominated the Eastern Conference for the past decade is because of the Red Wings.  The Wings forced the entire conference to learn how to play defence in order to have a shot at beating us.  There is a reason they say to get the Cup you have to go through Detroit.

While other teams may emulate us, they are always a little behind.  The Wings style continues to evolve and adapt to the changing game.  We will be a front-runner again next season as we chase Cup #12.  We will be a front-runner the season after that.  And after that.

So spare the fair-weather journalism for those who don’t understand hockey.  Hockeytown is too smart not to believe that the legend of the Red Wings Dynasty will continue to be written.  Never bet against the Red Wings.  Real Wings fans know better than that, and so should you, Mitch.  We don’t deserve, or care for, bandwagon journalism.  Save it for a more appropriate audience.  Like Pens fans.

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AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Conversation I had today after my phone rang

Holy jumpin’ crap—that’s the EXACT same conversation I had with a friend from Irvine after the Schmucks won the Cup in 2007…

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 06/10/10 at 06:34 PM ET


According to NHL.com, Sidney Crosby’s birthday is August 7, 1987 and Jonathan Toews’ birthday is April 29, 1988. Unless I am crazy, this makes Toews 8 months younger than Corsby and therefore the youngest captain. It would also make Crosby ready to turn 23, which makes much more sense since he has been in the league 5 years and was drafted as an 18 yr old.

Posted by Anne from Kansas on 06/10/10 at 07:16 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

“Hossa finally has his Cup”. What the hell, is he Andreychuk? The man is a Cup-wore. And and expensive one, a Cup-escort, if you will.

Also, he’s an awful prostitute. Sure, he’s great on foreplay, has great hands and plays BJs well, but does nothing on the right time. Just one goal on 6 games on this Finals, he basically laid and left its client, Chicago, do the dirty work in missionary position. The ‘Hawks basically jerked his way to the Stanley Cup.

Does it all mean that Chicago is Richard Gere?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 06/10/10 at 07:17 PM ET

edillac's avatar

Posted by Anne from Kansas on 06/10/10 at 06:16 PM ET

yes,Honest Toews IS younger,but when he won the cup-yesterday,he did it as an older person than Crotchby was when it won the cup. I was told so today,did not look up the facts,so it might not be true.

Posted by edillac from isolation on 06/10/10 at 07:30 PM ET


OK, so I’m retarded, obviously the original point stands.  I really shouldn’t post after a day comprised of reading SOP’s off of a computer screen, apparently it damages my reading comprehension!

Posted by Anne from Kansas on 06/10/10 at 07:56 PM ET

Triple Deke Tyler's avatar

yes,Honest Toews IS younger,but when he won the cup-yesterday,he did it as an older person than Crotchby was when it won the cup. I was told so today,did not look up the facts,so it might not be true.

Thought that writing looked familiar. So you’re here for the high brow humor, eh?

Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 06/10/10 at 10:53 PM ET

Baroque's avatar

@ KelseyAnn -

Try here, I think this is what you are looking for.


George Malik transcribed the interview.

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 06/11/10 at 05:06 AM ET

MarkK's avatar

Top “three” from the playoff bracket challenge:

1.  DistortionDan 211
2.  twelve 190
3.  42jeff 175
3.  stonehands78 175
3.  vikbash 175

Congrats to Distortion Dan!  You win bragging rights and an expired can of Chicken-of-the-Sea.

I made a big comeback, picking up number of games and winner in the final, from 12th to make 7th after failing to get a single pick right in the second or third rounds.  Hope y’alls havin a good summer.

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 06/11/10 at 08:19 AM ET

Animal Drew's avatar


Is that Chicken or Tuna?

Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 06/11/10 at 11:34 AM ET

monkey's avatar

hahahahaha epic way to start the day. Fyckin awesome.

You’re welcome, glad to be of service.

Touche, Monkey.  And I agree with your assessment of goalies, incidentally.  Even Luongo, the supposed next ‘elite’ goalie, does not measure up to the coinciding all-time greats you mentioned, and I suspect he never will.  There may be one or two out there that may yet surprise us with sustained periods of outstanding play in goal (in fact, one that toils in anonymity, Tomas Vokoun, comes close), but that remains to be seen.


Posted by monkey from Prague on 06/11/10 at 11:37 AM ET

monkey's avatar

Is that Chicken or Tuna?

If it’s expired, it’s tuna either way.

Posted by monkey from Prague on 06/11/10 at 11:49 AM ET

Animal Drew's avatar

If it’s expired, it’s tuna either way.
Posted by monkey from bat country on 06/11/10 at 10:49 AM ET


Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 06/11/10 at 02:23 PM ET

CaptNorris5's avatar

The bandwagoners are out in full force today. Lots of people who haven’t watched a cumulative 60 minutes of hockey in their entire lives are living it up in shiny new merchandise.

Meanwhile, I’m rocking the Winged Wheel and counting down the hours until I get on 94 headed back toward the motherland.

...is it October yet?

By the way… any news from the Chief??

Posted by CaptNorris5 from The Winged Wheel, stuck in Chicago on 06/11/10 at 04:22 PM ET

CaptNorris5's avatar

Posted by CaptNorris5 from The Winged Wheel, stuck in Chicago on 06/11/10 at 04:36 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Is that an LCD screen on that pan’s handle?


Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 06/11/10 at 06:03 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

I’m a grandpa(!)

Peyton Joshua Harrington
was born on 6/10/10 at 9:10 pm,
3 pounds 8.6 oz, 16 1/2 inches.

Praise God!!!

(original due date: 08/06/10. Baby and Mom doing well)
(oh, and Dad, my son, is doing OK, too)

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 06/11/10 at 07:23 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

P.J.H. this afternoon:

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 06/11/10 at 07:42 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Congrats, Stoney!!!

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 06/11/10 at 07:45 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Stoney!  Congrats to you, man.

Posted by SYF from Twerkin' with Anastasia Ashley on 06/11/10 at 08:00 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Holy Crap Stonehands,  3-6?  Just shows, never never never give up!  What a miracle is that tiny person.

I was going to post some other stuff but it pales in comparison.

Posted by RWBill on 06/11/10 at 08:27 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks.  They have finally won the Stanley Cup four times, just like Kirk Maltby.

Posted by monkey from bat country on 06/10/10 at 07:34 AM ET

Oh yeah, that was one thing.  This is the funniest fall down funny sharp witted retort I have ever read, at least that I remember, which dates back to . . what was I gonna say?

Posted by RWBill on 06/11/10 at 08:30 PM ET


Congrats Stonehands, he is beautiful! He’s obviously strong too, since he is already off the vent letting us see his adorable face grin

Posted by Anne from Kansas on 06/11/10 at 08:32 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Man accidentally shoots himself in testicles
Seattle Times staff

A man accidentally shot himself in the testicles at Lowe’s Home Improvement store in Lynnwood Sunday afternoon, police said.

The man’s handgun, which was in the waistband of his pants, went off at about 12:30 p.m. — an apparent “accidental discharge,” according to Shannon Sessions, a Lynnwood police spokeswoman.

“It made a loud noise and scared a lot of people in the store,” Sessions said. “I believe he shot himself in the testicles and he also had some injuries to his leg and foot. He was obviously in shock.”

Nobody else was hurt and no one appeared to be with the man, she said.

Police and fire responded, and the man was rushed to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle before police had a chance to interview him extensively. Sessions had no further details about the man.

Lynnwood police are continuing to investigate but “at this point it does look like it’s accidental,” Sessions said. A manager at Lowe’s said store personnel are not commenting on the incident.

Accidental discharge in the pants, reminds me of when I was a junior at Owosso High School.

Posted by RWBill on 06/11/10 at 08:33 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

And this, right on time since I was writing about Pronger last weekend.  Even got the state right.

Sasquatch no myth to Virginia man

By Paul Schwartzman
The Washington Post

Billy Willard of Manassas, Va., holds a plaster cast he made from a suspicious footprint several years ago.
THORNBURG, Va. — Billy Willard says he’s on the verge of a major discovery that could change the way humans think about the natural world, not to mention their need for a creature-proof home security system.

.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Posted by RWBill on 06/11/10 at 08:37 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Congrats Grandpa Stoner.  My future Hall of Famer’s should be here within the week.

If anyone hasn’t seen it yet, I suggest going over to SearchDaddy and reading the Hawks tribute written by a painfully obvious, brittle, bruised, battered, berated, bitch Blues Blogger.

I still don’t know who has the worst inferiority complex.

The always BBB Blues fans.

The Hawks fans with their insistence on how much the Red Wings suck.

Or could it be Steelers fans and how much they constantly follow Wings fans around seeking approval of their team and aptain.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 06/11/10 at 08:55 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Congratulations on the birth of your grandson, Stoney!

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 06/11/10 at 09:52 PM ET

jennyquarx's avatar

Congratulations Stoney!

Posted by jennyquarx on 06/11/10 at 10:15 PM ET

Gabriel's avatar

Stonehands, congratulations grandpa!  Looks like the kid ditched the oxygen pretty quick too…

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 06/11/10 at 10:34 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Congrats stoney!  Babies are miracles, and are tough as all get-out.

Little Emmy just passed 3 weeks here a few days ago.  One of the first thing she did was sit up (yeah, she sits up already with a little help) and watch hockey.  “Hock-ey” may be her first word… although “Eat” and “Food” also appear they may be in the running.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 06/10/10 at 09:40 AM ET

Herm, thank you for the World Cup preview.  No really, I mean it.  I vaguyely/kinda’/notreallyexceptforworldcup follow international soccer from here in the States, and I know something about maybe… 10 countries/teams.  Good info on the rest.

By the way, I saw your team on Yahoo, one of your guys whiffing on what may have been a free kick?

Posted by Primis on 06/11/10 at 11:48 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

one of your guys whiffing on what may have been a free kick?
Posted by Primis on 06/11/10 at 10:48 PM ET

Diego marradonnna missing the shootout kick by a wiiiide margin.  God help us the world cup is back like a bad case of herpes.

Posted by RWBill on 06/12/10 at 01:04 AM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

And Osrt’s flown over here just in time to catch it.

No dig on Sophia, you see, but if there’s one continent I’d avoid like a twenty-dollar whore during World Cup time, it’d be Europe.  If I could, I’d spend the next few weeks working from Greenland.

Congratulations on becoming a grandpa, Stoney!  Given the spirit of his grandfather, it’s no surprise that Peyton’s already fighting fit even being born prematurely.  Just watch, he’ll grow to be a seven-foot monster who terrorizes opposition creases while leaving Winged Wheel embossings on defensemen’s faces.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 06/12/10 at 04:12 AM ET

CaptNorris5's avatar

Congrats Stoney! A thousand stick taps to you and yours.

Posted by CaptNorris5 from The Winged Wheel, stuck in Chicago on 06/12/10 at 04:28 AM ET

Baroque's avatar

Congratulations, Stonehands - he’s a gorgeous child. Glad the parents are doing well, also. smile

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 06/12/10 at 10:26 AM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Congratulations Stonehands, glad everything is going well.

Herm, nice World Cup preview. I’ll refrain from talking about it too much as I seem to be one of the only people around here who loves soccer (mainly international play), but I don’t see how anyone could watch this Argentina/Nigeria game and think it’s boring.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 06/12/10 at 11:26 AM ET

Bella's avatar

Huge congratulations to you and your family, Stoney!

Posted by Bella on 06/12/10 at 01:14 PM ET

KelseyAnn's avatar

Thank you Baroque,
And major congrats to Stonehands, the baby is beautiful.

Posted by KelseyAnn from Ahwatukee, Arizona on 06/12/10 at 09:23 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Many “THANKS(!)” to everyone for the well wishes.

I really appreciate it

And Peyton, mom & dad (and grandpa) continue to do very well.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 06/13/10 at 03:03 PM ET

Forklift's avatar

Congratulations on yet another future goal scorer.

Thanks for the congratulations. It’s been one helluva spring - I couldn’t walk 10 feet without someone asking me hockey questions…I was looking for the billboards around Chicago that said “Ask Forklift…that motherfucher knows EVERYTHING!”

Now the Cup is making its rounds, being photographed with a whole big assload of Chads and Trixies. Yippee for them.

Next year, let’s get this shit on in the WCF and show everyone how grownups play this game.

Posted by Forklift from Section 315 in the United Center on 06/14/10 at 11:32 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com