Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

No More Sloppy Seconds, Time To Bury The Oilers Underground

Some amazing things can happen in the space of 60 minutes.  Bob Seger's "Live Bullet" album launched his mainstream career and the Rolling Stones managed to be sober and cohesive long enough to put together their finest work "Exile on Main St.", both clocking in at just over 60.  Even Beethoven's 9th Symphony comes in around the 60 minute mark.  All of them are timeless and seminal efforts.

For some reason our Red Wings just can't put in the effort for a full 60.  As Ken Daniels pointed out yesterday there are Sloppy Seconds. Unfortuantely there are also Taintastic Thirds and Fuch-it Firsts.  For some reason ever since the Sweet Baby Jesus brought Cup #11 to its rightful home in Detroit, the team has stopped playing complete games and started phoning in periods and entire games at a time.

Mule, once hungry for goals, now floats like driftwood for stretches at a time.  Among the 19 this puts him up Shit's Creek with a turd for a paddle, to quote Ween.  Thankfully for some the Mule will not be in the lineup.  According to Malik he is being replaced by the long-awaited return of Mikael Samuelsson.  Wait, I meant Darren Helm whose work as God has been sorely missed around here.

My posting around here has been sporadic but so has my watching of the team.  After more than three years of a self-imposed boycott from the game (Thanks Gary.  Ass) I am slowly getting back into the swing of things.  I've watched two games this week and the Emperor tells me that is two more games than TheLinkGoesHere watches in a typical month, so I feel like I am becoming blog-ready again. 

Around here RedMenace has been showing off in the GDT with fancy tables and graphics and our Command Master Chief has been away on a ship making boys into men.  (Get your mind out of the gutters, perverts).   The juvenile deliciousness we have all come to expect of A2Y has dwindled to a trickle. 

As I get back into the swing of the game and the team, all the old anger is returning.  The vitriol to fuel a thousand angry rants is building up inside me.  The frustrations of Sloppy Seconds and Whiskey Dick power-plays are mounting.  Hopefully, with a bit of time, the three of us at A2Y will be able to match the prolific output of one JJ from Kansas.  Minus the factual analysis and research, of course.

It is time for another Live Blog, bitches.  The bar is open and well stocked so fire up a colortini, sit back, relax, and watch the pictures as they fly through the air.  It's time for the Wings to bury the Oilers deep undergroud into the tar sands whence they came.

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Comments

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cigar_nurse's avatar

Babbles take note. Speed wins games now. Not old ass good locker room guys.
Good on ya Helmer.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 11/02/13 at 10:28 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Bachman Turnover not doing well so far.

Posted by calquake on 11/02/13 at 10:28 PM ET

Avatar

What the hell I missed 2 goals while getting my dinner ready

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 11/02/13 at 10:29 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Feed took a shit and I missed both goals.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 10:29 PM ET

shanetx's avatar

Just walked in from work, pulled up a feed and UNASSISTED DARREN HELM GOAL?!?

Tatar immediately after?!  So, so, so happy.

Posted by shanetx from Floydada, Texas on 11/02/13 at 10:30 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

What the hell I missed 2 goals while getting my dinner ready

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 11/02/13 at 10:29 PM ET

Let us know when you’re going for seconds so I don’t look away from the game

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:30 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Just walked in from work, pulled up a feed and UNASSISTED DARREN HELM GOAL?!?

Tatar immediately after?!  So, so, so happy.

Posted by shanetx from Floydada, Texas on 11/02/13 at 10:30 PM ET

Shoulda been Mrzak and Alfie

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:31 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Posted by shanetx from Floydada, Texas on 11/02/13 at 10:30 PM ET

Good feed, eh?!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 11/02/13 at 10:33 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

helm has returned to the lineup.

tater is making a case to stay.

2-0 early.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/02/13 at 10:35 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

2 goals and now they are standing around in the ozone

frustrating

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 10:36 PM ET

calquake's avatar

2 goals and now they are standing around in the ozone

The Commander Cody symdrome.

Posted by calquake on 11/02/13 at 10:36 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Or syndrome.

Posted by calquake on 11/02/13 at 10:37 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

If you aren’t tough enough to be a bully you’re a PUSS

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:39 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Catching up on the paysite.  See you bitches later.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 10:39 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Later Voox.

Posted by calquake on 11/02/13 at 10:40 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Holy hell…the boys are buzzing tonight

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:41 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Yikes! That’s some nasty dental work.

Posted by Down River Dan on 11/02/13 at 10:41 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

This feed is horrible. Game Center.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:42 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Why is Kenny so fond of throwing the jinx on the Wings?

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 10:42 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Bachman Turnover goes into Overdrive.

Posted by calquake on 11/02/13 at 10:42 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

jeebus…my groin hurts….

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 11/02/13 at 10:43 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

This feed is horrible. Game Center.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:42 PM ET

at day.to   the fourth link for the game is pretty good and it’s FSD

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:44 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Love Ozzie calling out Smith the Coyote douchebag fake whore.

Lets Fo Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:45 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Howard City, MI on 11/02/13 at 10:44 PM ET


What he said….Link 4 is Kenny and the Mick Wannabee.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 11/02/13 at 10:45 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

so far,

helm looking A-OK.

... somewhere our Master Chief is smiling.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/02/13 at 10:46 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Why is Kenny so fond of throwing the jinx on the Wings?

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 10:42 PM ET

Don’t know. Keating did it earlier too.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:47 PM ET

Trish's avatar

Evenin Bitches, I’m finally here.  I hear God is back, thank the hockey gods.  How is he lookin? 

And a KetelOne dirty plz, tarbender.

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 11/02/13 at 10:48 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Pavel just schooled some bitch

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/02/13 at 10:48 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 11/02/13 at 10:48 PM ET

Same ole same ole…. goal 5 minutes in…..

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 11/02/13 at 10:50 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Evenin Bitches, I’m finally here.  I hear God is back, thank the hockey gods.  How is he lookin? 

And a KetelOne dirty plz, tarbender.

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 11/02/13 at 10:48 PM ET

First shift lasted about five seconds and ended with a goal on his first shot

I’d say pretty good

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:50 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Lets Fo Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:45 PM ET


Whore iPad.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:52 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Saw the goals.  Type of efforts that should lighten the scowl on Uncle Mike’s face for a few minutes.

God has returned.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 10:52 PM ET

Trish's avatar

Same ole same ole…. goal 5 minutes in…..

Posted by Rumbear

I must be in the wrong LB.  But I like the pretty red & white jerseys/sweaters.

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 11/02/13 at 10:52 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Evenin Bitches, I’m finally here.  I hear God is back, thank the hockey gods.  How is he lookin?

And a KetelOne dirty plz, tarbender.

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 11/02/13 at 10:48 PM ET

He gave us a foal.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:53 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Weird having the cameras behind the benches looking across at the sin bin.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 11/02/13 at 10:54 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Wow   18-9 for faceoffs.  Go wings

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:54 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Weird having the cameras behind the benches looking across at the sin bin.
Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, waiting….. on 11/02/13 at 10:54 PM ET

I was thinking about that earlier, absolutely useless camera angle for all intents and purposes.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 10:55 PM ET

Trish's avatar

How is our young goaltender doin ?

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 11/02/13 at 10:55 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Trying to decide how much of this is the Wings looking good, and how much of this is the Oilers well-documented struggles in their own end.

Posted by Primis on 11/02/13 at 10:55 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Weird having the cameras behind the benches looking across at the sin bin.

welcome to Edmonton

(I’ve always liked the different perspective.)

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/02/13 at 10:56 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com