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Abel to Yzerman

No More Sloppy Seconds, Time To Bury The Oilers Underground

Some amazing things can happen in the space of 60 minutes.  Bob Seger's "Live Bullet" album launched his mainstream career and the Rolling Stones managed to be sober and cohesive long enough to put together their finest work "Exile on Main St.", both clocking in at just over 60.  Even Beethoven's 9th Symphony comes in around the 60 minute mark.  All of them are timeless and seminal efforts.

For some reason our Red Wings just can't put in the effort for a full 60.  As Ken Daniels pointed out yesterday there are Sloppy Seconds. Unfortuantely there are also Taintastic Thirds and Fuch-it Firsts.  For some reason ever since the Sweet Baby Jesus brought Cup #11 to its rightful home in Detroit, the team has stopped playing complete games and started phoning in periods and entire games at a time.

Mule, once hungry for goals, now floats like driftwood for stretches at a time.  Among the 19 this puts him up Shit's Creek with a turd for a paddle, to quote Ween.  Thankfully for some the Mule will not be in the lineup.  According to Malik he is being replaced by the long-awaited return of Mikael Samuelsson.  Wait, I meant Darren Helm whose work as God has been sorely missed around here.

My posting around here has been sporadic but so has my watching of the team.  After more than three years of a self-imposed boycott from the game (Thanks Gary.  Ass) I am slowly getting back into the swing of things.  I've watched two games this week and the Emperor tells me that is two more games than TheLinkGoesHere watches in a typical month, so I feel like I am becoming blog-ready again. 

Around here RedMenace has been showing off in the GDT with fancy tables and graphics and our Command Master Chief has been away on a ship making boys into men.  (Get your mind out of the gutters, perverts).   The juvenile deliciousness we have all come to expect of A2Y has dwindled to a trickle. 

As I get back into the swing of the game and the team, all the old anger is returning.  The vitriol to fuel a thousand angry rants is building up inside me.  The frustrations of Sloppy Seconds and Whiskey Dick power-plays are mounting.  Hopefully, with a bit of time, the three of us at A2Y will be able to match the prolific output of one JJ from Kansas.  Minus the factual analysis and research, of course.

It is time for another Live Blog, bitches.  The bar is open and well stocked so fire up a colortini, sit back, relax, and watch the pictures as they fly through the air.  It's time for the Wings to bury the Oilers deep undergroud into the tar sands whence they came.

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Comments

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Avatar

I want to see that same exact game against the Bruins now.

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 11/02/13 at 11:46 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I just looked out on my deck by the sliding door and there is a 5 inch dead rat lying on the deck. Way to go George!

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 11/02/13 at 11:50 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/03/13 at 12:45 AM ET


Hahahaha true true

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 11/02/13 at 11:51 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I want to see that same exact game against the Bruins now.

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 11/03/13 at 12:46 AM ET

If you decimate the Bruins lineup with injuries and put in a bunch of unproven youngsters like Edmonton has then you just might.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 11/02/13 at 11:53 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Monday bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/03/13 at 12:00 AM ET

VooX's avatar

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 11/03/13 at 12:46 AM ET

The swagger of youth.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/03/13 at 12:03 AM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

Smith looks like an arrogant little prick sitting in the box. Smirking.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/03/13 at 12:37 AM ET

I think that was because they may have put the wrong guy in the box, Quincy is the one who cross checked the guy ... they showed a reply just before showing Smitty’s reaction, I’m wondering if they showed the replay on the in house screen as well .... so maybe he was laughing at that.  I had thought Smitty did a good job on that play and couldn’t believe he was going to the box. 
Well this game was better they at least played most of the game ... so nice seeing wheels back out there.

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michigan hometown of Abdelkader on 11/03/13 at 12:32 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Well, wow!  Just watched the highlights. I realize the Oilers suck, but how sweet to see the Wings score 5 goals!  And god came back and scored immediately!  So cool to see.  Just hope he’s feeling well today and can keep going.

cool smile

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 11/03/13 at 08:11 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Still getting used to the new Division, AND the new playoff structure.

Strong division?  Right Now, prematurely Yes. 

The “Atlantic” Division top 5 teams would fit into the playoffs, and the “Metro” division teams 2 and 3 would only get in because of their division standings.  Atlantic teams top 5 teams right now are the Eastern Conference teams 2 - 6.  wow I didn’t explain that well.  Picture = 10,000 RWBill words.

Wild Card

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 11/03/13 at 11:11 AM ET

dougie's avatar

Depending on whether you believe me or my wife, I either fell asleep, or passed out during the pregame show.

Either way, I had the most wonderful dream, one where God was on skates, in a Wings sweater, leaving rival D-men in his wake, and scoring a goal 10 seconds into his first shift.

I Googled a dream analysis program, and it told me it was symbolic of me needing to get laid more often, or some such shit. Go figure.

Posted by dougie on 11/03/13 at 11:40 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Posted by dougie on 11/03/13 at 11:40 AM ET

LOL

RWBill, you explained it perfectly, but thanks for the image as well.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 11/03/13 at 03:08 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com