Abel to Yzerman
by VooX on 11/02/13 at 08:30 PM ET
Some amazing things can happen in the space of 60 minutes. Bob Seger's "Live Bullet" album launched his mainstream career and the Rolling Stones managed to be sober and cohesive long enough to put together their finest work "Exile on Main St.", both clocking in at just over 60. Even Beethoven's 9th Symphony comes in around the 60 minute mark. All of them are timeless and seminal efforts.
For some reason our Red Wings just can't put in the effort for a full 60. As Ken Daniels pointed out yesterday there are Sloppy Seconds. Unfortuantely there are also Taintastic Thirds and Fuch-it Firsts. For some reason ever since the Sweet Baby Jesus brought Cup #11 to its rightful home in Detroit, the team has stopped playing complete games and started phoning in periods and entire games at a time.
Mule, once hungry for goals, now floats like driftwood for stretches at a time. Among the 19 this puts him up Shit's Creek with a turd for a paddle, to quote Ween. Thankfully for some the Mule will not be in the lineup. According to Malik he is being replaced by the long-awaited return of Mikael Samuelsson. Wait, I meant Darren Helm whose work as God has been sorely missed around here.
My posting around here has been sporadic but so has my watching of the team. After more than three years of a self-imposed boycott from the game (Thanks Gary. Ass) I am slowly getting back into the swing of things. I've watched two games this week and the Emperor tells me that is two more games than TheLinkGoesHere watches in a typical month, so I feel like I am becoming blog-ready again.
Around here RedMenace has been showing off in the GDT with fancy tables and graphics and our Command Master Chief has been away on a ship making boys into men. (Get your mind out of the gutters, perverts). The juvenile deliciousness we have all come to expect of A2Y has dwindled to a trickle.
As I get back into the swing of the game and the team, all the old anger is returning. The vitriol to fuel a thousand angry rants is building up inside me. The frustrations of Sloppy Seconds and Whiskey Dick power-plays are mounting. Hopefully, with a bit of time, the three of us at A2Y will be able to match the prolific output of one JJ from Kansas. Minus the factual analysis and research, of course.
It is time for another Live Blog, bitches. The bar is open and well stocked so fire up a colortini, sit back, relax, and watch the pictures as they fly through the air. It's time for the Wings to bury the Oilers deep undergroud into the tar sands whence they came.
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org