Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

No More Sloppy Seconds, Time To Bury The Oilers Underground

Some amazing things can happen in the space of 60 minutes.  Bob Seger's "Live Bullet" album launched his mainstream career and the Rolling Stones managed to be sober and cohesive long enough to put together their finest work "Exile on Main St.", both clocking in at just over 60.  Even Beethoven's 9th Symphony comes in around the 60 minute mark.  All of them are timeless and seminal efforts.

For some reason our Red Wings just can't put in the effort for a full 60.  As Ken Daniels pointed out yesterday there are Sloppy Seconds. Unfortuantely there are also Taintastic Thirds and Fuch-it Firsts.  For some reason ever since the Sweet Baby Jesus brought Cup #11 to its rightful home in Detroit, the team has stopped playing complete games and started phoning in periods and entire games at a time.

Mule, once hungry for goals, now floats like driftwood for stretches at a time.  Among the 19 this puts him up Shit's Creek with a turd for a paddle, to quote Ween.  Thankfully for some the Mule will not be in the lineup.  According to Malik he is being replaced by the long-awaited return of Mikael Samuelsson.  Wait, I meant Darren Helm whose work as God has been sorely missed around here.

My posting around here has been sporadic but so has my watching of the team.  After more than three years of a self-imposed boycott from the game (Thanks Gary.  Ass) I am slowly getting back into the swing of things.  I've watched two games this week and the Emperor tells me that is two more games than TheLinkGoesHere watches in a typical month, so I feel like I am becoming blog-ready again. 

Around here RedMenace has been showing off in the GDT with fancy tables and graphics and our Command Master Chief has been away on a ship making boys into men.  (Get your mind out of the gutters, perverts).   The juvenile deliciousness we have all come to expect of A2Y has dwindled to a trickle. 

As I get back into the swing of the game and the team, all the old anger is returning.  The vitriol to fuel a thousand angry rants is building up inside me.  The frustrations of Sloppy Seconds and Whiskey Dick power-plays are mounting.  Hopefully, with a bit of time, the three of us at A2Y will be able to match the prolific output of one JJ from Kansas.  Minus the factual analysis and research, of course.

It is time for another Live Blog, bitches.  The bar is open and well stocked so fire up a colortini, sit back, relax, and watch the pictures as they fly through the air.  It's time for the Wings to bury the Oilers deep undergroud into the tar sands whence they came.

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Comments

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Avatar

Smith is just…a snowball, rolling down a snowy mountain. Nothing good happens for him, so he just can’t gain any confidence. He almost can’t handle any situation. He just doesn’t know what to do.

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 11/02/13 at 11:32 PM ET

VooX's avatar

All we are saying is give Smith a chance…

Big Rig had growing pains.  Smith is having his.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 11:33 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Blame that one on Z, he made a boneheaded decision at the blueline that ultimately put Smith in a bad spot

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 11:34 PM ET

Trish's avatar

Smith is just…a snowball, rolling down a snowy mountain. Nothing good happens for him, so he just can’t gain any confidence. He almost can’t handle any situation. He just doesn’t know what to do.

Member how we used to bitch aboot Big Rig.  Took a while, but he finally got better,

Posted by Trish from Tampa/Clearwater FL on 11/02/13 at 11:35 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 11:33 PM ET

my thoughts, also

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/02/13 at 11:35 PM ET

Avatar

Yeah Smith again, but the puck was turned over just inside the o-zone which really shouldn’t be happening when you’re up 3-0

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 11/02/13 at 11:35 PM ET

Bent's avatar

I am not in on the Smith bashing, I don’t usually do that to wings players.  But he is having a pretty bad game tonight on a night when pretty much everyone is having a good game.  It is rough.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 11/02/13 at 11:35 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I managed a lot of my pain with stretching, exercise, and Satirical Sage when necessary.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 11:26 PM ET

I manage my pain with bitching and moaning. grin 

Just kidding. I usually have to rest and use the heating pad + Motrin.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 11:36 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 11/02/13 at 11:35 PM ET

concur

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/02/13 at 11:37 PM ET

Stevis's avatar

Ugh…saw the “3” on the back and almost screamed at the universe.  Not that I want Lashoff injured either, natch.

Posted by Stevis on 11/02/13 at 11:37 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I saw a comic some time ago…showed an army guy sitting in a fox hole getting rained on with a caption “This sucks”  Then it showed a navy guy on a ship in a storm and puking with a caption “This sucks”  It showed a Marine in a jungle getting rained on with the caption “This sucks”

It showed an Air Force guy on a couch with a remote in his hand “WHat? The cable’s out?!?!  This sucks!”

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 11:38 PM ET

VooX's avatar

The VooX triathalon (based upon my hobbies and interests):

FIRST STAGE:
Skydive with weapons loaded.
Points for parachute accuracy at drop zone.

SECOND STAGE (immediately after landing):
IPSC/USPSA shooting event.
Points scored per IPSC/USPSA rules.

THIRD STAGE (right after second stage):
MMA fight with someone in my weight class 3 x 5min rounds.
Judges to decide win/loss if match does not end with a finish.

If anyone can find a skydiving dropzone that will allow this competition to happen (especially the shooting stage), let me know.  I am down like a clown, Charlie Brown for that competition.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 11:38 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Yeah Smith again, but the puck was turned over just inside the o-zone which really shouldn’t be happening when you’re up 3-0

Indeed, I did miss that, had to rewind it to see.  Still don’t think hooking him was the best option he had.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 11/02/13 at 11:38 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Aloha v00x aloha bitches.

Just caught up to the live game. How sweet was it to see Darren Helm on the ice and bury a breakaway! Dude still has great wheels.

Franzen ooot and Helm in?  We gained 10 miles an hour.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 11/02/13 at 11:38 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

“Good play by Quincey”

wtf?!?!?!?

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 11:40 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I usually don’t bash a player during a game but Smith makes it so hard not to at times.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 11:40 PM ET

Trish's avatar

Ozzie talkin more.  I like it.

Posted by Trish from Tampa/Clearwater FL on 11/02/13 at 11:40 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Howard City, MI on 11/02/13 at 11:38 PM ET

Awesome.  Why sleep on the ground when a nice warm bed awaits on the air force base?  Plus the thought of being in the Navy and sleeping on a bunk still warm from the guy who just left is really unappealing.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 11:41 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

“Good play by Quincey”

I heard that!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 11/02/13 at 11:41 PM ET

Avatar

I have this fear that they only look this good because the Oilers are so bad

THIS is Red Wings hockey, right now.

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 11/02/13 at 11:42 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

I usually don’t bash a player during a game but Smith makes it so hard not to at times.

we won’t have our normal LB unless we had someone to gripe aboot

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/02/13 at 11:42 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Anybody watching FSD?  I laugh everytime I see that Arby’s commercial and the bbq guy says “Thats longer than I smoke my meat”

im such a child

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 11:42 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

If anyone can find a skydiving dropzone that will allow this competition to happen (especially the shooting stage), let me know.  I am down like a clown, Charlie Brown for that competition.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 11:38 PM ET

We shoot trap off my back porch all the time as well as competitions with my brothers.  If you can put your parachute into a 100x100 yard you’re welcome to drop in.  Quite literally as it turns out smile

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 11:43 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Howard City, MI on 11/02/13 at 11:43 PM ET


Live skeet!  I’m in!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 11/02/13 at 11:44 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Ozzie has been critical of Smith. He has even called him out for taking a stupid penalty. He did ask if it was o.k. to use the word ” stupid”.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 11:44 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

good chance, Z to 13

Ozzie: “That not right.”

love it

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/02/13 at 11:45 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

The olde “bank it off somebodies rear end” play…...

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 11/02/13 at 11:45 PM ET

Trish's avatar

shooting event.

What kind of gun?  Rifle ?

Just got my Conceal/Carry.  No weapon yet.  Anybody know handguns?

Posted by Trish from Tampa/Clearwater FL on 11/02/13 at 11:45 PM ET

Avatar

Bert would’ve been called for goaltender interference if we scored there.

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 11/02/13 at 11:45 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Shut. Whore. Mouth. Ken!

No jink. No jink. No jink.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 11:46 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Anybody know handguns?

PM me.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 11/02/13 at 11:46 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Plus the thought of being in the Navy and sleeping on a bunk still warm  and sticky   from the guy who just left is really unappealing.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 11:41 PM ET

There it is.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 11/02/13 at 11:47 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Anybody know handguns?

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 11/02/13 at 11:45 PM ET

I have a Smith and Wesson 9mm.  I like it.  Glow in the dark sights on it and it’s really well balanced.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 11:47 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Plus the thought of being in the Navy and sleeping on a bunk still warm  and sticky   from the guy who just left is really unappealing.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 11:41 PM ET

There it is.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 11/02/13 at 11:47 PM ET

Yep…and you KNOW why they have their names stenciled on their back pockets right???

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 11:48 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

“Tries to bank it off somebody’s rear end”

Reminds me of the time I was trying to get sloppy seconds at a gay disco party.

 

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 11/02/13 at 11:48 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

so Shannon saying the Wings are taking advantage of the young bunch, aye?


... interesting

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/02/13 at 11:48 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Howard City, MI on 11/02/13 at 11:43 PM ET

The second time I ever went shooting I went to shoot trap and pigeons with my uncle.  Because of co-dominance of my eyes I was (incorrectly) told to shoot southpaw when I am naturally right hand dominant.  I still did quite well and REALLY loved shooting pigeons as five were out at once.  I would really love to do it on a regular basis but since I’ve been hurt all year and not working I haven’t been able to buy any hardware to do so.

I would love to get some lessons from you, Jeff, always great to learn from someone with experience under their belts.  As far as dropping in goes, the FAA are such buzzkills about randomly dropping in on populated areas without a special exhibition permit.  Fuching communists.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 11:49 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

These announcers are…mediocre.  Anybody ever hear the real story with the departure of Larry Murphy?  Where is he now??

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 11/02/13 at 11:49 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Navy guys only assign. 2 guys to a rack on submarines Vooxie.

These Oilers can use some old farts to teach the Youngins. Tick tock Kenny.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 11/02/13 at 11:50 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

These announcers are…mediocre.  Anybody ever hear the real story with the departure of Larry Murphy?  Where is he now??

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, waiting….. on 11/02/13 at 11:49 PM ET


it’s intermission ... he’s getting more hot dogs for the 3rd.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/02/13 at 11:51 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com