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Abel to Yzerman

Live From BubbaKahn(!)....Surrender To The Stress

If you’d forgotten, now’s the time to recall every bit of it.  Every bone job from Gary’s officials.  Every missed open net. Every center ice goal, good and bad.  Now’s the time to remember the mangled faces, ankles, eyes and the punishment levied on others who deserved it, like Pronger. 

Back into the breach, my friends.  Right back to the place we hate the most.

Yes.  Bubba’s favored. Got it.  But, it’s not about Nashville. Not really.  If the Wings play the way they can, they win.  If they don’t, they lose.  If Nashville plays their best, it won’t matter if Detroit does too.  Wings win.

There is nothing to like about the playoffs. Oh, yes. There are isolated pockets of happiness. But never relief. Not until June, and even then just when you think the ultimate is right…there.  34.7 seconds turns into an absolute eternity.  The only thing one win in the playoffs means, unless it’s #16, is that the stress level will be slightly lower for the next 24 hours.  And a loss is a wrecking ball right to forehead. Again and again and again.  A playoff loss is so indescribably bad.  It’s so bad that when it’s the 4th loss in a series, you almost don’t mind it because it means you won’t have to experience any more of those MOTHERFUCHING losses again for a long, long time.

If you aren’t a Red Wing fan, don’t sit there and nod your head like you know what I’m talking about. None of you do. Because none of you have gone through it every year for 22 consecutive seasons.  Better yet, nobody but us has been through the horrific fiery stress of loving a team that could realistically win it all for 17 consecutive years.

This is the 17th straight postseason that every one of us has known the Wings can win it with a couple bounces, some decent health and a few officials who won’t bend us over more than ten or twelve times.

Nobody can say that. Nobody but us.

But, Holy Hell, with those expectations comes stress and alcoholism, domestic meltdowns, dead pets, fires. We’ve never nailed down the right way to handle these playoffs. Ever.  It’s what makes us, the 19, so damned adorable and special.

So, tonite we begin again.  Underdogs, which is laughable.  It’s funny because all of us have been predicting the worst (including me) because we know that entering this tournament with that frame of mind will make the fall that much easier to handle. That’s a lie, of course. All of it.  We can sit here and type that we think their chances are poor, that Nashville is bigger, more potent on the power play. We can say all that, and we do. But deep down? 

Deep down is where the memories are, memories other fans don’t and never will have.  It’s the Brown goals and Murphy coming off the bench, drunkenly weaving on some sort of pseudo breakaway. It’s Datsyuk scoring and scoring when everyone said he couldn’t get it done in the postseason.  It’s Yzerman, that magnificent steed, carrying a city on one leg…five years after McCarty climbed the boards and shook his fist at you seconds after ending the 42-year drought.  It’s Hasek’s dances and Shanny’s open netter, Hull’s one-timer and Jesus if it isn’t Ozzie doing it twice.  It’s a wheelchair and a slow lap and it’s Scotty on skates.

Who has those memories going for them?  Nashville fans? St. Louis? San Jose?  Who has that legacy?

We do.  And who the hell says it can’t happen again this year if only they play up to the ability they know rests in that room.

And kids?  If you sneak downstairs tonite and your parents look strange, pained, even overly overjoyed?  Mommy and Daddy are alright.  They just seem a little weird. It’s the playoffs.

This is your Game 1, Round 1 Live Blog, bitches.  Screw Bubba. Screw 11 out of 12 ESPN “experts”. Screw Tootoo and no neck and those assplowers Crisp and Weber. Screw those horns and those ugly shitstained uniforms.  If the Wings play the Wing way the Wings win and that’s law. 

16 to 12.

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Comments

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CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Whos this Darren Elliot on the Wings Pre-game?
Posted by WhosDArrenEliot? on 04/11/12 at 07:32 PM ET

The little kid from ET all growed up?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 08:35 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Dishnetwork has the game on CNBC

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/11/12 at 07:12 PM ET

Just for shits and giggles, I looked over on CNBC, and DirecTV has the game scheduled there also. By now, I shouldn’t be surprised at anything this clown college of a league does, but REALLY??? CNBC??

I’m just hoping the game isn’t delayed for a horse race.

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 08:35 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Bartender, I’ll take a warm PBR to get started.
Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from the Big House,January1,2013. on 04/11/12 at 07:35 PM ET

VooX. Paging VooX to the Hasek Club Car!

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 08:36 PM ET

MarkK's avatar

And a loss is a wrecking ball right to forehead.

Related:

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 04/11/12 at 08:36 PM ET

sixgunSal's avatar

Thanks for the link TRYooper smile

Lets Go Wed Wings

Posted by sixgunSal on 04/11/12 at 08:37 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Whos this Darren Elliot on the Wings Pre-game?

Posted by WhosDArrenEliot? on 04/11/12 at 07:32 PM ET

He played goal for the Wings for aboot 2 periods back in the late 80s. Really stunk it up.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/11/12 at 08:38 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I’m just hoping the game isn’t delayed for a horse race.
Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 07:35 PM ET

No but they might cut to Maria Bartiromo for an update on the European Sovereign Debt Crisis.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 08:38 PM ET

dougie's avatar

I just cannot watch a hockey game where I can’t pull for one team or the other just a little bit.

I guess I will read about the Battle of Pennsyltucky, because I can’t watch hockey where I want all players on both teams to die in a fire. In a nice way, of course.

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 08:39 PM ET

Behind_Enemy_Lines's avatar

VooX get in here!! I only ordered a warm PBR because the fridge isn’t on yet. Hurry up man.

Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from Evanston,IL on 04/11/12 at 08:40 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

By now, I shouldn’t be surprised at anything this clown college of a league does, but REALLY??? CNBC??

I’m just hoping the game isn’t delayed for a horse race.

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 07:35 PM ET

A nice big personal FUCH YOU from the Commissioner to Wings fans(like me) that pay for Center Ice.

Thanks Gary. Ass.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/11/12 at 08:41 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

wings game is, the game of the night on sxm.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/11/12 at 08:42 PM ET

Since71's avatar

Switch flipped. LGRW

Posted by Since71 from Bucharest, Romania on 04/11/12 at 08:43 PM ET

YYZerman's avatar

Just got some dinner and was order #16. Let’s go Red Wings

Posted by YYZerman from Detroit, Michigan on 04/11/12 at 08:44 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Switch flipping, swagger, Magic Circuses, but most importantly, WINNING.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/11/12 at 08:46 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Nobody does a Wings per game show like Larry Kudlow.  Fuch that guy knows his shit.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 04/11/12 at 08:46 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I gotta say that there is almost no pleasing you people when it comes to the NHL on TV. CNBC is part of virtually every basic cable plan. I would be shocked if it wasn’t available in twice as many homes as NBCSports (the old versucks) and probaly 100 times more hotels and bars then NBCSports. This, and the fact they are broadcasting every game of every series is real progress.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 08:46 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Just got home, and that’s the first post I’ve ever favorited.

Let’s do this.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/11/12 at 08:46 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Switch flipped. LGRW
Posted by Since71 from Bucharest, Romania on 04/11/12 at 07:43 PM ET

This one?

Photobucket

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 08:47 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Evening, bitches.  What are you drinking?

Sorry for my absence, but I’ve been busier than a two pecked man in a brothel.  Seriously, just beating them
off with my stick.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 04/11/12 at 08:49 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Now, just now, after teasing me all afternoon, Gamecenter live is saying the game is not on because it’s on TV.  DAMN YOU GARY.ASS!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/11/12 at 08:49 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

e52 is on the door of being a top 2 (two) defense man?!! murph hitting the bottle a little early tonight eh?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/11/12 at 08:50 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

I swear I’m not buying Gamecenter next season just to say “Fuch you” to the NHL.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/11/12 at 08:50 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/11/12 at 07:47 PM ET

NEED.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/11/12 at 08:50 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

e52 is on the door of being a top 2 (two) defense man?!! murph hitting the bottle a little early tonight eh?

Hm… he’s been one hell ofa penalty-killer.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/11/12 at 08:51 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 04/11/12 at 07:49 PM ET

Mt. Gay and Coke.

If TDTyler, Andrew and Baroque show up the gang will be all here

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 08:51 PM ET

Behind_Enemy_Lines's avatar

Yes. Bartender, now that the fridge is back on, I shall take a Bombay and tonic. Thanks man, and good to see you back pouring drinks. LGRW

Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from Evanston,IL on 04/11/12 at 08:52 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/11/12 at 07:47 PM ET

Oh Jesus Christ.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/11/12 at 08:52 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/11/12 at 07:47 PM ET

Does the light attached to that switch get brighter the more you play with it?

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 04/11/12 at 08:52 PM ET

dougie's avatar

I gotta say that there is almost no pleasing you people when it comes to the NHL on TV.

How many playoff football, basketball, beisbol games you ever had to watch on CNBC?

That Center Ice package I pay for would be where I would expect to have access to hockey, since I paid hunnerds for it.

Hopefully, they won’t run a stock crawler at the bottom of the screen.

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 08:53 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

Evening, all.  Checking in, but as usual I’ll be on the couch having a nervous breakdown instead of posting. 

Lets Go Red Wings!

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/11/12 at 08:54 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

CNBC.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/11/12 at 08:54 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

i’m in. Got me some pizza and a dirty blonde. Feels like a good way to start the game.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/11/12 at 08:55 PM ET

dougie's avatar

e52 is on the door of being a top 2 (two) defense man?!!

I remember a 3-4 week period recently, where his +/- was zero, better than TPH.

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 08:55 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Does the light attached to that switch get brighter the more you play with it?

Wouldn’t I get electrocuted when it gets wet?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/11/12 at 08:55 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

Hopefully, they won’t run a stock crawler at the bottom of the screen.

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 07:53 PM ET

Haha, I bet they do.

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/11/12 at 08:56 PM ET

Since71's avatar

Hi guys, ready for some hockey?

Posted by Since71 from Bucharest, Romania on 04/11/12 at 08:56 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Posted by Since71 from Bucharest, Romania on 04/11/12 at 07:56 PM ET

What the hell? Quick, post 50 comments so it leaves the page.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/11/12 at 08:57 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

Posted by Since71 from Bucharest, Romania on 04/11/12 at 07:56 PM ET

Sweet mercy WHY would you do that to us?

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/11/12 at 08:57 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Hi guys, ready for some hockey?

Posted by Since71 from Bucharest, Romania on 04/11/12 at 07:56 PM ET

I just stabbed my eyes a thousand times.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/11/12 at 08:58 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Im going go thermonuclear if that stock crawler on CNBC is scrolling during the game.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/11/12 at 08:58 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com