Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Live From BubbaKahn(!)....Surrender To The Stress

If you’d forgotten, now’s the time to recall every bit of it.  Every bone job from Gary’s officials.  Every missed open net. Every center ice goal, good and bad.  Now’s the time to remember the mangled faces, ankles, eyes and the punishment levied on others who deserved it, like Pronger. 

Back into the breach, my friends.  Right back to the place we hate the most.

Yes.  Bubba’s favored. Got it.  But, it’s not about Nashville. Not really.  If the Wings play the way they can, they win.  If they don’t, they lose.  If Nashville plays their best, it won’t matter if Detroit does too.  Wings win.

There is nothing to like about the playoffs. Oh, yes. There are isolated pockets of happiness. But never relief. Not until June, and even then just when you think the ultimate is right…there.  34.7 seconds turns into an absolute eternity.  The only thing one win in the playoffs means, unless it’s #16, is that the stress level will be slightly lower for the next 24 hours.  And a loss is a wrecking ball right to forehead. Again and again and again.  A playoff loss is so indescribably bad.  It’s so bad that when it’s the 4th loss in a series, you almost don’t mind it because it means you won’t have to experience any more of those MOTHERFUCHING losses again for a long, long time.

If you aren’t a Red Wing fan, don’t sit there and nod your head like you know what I’m talking about. None of you do. Because none of you have gone through it every year for 22 consecutive seasons.  Better yet, nobody but us has been through the horrific fiery stress of loving a team that could realistically win it all for 17 consecutive years.

This is the 17th straight postseason that every one of us has known the Wings can win it with a couple bounces, some decent health and a few officials who won’t bend us over more than ten or twelve times.

Nobody can say that. Nobody but us.

But, Holy Hell, with those expectations comes stress and alcoholism, domestic meltdowns, dead pets, fires. We’ve never nailed down the right way to handle these playoffs. Ever.  It’s what makes us, the 19, so damned adorable and special.

So, tonite we begin again.  Underdogs, which is laughable.  It’s funny because all of us have been predicting the worst (including me) because we know that entering this tournament with that frame of mind will make the fall that much easier to handle. That’s a lie, of course. All of it.  We can sit here and type that we think their chances are poor, that Nashville is bigger, more potent on the power play. We can say all that, and we do. But deep down? 

Deep down is where the memories are, memories other fans don’t and never will have.  It’s the Brown goals and Murphy coming off the bench, drunkenly weaving on some sort of pseudo breakaway. It’s Datsyuk scoring and scoring when everyone said he couldn’t get it done in the postseason.  It’s Yzerman, that magnificent steed, carrying a city on one leg…five years after McCarty climbed the boards and shook his fist at you seconds after ending the 42-year drought.  It’s Hasek’s dances and Shanny’s open netter, Hull’s one-timer and Jesus if it isn’t Ozzie doing it twice.  It’s a wheelchair and a slow lap and it’s Scotty on skates.

Who has those memories going for them?  Nashville fans? St. Louis? San Jose?  Who has that legacy?

We do.  And who the hell says it can’t happen again this year if only they play up to the ability they know rests in that room.

And kids?  If you sneak downstairs tonite and your parents look strange, pained, even overly overjoyed?  Mommy and Daddy are alright.  They just seem a little weird. It’s the playoffs.

This is your Game 1, Round 1 Live Blog, bitches.  Screw Bubba. Screw 11 out of 12 ESPN “experts”. Screw Tootoo and no neck and those assplowers Crisp and Weber. Screw those horns and those ugly shitstained uniforms.  If the Wings play the Wing way the Wings win and that’s law. 

16 to 12.

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Comments

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RWBill's avatar

It’s 52^ on my deck and I am out here in a T shirt grilling steaks.  If I didn’t do it tonight I was afraid they would start turning grey and putrid, and what a waste of money that would be.  At least it’s clear and calm, chilly with the sun going down, but very pleasant.

The calm before the RSV.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/11/12 at 08:40 PM ET

Jennemy of the Skate's avatar

Missed you this season Jennemy. Glad you’re here tonite.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/11/12 at 06:33 PM ET

Aw, thanks Kate! I don’t know how much I’ll post tonight… I’ll probably be glued to the teevee and freaking out. But I’ll be around. wink

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 04/11/12 at 08:41 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

You mean this one?
Posted by bezukov from The Darkness with Harkness Redux on 04/11/12 at 06:32 PM ET

Unless my memory is really failing me i remember Brown and Federov on a 2 on 1 against the Caps in game 3 or 4 in Washington. Brown was coming down the left sid and took the pass from Feds on one knee and scored. Or I could have imagined the whole thing

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 08:42 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I’ll probably be glued to the teevee and freaking out. But I’ll be around.

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 04/11/12 at 06:41 PM ET

This.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/11/12 at 08:46 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

NHL.com complied predictions from their staff. http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=626836

Out of 16 people, 14 pick Nashville.

This is uncharted territory for us, 19. We need to be steely, and march onward and upward.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 08:46 PM ET

DetroitHockey's avatar

Unless my memory is really failing me i remember Brown and Federov on a 2 on 1 against the Caps in game 3 or 4 in Washington. Brown was coming down the left sid and took the pass from Feds on one knee and scored. Or I could have imagined the whole thing

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/11/12 at 06:42 PM ET

For the record, I was thinking of one against Phoenix.  Just a sign of how Brownov kicked ass all over the place.

Posted by DetroitHockey on 04/11/12 at 08:49 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

shitstained uniforms

Nashville. Home of the shitstained. The place where some inbred, six-toed, trailer-trash freak with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon, once asked me during a game—“Hay is that ice they playin’ awn down’ere?”

Nashville. Where boys become men by sleeping with someone named “Uncle Grandma” who has three teeth and the kind of bad flatulence that smells like rotting flesh.

Nashville, in short, is not fit for human habitation. Which explains the lack of human habitation and the proliferation of train whistles. Blow that thing Uncle Grandma!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/11/12 at 08:50 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Can’t wait to hear the Too Too Whistle for the next two games. Nothing quite yells “informed hockey fan” like it.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 08:53 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 06:46 PM ET

It’s the NHL. What do you expect?

Who gives a shit what the MSM and the league thinks? It starts with one, and that one is tonight.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/11/12 at 08:54 PM ET

Behind_Enemy_Lines's avatar

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 06:46 PM ET

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzntZLHcYy0

Bubba is like Luke in The Empire Strikes Back. So much hope and potential only to get *#$%@& owned when they find out who their daddy is.

Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from Evanston,IL on 04/11/12 at 08:54 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

So much hope and potential only to get *#$%@& owned when they find out who their daddy is.

If memory serves correctly, we are their fuchin’ daddy, right??

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 08:57 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Thanks, Master, Chief.

inspiration ...

memories ... only Red Wings’ memories!

... let the playoffs begin!

L.G.R.W.

16 to 12 in ‘12

believe

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/11/12 at 09:00 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Wonder if DET will:  (A)  start on time, and (B) play for 60 minutes.

Haven’t seen alot of either all season.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/11/12 at 09:00 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I can’t believe that Gabe hasn’t been in here to post this yet:

A2Y Stress Train!

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 09:02 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Wonder if DET will:  (A)  start on time, and (B) play for 60 minutes.
Haven’t seen alot of either all season.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/11/12 at 07:00 PM ET

No matter what my heart is telling me, my head says unequivocally “NO!” to both (a) and (b)

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 09:04 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

did i hear uncle mike at the afternoon press, dog and pony show correctly, Chris Conner is playing tonight?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/11/12 at 09:05 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/11/12 at 07:04 PM ET

My advice to you is start drinking heavily.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/11/12 at 09:07 PM ET

Behind_Enemy_Lines's avatar

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 06:57 PM ET

Yes. hahaha

Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from Evanston,IL on 04/11/12 at 09:07 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Evening bitches.  Fuching playoffs…

I think I need to go and burn off some energy or something.  Anyone feel like lifting weights?

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/11/12 at 09:08 PM ET

dougie's avatar

So, with the so-called “NBC Sports Network” carrying the Pennsyltucky series, dare I hope that I will get to view this game on FSD??

The Center Ice package has all channels as “to be announced”

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 09:08 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Anyone feel like lifting weights?

Call TD at the Toledo garage.

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 07:08 PM ET

Dishnetwork has the game on CNBC

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/11/12 at 09:12 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

<—- So alive.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 04/11/12 at 09:13 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

FSD FEED

this feed uses VEETLE

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/11/12 at 09:14 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

In a hotel in Jersey with a bunch of suits. I’ll be sucking up to CNBC

Posted by MoreShoot on 04/11/12 at 09:15 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Out of 16 people, 14 pick Nashville.

This is uncharted territory for us, 19. We need to be steely, and march onward and upward.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 06:46 PM ET

Just remember about all the predictions that Phoenix would defeat the Wings last year.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/11/12 at 09:16 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Evenin’ 19.

Half-heartedly making some pasta and drinking heavily…

LGRW!

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 04/11/12 at 09:16 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

CNBC, and FSD for those of us in Michigan

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 09:16 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Does anyone else think of apple crisp when they see Terry Crisp’s head?

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 09:18 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

So, with the so-called “NBC Sports Network” carrying the Pennsyltucky series, dare I hope that I will get to view this game on FSD??

The Center Ice package has all channels as “to be announced”

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 07:08 PM ET

Gamecenter looks like it’s carrying the FSD feed.  Hopefully, your Center Ice will also.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/11/12 at 09:18 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

Just remember about all the predictions that Phoenix would defeat the Wings last year.

And yet all pick the Hawks to walk over the Yotes without Toews.

Posted by MoreShoot on 04/11/12 at 09:19 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

I personally have come a LONG way with Jimmy. A big part of me wants him to be the reason we win the series and see him emerge as a team leader. I like how he’s a nice guy but doesn’t take any shit on the ice.

Posted by MoreShoot on 04/11/12 at 09:24 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Rinne thinks Nashville is on the same level of talent as Detroit.

That better be next to the door in the locker room.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/11/12 at 09:25 PM ET

joedaiceman's avatar

Nobody says it better, Stress train here we come and God, I can’t wait

Posted by joedaiceman on 04/11/12 at 09:25 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Stress train here we come and God, I can’t wait
Posted by joedaiceman on 04/11/12 at 07:25 PM ET

All Aboard!

Photobucket

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 09:28 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

I feel so fuching alive!!!!!!!!

Posted by pgoody on 04/11/12 at 09:31 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Off to watch some Pennsylvania hate on ice. Will be back sporadically.

So, here we go, 19. It all begins now. Stay brave. Stay tough. Most of all: know I love all 19 of you.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 09:32 PM ET

Avatar

Whos this Darren Elliot on the Wings Pre-game?

Posted by WhosDArrenEliot? on 04/11/12 at 09:32 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Evening Bitches.  I heard there’s an ice hockey match tonight.

LGRW

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 04/11/12 at 09:35 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

I personally have come a LONG way with Jimmy. A big part of me wants him to be the reason we win the series and see him emerge as a team leader. I like how he’s a nice guy but doesn’t take any shit on the ice.

Posted by MoreShoot on 04/11/12 at 07:24 PM ET

Oh me too.

Time to go curl up in a corner and start biting my nails.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/11/12 at 09:35 PM ET

Behind_Enemy_Lines's avatar

Now that makes me feel nice and cozy CDP, thanks man. Still smells great in here, hard to find that stale smoke/vomit stank now days. Bartender, I’ll take a warm PBR to get started.

Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from Evanston,IL on 04/11/12 at 09:35 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com