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Abel to Yzerman

Live From BubbaKahn(!)....Surrender To The Stress

If you’d forgotten, now’s the time to recall every bit of it.  Every bone job from Gary’s officials.  Every missed open net. Every center ice goal, good and bad.  Now’s the time to remember the mangled faces, ankles, eyes and the punishment levied on others who deserved it, like Pronger. 

Back into the breach, my friends.  Right back to the place we hate the most.

Yes.  Bubba’s favored. Got it.  But, it’s not about Nashville. Not really.  If the Wings play the way they can, they win.  If they don’t, they lose.  If Nashville plays their best, it won’t matter if Detroit does too.  Wings win.

There is nothing to like about the playoffs. Oh, yes. There are isolated pockets of happiness. But never relief. Not until June, and even then just when you think the ultimate is right…there.  34.7 seconds turns into an absolute eternity.  The only thing one win in the playoffs means, unless it’s #16, is that the stress level will be slightly lower for the next 24 hours.  And a loss is a wrecking ball right to forehead. Again and again and again.  A playoff loss is so indescribably bad.  It’s so bad that when it’s the 4th loss in a series, you almost don’t mind it because it means you won’t have to experience any more of those MOTHERFUCHING losses again for a long, long time.

If you aren’t a Red Wing fan, don’t sit there and nod your head like you know what I’m talking about. None of you do. Because none of you have gone through it every year for 22 consecutive seasons.  Better yet, nobody but us has been through the horrific fiery stress of loving a team that could realistically win it all for 17 consecutive years.

This is the 17th straight postseason that every one of us has known the Wings can win it with a couple bounces, some decent health and a few officials who won’t bend us over more than ten or twelve times.

Nobody can say that. Nobody but us.

But, Holy Hell, with those expectations comes stress and alcoholism, domestic meltdowns, dead pets, fires. We’ve never nailed down the right way to handle these playoffs. Ever.  It’s what makes us, the 19, so damned adorable and special.

So, tonite we begin again.  Underdogs, which is laughable.  It’s funny because all of us have been predicting the worst (including me) because we know that entering this tournament with that frame of mind will make the fall that much easier to handle. That’s a lie, of course. All of it.  We can sit here and type that we think their chances are poor, that Nashville is bigger, more potent on the power play. We can say all that, and we do. But deep down? 

Deep down is where the memories are, memories other fans don’t and never will have.  It’s the Brown goals and Murphy coming off the bench, drunkenly weaving on some sort of pseudo breakaway. It’s Datsyuk scoring and scoring when everyone said he couldn’t get it done in the postseason.  It’s Yzerman, that magnificent steed, carrying a city on one leg…five years after McCarty climbed the boards and shook his fist at you seconds after ending the 42-year drought.  It’s Hasek’s dances and Shanny’s open netter, Hull’s one-timer and Jesus if it isn’t Ozzie doing it twice.  It’s a wheelchair and a slow lap and it’s Scotty on skates.

Who has those memories going for them?  Nashville fans? St. Louis? San Jose?  Who has that legacy?

We do.  And who the hell says it can’t happen again this year if only they play up to the ability they know rests in that room.

And kids?  If you sneak downstairs tonite and your parents look strange, pained, even overly overjoyed?  Mommy and Daddy are alright.  They just seem a little weird. It’s the playoffs.

This is your Game 1, Round 1 Live Blog, bitches.  Screw Bubba. Screw 11 out of 12 ESPN “experts”. Screw Tootoo and no neck and those assplowers Crisp and Weber. Screw those horns and those ugly shitstained uniforms.  If the Wings play the Wing way the Wings win and that’s law. 

16 to 12.

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Comments

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dougie's avatar

Fuchin’ Ericsson.

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 07:03 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

  The only thing one win in the playoffs means, unless it’s #16, is that the stress level will be slightly lower for the next 24 hours.  And a loss is a wrecking ball right to forehead. Again and again and again.  A playoff loss is so indescribably bad.  It’s so bad that when it’s the 4th loss in a series, you almost don’t mind it because it means you won’t have to experience any more of those MOTHERFUCHING losses again for a long, long time.

It’s as if you’re in my very soul.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/11/12 at 07:06 PM ET

dougie's avatar

RWBill, can’t seem to find your email on this site.
Can you hit me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)?

Posted by dougie on 04/11/12 at 07:09 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Have we ever had Cheap Trick as our motivation on a playoff blog before? Not that I remember.

But how the hell can we go wrong now??? Long live Trick!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sAm5UCJ9vA

”...but when I woke up, Mom and Dad
Are rolling on the couch
Rolling numbers, rock and rollin’
Got my KISS records out!”

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 07:12 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I’ll let Mickey do the talking.  LGRW!

Go back to bangin’ your cousin bubba.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/11/12 at 07:13 PM ET

Chris in Hockey Hell's avatar

Screw Tootoo and no neck and those assplowers Crisp and Weber. Screw those horns and those ugly shitstained uniforms

My eyes just teared up.

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from Ann Arbor, MI but LIVING in Columbia, TN on 04/11/12 at 07:17 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

You are tapping into and unlocking that intentionally suppressed, unwanted but ever-present optimism that being a disciple of The Greatest Franchise in professional sports brings with it.

And I H8 U 4 it.  I want to pretend not to be disappointed if they lose, even though inside I always believe they will find a way to win, because they are The Detroit Red Wings.

So go ahead, punch me straight in the chest, make me be a man and admit who I am inside.  This is no place for a nervous person.  Or a coward.

Full Speed Ahead!  12 in 12, bitches.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/11/12 at 07:18 PM ET

SYF's avatar

If the Wings play the Wing way the Wings win and that’s law.

It’s not “if” anymore for me, Master Chief.  It’s “when.”

“Into the breech,” you say?  I’m all in.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/11/12 at 07:19 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

That’s right, Chief. Every word.

And they’re saying on Twitter that Gary.Ass is attending our game. Make him cry, boys!

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/11/12 at 07:19 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Mommy’s alright. Daddy’s alright.  They just seem a little weird.  Surrender. Surrender.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/11/12 at 07:20 PM ET

Chris in Hockey Hell's avatar

I posted this on the “I got your gospel” thread”

Dirk used to be a Wing fan. He’s from Michigan. Then he moved to Nashville and decided the Wings weren’t for him anymore.  Ha. We love guys like that. Now he hates the Wings (and us here at A2Y…check out the sidebar) as much as he loves his little Predators.

This paragraph is precisely why I couldn’t be a Nashville fan and why I call this Hockey Hell. I remember back before the Predators even existed when they had all the “Name the Team” and “Season Ticket Drive” parties at the arena here. There was 90% Red Wings fans at these events. My dad actually got us a pair of full-season season tickets for the first two seasons the Predators were in existence. The first few Detroit/Nashville games? 75/25 Wings fans. Then, slowly but surely, I started to hear the term “Pred Wing”. This is a fan that either cheered for the Wings and then decided to change to cheering for Nashville or roots for Detroit except for when they play Nashville. To that, I called “bullshit”. There is no such thing as a Pred Wing. If you changed alliances just because of the city you live in, you were NEVER a Wings fan. With all the technology today, there’s no reason to change sports alliances. If it weren’t for the Wings fans in this area, there would be no team here and all these “fans” know it, but won’t admit it. You can tell they’re trying to be just like Detroit by ripping off certain things from the Wings. Throwing catfish?  Calling Nashville “Smashville” or “Hockeytonk” (UGH!)? All the chants from Section 303 I used to hear at Yost as a kid watching the Wolverines kick CCHA ass. This city has such an inferiority complex when it comes to its hockey team that it’s sad. They hate us, but want to be us so bad.

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from Ann Arbor, MI but LIVING in Columbia, TN on 04/11/12 at 07:22 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

I keep telling myself DET are the underdog.  They played like crap down the stretch, they suck on the road, and their special teams are a joke.  One and done.  No way DET beats NSH, none.

I’m not sure it is working.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/11/12 at 07:22 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Gary.Ass is attending our game. Make him cry, boys!
LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!
Posted by MsRedWinger from Michigan, now in Flori-duh on 04/11/12 at 05:19 PM ET

The fix is in, as if we didn’t already know it.  Gary wants to be recognized for creating that little temporary pocket of hockey interest through his multi-year effort of scheduling countless Saturday night, fresh legged games against Detroit on a back-to-back. 

F him.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/11/12 at 07:27 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Deep down is where the memories are, memories other fans don’t and never will have.  It’s the Brown goals and Murphy coming off the bench, drunkenly weaving on some sort of pseudo breakaway

Chief, here is a Brownov goal just for you. Dougie was one of my favorites. I couldn’t find a vid of the goal he scored in 98 on one knee. And he’s married to one of the NY Football Giants Mara family. Lucky SOB

Detroit Red Wings Doug Brown ties game at 4 June 11 1998 Stanley Cup Game 2 vs Washington Capitals

 

AND THIS WILL GET EVERYONE (including Eeyore) fired up for a long Red Wings playoff run:Detroit Red Wings Game Winning Goals 1998 Playoffs

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 07:31 PM ET

Chris in Hockey Hell's avatar

Gary wants to be recognized for creating that little temporary pocket of hockey interest through his multi-year effort of scheduling countless Saturday night, fresh legged games against Detroit on a back-to-back.

I’m so glad that I’m not the only person who noticed this.

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from Ann Arbor, MI but LIVING in Columbia, TN on 04/11/12 at 07:31 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I keep telling myself DET are the underdog.  They played like crap down the stretch, they suck on the road, and their special teams are a joke.  One and done.  No way DET beats NSH, none.
I’m not sure it is working.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/11/12 at 05:22 PM ET

Hey, I resemble that remark.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 07:31 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

No sacrificing animals for The Cause this year for me, I guess.

The animal control officer just stopped by and read me the riot act. He reminded me that the sight of naked cats walking down the street between April 11 and June 15 will automatically lead to my being guilty until proven innocent.

He reminded me that torching the neighbor’s dog before any overtime will result in more than just a slap on the hand this time.

He stressed that drunk texting former girlfriends and asking them to perform lewd sex acts on horses to appease the hockey gods will be frowned upon by both the city police and animal control.

You gotta’ pick up the slack, 19. Gary’s even got local enforcement in his back pocket, and they’re coming for all of us…one at a time.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 07:32 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

AND THIS WILL GET EVERYONE (including Eeyore) fired up for a long Red Wings playoff run:

Sadly no. I am fired up and I predicted a win.  But, seeing that masterpiece of a team creates a contrast that I don’t want to think about right now.

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/11/12 at 08:01 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

Let’s hope that Helmer is ‘danger’ once more—Hal Gill is not fleet enough of foot to escape—and that Cleary is channeling his inner Gilchrist.

Let’s bring it.

Posted by MoreShoot on 04/11/12 at 08:02 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Hey Nashville,

Get the fuch out of the way.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/11/12 at 08:03 PM ET

Behind_Enemy_Lines's avatar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff8oKFla7cg

Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from the Big House,January1,2013. on 04/11/12 at 08:09 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from the Big House,January1,2013. on 04/11/12 at 06:09 PM ET

Thanks for posting that, BEL. And condolonces on the loss of your father.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 08:14 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

I want Helm to make Suter’s and Weber’s lives miserable tonight.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 08:16 PM ET

Behind_Enemy_Lines's avatar

Thanks CDP. LGRW.

Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from the Big House,January1,2013. on 04/11/12 at 08:17 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

This is your Game 1, Round 1 Live Blog, bitches.

A First Round with more Rounds to come, Evenin’ Bitches. Master Chief, thank you for being.

At my house, The Detroit Red Wings in the Playoffs is like Christmas. Every single game.

12 in’12 Bitches. 12 in’12.

Let’s Roll!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/11/12 at 08:19 PM ET

Jennemy of the Skate's avatar

Chief… you’ve said it all far better than I could say it. So I’ll just say Let’s GO Red Wings!!!

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 04/11/12 at 08:20 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff8oKFla7cg

Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from the Big House,January1,2013. on 04/11/12 at 06:09 PM ET

Are we the luckiest fan-base in sports?

Pretty sure we are.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 08:26 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 04/11/12 at 06:20 PM ET

Jennemy, long time no see, you still reffing roller derby?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 08:26 PM ET

DetroitHockey's avatar

I couldn’t find a vid of the goal he scored in 98 on one knee.

“Score!  Oh, baby, you’re gonna see that one again!  Dougie Brown has made the highlight clips forever!  2-1, Detroit.”

Posted by DetroitHockey on 04/11/12 at 08:26 PM ET

Paul's avatar

Can I step in for a minute?

Just wanted to update folks on some changes.

Server issues are being tweaked as we speak and things should be fine tuned by game 2.

When numerous comments come in at the same time, I’ve been archiving them in order to take the burden off the server, that two will be gone by game 2.

For those of you participating in the no ads, look for that either during the game or for sure (thanks Homer) tomorrow.

So you may see some stuff going on tonight, but rest assured, I am following, tweaking as you folks are refreshing and commenting and we are close to being where we once were.

Enjoy the game and look for some Pavel magic tonight.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 04/11/12 at 08:28 PM ET

Jennemy of the Skate's avatar

Jennemy, long time no see, you still reffing roller derby?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/11/12 at 06:26 PM ET

Hey there! Yes I am. Which is one of the many reasons (derby/work/etc/etc/etc) I haven’t been around much. I probably will only be here intermittently but I needed to check in on my playoffs support group. Only the 19 know the stress that this is.

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 04/11/12 at 08:31 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Enjoy the game and look for some Pavel magic tonight.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 04/11/12 at 06:28 PM ET

Thank you Paul, for everything. Especially for the best omen.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/11/12 at 08:31 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

“Score!  Oh, baby, you’re gonna see that one again!  Dougie Brown has made the highlight clips forever!  2-1, Detroit.”

Posted by DetroitHockey on 04/11/12 at 06:26 PM ET

You mean this one?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/11/12 at 08:32 PM ET

Brooklyn Deuce's avatar

Ever since my beloved Saints won I told myself I would never feel that need and hunger to see a team I love win it all again. After all, I have been fortunate enough to see all my favorites win a title.

And then the NHL playoffs start and every year the Detroit Red Wings look like a contender. And I can’t not want them to win it all. Every loss a loss of limb, every victory like losing your virginity.

L.G.R.W.!!!!

Posted by Brooklyn Deuce from Fauborg Marigny on 04/11/12 at 08:32 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Missed you this season Jennemy. Glad you’re here tonite.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/11/12 at 08:33 PM ET

Avatar

The pressure is all on Nashville.  This team is built to win NOW, if they don’t you will see players and fans abandoning the wagon faster than they climbed aboard.

When the Wings beat this team, it puts the dagger in the heart of not just Nashville fans, it also rams a big one up the ass of Bettman, who has bankrolled this team, committed collusion numerous times to keep it in Nashville while the money making teams like the Wings had to pay revenue sharing to this club.

Suter, Weber, Radulov will leave this team and it will fall into the depths that it came from.  One chance to avenge all the crap calls, the back to backs that end in Nashville, all the stupid chants, all their fans crap we endure in that Trailer Park called Bridgestone Arena, or is it Sommet, or is it Gaylord, or whatever it is this week when another business goes bankrupt.

Call me a hater, or whatever, just add WINGS FAN FOR LIFE to the end of it.

Posted by Jim P from Nashville on 04/11/12 at 08:34 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Good grief, I wait all year for the playoffs to start - - and can’t stand it when they do.

Thanks Paul.

Glad the gang is all here.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/11/12 at 08:36 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Paul is a Tweaker!

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/11/12 at 08:37 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I just finished watching/listening to a four part highlight package (about 40 min total) of game 2 of the 98 Final. THE Comeback Game.

Goosebumps [X]

Fired up for the playoffs {x}

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/11/12 at 08:39 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Good grief, I wait all year for the playoffs to start - - and can’t stand it when they do.


Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/11/12 at 06:36 PM ET

No shite, same here.

I get so damn nervous during games, it makes me wonder how in hell the players do what they do.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/11/12 at 08:40 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com