Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Lidstrom Screwed By Stats And Stupidity

I officially discovered that the Professional Hockey Writers Association are a bunch of clowns today, via the Emperor and Khan(!)

Luminary minds at the PHWA, like Greg Wyshynski and Adrian Dater, announced this season’s Norris trophy finalists:

Chicago’s Duncan Keith, Washington’s Mike Green and Los Angeles’ Drew Doughty were named Friday as the finalists for the awarded presented to the NHL’s top defenseman.

Wait.  What?

You’re telling me that the “great”, “professional” hockey journalists at the PHWA decided Nick Lidstrom, The Perfect Human, wasn’t a Norris finalist?  Utter nonsense.  A room full of monkey at desks masturbating on typewriters would have done a better job at awarding this year’s Norris Trophy.

It is just the second time in 12 seasons that Lidstrom, a six-time Norris winner, hasn’t been a finalist. He finished ninth in scoring among defensemen with 49 points (nine goals, 40 assists).

Those bitches can suck it.  While Lidstrom may not deserve to win the Norris this season, he deserves to be a finalist.  No fauxing doubt about it.

By not voting for Lidstrom in a higher position, the pro hockey writers prove that they don’t watch hockey at all.  They put their blind faith in something far less useful.

 

 

The finalists were the three-highest scoring defensemen in the league. Green led the way with 76 points (19 goals, 57 assists), followed by Keith (14-55—69) and Doughty (16-43—59).

Stats.  The pro hockey writers use stats as a crutch to replace actually watching lots of hockey.  It is now official.  The Norris Trophy will be the equivalent of the Art Ross Trophy for defenceman.

It doesn’t matter that today we can DVR any game to watch the next day.  It doesn’t matter that most games are broadcast widescreen so you can actually watch defenceman away from the puck thwart the offense.  None of that matters to pro hockey writers.  They have made it perfectly clear that they will let stats fuel their hockey ignorance from now on.  They can all kiss my ass.

I asked Puck Daddy to send me his autograph on a large piece of aluminum foil as I wanted to make another tin-foil hat.  He obliged.  It was cute he used hearts to dot all his i’s.  On the same piece of aluminum foil he listed his Norris Trophy picks:

1. Drew Doughty, Los Angeles Kings
2. Mike Green, Washington Capitals
3. Duncan Keith, Chicago Blackhawks
4. Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit Red Wings
5. Chris Pronger, Philadelphia Flyers

Great job, Greg, you’ve made 3 terrible decisions in only 5 choices.  You fail.

There is no way Lidstrom is only the fourth best defenceman this season.  Stats have blinded you like chronic masturbation did in your teenage years. 

This year’s Olympic hockey tournament proved a couple of things.  The greatest hockey minds in Canada, including Steve Yzerman, all agreed that Mike Green was a defensive liability not worth the risk of having on an Olympic roster despite his huge offensive numbers.  Also, Chris Pronger is completely out of place in today’s game.  The best decision Babcock made during the Olympics was to bench Pronger. 

The Sasquatch does not think or skate well, he is a throwback to the clutch-and-grab years of hockey.  Pronger only commits stupid and violent penalties when on the ice today.  That he is Puck Daddy’s fifth-best choice for the Norris Trophy shows what a joke Greg really is.  Which is why he fits in so nicely among the other drooling idiots of the PHWA.

I’m so glad I’m only a faux journalist.  I’d hate to be forced to stop watching hockey to do my job.

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Comments

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J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Bruce MacLeod, The Macomb Daily.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/23/10 at 04:46 PM ET

Bwahaha!  Well that would make my job easy if he’s done it again this year.  Most of the work of proving that guy’s an idiot is already done for me.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/23/10 at 06:49 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Feeding these trolls is like picking at a scab, once you start you can’t stop ‘til it’s a scar.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/23/10 at 06:50 PM ET

lordhogie's avatar

If anyone was curious, Adam Proteau at THN actually published the way he votes and gives the reasons why. I wish more writers could do the same.

BTW, he had Lidstrom at #2.

Posted by lordhogie from Calgary on 04/23/10 at 06:54 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Posted by lordhogie from Edmonton on 04/23/10 at 04:54 PM ET

Figures a guy with solid reasoning skills would actually post his reasons.  I don’t agree with all of his selections, but I at least understand why he made them.  Great find, lordhogie.

(BTW, this part almost cracked me up, considering the Selke back-and-forth about Datsyuk and Staal “The Selke isn’t about how many defensive takeaways an NHLer has nor is it presented to the guy who plays the most minutes on the penalty kill.”  ... it’s like he… reads our minds, maaaaan)

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/23/10 at 07:00 PM ET

Flashtastick56's avatar

No way Green should be on that ballot.  He’s terrible defensively.

It should be Keith, Doughty, Lidstrom. with Keith or Doughty winning because Lidstrom had a “down year” offensively thus becoming a casualty to his own greatness.

Posted by Flashtastick56 from Meriden, CT on 04/23/10 at 07:00 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Feeding these trolls is like picking at a scab, once you start you can’t stop ‘til it’s a scar.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 04/23/10

Yeah, but it’s a game day and a game 5 day at that. What do expect us to do? Work?  LOL

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 07:03 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

What do expect us to do? Work? 
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/23/10 at 05:03 PM ET

Sure, I’m working with a beer on my desk.  wink
Just one though, batting practice and all at 6.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/23/10 at 07:11 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

No way Green should be on that ballot.  He’s terrible defensively.
...
Posted by Flashtastick56 from Milford, CT on 04/23/10 at 05:00 PM

Very true. (Look out JRock, here comes logic via a syllogism) The Norris trophy is given to the defenseman displaying the most offensive skill. Green is worthy of a Norris nomination. Therefore, Brian Campbell is also worthy of a Norris Trophy nomination.

Wait. There is something obviously wrong with that conclusion; Brian Green is not a Norris quality defenseman. But Green and Campbell are very similar players who play the same type of game and have the same flaws and assets in their games.

There must be a problem in the first premise of the argument. Here is the official criteria of the Norris Trophy: It is awarded annually to the NHL’s top “defense player who demonstrates throughout the season the greatest all-round ability in the position”.

Hmmm…. All-around ability. That means not just scoring, but playing defense as well.

Here is the syllogism I was looking for:

Brian Campbell is a one dimensional player who lacks defensive skills and because of this is not nominated for the Norris Trophy.
Mike Green is a one dimensional player like Brian Campbell.
Therefore, Mike Green should not be nominated for the Norris Trophy as the NHL’s best all-around defenseman

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 07:33 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Is anyone really surprised about this?  It’s disgusting yes, but not surprising to me at all.  You had to expect Doughty to be in there with the breakout season he’s had, and Keith as well.  Then to top it off you know the whole city of DC would implode of Mr. Defense himself Mike Green wasn’t in there, so there you have it.  Is it right?  Not in the slightest.  But oh well - let me know when any of these guys have half the Norris trophies Nick does.

I never thought I’d say this, but I am GLAD the game is on VS tonight.  I would have had to watch on mute to not listen to the Coyotes announcers on the local AZ broadcast.  I’m strangely not nervous, I have no idea why.

Anyone know where the Chief has disappeared to?

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 04/23/10 at 07:38 PM ET

Trish's avatar

Don’t have stats like U guys - I just want TPH playing D when we really cannot afford to give up a goal / he’s been superhuman for years.  We have actually have seen a couple uncharacteristic errors / chinks in the armor this year but he is still Mr SOLID back there & there is no Dman I trust more than Nik.

Got back to hotel for start of the 2nd period last Fri and totally missed game Sun due to that work stuff.  Watched full game Tues, therefore I conclude that my team fares better when I’m paying attention.  Better believe I’m watching 2nite, even versucks, martini in hand . . . .

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 04/23/10 at 07:38 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

If this blog site is full of amateurs why do so many fuchin trolls flock to us

Posted by pgoody on 04/23/10 at 07:41 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

By the way whoever posted that Intent to Blow article about the Devils not playing defense - brilliant.  I would have thought it came straight from The Onion.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 04/23/10 at 07:41 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Anyone know where the Chief has disappeared to?
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 04/23/10

Has RumBear been able to bail him out of the Tijuana jail?
wink

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 07:44 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

I forgot why I don’t come here anymore, now I remember that it’s polluted with all Detroit fans who circle jerk between each other over the 2% of other fans who even care to stop by.

Posted by Ben on 04/23/10 at 04:04 PM ET

Its called ABEL 2 YZERMAN you troglodyte…

We got some real Columbo’s tonight…

Anyway we have gone way further than just circle jerks…

Posted by pgoody on 04/23/10 at 07:48 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

Is anyone really surprised about this?

Not surprised at all…

In fact…......

I won’t even be surprised when little gary suspends Lidstrom 13 hrs before the awards ceremony because he forgot to tell him his presence was required.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 04/23/10 at 08:06 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Just one though, batting practice and all at 6.

Professionalism. Dedication.  That’s why I come here.

Has RumBear been able to bail him out of the Tijuana jail?

El checko del bounceoh.  No abogado for you!

Capt…recall the RT discussion?  Anybody heard from Gabe?  I’m just saying…..

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 04/23/10 at 08:13 PM ET

Avatar

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH our captain isn’t nominated for the Norris for the 17 millionth season WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

WAAAAH Crosby scored a Golden Goal for the ages but he sucks and is a crybaby WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

WAAAAAAAAAH the Penguins beat us in the Finals and we blew a 2-0 series lead WAAAAAAAAAH!

Posted by LGP8771 on 04/23/10 at 08:14 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

A2Y.  One-stop shopping.  Syllogisms, hockey and on-liners all under one roof.  Thinking how cool the name Kierkegaard would look on the back of my next Red Wings jersey.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/23/10 at 08:15 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Posted by LGP8771 on 04/23/10 at 06:14 PM ET

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/23/10 at 08:16 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Kierkegaard

Jeebus, he got a nod for the Norris too?

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 04/23/10 at 08:18 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

the pro hockey writers prove that they don’t watch hockey at all.  They put their blind faith in something far less useful.
The finalists were the three-highest scoring defensemen in the league. Green led the way with 76 points (19 goals, 57 assists), followed by Keith (14-55—69) and Doughty (16-43—59).
Stats.  The pro hockey writers use stats as a crutch to replace actually watching lots of hockey.
posted by v00x! (woot!)

This is what I refer to as “box score analysis” that we only occasionally see on The Hasek.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/23/10 at 08:24 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Kierkegaard
Jeebus, he got a nod for the Norris too?
Posted by Rumbear from Top-O-The Hasek, hitting golfballs

His Norris nomination was a truth that was true for him. Alas, even such a prestigious nomination did not help alleviate his feeling of the apparent meaninglessness of life.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 08:28 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/23/10 at 06:28 PM ET

Hey, it’s the 3 o’clock hour, aren’t you supposed to be catching up on legal work?

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/23/10 at 08:30 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Has RumBear been able to bail him out of the Tijuana jail?


Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/23/10 at 05:44 PM ET

From what it looks like, I’m worried he is stranded somewhere way worse than TJ…

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 04/23/10 at 08:30 PM ET

monkey's avatar

A room full of monkey at desks masturbating on typewriters

I thought that’s what garbage cans were for.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 08:32 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Thinking how cool the name Kierkegaard would look on the back of my next Red Wings jersey.
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon

Since the Wings have no Danes on the roster, but lots of Swedes, I would go with Torbjörn Tännsjö

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 08:33 PM ET

monkey's avatar

From what it looks like, I’m worried he is stranded somewhere way worse than TJ…

Yeah, man, the *#$%@& navy.  He did it to himself…

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 08:35 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Hey, it’s the 3 o’clock hour, aren’t you supposed to be catching up on legal work?
Posted by RWBill


Busted. Bye…

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 08:35 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

The extra day threw off our hockey biorhythms and we experienced the frivolity (I’m getting more gay every day) and humor with which the The Hasek is so well blessed.

Thank goodness for 105 messages of piss and vinegar today, we have a Freaking Playoff Game 5 tonight, time to get back to manic depressive bipolar paranoia.  It’s still 3 hours away, I’ll have to fight to be back on the rebound by then, first IPA already in hand.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/23/10 at 08:36 PM ET

monkey's avatar

(I’m getting more gay every day)

Dude, one plus infinity is infinity.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 08:36 PM ET

Twig in Houston's avatar

wait, wait, wait…

zetterberg can only shut down rosby because he has lidstrom back there.

but now lidstrom isn’t that good?

so… zetterberg does own rosby?

can i please get a copy of this weeks memo?

Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 04/23/10 at 08:37 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by monkey from bat country on 04/23/10 at 06:35 PM ET

Should I move your A2Y Map icon out to north of Baker somewhere? 

I have moved Chief’s into the San Diego naval yard from Virginia.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/23/10 at 08:39 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Should I move your A2Y Map icon out to north of Baker somewhere?

No, man, I haven’t gone anywhere.  Physically anyway.  Just remember what the dormouse said…

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 08:43 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

I have moved Chief’s into the San Diego naval yard from Virginia.

Big frickin anchor sittin on top of us locals…..maybe move it south to TJ.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 04/23/10 at 08:43 PM ET

Twig in Houston's avatar

if the cup was awarded to the team with the best stats, the sharks would be a dynasty. rofl

Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 04/23/10 at 08:44 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Posted by LGP8771 on 04/23/10 at 06:14 PM ET

and there goes another one…it’s like watching planes come and go at a busy airport…give it a minute and there’ll be another one

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/23/10 at 08:45 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Paul is torturing me.  These keep popping up in the upper right hand corner of A2Y.

First this,

then this,

Am I supposed to masturbate into a trash can?  What happened to the classic sock?

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/23/10 at 08:46 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Seiously, though, Mike Green is an offensive specialist on the back end who rarely gets matched against the other team’s top players. 

Where do I go to see PK TOI?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 08:46 PM ET

Twig in Houston's avatar

Where do I go to see PK TOI?

Posted by monkey from bat country on 04/23/10 at 06:46 PM ET

page 2 i think. captaindennis posted it i think.

Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 04/23/10 at 08:48 PM ET

Avatar

I didn’t expect Lidstrom to be a finalist…so I’m not angry.

Even if you watch Lidstrom, it’s hard to see why he’s so good. So I don’t expect the media to see it in a down year.

Posted by Tyler from Arizona on 04/23/10 at 08:51 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com