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Abel to Yzerman

Lidstrom Screwed By Stats And Stupidity

I officially discovered that the Professional Hockey Writers Association are a bunch of clowns today, via the Emperor and Khan(!)

Luminary minds at the PHWA, like Greg Wyshynski and Adrian Dater, announced this season’s Norris trophy finalists:

Chicago’s Duncan Keith, Washington’s Mike Green and Los Angeles’ Drew Doughty were named Friday as the finalists for the awarded presented to the NHL’s top defenseman.

Wait.  What?

You’re telling me that the “great”, “professional” hockey journalists at the PHWA decided Nick Lidstrom, The Perfect Human, wasn’t a Norris finalist?  Utter nonsense.  A room full of monkey at desks masturbating on typewriters would have done a better job at awarding this year’s Norris Trophy.

It is just the second time in 12 seasons that Lidstrom, a six-time Norris winner, hasn’t been a finalist. He finished ninth in scoring among defensemen with 49 points (nine goals, 40 assists).

Those bitches can suck it.  While Lidstrom may not deserve to win the Norris this season, he deserves to be a finalist.  No fauxing doubt about it.

By not voting for Lidstrom in a higher position, the pro hockey writers prove that they don’t watch hockey at all.  They put their blind faith in something far less useful.

 

 

The finalists were the three-highest scoring defensemen in the league. Green led the way with 76 points (19 goals, 57 assists), followed by Keith (14-55—69) and Doughty (16-43—59).

Stats.  The pro hockey writers use stats as a crutch to replace actually watching lots of hockey.  It is now official.  The Norris Trophy will be the equivalent of the Art Ross Trophy for defenceman.

It doesn’t matter that today we can DVR any game to watch the next day.  It doesn’t matter that most games are broadcast widescreen so you can actually watch defenceman away from the puck thwart the offense.  None of that matters to pro hockey writers.  They have made it perfectly clear that they will let stats fuel their hockey ignorance from now on.  They can all kiss my ass.

I asked Puck Daddy to send me his autograph on a large piece of aluminum foil as I wanted to make another tin-foil hat.  He obliged.  It was cute he used hearts to dot all his i’s.  On the same piece of aluminum foil he listed his Norris Trophy picks:

1. Drew Doughty, Los Angeles Kings
2. Mike Green, Washington Capitals
3. Duncan Keith, Chicago Blackhawks
4. Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit Red Wings
5. Chris Pronger, Philadelphia Flyers

Great job, Greg, you’ve made 3 terrible decisions in only 5 choices.  You fail.

There is no way Lidstrom is only the fourth best defenceman this season.  Stats have blinded you like chronic masturbation did in your teenage years. 

This year’s Olympic hockey tournament proved a couple of things.  The greatest hockey minds in Canada, including Steve Yzerman, all agreed that Mike Green was a defensive liability not worth the risk of having on an Olympic roster despite his huge offensive numbers.  Also, Chris Pronger is completely out of place in today’s game.  The best decision Babcock made during the Olympics was to bench Pronger. 

The Sasquatch does not think or skate well, he is a throwback to the clutch-and-grab years of hockey.  Pronger only commits stupid and violent penalties when on the ice today.  That he is Puck Daddy’s fifth-best choice for the Norris Trophy shows what a joke Greg really is.  Which is why he fits in so nicely among the other drooling idiots of the PHWA.

I’m so glad I’m only a faux journalist.  I’d hate to be forced to stop watching hockey to do my job.

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Comments

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pgoody's avatar

Wow just looked at NHL.com stats page…

Thid’s mug adorns every major statistical category for offense…

Posted by pgoody on 04/23/10 at 05:43 PM ET

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Learn how to read 101.

  While Lidstrom may not deserve to win the Norris this season, he deserves to be a finalist.  No fauxing doubt about it.

What a big waste of time reading this “comment” was.  Amateur.

 

I actually was talking about the nomination in itself, I still think the original text was very amateurish and dumb, like many replies to my comment. You guys at the very least amuse me…

Amateurs.

Posted by hockeydude from canada on 04/23/10 at 05:43 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Amateurs.

When I see what the professional writers are responsible for, I’m proud to be an amateur.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/23/10 at 05:46 PM ET

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Try again, pal.  I didn’t ask for you to find me a non-Caps fan who thinks Green is more deserving than Lidstrom, I asked for one who thinks he should win.  Wysh picked Doughty as the winner and, while he’s my 2nd pick behind Duncan Keith, his name certainly isn’t Mike Green.

Actually, you asked for a non-Caps fan who thinks Green deserves the Norris. Calling Green the #2 defenseman in the league means he thinks he is worth of the award.

Posted by JRock on 04/23/10 at 05:46 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Yet if you’re using ‘amateur’ as a pejorative term, your twice-consecutive use of the term in that way suggests a certain ‘amateurishness’ in your own prose.

Glass houses and all…

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/23/10 at 05:47 PM ET

Avatar

Do we have a Caps troll here…

if we do then heres my message, you better beat the shit out of those fuchin Pens


Happily, but first-things-first; let’s beat Philthy.

Posted by JRock on 04/23/10 at 05:48 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Calling Green the #2 defenseman in the league means he thinks he is worth of the award.

Not quite.  You don’t do much mathematics, do you?

Calling him the #2 defenseman in the League means he thinks he’s worthy of being runner-up for the award.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/23/10 at 05:49 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Actually, you asked for a non-Caps fan who thinks Green deserves the Norris. Calling Green the #2 defenseman in the league means he thinks he is worth of the award.

Posted by JRock on 04/23/10 at 03:46 PM ET

In what kind of ass-backwards world did I say that?  If Green isn’t the best defenseman in the league (which Wyshynski obviously thinks he’s not), then he’s not deserving of the Norris; it means he’s deserving of 2nd place.

The first runner-up in the Miss America pageant isn’t deserving of the crown.

But, whatever, if you really feel you have to twist the meaning of what I say around so that you win teh innernets, then twist this:

Find me a non-Caps fan who thinks Mike Green SHOULD WIN THE NORRIS TROPHY THIS YEAR.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/23/10 at 05:52 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Ah, the ultimate irony - accusing people of not watching hockey in making their Norris selections, but at the same time obviously not watching a single minute of Capitals hockey

On the contrary, I’ve seen way too much Caps hockey this season. Versus and NBC had them on all the freakin time. Let’s look at stats that reveals what Green’s coaches think of him as a defenseman: time on ice

These numbers are from NHL.com are are for Caps D-men only.

Overall TOI
1. Green 1911:12
2. Poti 1498:25
3. Schultz 1450:10
4. Morrisson 1194:37

ES TOI
1. Green 1369:43
2. Schultz 1243:11
3. Poti 1170:46
4. Morrisson 1036:38

PP TOI
1. Green 379:48
2. Poti 74:39
3. Schultz 50:30
4. Morrisson 2:51

SH TOI
1. Poti 253:00
2. Schultz 192:55
3. Green 161:41
4. Morrisson 155:08

Green’s own coaching staff don’t trust his defensive skills, so explain this “progress” to me again?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 05:56 PM ET

awould's avatar

Doughty, Lidstrom, Weber
That should be the three finalists. And probably Doughty winning this year because Lidstrom was way off his game. Mike Greene can suck it. He’s terrible in actually playing DEFENSE.

Posted by awould on 04/23/10 at 05:58 PM ET

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To all you haters.  I Mike Green am a Golden God and all those who speak evil of my name will go to hell.  All Hail me and my Super Best Friends, Ovie, Backstrom, Seaman, and Knuble.

Posted by Mike Green from Washington DC on 04/23/10 at 05:59 PM ET

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If Green is not worthy of the award, then he’s not on Puck Daddy’s ballot. Not sure how that simple logic escapes you.

And arguing the coaches don’t trust him when he has the vast majority of TOI out of all Caps defensemen might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. Green had the 9th most TOI out of anyone in the league, including Doughty (finalist) and Lidstrom (not a finalist). Yeah, coaches definitely don’t trust him out there.

Posted by JRock on 04/23/10 at 06:02 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

To all you haters.  I Mike Green am a Golden God and all those who speak evil of my name will go to hell.  All Hail me and my Super Best Friends, Ovie, Backstrom, Seaman, and Knuble.
Posted by Mike Green

Helm is God.

You on the other hand are an above-average offensive defenseman that can’t be trusted by his coaches to actually play defense, thus the splinters that accumulate in your fat ass during penalty kills.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 06:03 PM ET

Avatar

I forgot why I don’t come here anymore, now I remember that it’s polluted with all Detroit fans who circle jerk between each other over the 2% of other fans who even care to stop by.

Posted by Ben on 04/23/10 at 06:04 PM ET

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Where did you put your medal for safe keeping?  Oh wait…

C’mon Mike.  The only thing Golden about you is your showers.

Posted by Phil from Montreal on 04/23/10 at 06:04 PM ET

awould's avatar

Green’s PK time is a joke.

Posted by awould on 04/23/10 at 06:04 PM ET

Avatar

First off let me say not only are my legs tried but so is my ass.  Super Mario was none to pleased with us losing in triple overtime and he gave it to me good last night in the basement.  That being said.  Mike Green hits really really hard and i think he is a sexy beast that deserves the award.

Posted by Cindy Crosby from Ottawa on 04/23/10 at 06:05 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

I forgot why I don’t come here anymore

Apparently so, because here you are.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/23/10 at 06:06 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Actually, you asked for a non-Caps fan who thinks Green deserves the Norris. Calling Green the #2 defenseman in the league means he thinks he is worth of the award.

what?!  the person they put as #1 is the person they think deserves the award.  the #2 choice says “if Guy # 1 wasn’t in the league, I’d choose guy #2” - but since guy #1 is in the league…

they’re forced to make a list, btw.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/23/10 at 06:08 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Apparently so, because here you are.

Andrew…that almost Zen right there.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 04/23/10 at 06:09 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

And arguing the coaches don’t trust him when he has the vast majority of TOI out of all Caps defensemen might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. Green had the 9th most TOI out of anyone in the league, including Doughty (finalist) and Lidstrom (not a finalist). Yeah, coaches definitely don’t trust him out there.
Posted by JRock on 04/23/10 at 04:02 PM ET

He accumulated all that ice time on the PP, you twit. Read all the stats. He played 300 more minutes than No. 2 Poti on the PP. Green played slightly more at even strength (~10% more), and damn near finished 4th in SH TOI, save for 5 minutes.

Lidstrom finished a close 2nd on SHTOI to Brad Stuart.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 06:09 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

If Green is not worthy of the award, then he’s not on Puck Daddy’s ballot. Not sure how that simple logic escapes you.

Because the award counts 1st place votes, 2nd place votes and so on, assigning different points values to each vote.

Getting your name on Wyshynski’s ballot in 2nd place means exactly that, Wyshynski thought Green was deserving of 2nd place for the Norris, not deserving of the Norris.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/23/10 at 06:11 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

If Green is not worthy of the award, then he’s not on Puck Daddy’s ballot. Not sure how that simple logic escapes you.

wow.  ONLY ONE PERSON GETS THE AWARD.  for each voter, the person they think deserves it, they put as #1.  the rest of the list is just, “if #1 wasn’t in the league” “if #1 and #2 weren’t in the league” etc.

but #1 IS IN THE LEAGUE, so the guy they think deserves the award is #1.

I forgot why I don’t come here anymore, now I remember that it’s polluted with all Detroit fans who circle jerk between each other over the 2% of other fans who even care to stop by.

the name of the blog is ABEL TO YZERMAN.  wtf did you expect?

you want a discussion of the Norris Trophy nominees with more non-Wings fans?  how about going to the KK main blog?

http://www.kuklaskorner.com/index.php/hockey/comments/norris_trophy_finalists/

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/23/10 at 06:12 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

JRock, regarding puckdouches ballot let me put this in a way that will help you understand.

As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 06:12 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired.


what are the chances he gets the reference?

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/23/10 at 06:21 PM ET

Avatar

Well, there’s no arguing with folks who don’t understand simple logic, I give up.

And regardless of what Wysh’s thoughts on the subject are, Green is a finalist for the Norris trophy. Since logic escapes most of you, that means there are plenty of non-Caps fans who think he is worthy of the award, and probably quite a few who think he should win. It also means that there are plenty who think Lidstrom is not worthy of the award. So cry yourselves to sleep tonight on your Red Wing sheets thinking about that.

With that I’ll bid adieu.

Posted by JRock on 04/23/10 at 06:22 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

With that I’ll bid adieu.

I look forward to you coming back to tell us how you’re not coming back.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/23/10 at 06:24 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Andrew…that almost Zen right there.

Thanks, Rummie—I try.

Yet it’s not so much me as it is those who post to brag about how much they don’t hang out here, and how little time they spend reading such a worthless blog.  Never have I seen so much effort expended to convince others of ones indifference toward them.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/23/10 at 06:26 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Mike Green for the Norris?  Is it ignorance or apathy that propels such notions?  I don’t know and I don’t care!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/23/10 at 06:26 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

what are the chances he gets the reference?
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/23/10 at 04:21 PM

Slim and none and Slim just left town.

What an idiot. Plenty of non-Caps fands think he should win? Fans do not vote for the Norris Trophy, the members of the PWHA do the voting. So unless JRock hired Gallup or Zogby to do some polling for him, he is more logic impaired than I initally thought. Good ridance JRockforBrains.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 06:27 PM ET

Avatar

I’m ok with these 3 players. All 3 had incredible years. I wouldn’t pick Lidstrom to be a finalist either. He, like most of the Red Wing team, had a bad year (except for Howard).

Posted by Josh from Tampa on 04/23/10 at 06:28 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

A reading from the Troll Bible, book of L337 H4xX0|2z, chapter 5, verses 1-8

“And lo, when the straw man hath burned and the people hath beaten their breast upon the sorrow you’ve inflicted, thou must take thy leave of those smoted, for they are like the n00b Philistines and hath shown a keen disinterest in thine most excellent and pure, but oft misunderstood brand of what they call “logic”.  For it is they who will not see the light which you have brought and they alone who will continue to run into most painful rocks in the dark left behind by your passing.  But, versooth! do not forget to continue lurking, for your light is yours.”

Praise be to Pwnage.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/23/10 at 06:29 PM ET

DetCapC19's avatar

And regardless of what Wysh’s thoughts on the subject are, Green is a finalist for the Norris trophy. Since logic escapes most of you, that means there are plenty of non-Caps fans who think he is worthy of the award, and probably quite a few who think he should win.

Fans don’t vote on the award.  Journalists do…

Posted by DetCapC19 from Vancouver, BC on 04/23/10 at 06:29 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

5.5 more hours until the puck drops….

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 06:33 PM ET

Avatar

One more thought, since I unfortunately clicked “email me when someone replies:”

Hockey writers (a vast majority of them, anyway) are non-Caps fans. Since (as so many of you were kind enough to point out) hockey writers vote on the Norris, logically that means there a lot of non-Caps fans who think Green is worthy of the Norris. Simple logic.

Boom, roasted.

Posted by JRock on 04/23/10 at 06:34 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Hockey writers (a vast majority of them, anyway) are non-Caps fans. Since (as so many of you were kind enough to point out) hockey writers vote on the Norris, logically that means there a lot of non-Caps fans who think Green is worthy of the Norris. Simple logic.

Boom, roasted.

Posted by JRock on 04/23/10 at 04:34 PM ET

That’s fine, but by my logic, you still haven’t found me one, just explained that it’s likely.

You see, finalist means “top three”.  It’s actually possible that Mike Green got into the top three of vote-getters without getting a single first-place vote from a non-Caps fan (or writer, to clarify this point for the change in topic).

I don’t actually doubt that you’ll be able to find a non-Caps fan writer who 1. had a ballot and B. put Mike Green first on his ballot.  When you do find that person, I’d like his name, because I’m going to spend all summer pointing out how stupid that person is.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/23/10 at 06:38 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Hockey writers (a vast majority of them, anyway) are non-Caps fans. Since (as so many of you were kind enough to point out) hockey writers vote on the Norris, logically that means there a lot of non-Caps fans who think Green is worthy of the Norris. Simple logic.

Hockey writers are not fans. Hockey writers are professional journalists (allegedly).  Rule number 1 among journalists is impartiality (allegedly).
Rooting for a team (like fans do) is taboo in the press box.

Fan is short for fanatic. The voters for the Norris are not fans.

You are rhetorically and logically challenged.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 06:41 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

One more thought, since I unfortunately clicked “email me when someone replies:”

How odd that you received our replies, since KK only emails you if you’re registered and logged in…

Or do you just miss our company that much?  Don’t worry, you don’t have to admit it.  We all have guilty pleasures.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/23/10 at 06:42 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

a non-Caps fan writer who 1. had a ballot and B. put Mike Green first on his ballot.

JJ, I really hate to do this, but if I remember correctly, for the sake of the whole truth, there is one such PHWA member whom I know of who fulfilled both those criteria in last year’s Norris vote…

Bruce MacLeod, The Macomb Daily.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/23/10 at 06:46 PM ET

MarkK's avatar

from behindthenet.ca, Lidstrom’s quality of competition is .068
Green’s is .031
Oh, sorry. that’s ANDY Greene.
Mike Green is .005

Thanks a lot Paul.  Waste of perfectly good Arnold Palmer lemonade tea.  Thank Jobu the keyboard rolls in under the desk surface.

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 04/23/10 at 06:47 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com