Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Lidstrom Screwed By Stats And Stupidity

I officially discovered that the Professional Hockey Writers Association are a bunch of clowns today, via the Emperor and Khan(!)

Luminary minds at the PHWA, like Greg Wyshynski and Adrian Dater, announced this season’s Norris trophy finalists:

Chicago’s Duncan Keith, Washington’s Mike Green and Los Angeles’ Drew Doughty were named Friday as the finalists for the awarded presented to the NHL’s top defenseman.

Wait.  What?

You’re telling me that the “great”, “professional” hockey journalists at the PHWA decided Nick Lidstrom, The Perfect Human, wasn’t a Norris finalist?  Utter nonsense.  A room full of monkey at desks masturbating on typewriters would have done a better job at awarding this year’s Norris Trophy.

It is just the second time in 12 seasons that Lidstrom, a six-time Norris winner, hasn’t been a finalist. He finished ninth in scoring among defensemen with 49 points (nine goals, 40 assists).

Those bitches can suck it.  While Lidstrom may not deserve to win the Norris this season, he deserves to be a finalist.  No fauxing doubt about it.

By not voting for Lidstrom in a higher position, the pro hockey writers prove that they don’t watch hockey at all.  They put their blind faith in something far less useful.

 

 

The finalists were the three-highest scoring defensemen in the league. Green led the way with 76 points (19 goals, 57 assists), followed by Keith (14-55—69) and Doughty (16-43—59).

Stats.  The pro hockey writers use stats as a crutch to replace actually watching lots of hockey.  It is now official.  The Norris Trophy will be the equivalent of the Art Ross Trophy for defenceman.

It doesn’t matter that today we can DVR any game to watch the next day.  It doesn’t matter that most games are broadcast widescreen so you can actually watch defenceman away from the puck thwart the offense.  None of that matters to pro hockey writers.  They have made it perfectly clear that they will let stats fuel their hockey ignorance from now on.  They can all kiss my ass.

I asked Puck Daddy to send me his autograph on a large piece of aluminum foil as I wanted to make another tin-foil hat.  He obliged.  It was cute he used hearts to dot all his i’s.  On the same piece of aluminum foil he listed his Norris Trophy picks:

1. Drew Doughty, Los Angeles Kings
2. Mike Green, Washington Capitals
3. Duncan Keith, Chicago Blackhawks
4. Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit Red Wings
5. Chris Pronger, Philadelphia Flyers

Great job, Greg, you’ve made 3 terrible decisions in only 5 choices.  You fail.

There is no way Lidstrom is only the fourth best defenceman this season.  Stats have blinded you like chronic masturbation did in your teenage years. 

This year’s Olympic hockey tournament proved a couple of things.  The greatest hockey minds in Canada, including Steve Yzerman, all agreed that Mike Green was a defensive liability not worth the risk of having on an Olympic roster despite his huge offensive numbers.  Also, Chris Pronger is completely out of place in today’s game.  The best decision Babcock made during the Olympics was to bench Pronger. 

The Sasquatch does not think or skate well, he is a throwback to the clutch-and-grab years of hockey.  Pronger only commits stupid and violent penalties when on the ice today.  That he is Puck Daddy’s fifth-best choice for the Norris Trophy shows what a joke Greg really is.  Which is why he fits in so nicely among the other drooling idiots of the PHWA.

I’m so glad I’m only a faux journalist.  I’d hate to be forced to stop watching hockey to do my job.

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Comments

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WestWing's avatar

Since the Wings have no Danes on the roster, but lots of Swedes, I would go with Torbjörn Tännsjö

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/23/10 at 06:33 PM ET

point taken…granted he’s no Axel Hägerström, but dude can flat out play the physical game in his own zone.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/23/10 at 08:52 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

TPH and his teacher:

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/10 at 08:56 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

We really need a game to re-focus all this random energy.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/23/10 at 08:57 PM ET

monkey's avatar

page 2 i think. captaindennis posted it i think.

Yes, he did, it’s on NHL.com, I missed it the first time around.  Once I found it took me all of ten seconds to see that Tom Poti is a much better defensemen than Mike Green.

Oh for *#$%@&’s sake (I’m sure this has already been hashed over, but I’m just catching up, please bear with me)- the three finalists are Keith, Green, and Doughty?  Are you *#$%@& kidding me?  The god damn lazy bastards just picked the top three scoring defensemen.  That’s it.  The majority of writers just picked the top three scorers.  This is absolutely pathetic.  What an absolute travesty.

TOM POTI IS A BETTER DEFENSEMAN THAN MIKE GREEN.  Their coach knows it, you should too.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 08:59 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Even if you watch Lidstrom, it’s hard to see why he’s so good. So I don’t expect the media to see it in a down year.

The only reason he ever won is because he was such a prolific scorer.  The Norris Trophy is a joke.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 09:00 PM ET

monkey's avatar

TPH and his teacher:

Who is that on the left?  Dolph Lundgren?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 09:01 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Stats.  The pro hockey writers use stats as a crutch to replace actually watching lots of hockey.  It is now official.  The Norris Trophy will be the equivalent of the Art Ross Trophy for defenceman.

Dog damn *#$%@&.  Pirate balls.  Dog eating *#$%@& bastards.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 09:03 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Whew…it’s after 4, I can post again…

page 2 i think. captaindennis posted it i think.

Bottom of page 1 of this thread actually.

Who is that on the left?  Dolph Lundgren?

That’s Vladdy. And since they were both part of that amazing 1989 draft class, I would not call him Nick’s teacher

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 09:06 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Dog damn *#$%@&.  Pirate balls.  Dog eating *#$%@& bastards.

Posted by monkey from bat country on 04/23/10 at 07:03 PM ET

James H. Christ it’s a ripoff.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/23/10 at 09:06 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Who is that on the left?  Dolph Lundgren?

Posted by monkey from bat country on 04/23/10 at 07:01 PM ET

This is he:

This is TPH with the Mule at poolside after the last cup:

Or is it the other way around ... ?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/10 at 09:06 PM ET

monkey's avatar

That’s Vladdy. And since they were both part of that amazing 1989 draft class, I would not call him Nick’s teacher

No, your other left.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 09:12 PM ET

Alzy's avatar

Can’t say this really surprises me. With parity being in full force, it doesn’t surprise me that we have three “young guns”, two of three having never been nominated for it, just to make sure everyone gets a chance. It’s why I was surprised Dangle got nominated for both the Selke and Lady Byng.

I’ll be missing the game and LB, as per usual. I will be following on the real-time updater on nhl.com though. I’m wearing the exact same clothes I wore for games 2 and 4. I’m feeling very confident about tonight, I think our boys will come out with their best game of the series (and yes, I say this also including game six and a possible game seven).

LET’S GO RED WINGS(excla-fuching-mation. POINT) ((It’s worked for games 2 and 4, I’m not messing with the mojo))

Posted by Alzy from Cambridge, Ontario, Canada on 04/23/10 at 09:14 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Is that a rolled up sock in your shorts or are you just glad to see me?

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/23/10 at 09:15 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Is that a rolled up sock in your shorts or are you just glad to see me?

The sock just fell in the garbage can, if you catch my drift.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 09:37 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

The sock just fell in the garbage can, if you catch my drift.
Posted by monkey from bat country

Fell in? Not shot in? Need some of those little blue pills? smile

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/23/10 at 09:44 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Blacque Jacque Shalak stading tall for the Habs.  This can’t last.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 10:18 PM ET

monkey's avatar

And cue the first Caps goal.  Prescient, I tell you.  Prescient.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 10:21 PM ET

monkey's avatar

“LIdstrom screwed by bats and stupidity”

Wait, what?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/10 at 10:22 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Or is it the other way around ... ?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/10 at 07:06 PM ET

Nice view. Thanks stonehands-78.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/23/10 at 10:36 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

This is TPH with the Mule at poolside after the last cup:

Or is it the other way around ... ?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/10 at 07:06 PM ET

Holy schite, Lids is fuching ripped to pieces…

omg and hes almost 40…

thats p90x ripped…

Posted by pgoody on 04/23/10 at 10:39 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Holy schite, Lids is fuching ripped to pieces…

I suspect a lot of NHL players look like that.

skaters anyway.  how could they have ANY body fat?  goalies on the other hand…

yeah, JIMMAH, I’m looking at you.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/23/10 at 10:48 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

oh, and settle down pgoody.  I doubt you’re his type.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/23/10 at 10:49 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Doughty, Lidstrom, Weber


I know that this thread is shotski, but I still gotta put my 2 pennies in here.  I second the above nomination exactly.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/23/10 at 10:58 PM ET

Avatar

Very likely Lidstrom didn’t get in because the Wings sucked for most of the season and he wasn’t going to beat Doughty or Keith so why make a fuss. Green got jobbed for Team Canada so it is a compensation prize. Whatever!

Posted by Timbits on 04/24/10 at 03:59 AM ET

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com