Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Kenny?  What Now? We’re Gonna Live Blog While You Consider Giving Abby’s Number To…Shhhhh

I'm pretty sure that when the shit got considerably real whenever the last offseason was, I demanded that Kenny Holland sign Alexander Semin to a one-year ten million dollar deal. Because I know what I'm doing. I know hockey and I watch NHL On The Fly now because we get the NHL Network on the ship and plus I read everything HockeyInHD writes and he's a pharmacist of the most redolent order.

When was that...the actual "offseason"? Last summer?  Laura and Mary Ingalls had pranced off to Walnut Grove and the Stress Train was swaying.  It was a drunken, troubling, bodacious time. 

And I know I told Tick Tock that many millions needed to be spent on Semin because our boy Pavel would reform him, inspire the willowy lad with the tender sensitivities.

In a roundabout way, we signed Damien Brunner instead.  Brunner's got 10 goals. Semin ("he's the SNIPER WE NEED KENNY") has 4 in Carolina.  Brunner's making less than 2.  Semin's pulling in 7 million.

Somebody is a professional GM. Someone else is a nimrod who likes to type.

And the Diggers are getting ballsy.  Actually, sit down, discussing trade possibiities. Almost unheard of without organ-I-zational permission.

Who would have thought we'd have excess defensemen?  Well, re-phrase...because the Lions have excess defensive backs but they all suck ass so it really doesn't matter.  Try this: who would have thought our blue line would look pretty good and we'd still have defensemen to spare if the right deal came along?

Not me.  Sheeeeeeiiiit.  Not you either, smart guy. Nope.  But now we do and the wheels are turning somewhere.  So, when you've got one team with a few extra decent (and relatively cheap) d-men...well, you start wondering what might  be done to increase the chances of, you know, a Stanley Fuching Cup.

And when you have another team with a superstar whose talent is truly sublime (in all my years of life I've never actually typed or said the word "sublime"...I think I used it right but in keeping with tradition you can stick that dictionary all the way up your St. Louis tail pipe because I'm not looking it up).

I can't help it. I just can't.  Capgeek says we have like 13 million to spend if we made a deal today, 32 at the deadline. 

I'll just say it: Ovechkin is 28. He makes 10 million...but over like 20 years (actually...gulp...13). He's one of the top 5 most talented players in hockey.  Datsyuk would have dramatic effect on him.  I'm gonna type this really fast so that you can forget it right after you read it but Kenny Holland should consider trading any one of our defensemen except for Nick Kronwall plus some picks and like a Tatar or a Nyquist and let the Caps keep some of that salary if it's even allowed in this CBA...for Ovechkin. There. I said it.  Disregard. I literally feel filthy right now. Stupid. Idiotic idea. Fiscally suicidal. Do it Kenny. Kidding. Horrible suggestion. Seriously, though. Consider it. K. Thanks.

It's an early-starting Live Blog, bitches.  I'm sorry for last night. I take full responsibility.  I won't mention any of JFH's shutouts ever again. Ever.

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Comments

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RorSchach's avatar

Yes. Lets Go WINGS!

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 11:25 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Anyone have a possible Wings Feed?

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 11:27 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

3 minutes. Bitches.

LetsbGo Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/28/13 at 11:27 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Eins!

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 11:30 PM ET

calquake's avatar

A driver was stopped in traffic in Washington D.C. and not moving.  Suddenly a man tapped on his window.  He rolls the window down and asks, “What’s going on?”  The man replies, “Terrorists have taken over Congress and are demanding $10 million in ransom or they will douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.  We are going from car to car collecting donations.”  The man asks, “How much is everyone giving on average?”  The man replies, “About 2 gallons.”

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 11:31 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

i have a wings feed, but the audio is crap

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 02/28/13 at 11:33 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

With all the available channels the NHL proves they hate Red Wing’s fans. We deserve a Home and Away broadcast.  Oh goody it’s Drewouche.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/28/13 at 11:33 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

I don’t care! Send it. Cause I’m not listening to Drewouche Canoe.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 11:33 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

FSD FEED

audio is ok

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 02/28/13 at 11:34 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Audio is great for me! I appreciate it, yoop! I didn’t check that site. Shame on me.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 11:35 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

  The man replies, “About 2 gallons.”
Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 10:31 PM ET

The man in the car replies if that is the case I will donate 5 gallons.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 02/28/13 at 11:36 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 10:31 PM ET

I’ll gladly donate 100 gallons.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/28/13 at 11:38 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Go WINGS!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/28/13 at 11:38 PM ET

calquake's avatar

  The man replies, “About 2 gallons.”
Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 10:31 PM ET

The man in the car replies if that is the case I will donate 5 gallons.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 02/28/13 at 10:36 PM ET

What he should have said is, “I’ll supply the matches.”

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 11:39 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Ok wings let’s do this.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/28/13 at 11:39 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

I really, really, really, miss Mickey.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 02/28/13 at 11:40 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

hay hoo. a pp for the wings, what are we 0-45 on the road with the pp?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 02/28/13 at 11:42 PM ET

calquake's avatar

They are creating chances.

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 11:43 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

My centerice channel about 12 or 13 is HD, and you can stream the Detroit audio on the internet

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/28/13 at 11:43 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Monster scares me..

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 11:44 PM ET

Bent's avatar

hay hoo. a pp for the wings, what are we 0-45 on the road with the pp?
   
Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 02/28/13 at 10:42 PM ET

0-32 now, after that one.  Good PP, but no results.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/28/13 at 11:44 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Damn no luck, so close on these PPs the last two nights.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/28/13 at 11:45 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Franzen looked like he was out there for a stroll in the park.

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 11:46 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Franzen looked like he was out there for a stroll in the park.

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 10:46 PM ET

Sooner than later he’ll manage to get mugged and fall down.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/28/13 at 11:49 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Mule likes to feed his pigeons.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 02/28/13 at 11:49 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

So that’s what happened to Kennedy, he’s at SJ, was Abdelkader’s line mate on national championship team at MSU.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/28/13 at 11:49 PM ET

calquake's avatar

So that’s what happened to Kennedy, he’s at SJ, was Abdelkader’s line mate on national championship team at MSU.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/28/13 at 10:49 PM ET

Maybe he can get Abby to start scoring…

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 11:50 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

Mule likes to feed his pigeons.
Posted by Yzersyuk on 02/28/13 at 10:49 PM ET

The legs feed the wolves boys.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 02/28/13 at 11:52 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Franzen looked like he was out there for a stroll in the park.

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 10:46 PM ET

So let’s trade him for another stroll in the park player in Ovie.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 02/28/13 at 11:53 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Mule likes to feed his pigeons.
Posted by Yzersyuk on 02/28/13 at 10:49 PM ET

The legs feed the wolves boys.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 02/28/13 at 10:52 PM ET

And the olives are sweet as raspberries… what?

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 11:54 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

And the olives are sweet as raspberries… what?
Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 10:54 PM ET

From the Miracle on ice 1980.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 02/28/13 at 11:56 PM ET

calquake's avatar

So let’s trade him for another stroll in the park player in Ovie.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 02/28/13 at 10:53 PM ET

Over your dead body. cheese

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 11:56 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Still want Parise :( cupless loser that he is.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 02/28/13 at 11:58 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Ovie would be sweet. But not happening.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 11:58 PM ET

calquake's avatar

From the Miracle on ice 1980.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 02/28/13 at 10:56 PM ET

I’ve never seen the complete movie, only portions.  That had to be Kurt Russell (as Coach Herb Brooks that said that.

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 11:59 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 10:59 PM ET

Yes it was and it is still true today.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 03/01/13 at 12:00 AM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

MONSTER

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 03/01/13 at 12:01 AM ET

RorSchach's avatar

That was a damn good save.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 03/01/13 at 12:02 AM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

MONSTER
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s

GUSSTOPSON

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 03/01/13 at 12:02 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Bonjour all.

Checking in late because, well, I was drinking elsewheres. Helluva lead in there Cmd MC…“Nimrod, sublime, bodacious” all in one rant…...somebody is out to sea with a thesaurus. wink

Still waiting for the First Row hamster turbines to spool up on the pirate feed….how they looking?

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 03/01/13 at 12:03 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com