Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Kenny?  What Now? We’re Gonna Live Blog While You Consider Giving Abby’s Number To…Shhhhh

I'm pretty sure that when the shit got considerably real whenever the last offseason was, I demanded that Kenny Holland sign Alexander Semin to a one-year ten million dollar deal. Because I know what I'm doing. I know hockey and I watch NHL On The Fly now because we get the NHL Network on the ship and plus I read everything HockeyInHD writes and he's a pharmacist of the most redolent order.

When was that...the actual "offseason"? Last summer?  Laura and Mary Ingalls had pranced off to Walnut Grove and the Stress Train was swaying.  It was a drunken, troubling, bodacious time. 

And I know I told Tick Tock that many millions needed to be spent on Semin because our boy Pavel would reform him, inspire the willowy lad with the tender sensitivities.

In a roundabout way, we signed Damien Brunner instead.  Brunner's got 10 goals. Semin ("he's the SNIPER WE NEED KENNY") has 4 in Carolina.  Brunner's making less than 2.  Semin's pulling in 7 million.

Somebody is a professional GM. Someone else is a nimrod who likes to type.

And the Diggers are getting ballsy.  Actually, sit down, discussing trade possibiities. Almost unheard of without organ-I-zational permission.

Who would have thought we'd have excess defensemen?  Well, re-phrase...because the Lions have excess defensive backs but they all suck ass so it really doesn't matter.  Try this: who would have thought our blue line would look pretty good and we'd still have defensemen to spare if the right deal came along?

Not me.  Sheeeeeeiiiit.  Not you either, smart guy. Nope.  But now we do and the wheels are turning somewhere.  So, when you've got one team with a few extra decent (and relatively cheap) d-men...well, you start wondering what might  be done to increase the chances of, you know, a Stanley Fuching Cup.

And when you have another team with a superstar whose talent is truly sublime (in all my years of life I've never actually typed or said the word "sublime"...I think I used it right but in keeping with tradition you can stick that dictionary all the way up your St. Louis tail pipe because I'm not looking it up).

I can't help it. I just can't.  Capgeek says we have like 13 million to spend if we made a deal today, 32 at the deadline. 

I'll just say it: Ovechkin is 28. He makes 10 million...but over like 20 years (actually...gulp...13). He's one of the top 5 most talented players in hockey.  Datsyuk would have dramatic effect on him.  I'm gonna type this really fast so that you can forget it right after you read it but Kenny Holland should consider trading any one of our defensemen except for Nick Kronwall plus some picks and like a Tatar or a Nyquist and let the Caps keep some of that salary if it's even allowed in this CBA...for Ovechkin. There. I said it.  Disregard. I literally feel filthy right now. Stupid. Idiotic idea. Fiscally suicidal. Do it Kenny. Kidding. Horrible suggestion. Seriously, though. Consider it. K. Thanks.

It's an early-starting Live Blog, bitches.  I'm sorry for last night. I take full responsibility.  I won't mention any of JFH's shutouts ever again. Ever.

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Comments

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stonehands-78's avatar

surprised

long face

ohh

downer

LOL

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 02/28/13 at 07:12 PM ET

Paul's avatar

RWBill, I had our web developer look into this because I know Copy used to work for me too.

It appears to be a ShareThis issue that is being worked on.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 02/28/13 at 07:13 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

I meant that as a joke.

Well why is it so bad?  Maybe Kindl. Wings drafted Fleischmann and Fil in the same draft. He crashes more than Fil. I don’t know his contract. Is it awful?

Posted by MoreShoot on 02/28/13 at 07:14 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Oh good, because I clearly read “...any one of our defensemen…”

I spat my snot out so fast.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/28/13 at 07:18 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Alexander Ovechkin?  I met him on the internet.  He’s a French model.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 02/28/13 at 07:28 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Alexander Ovechkin?  I met him on the internet.  He’s a French model.

Posted by monkey from Fear and Loathing on 02/28/13 at 07:28 PM ET

“Uhhh…privyet?”

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/28/13 at 07:30 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Evening bitches.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/28/13 at 07:30 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Suka!

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/28/13 at 07:36 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Alexander Ovechkin?  I met him on the internet.  He’s a French model.
Posted by monkey from Fear and Loathing on 02/28/13 at 07:28 PM ET

Did you tell him Oh, and bonjour?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 02/28/13 at 07:36 PM ET

OlderThanChelios's avatar

Stupid. Idiotic idea. Fiscally suicidal.

Shoulda stopped right there, Master Chief. Anything after that last point was definitely redolent.

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 02/28/13 at 07:42 PM ET

statelouis26's avatar

Ovechkin is unquestionably an all-world talent that does not come along everyday but I don’t think he’s a player worth the salary at this point.  He probably is not someone I would build a franchise around because he is at a low impact position (winger) and does not particularly have the best two-way game.  That being said he has nobody around him (what happened to Backstrom?), which ironically may due with his extreme salary.  The Wings best asset at this point (besides Datsyuk/Zetterberg/Brunner) is the salary cap room.  In the salary cap world those who win get the best value out of their players.  Ovechkin currently is not worth Dan Cleary (“nothing,” aka Dan Do-Nothing Cleary) and IMO would not trade Smith and Lashoff bc of their potential, youth, and salary.  Maybe Fil Franzen Samuelsson?  I’m sorry but Fil does a good casper impression 9 times out of ten (yes, I know he is hurt).

Posted by statelouis26 from Detroit, MI on 02/28/13 at 07:46 PM ET

statelouis26's avatar

Everything on the internet is true.  Where did you hear that? ....the internet

Posted by statelouis26 from Detroit, MI on 02/28/13 at 07:49 PM ET

statelouis26's avatar

Speaking of Lashoff, what a find by Kenny.  Great deal too.  Hopefully he doesn’t come down with E syndrome.

Posted by statelouis26 from Detroit, MI on 02/28/13 at 08:01 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Speaking of Lashoff, what a find by Kenny.  Great deal too.  Hopefully he doesn’t come down with E syndrome.

Posted by statelouis26 from Detroit, MI on 02/28/13 at 08:01 PM ET

Babcock., not Kenny.

Posted by SK77 on 02/28/13 at 08:05 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Cheli is the one who told Kenny Lashoff’s an NHLer.  Wasn’t on the radar before that, was tracking to become a career AHLer.  Janik 2.0.

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/28/13 at 08:10 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Posted by
     
    some kid
     
      on 02/28/13 at 08:05 PM ET

Undrafted, Lashoff played major junior hockey in the Ontario Hockey League with the Barrie Colts and Kingston Frontenacs. On October 1, 2008 he was signed to a entry-level contract with the Detroit Red Wings organization following their 2008 training camp.

Highly doubt that Babcock was the one whom invited him. But who knows.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 08:11 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Highly doubt that Babcock was the one whom invited him. But who knows.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 08:11 PM ET

You’re right – but I thought during training camp Babcock went to Holland and said he wanted him. Not Kenny going to Babcock and saying, “here I got you this present.”

Am I wrong on that front too?

Posted by SK77 on 02/28/13 at 08:29 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Bonjour bitches. I believe everything that I have read here tonite.

Why? Because the Master Chief and the rest of the 19 said it on the internet.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/28/13 at 08:32 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Kid - As far as that.. I have no idea what whispering the BabCock tells Tick Tock. But you could be right on that. I can’t find and research on whom said they wanted him. I just know that in 2010. He was part of the WJC that won Gold. Haha.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 08:44 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

DIdn’t he also score 50 goals in juniors?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/28/13 at 08:45 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

No Jeff. But I know that from 08 to 2012, he only had 68 Pims.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 08:51 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Bonjour, Master Chief! 

Bonjour, 19+

Bring home a win.  I’ll be asleep.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 02/28/13 at 08:57 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Enjoy the Sleep, MsRedWinger.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 08:58 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

your eyelids are getting heavy…

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/28/13 at 09:22 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Soon your feet will go numb and go to sleeeeeeeeep….

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/28/13 at 09:23 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Next your arms will go numb and go to sleeeeeeeep….

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/28/13 at 09:24 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

And soon you wil…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/28/13 at 09:25 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

lol

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 09:27 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Evenin bit…...........zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Posted by Yzersyuk on 02/28/13 at 09:30 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

These last four posts are what the NHL referees used to relax between periods in last nights Red Wings game.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 02/28/13 at 09:32 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

These last four posts are what the NHL referees used to relax between periods in last nights Red Wings game.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 02/28/13 at 09:32 PM ET

Yep…all the while sipping on some nice hemp seed vodka

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/28/13 at 09:41 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Completely random: Connor Macleod is a complete coochie of an immortal in the Movie Highlander. Oh how this is entertaining.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 09:54 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

No Jeff. But I know that from 08 to 2012, he only had 68 Pims.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 08:51 PM ET

It’s a really old joke. Mick always mentioned every game how Maltby scored 50 goals in juniors.

http://kuklaskorner.com/index.php/a2y/comments/if_this_is_itfarewell_to_an_original_grinder

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 02/28/13 at 09:56 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I’m hoping we do not have to suffer through another broadcast with Drewouche Canoe, but, I think he is the Sharks’s color guy too.

Please do not forsake us, Jeebus.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/28/13 at 09:57 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Oh yes, CDP. I forgot about that.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 09:58 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

  Completely random: Connor Macleod is a complete coochie of an immortal in the Movie Highlander. Oh how this is entertaining.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 09:54 PM ET

You have the manners of a goat. And you smell like a dung heap!  And you have no knowledge whatsoever of your potential.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 02/28/13 at 10:04 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

You have the manners of a goat. And you smell like a dung heap!  And you have no knowledge whatsoever of your potential.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 02/28/13 at 10:04 PM ET

Also your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/28/13 at 10:05 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

ROFL. I love y’all.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 10:09 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar


ROFL. I love y’all.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 10:09 PM ET

Well, everyone has got their problems.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 02/28/13 at 10:21 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Puck drop time, already…...

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/28/13 at 10:23 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com