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Abel to Yzerman

Kenny?  What Now? We’re Gonna Live Blog While You Consider Giving Abby’s Number To…Shhhhh

I'm pretty sure that when the shit got considerably real whenever the last offseason was, I demanded that Kenny Holland sign Alexander Semin to a one-year ten million dollar deal. Because I know what I'm doing. I know hockey and I watch NHL On The Fly now because we get the NHL Network on the ship and plus I read everything HockeyInHD writes and he's a pharmacist of the most redolent order.

When was that...the actual "offseason"? Last summer?  Laura and Mary Ingalls had pranced off to Walnut Grove and the Stress Train was swaying.  It was a drunken, troubling, bodacious time. 

And I know I told Tick Tock that many millions needed to be spent on Semin because our boy Pavel would reform him, inspire the willowy lad with the tender sensitivities.

In a roundabout way, we signed Damien Brunner instead.  Brunner's got 10 goals. Semin ("he's the SNIPER WE NEED KENNY") has 4 in Carolina.  Brunner's making less than 2.  Semin's pulling in 7 million.

Somebody is a professional GM. Someone else is a nimrod who likes to type.

And the Diggers are getting ballsy.  Actually, sit down, discussing trade possibiities. Almost unheard of without organ-I-zational permission.

Who would have thought we'd have excess defensemen?  Well, re-phrase...because the Lions have excess defensive backs but they all suck ass so it really doesn't matter.  Try this: who would have thought our blue line would look pretty good and we'd still have defensemen to spare if the right deal came along?

Not me.  Sheeeeeeiiiit.  Not you either, smart guy. Nope.  But now we do and the wheels are turning somewhere.  So, when you've got one team with a few extra decent (and relatively cheap) d-men...well, you start wondering what might  be done to increase the chances of, you know, a Stanley Fuching Cup.

And when you have another team with a superstar whose talent is truly sublime (in all my years of life I've never actually typed or said the word "sublime"...I think I used it right but in keeping with tradition you can stick that dictionary all the way up your St. Louis tail pipe because I'm not looking it up).

I can't help it. I just can't.  Capgeek says we have like 13 million to spend if we made a deal today, 32 at the deadline. 

I'll just say it: Ovechkin is 28. He makes 10 million...but over like 20 years (actually...gulp...13). He's one of the top 5 most talented players in hockey.  Datsyuk would have dramatic effect on him.  I'm gonna type this really fast so that you can forget it right after you read it but Kenny Holland should consider trading any one of our defensemen except for Nick Kronwall plus some picks and like a Tatar or a Nyquist and let the Caps keep some of that salary if it's even allowed in this CBA...for Ovechkin. There. I said it.  Disregard. I literally feel filthy right now. Stupid. Idiotic idea. Fiscally suicidal. Do it Kenny. Kidding. Horrible suggestion. Seriously, though. Consider it. K. Thanks.

It's an early-starting Live Blog, bitches.  I'm sorry for last night. I take full responsibility.  I won't mention any of JFH's shutouts ever again. Ever.

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Comments

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MsRedWinger's avatar

...I am totally expecting to crumble into a pile of pessimism after Sunday’s game.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 03/01/13 at 09:14 AM ET

It would be so sweet if the Wings could deliver the Hawks their first loss, and on NBC, with Eddie IcePatch, to boot.  Seems to me the pressure is on them.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from the State where Tigers roam in the Spring on 03/01/13 at 09:18 AM ET

dougie's avatar

Any trade for ANYONE, from Jesus in hockey gear riding on a dinosaur, to a bag of foreskins stolen from Sidney Crosby’s refrigerator, that does not include Johan Franzen in the deal will leave me bitterly disappointed.

Posted by dougie on 03/01/13 at 02:19 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Any trade for ANYONE, from Jesus in hockey gear riding on a dinosaur, to a bag of foreskins stolen from Sidney Crosby’s refrigerator, that does not include Johan Franzen in the deal will leave me bitterly disappointed.

Posted by dougie on 03/01/13 at 02:19 PM ET

- See more at: http://kuklaskorner.com/a2y/comments/kenny-what-now-were-gonna-live-blog-while-you-consider-giving-abbys-number/P360#sthash.sfMf9TX0.dpuf

I am guessing that with your long history and familiarity with alcohol that this will not be your first dance with disappointment.

Oh, see monkey about the dinosaurs.

Posted by RWBill on 03/01/13 at 05:04 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

So I went to see that new Oedipus play last week. Took my mother. Talk about an awkward ride home. Barely got a goodnight kiss.

Posted by RWBill on 03/01/13 at 05:10 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

“I liked the fact that the D was big,’’ Babcock said. “They could skate and they went back and got pucks and paid the price to move it and get it out. Did we make some mistakes? Absolutely. But I thought it was the best group that we had all year.

Without White.

He explained his reasoning for removing White from the lineup.

“I think he’s been real good on the offensive blue line on the power play,’’ Babcock said. “I think when he’s looking up ice he makes real good passes.

“But, a lot of times you have to go back and get (the puck) and you have to get it out of your zone and not spend time in your zone. The guys who played (the past two games) did a good job of that.”

3 goals against in 2 road games back to back - without White - is pretty good, and LA was lucky to get those 2.

Until the next injury or back to back games I see White as a continued healthy scratch.

Posted by RWBill on 03/02/13 at 01:17 PM ET

SYF's avatar

So I went to see that new Oedipus play last week. Took my mother. Talk about an awkward ride home. Barely got a goodnight kiss.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/01/13 at 05:10 PM ET


Posted by SYF from Twerkin' with Anastasia Ashley on 03/02/13 at 02:53 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Good God.

Posted by RWBill on 03/02/13 at 03:18 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com