Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Kenny?  What Now? We’re Gonna Live Blog While You Consider Giving Abby’s Number To…Shhhhh

I'm pretty sure that when the shit got considerably real whenever the last offseason was, I demanded that Kenny Holland sign Alexander Semin to a one-year ten million dollar deal. Because I know what I'm doing. I know hockey and I watch NHL On The Fly now because we get the NHL Network on the ship and plus I read everything HockeyInHD writes and he's a pharmacist of the most redolent order.

When was that...the actual "offseason"? Last summer?  Laura and Mary Ingalls had pranced off to Walnut Grove and the Stress Train was swaying.  It was a drunken, troubling, bodacious time. 

And I know I told Tick Tock that many millions needed to be spent on Semin because our boy Pavel would reform him, inspire the willowy lad with the tender sensitivities.

In a roundabout way, we signed Damien Brunner instead.  Brunner's got 10 goals. Semin ("he's the SNIPER WE NEED KENNY") has 4 in Carolina.  Brunner's making less than 2.  Semin's pulling in 7 million.

Somebody is a professional GM. Someone else is a nimrod who likes to type.

And the Diggers are getting ballsy.  Actually, sit down, discussing trade possibiities. Almost unheard of without organ-I-zational permission.

Who would have thought we'd have excess defensemen?  Well, re-phrase...because the Lions have excess defensive backs but they all suck ass so it really doesn't matter.  Try this: who would have thought our blue line would look pretty good and we'd still have defensemen to spare if the right deal came along?

Not me.  Sheeeeeeiiiit.  Not you either, smart guy. Nope.  But now we do and the wheels are turning somewhere.  So, when you've got one team with a few extra decent (and relatively cheap) d-men...well, you start wondering what might  be done to increase the chances of, you know, a Stanley Fuching Cup.

And when you have another team with a superstar whose talent is truly sublime (in all my years of life I've never actually typed or said the word "sublime"...I think I used it right but in keeping with tradition you can stick that dictionary all the way up your St. Louis tail pipe because I'm not looking it up).

I can't help it. I just can't.  Capgeek says we have like 13 million to spend if we made a deal today, 32 at the deadline. 

I'll just say it: Ovechkin is 28. He makes 10 million...but over like 20 years (actually...gulp...13). He's one of the top 5 most talented players in hockey.  Datsyuk would have dramatic effect on him.  I'm gonna type this really fast so that you can forget it right after you read it but Kenny Holland should consider trading any one of our defensemen except for Nick Kronwall plus some picks and like a Tatar or a Nyquist and let the Caps keep some of that salary if it's even allowed in this CBA...for Ovechkin. There. I said it.  Disregard. I literally feel filthy right now. Stupid. Idiotic idea. Fiscally suicidal. Do it Kenny. Kidding. Horrible suggestion. Seriously, though. Consider it. K. Thanks.

It's an early-starting Live Blog, bitches.  I'm sorry for last night. I take full responsibility.  I won't mention any of JFH's shutouts ever again. Ever.

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Comments

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

I threw up in my mouth reading that Houlihan

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/28/13 at 07:00 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

I threw up in my mouth reading that Houlihan

I know. I couldn’t stop myself.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 02/28/13 at 07:02 PM ET

Hockeytown Wax's avatar

Ovie for Franzen White and a draft pick.

It could be done ... one lazy pain in the ass for another ... I can see it happening.

Question is ... does the Red Wing brain-trust think the team needs that bog of a shakeup ??

Hmmmmm….....

Posted by Hockeytown Wax from West Bloomfield, Mi. on 02/28/13 at 07:03 PM ET

joedaiceman's avatar

Ovie is a hack, Have you seen him skate this year? I swear he doesn’t work up a sweat. Babs would make him more miserable than he already is. Not a good idea, not even a sublime idea.

Posted by joedaiceman on 02/28/13 at 07:06 PM ET

jennyquarx's avatar

This is AMAZING. 

Posted by jennyquarx on 02/28/13 at 07:08 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Not a good idea, not even a sublime idea.

Precisely why I said to take it all back right before I said we should do it, because…we should.  This team is getting older and the pieces coming in are not the kind of difference makers we need. If there was ever a time for risk, it’s now.  Screw everything else.  I want my cup back.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 02/28/13 at 07:12 PM ET

statelouis26's avatar

I normally enjoy the reading but this post is kinda aimless and without a discernible point.  Not to mention I vehemently disagree with this comment

who would have thought our blue line would look pretty good and we’d still have defensemen to spare if the right deal came along?

Is this sarcasm or am I watching the Kzoo wings by mistake.  Although the Wings have played more games than most of the Western Conference team, it’s not by much.  They are 13th out of 15 teams in goals against and 10th in shots allowed just ahead the likes of Dallas, Columbus, and Colorado.  Their penalty kill is also 13th in the Western Conference, ahead of only Anaheim and Calgary.  I only used WC stats b/c that is the only teams the Wings will play against this year.  The defense is not the worst but it sure as hell is not good.

Posted by statelouis26 from Detroit, MI on 02/28/13 at 07:13 PM ET

Avatar

I like the targeting of Ovie, but it’s a huge, huge HUGE risk.  Honestly, I don’t think Detroit could ever make the trade financially, and I don’t think Washington could ever make the trade and survive the PR hit.

If it were me, and I was a third party arbiter and not either GM who would have to worry about being fired 11 seconds after the deal was made final, I’d throw Franzen, Fil, White and a 2015 #1 to Washington for Ovie.  Washington is saved a ton of dough, they sort of replace Ovie, and they have some expiring assets to move in subsequent deals if they want.

Detroit gets a legit elite goalscorer, probably the purest goalscorer of the current generation.

They also get their cap good and blow’d up for the foreseaable future, which is the risky part.  It can, however, be done:

CAPGEEK.COM USER GENERATED ROSTER
My Custom Lineup
FORWARDS
Alex Ovechkin ($9.538m) / Pavel Datsyuk ($6.700m) / Mikael Samuelsson ($3.000m)
Todd Bertuzzi ($2.075m) / Henrik Zetterberg ($6.083m) / Damien Brunner ($3.500m)
Justin Abdelkader ($1.800m) / Darren Helm ($2.125m) / Gustav Nyquist ($1.200m)
Jordin Tootoo ($1.900m) / Joakim Andersson ($1.200m) / Tomas Tatar ($0.840m)
Patrick Eaves ($1.200m) / Cory Emmerton ($0.533m)
DEFENSEMEN
Niklas Kronwall ($4.750m) / Kyle Quincey ($3.775m)
Jonathan Ericsson ($3.250m) / Carlo Colaiacovo ($2.500m)
Brian Lashoff ($0.725m) / Brendan Smith ($0.827m)
Jakub Kindl ($1.050m) /
GOALTENDERS
Jonas Gustavsson ($1.500m)
Jimmy Howard ($4.000m)
———
CAPGEEK.COM TOTALS (follow @capgeek on Twitter)
(these totals are compiled with the bonus cushion)
SALARY CAP: $64,300,000; CAP PAYROLL: $63,912,003; BONUSES: $160,000
CAP SPACE (23-man roster): $547,997

That’s a full 23 man with raises to Howard, Brunner, Andersson, and Nyqvist.

Risky, but doable.  I’d say around a 1 millionth of a percent chance of happening.

Posted by HockeyinHD on 02/28/13 at 07:16 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

I would love Ovi on the Wings.  I know…I’m a shameless fan but to see him play with Datsyuk…oooh…..

I still believe in him. I think the Western conference would fit his style better if I’m allowed to dream.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 02/28/13 at 07:16 PM ET

Hockeytown Wax's avatar

I remember, a few years ago, Donald S. Cherry criticized Ovechkin for playing too physical. He claimed that someone of his talent level would burn hiimself out way too early in his career to be hitting that much.

Today we are now calling him a floater.

Maybe a trade would be best for him ... get him into a different system with a different coach that will let him play however he feels comfortable.  If that includes running over a few people every shift then so be it.

Personally, I think Detroit need someone like the Ovie of old and if Babs and Datsyuk and Hank can convince him to crash & bang a bit more maybe that’ll get his head into the game more and he’ll start scoring again.

Its just a theory but, for the first time in my life I’m going to say .... Don Cherry was wrong.  Changing a guys game like that might end up ruining his career.

Posted by Hockeytown Wax from West Bloomfield, Mi. on 02/28/13 at 07:19 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Posted by
     
    statelouis26
     
    from Detroit, MI on 02/28/13 at 06:13 PM ET

If the Wings could get a fuching PP Goal on the road, things would be different. You’d see that the Defense is not completely horrible. They are doing some good things.. There are some that still make me chug my beer like it’s water though. But all in all, it’s not that bad.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 07:20 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Posted by
     
    hockeychic
     
    from Denver, CO on 02/28/13 at 06:16 PM ET

What happens if the Wings go to the East next year? Ovie would be right back in it.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 07:21 PM ET

gowings's avatar

But once #13 is gone….who will inspire Ovi?

Posted by gowings from MTL on 02/28/13 at 07:21 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Someone else is a nimrod who likes to type.

Could you possibly narrow that down a bit?

Posted by calquake on 02/28/13 at 07:23 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Is this sarcasm or am I watching the Kzoo wings by mistake.  Although the Wings have played more games than most of the Western Conference team, it’s not by much.  They are 13th out of 15 teams in goals against and 10th in shots allowed just ahead the likes of Dallas, Columbus, and Colorado.  Their penalty kill is also 13th in the Western Conference, ahead of only Anaheim and Calgary.  I only used WC stats b/c that is the only teams the Wings will play against this year.  The defense is not the worst but it sure as hell is not good.

All good points. Holland should still make the deal.  Do I say that vehemently? No. Aimlessly? Of course.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 02/28/13 at 07:23 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

While I’m thinking about it.. One thing we don’t know is.. Would the Caps even take Franzen and Fil? Probably not.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 07:26 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Is this a rebuttal to Milbury’s rant about Ovie last night?

There is enough anectodal evidence on teh Gore that Ovie has a drinking problem (including smelling of alcohol during games) to be wary of acquiring him. That would certainly explain the sharp falloff in his production and work ethic.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 02/28/13 at 07:31 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

I’m sure he’d cozy right on up to Babs.  If we’re taking on crazy contracts can we try to convince the Devil’s they’re bad enough to deal Kovy?

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/28/13 at 07:32 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Chief, you been hitting the bilge water?  That’s just *#$%@& insane.  Mule for 8 and I’m in!

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/28/13 at 07:35 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

A few seasons back while ovechkin was having another monster year I said to myself this:

with the reckless nature that ovechkin throws his body around, going out of his way to create contact, I will be very surprised if he can sustain that kind of play for many seasons.

I think ovechkin is doomed to the same fate of a brilliant, but short career , that forsberg and lindros experienced. I will be surprised if ovechkin ever comes close to the same level of play he showed his first few seasons.

Posted by Down River Dan on 02/28/13 at 07:35 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I remember, a few years ago, Donald S. Cherry criticized Ovechkin for playing too physical. He claimed that someone of his talent level would burn hiimself out way too early in his career to be hitting that much.

Today we are now calling him a floater.

Posted by Hockeytown Wax
from West Bloomfield, Mi. on 02/28/13 at 06:19 PM ET

Could be a painkiller addiction from a nagging injury due to his old playing style?

Something ain’t right with Ovie. Production doesn’t just drop that dramatically unless you’re an addict or you name is Mule.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 02/28/13 at 07:37 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Regardless of the money, I don’t think Ovie (if he has an opinion) would come to Detroit after being with the Caps, (they all act like their on the Hill as in Capital Hill-where they sit and get richer and pass bills and policies and such nonsense obscurity and the average bloke is scrapping by to survive)

anyways, I digress, Ovie wants that glory, the pedistal, to be #1, and we all know who is #1…..

wait for it
.
.
.
Our Beloved Pavel Datsyuk


Lets Go Red Wings!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/28/13 at 07:38 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

What happens if the Wings go to the East next year? Ovie would be right back in it.
Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 06:21 PM ET

Yes, I’m still living in denail about that.  I know it would be good for the Wings and makes sense - just not so good for me.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 02/28/13 at 07:38 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

P.S. So that I am also not considered a hypocrite, the tickets were free courtesy of my insurance agent. So I still have not dropped a dime into the coffers of NHL, Inc. this season.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 02/28/13 at 03:00 PM ET

Really happy you rationalized your way out of whatever corner of a moral dilemma you had backed yourself into!  I don’t think any of The 19 were concerned about it smile

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/28/13 at 07:39 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

Denial - not denail…

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 02/28/13 at 07:39 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Posted by
     
    hockeychic
     
    from Denver, CO on 02/28/13 at 06:38 PM ET

Less games for you to get to see. I can understand that. I truly do. But we all know that the Wings belong in the East. It must be done.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 07:41 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

this post is kinda aimless and without a discernible point. 

Posted by statelouis26 from Detroit, MI on 02/28/13 at 06:13 PM ET

Really?  I don’t think Chief’s point was hard to pick out.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/28/13 at 07:41 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

That’s a full 23 man with raises to Howard, Brunner, Andersson, and Nyqvist.

Risky, but doable.  I’d say around a 1 millionth of a percent chance of happening.

Posted by HockeyinHD on 02/28/13 at 06:16 PM ET

What if we were to buy out Samuellssson?

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/28/13 at 07:44 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Trade for Ovie???

Yes!!!

No!!!

Yes!

No?

Maybe

Yes

No

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 02/28/13 at 07:44 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Ovie wants that glory, the pedistal, to be #1, and we all know who is #1…..

wait for it
.
.
.
Our Beloved Pavel Datsyuk


Lets Go Red Wings!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s chair on 02/28/13 at 06:38 PM ET

That’s quite an excellent point.  Has he or will he ever have that moment where he realizes that he wants to win a Stanley Cup over any personal glory and stats?

And seriously, since last night when I copy and paste anyone’s comment this appears at the bottom.  I’ve been deleting them, but this shows up every time.  Anyone else see this?  Is it just an Apple thing?

- See more at: http://kuklaskorner.com/a2y/comments/kenny-what-now-were-gonna-live-blog-while-you-consider-giving-abbys-number#sthash.gQvaQXcY.dpuf

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/28/13 at 07:50 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

Yesterday someone floated the idea of Fil and White for Fleischmann (sp?).  That’s not a bad move. Put Fleischmann with Pav, bring up Nyquist. That would be a decent line.  Slot Cleary down to a line that suits him (like,the unemployment line). And it still leaves Tick Tock room to grab a defense upgrade if he and Babs decide that don’t like their D as much.

Posted by MoreShoot on 02/28/13 at 07:50 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

How long before Z would have to verbally dress him down and bitch-slap Ovie?

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/28/13 at 07:52 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

And seriously, since last night when I copy and paste anyone’s comment this appears at the bottom.  I’ve been deleting them, but this shows up every time.  Anyone else see this?  Is it just an Apple thing?
- See more at: http://kuklaskorner.com/a2y/comments/kenny-what-now-were-gonna-live-blog-while-you-consider-giving-abbys-number#sthash.gQvaQXcY.dpuf

That only happens when you copy and paste. If you highlight the text you want to copy and click on the quote button, you don’t get that extra BS.

I’m surprised to see it happen on KK/A2Y. The only other place I run across that type of coding is copying and pasting from newspaper sites.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 02/28/13 at 07:54 PM ET

Avatar

How long before Z would have to verbally dress him down and bitch-slap Ovie?

I would assume immediately…if only as part of an initiation rite…and because he’d deserve it.

Posted by godblender on 02/28/13 at 07:55 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Yesterday someone floated the idea of Fil and White for Fleischmann (sp?).  That’s not a bad move. Put Fleischmann with Pav, bring up Nyquist. That would be a decent line.  Slot Cleary down to a line that suits him (like,the unemployment line). And it still leaves Tick Tock room to grab a defense upgrade if he and Babs decide that don’t like their D as much.

Posted by MoreShoot on 02/28/13 at 06:50 PM ET

I meant that as a joke.

Posted by SK77 on 02/28/13 at 08:05 PM ET

Paul's avatar

RWBill, if you have a copy as plain text option, that will work too.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 02/28/13 at 08:05 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

I think it will be hard for anyone to want to trade with the Wings. Not knowing if they will move to the East or stay in the West. Going to make things a little harder on people. But what the Fuch do I know.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 08:06 PM ET

SYF's avatar

You’d give up B.Smith and Brian Lashoff for Ovie?

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 02/28/13 at 08:08 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Posted by SYF from Hutt Funkins

Nope.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 02/28/13 at 08:12 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

You’d give up B.Smith and Brian Lashoff for Ovie?
Posted by SYF from Hutt Funkins on 02/28/13 at 07:08 PM ET

Hell no. Conditional draft picks only. Three third rounders that could escalate to three first rounders if his numbers return to close to where they were.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 02/28/13 at 08:12 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com