I'm pretty sure that when the shit got considerably real whenever the last offseason was, I demanded that Kenny Holland sign Alexander Semin to a one-year ten million dollar deal. Because I know what I'm doing. I know hockey and I watch NHL On The Fly now because we get the NHL Network on the ship and plus I read everything HockeyInHD writes and he's a pharmacist of the most redolent order.
When was that...the actual "offseason"? Last summer? Laura and Mary Ingalls had pranced off to Walnut Grove and the Stress Train was swaying. It was a drunken, troubling, bodacious time.
And I know I told Tick Tock that many millions needed to be spent on Semin because our boy Pavel would reform him, inspire the willowy lad with the tender sensitivities.
In a roundabout way, we signed Damien Brunner instead. Brunner's got 10 goals. Semin ("he's the SNIPER WE NEED KENNY") has 4 in Carolina. Brunner's making less than 2. Semin's pulling in 7 million.
Somebody is a professional GM. Someone else is a nimrod who likes to type.
And the Diggers are getting ballsy. Actually, sit down, discussing trade possibiities. Almost unheard of without organ-I-zational permission.
Who would have thought we'd have excess defensemen? Well, re-phrase...because the Lions have excess defensive backs but they all suck ass so it really doesn't matter. Try this: who would have thought our blue line would look pretty good and we'd still have defensemen to spare if the right deal came along?
Not me. Sheeeeeeiiiit. Not you either, smart guy. Nope. But now we do and the wheels are turning somewhere. So, when you've got one team with a few extra decent (and relatively cheap) d-men...well, you start wondering what might be done to increase the chances of, you know, a Stanley Fuching Cup.
And when you have another team with a superstar whose talent is truly sublime (in all my years of life I've never actually typed or said the word "sublime"...I think I used it right but in keeping with tradition you can stick that dictionary all the way up your St. Louis tail pipe because I'm not looking it up).
I can't help it. I just can't. Capgeek says we have like 13 million to spend if we made a deal today, 32 at the deadline.
I'll just say it: Ovechkin is 28. He makes 10 million...but over like 20 years (actually...gulp...13). He's one of the top 5 most talented players in hockey. Datsyuk would have dramatic effect on him. I'm gonna type this really fast so that you can forget it right after you read it but Kenny Holland should consider trading any one of our defensemen except for Nick Kronwall plus some picks and like a Tatar or a Nyquist and let the Caps keep some of that salary if it's even allowed in this CBA...for Ovechkin. There. I said it. Disregard. I literally feel filthy right now. Stupid. Idiotic idea. Fiscally suicidal. Do it Kenny. Kidding. Horrible suggestion. Seriously, though. Consider it. K. Thanks.
It's an early-starting Live Blog, bitches. I'm sorry for last night. I take full responsibility. I won't mention any of JFH's shutouts ever again. Ever.
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