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Just When We Thought He Couldn’t Get Any Dumber, Dater Proves Us Wrong

Evening 19, a quick post before I settle into today’s episode of Top Gear featuring the sexiest Ferrari since the Dino, the 458 Italia.

What’s not sexy?  Dater’s latest master(batory) post:

Time for another summer top-10 list, and this time it’s my duty to inform the world of the 10 best D-men currently playing in the NHL. This is another task that kept the synapses firing a lot longer than they were supposed to Thursday night…

It’s pretty elementary stuff, but the two things I rate higher than anything for D-men are: effectiveness at making the first pass or decision with the puck in their own zone, and how well they keep the play flowing from the point at the other end. Basically, the best D-men to me are the best passers of the puck, in every area of the ice.

Oh boy, here we go again.  What would be an “elementary” exercise turns into idiotic drooling from the start.

Pop quiz, bitches, who would you say is the NHL’s #1 defenceman?

If you have an IQ over 50, the answer would have to be Nick Lidstrom.  I don’t care how old he is, Lidstrom remains The Perfect Human and the league’s best blue-liner.

As we know, Dater’s intellectual faculties lie somewhere between wearing a helmet everyday and continually drooling on himself.  I can’t think of an NHL columnist that puts less thought into what he writes than Master Dater.  Want proof?  Let’s take his latest top-10 list as Exhibit 592 in Dater’s competency hearing.  Tell us, who is the league’s best defenceman, Dater?

1. Drew Doughty, L.A. Kings - He hasn’t paid his dues entirely. He’s too young. His rookie year was really just average. Those are the objections that will be made by some with this choice. But last season the 20-year-old showed what made him a can’t-miss kid coming out of Guelph of the OHL. Forget just the numbers - 82 game, 16-43-59 and plus-20. He showed everyone at the Olympics what a leader looks like, and if he hadn’t hurt a wrist in Game 1 of the opening round of the playoffs against Vancouver, the Kings might have easily won that series. Doughty gets the puck out of his end, and puts it in the net at the other end. He was the youngest player to get a Norris Trophy finalist nomination in league history, other than Orr.

Wow.  I am speechless.  Well almost…

If Drew Doughty is the league’s best defenceman, Rosby is the league’s best two-way forward.  While I do agree that Doughty is a stud, he has a LONG way to go before he tops any competent top-10 defenceman list.

But maybe Master Dater is being controversial to get page views.  He must come to his senses for the next couple of picks…

2. Duncan Keith, Chicago - There’s a part of me that’s suspicious, that thinks he had his career year already and can’t possibly keep it up going forward. But you just can’t ignore the numbers: 26:35 a game (second-highest in the league), 69 points and a plus-21 to go with a Stanley Cup and a Norris Trophy. It’s all there. Yeah, your scoring numbers as a D-man are always inflated on a team with great forwards. But that’s a chicken-and-egg argument.

3. Zdeno Chara, Boston - Did he slip a little last year? Yeah, a little. The goals dropped from 19 to 7, the play just a little less dynamic from his Norris Trophy showing the year before. But he’s still one of the handful of D-men nobody wants to play against. He’s just….so….big. And he plays with heart and soul.

To paraphrase the above, part of me is suspicious that Dater is nothing more than a million retarded monkeys hacking away at typewriters, while being slowly suffocated by nitrous oxide, who got themselves a forum on the network that Li’l Gary loves website.  Seriously.  What sane hockey fan would list Doughty, Keith, and Chara as the top three defenceman?  I can’t think of any. 

While Master Dater is enamored by Chara’s big stick, the rest of us see him for the half-useless D-man he is.  You do not build a winning team around Chara.  But what about The Perfect Human?

4. Nick Lidstrom, Detroit - While it’s tempting to want to drop him lower and cite his advancing age, the fact is he is still always the smartest player on the ice and posts better numbers than guys a lot younger. His slap shot has probably lost a couple miles an hour in the last couple years and there are times he’s not always in the perfect defensive position anymore. But he’s still one of the best, period.

Lidstrom is not one of the best, he is the best.  End of discussion.  And no point reading any further in Dater’s article, I’d rather have J.J. bring out the curling iron again than suffer through more of Dater’s ramblings.

Moving on, one of our many sexy grrrls at A2Y posted this an hour ago:

Posted by Nati on 08/01/10 at 10:32 PM ET
I was visiting Chicago this weekend and didn’t realize the Hawks were having their little convention thing downtown. Saturday I went for a run in the city and I was wearing a wings shirt. As I was nearing the hotel where the convention was I started realizing that there were a lot of hawk fans (er.. people in blackhawk merchandise) walking around. Basically became a pretty hostile environment for me. A lot of jeering, glaring, yelling, a couple middle fingers and when I got real close to hotel one guy attempted to spit at me. Really pleasant people those hawk fans. It was actually pretty amusing to see how worked up these people got over a red wings shirt.

To think the other day I almost felt sorry for the Chickenhawks bandwagon.  In an absolutely pathetic display, the bandwagon focused their rage on that which will always be greater than they are, a Red Wings fan.  If the Chickenhawks bandwagon would remove their heads from their asses, they would redirect their anger and vitriol to the management that raped their roster due to salary-cap mismanagement.  Don’t worry Nati, by the time you return to Chicago their bandwagon will have dissolved and you will have no trouble walking down the streets in anonymity again.

Malik, the showoff, is making great observatins (again) in this post which has a nice piece about Landon Ferraro before turning to salary cap talk:

the NHL allowed two of the five teams it actually markets to fans, the Chicago Blackhawks and Vancouver Canucks, to sign Marian Hossa and Roberto Luongo to five-year contracts…

Moreover, and perhaps most disturbingly, Gary Bettman, Bill Daly and the league seem to believe in preferential treatment toward their biggest allies during the lockout, like Boston Bruins owner and Board of Governors president Jeremy Jacobs, but newcomers without preferential status deserve the league’s scorn…

In other words, as we already know, some teams are more equal than others.

You know when Malik busts out an Animal Farm reference, he is getting hot under the collar.  He doesn’t stop there:

I think that the NHL’s acting both arrogantly and stupidly in this situation.  Shame on the NHL for daring to assume that its players and fans will fold in short order and give into a league that chooses to break its own rules and believes in periodically burning its village down in order to save it.

So I’ll conclude with something I never thought I’d say aloud (or type): Gary Bettman, you’re acting predictably like your little whiny spoiled brat self, and you deserve a five-minute major and a game misconduct for your immature actions.

Take a clue from Landon Ferraro and start acting like a grown-up instead of throwing yet another temper tantrum because you can’t get your way in imposing term limits upon contracts in search of your equally stupid dream of imposing utter parity upon 30 teams, 700 players and millions of paying fans who are the reasons why your league’s consistently earned over two and a half billion dollars while weathering a worldwide recession.

Is it wrong to declare my (hetero) man-love for Malik?  I didn’t think so.  I can’t quit you, George.  Call me.

Finally, where one blogger leaves, Hollis, another moves in to take his place.  Long-time member of the 19, and our arbiter of logical fallacies, J.J. from Kansas is wearing a new shirt.  And it’s not because Emma spat up on him.

J.J. has started to blog at Winging It In Motown.  You know, the non-juvenile popular Red Wings blog.  In true A2Y fashion, J.J. managed to get Bubba’s fans riled up in his very first post.  Keep it up, bitch, we’re looking forward to reading more from one of A2Y’s favourite sons.

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Comments

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J.J. from Kansas's avatar

So… you see Lidstrom for 82 games (give or take) and you see, by your own admission, other defensemen “ for one game.” And that’s an accurate way of rating one over the other?

Absolutely.

You see, since it happens to multiple players (assuming that we’re even going with the concept that I do truly only see these guys once a season, because the Wings play ALL western conference teams no fewer than four times and I watch more than 200 games during any given season), I feel very confident assuming this.  Here’s why:

If I see Drew Doughty make a mistake in one game during a season (taking himself out of position to lay a needless check, for instance), and then later on I see Duncan Keith cross-over the wrong way and lose track of a dumped-in puck, and then later I see Zdeno Chara screen his own goalie, these are all mistakes that you’re not likely to see Lidstrom do a grand total of five times a season.

If I see these guys do this in the ONE game per year I see them and that’s the ONE chance I’d have to see those mistakes, then I must be the luckiest guy on earth to see all these rare mistakes in such a small sampling of these better players’ games, right?

Even luckier, considering that they’re making these mistakes against a team captained by Lidstrom, no?

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/02/10 at 08:01 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Or… maybe I can go ahead and assume that these three “better” defensemen make those kinds of mistakes more often than Lidstrom does?

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/02/10 at 08:09 PM ET

Claude from Colorado's avatar

@J.J. from Kansas,

Fair points, but with all due respect, I disagree that no more than four games is a fair sample to judge a player with.

Posted by Claude from Colorado on 08/02/10 at 08:17 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Why is it that “best this” or “best that” always seems to based on performance from the season just finished?  Do all these writer/bloggers suffer from “short term memory” disease?  Greatness is defined by excellence over a period of time.  Not one playoff, not one season but rather a body of work over many seasons.  If Dater had stated that his list was for the best defensemen last season then perhaps he’d have some credibility.  I seriously doubt, after TPH retires, that I will ever see a better hockey player, let alone defenseman, to play the game in the modern era.

Posted by calquake on 08/02/10 at 08:20 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

All I can say is that Lidstrom is the best defenseman I’ve ever seen, and sometimes it’s easy to understand why other fanbases don’t see it.

For instance, if a Wild fan watched the H2H game, he might think Lidstrom is an awful shooter because his shot would go three feet wide of the target hadn’t Holmstrom deflected the puck. But we, as Wings fans, saw Lidstrom doing the exact same thing two weeks earlier against Calgary, and some other countless times.

That’s the thing with most of Lids’ aspects, since another team’s fan can watch a game and say “Lidstrom had a perfect game”, but we as Wings fans can tell how he does it every single night, and how few and far between are his mistakes.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/02/10 at 08:36 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

@J.J.

I just wanted to say that I have really enjoyed your blog posts.  I’m just too lazy to go make an account there.  Keep up the good work!

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 08/02/10 at 08:40 PM ET

Jeremy from Northport's avatar

JJ from Kans-ass said:

“I watch more than 200 games during any given season”

As long as we’ve been friends JJ, I never told you: I love math.

You watch 200 games over a 6 month season? That means you watch more than 1 game per day.

Each game is 3 hours, give or take a few minutes.

You know what that equals? You are either single, do not have a family that knows you, are a dork, or all of the above.

I mean really, dude. You brag about sitting on your ass in front of the TV everyday for 6 months straight and we’re supposed to take you serious?

Do you like Cheetos or wheat thins best? Double cheeseburger or Whopper? Coke or Pepsi?

I would believe your opinion on these pressing issues based on your professed life style.

Posted by Jeremy from Northport on 08/02/10 at 08:41 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

I mean really, dude. You brag about sitting on your ass in front of the TV everyday for 6 months straight and we’re supposed to take you serious?

Since you think he lives in his mom’s basement, what the hell is he supposed to do?

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 08/02/10 at 08:44 PM ET

Jeremy from Northport's avatar

Good point Mr Fluffy. I like your attitude.

Maybe he’s had too many bong hits too. No, that’s not possible.

Love,
Jeremy.

XOXOXOX

Posted by Jeremy from Northport on 08/02/10 at 08:48 PM ET

Twig in Houston's avatar

Posted by Jeremy from Northport on 08/02/10 at 06:41 PM ET

math is great, but nhl center ice and the dvr are better. they allow you to watch any game without commercials or intermissions meaning 20 minute periods are actually 20 minutes long.

Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 08/02/10 at 08:52 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

  I seriously doubt, after TPH retires, that I will ever see a better hockey player, let alone defenseman, to play the game in the modern era.
Posted by calquake

I have watched a lot of great ones throughout the years.
Al Arbour, Al MacInnes, Coffee, Robinson, Potvin, Park, Pronger,  and many others.
I have to agree with you.
Puck sense and diagnosing the play, Potvin and Robinson would run a close 2nd, but Nik is the best.

And JJ:

My applause to you for actually trying to back up your argument with some data.

Thanks, it was just a quick check of last years stats trying to one up the lazy ass bloggers and commenters hell bent on insulting each other….

I read all your work over at ‘Winging it’ this morning…great work…stay with it..

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 08/02/10 at 08:52 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

I know you’re a pharmacist and all, but don’t go looking for love because lady, you’re in all the wrong places.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 08/02/10 at 08:56 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

While on the subject of legendary Wings.

I plan on re-upping my subscription to hockeystreams this year, just so I can watch all the Tampa Bay games from the archives. 

It is great to finally have an HDMI jack on my laptop to connect with the big flatscreen.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 08/02/10 at 09:02 PM ET

Jeremy from Northport's avatar

HTT said:

“It is great to finally have an HDMI jack on my laptop to connect with the big flatscreen.”

I actually prefer to jack on my lap with some big f-in’ “screens.” Not flat “screens.”

I thought this blog was about hockey? Not self pleasuring…

Let’s go Detroit Red Wings !

Posted by Jeremy from Northport on 08/02/10 at 09:20 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

HTT said:
“It is great to finally have an HDMI jack on my laptop to connect with the big flatscreen.”
I actually prefer to jack on my lap with some big f-in’ “screens.” Not flat “screens.”
I thought this blog was about hockey? Not self pleasuring…

Some of us here have been around awhile and actually know eachother have met more than once and all, this blog is far more than just hockey.  Insulting one of the blog-fathers here isn’t necessary.
And of all things, self pleasuring is nothing new to the 19.
Cal, you hit the nail right on the head. As The Captain ALWAYS said to refute him being called the best Red Wing in the modern era.. he would always say #5 was by far the best hockey player on the team. Period.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 08/02/10 at 10:17 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Confirmed, St. James is nuts:

WTF, lady?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/03/10 at 12:29 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

It’s been changed to 11pm since that print.

http://www.freep.com/article/20100802/SPORTS05/100802064/1053/sports05

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/03/10 at 12:32 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Okay, now it’s on, and I don’t like it:

Mike Modano will join the Red Wings, the Free Press has learned.

The Wings have been in hot pursuit of Modano, flying him in from Dallas a month ago and wooing him over lunch and a Tigers game. He also has suitors in San Jose and Minnesota, but has made up his mind.

“Big announcement Thursday,” Modano sent in a text Monday.

Modano, 40, wouldn’t reveal his hand. But a source with knowledge of the decision, who did not want to upstage the announcement, confirmed that the Westland native was coming home after 20 seasons with the Dallas franchise, where he became the highest-scoring American-born player in NHL history.

General manager Ken Holland would only say that he was hopeful.

“I’m cautiously optimistic,” he said. “When Mike was in Detroit a couple of weeks ago and spent time here, and in all the conversations I’ve had since with him and his agent, Mike Liut, I think they understand all the positives to coming to Detroit.”

Modano has been offered a one-year contract for $1.25 million to center the third line, instantly transforming the Wings into a team with three legitimate scoring lines.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/03/10 at 01:09 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

I’m already spamming, one more won’t hurt. The link: http://www.freep.com/article/20100802/SPORTS05/100802064/1319/Mike-Modano-will-sign-with-the-Red-Wings

And the asdfasdf is still up.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/03/10 at 01:11 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

What the fuch, Freep???

And Khan has it almost confirmed. I don’t know what to think.

http://www.mlive.com/redwings/index.ssf/2010/08/red_wings_make_plenty_of_sense.html

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/03/10 at 01:33 AM ET

Baroque's avatar

This must be what happens when someone spills Tang in the computer and it goes insane.

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 08/03/10 at 01:44 AM ET

D4LRob's avatar

I wonder how much the Freep’s hit count will jump after the article and Twitter shenanigans.

Posted by D4LRob on 08/03/10 at 01:53 AM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

You watch 200 games over a 6 month season? That means you watch more than 1 game per day.

Each game is 3 hours, give or take a few minutes.

Posted by Jeremy from Northport on 08/02/10 at 06:48 PM ET

Not much of a hockey fan are you?  It’s ok, there are lots of people who hate hockey.  Fortunately, the NFL will start back up soon and you’ll have a place where you know what you’re talking about.  3 hours is not 2 1/2 hours and it’s 9 months, not 6; or do you just assume that I stop watching hockey after the regular season is over? What do you take me for, a Blue Jackets fan?  That was a very nice try on doing math there though, slick.  You keep working at it.

@J.J.

I just wanted to say that I have really enjoyed your blog posts.  I’m just too lazy to go make an account there.  Keep up the good work!

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 08/02/10 at 06:40 PM ET

I read all your work over at ‘Winging it’ this morning…great work…stay with it..

Posted by HockeyTownTodd from A. K. A. NostraGrampus on 08/02/10 at 06:52 PM ET

Thank you very much.  This really is a great community.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/03/10 at 02:01 AM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

@ JJ,

I think he means Nascar event, not hockey games.  Those are like 3 hours plus some change.  Seriously though, does anyone remember the last regular season game that ended in regulation and went the full three hours?

And how’d this guy know so much about you?  That you’re single, live in a basement, are unemployed and a total dork…

Weird…

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 08/03/10 at 03:12 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

Cal, you hit the nail right on the head. As The Captain ALWAYS said to refute him being called the best Red Wing in the modern era.. he would always say #5 was by far the best hockey player on the team. Period.

Posted by MOWingsfan19

That moment always impressed me too. Stevie saying that Lidas had been the best player on the team for a long time before he got the 2002 Conn Smythe.

Modano. I’m happy and excited. This should be a fun season.

Posted by Osrt on 08/03/10 at 08:35 AM ET

Lucce's avatar

Modano is still a good center - he is not Big Bert, he is Modano, he can maybe score 20-30 goals. That is good. He will also sign for peanuts.

wink

Posted by Lucce from Kingdom of Zweden on 08/03/10 at 09:29 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

“digging” ?

refs-thumb-250x326-10507.jpg

(Is it October yet?)

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 08/02/10 at 04:23 PM ET

Glad someone caught that.


Man, trolls really suck caulk.  There are some fans of other teams that stop by here that will contribute some non drivel and I dig that.  But the lame ass personal attacks get so fuching old.  I mean, seriously, a guy (or girl) spends time reading and responding to a blog for a team that he hates, and a bunch of people who don’t care what his (or her) opinion is.  And then suggests that JJ is the one that lives in his parents basement, and is a big dork.  I honestly think that is just sad.  Very sad.

As far Modano goes, I’ll believe it when I hear it from Ken Holland.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 08/03/10 at 09:36 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com