Abel to Yzerman
by VooX on 08/02/10 at 01:40 AM ET
Evening 19, a quick post before I settle into today’s episode of Top Gear featuring the sexiest Ferrari since the Dino, the 458 Italia.
What’s not sexy? Dater’s latest master(batory) post:
Time for another summer top-10 list, and this time it’s my duty to inform the world of the 10 best D-men currently playing in the NHL. This is another task that kept the synapses firing a lot longer than they were supposed to Thursday night…
It’s pretty elementary stuff, but the two things I rate higher than anything for D-men are: effectiveness at making the first pass or decision with the puck in their own zone, and how well they keep the play flowing from the point at the other end. Basically, the best D-men to me are the best passers of the puck, in every area of the ice.
Oh boy, here we go again. What would be an “elementary” exercise turns into idiotic drooling from the start.
Pop quiz, bitches, who would you say is the NHL’s #1 defenceman?
If you have an IQ over 50, the answer would have to be Nick Lidstrom. I don’t care how old he is, Lidstrom remains The Perfect Human and the league’s best blue-liner.
As we know, Dater’s intellectual faculties lie somewhere between wearing a helmet everyday and continually drooling on himself. I can’t think of an NHL columnist that puts less thought into what he writes than Master Dater. Want proof? Let’s take his latest top-10 list as Exhibit 592 in Dater’s competency hearing. Tell us, who is the league’s best defenceman, Dater?
1. Drew Doughty, L.A. Kings - He hasn’t paid his dues entirely. He’s too young. His rookie year was really just average. Those are the objections that will be made by some with this choice. But last season the 20-year-old showed what made him a can’t-miss kid coming out of Guelph of the OHL. Forget just the numbers - 82 game, 16-43-59 and plus-20. He showed everyone at the Olympics what a leader looks like, and if he hadn’t hurt a wrist in Game 1 of the opening round of the playoffs against Vancouver, the Kings might have easily won that series. Doughty gets the puck out of his end, and puts it in the net at the other end. He was the youngest player to get a Norris Trophy finalist nomination in league history, other than Orr.
Wow. I am speechless. Well almost…
If Drew Doughty is the league’s best defenceman, Rosby is the league’s best two-way forward. While I do agree that Doughty is a stud, he has a LONG way to go before he tops any competent top-10 defenceman list.
But maybe Master Dater is being controversial to get page views. He must come to his senses for the next couple of picks…
2. Duncan Keith, Chicago - There’s a part of me that’s suspicious, that thinks he had his career year already and can’t possibly keep it up going forward. But you just can’t ignore the numbers: 26:35 a game (second-highest in the league), 69 points and a plus-21 to go with a Stanley Cup and a Norris Trophy. It’s all there. Yeah, your scoring numbers as a D-man are always inflated on a team with great forwards. But that’s a chicken-and-egg argument.
3. Zdeno Chara, Boston - Did he slip a little last year? Yeah, a little. The goals dropped from 19 to 7, the play just a little less dynamic from his Norris Trophy showing the year before. But he’s still one of the handful of D-men nobody wants to play against. He’s just….so….big. And he plays with heart and soul.
To paraphrase the above, part of me is suspicious that Dater is nothing more than a million retarded monkeys hacking away at typewriters, while being slowly suffocated by nitrous oxide, who got themselves a forum on the network that Li’l Gary loves website. Seriously. What sane hockey fan would list Doughty, Keith, and Chara as the top three defenceman? I can’t think of any.
While Master Dater is enamored by Chara’s big stick, the rest of us see him for the half-useless D-man he is. You do not build a winning team around Chara. But what about The Perfect Human?
4. Nick Lidstrom, Detroit - While it’s tempting to want to drop him lower and cite his advancing age, the fact is he is still always the smartest player on the ice and posts better numbers than guys a lot younger. His slap shot has probably lost a couple miles an hour in the last couple years and there are times he’s not always in the perfect defensive position anymore. But he’s still one of the best, period.
Lidstrom is not one of the best, he is the best. End of discussion. And no point reading any further in Dater’s article, I’d rather have J.J. bring out the curling iron again than suffer through more of Dater’s ramblings.
Moving on, one of our many sexy grrrls at A2Y posted this an hour ago:
Posted by Nati on 08/01/10 at 10:32 PM ET
I was visiting Chicago this weekend and didn’t realize the Hawks were having their little convention thing downtown. Saturday I went for a run in the city and I was wearing a wings shirt. As I was nearing the hotel where the convention was I started realizing that there were a lot of hawk fans (er.. people in blackhawk merchandise) walking around. Basically became a pretty hostile environment for me. A lot of jeering, glaring, yelling, a couple middle fingers and when I got real close to hotel one guy attempted to spit at me. Really pleasant people those hawk fans. It was actually pretty amusing to see how worked up these people got over a red wings shirt.
To think the other day I almost felt sorry for the Chickenhawks bandwagon. In an absolutely pathetic display, the bandwagon focused their rage on that which will always be greater than they are, a Red Wings fan. If the Chickenhawks bandwagon would remove their heads from their asses, they would redirect their anger and vitriol to the management that raped their roster due to salary-cap mismanagement. Don’t worry Nati, by the time you return to Chicago their bandwagon will have dissolved and you will have no trouble walking down the streets in anonymity again.
Malik, the showoff, is making great observatins (again) in this post which has a nice piece about Landon Ferraro before turning to salary cap talk:
the NHL allowed two of the five teams it actually markets to fans, the Chicago Blackhawks and Vancouver Canucks, to sign Marian Hossa and Roberto Luongo to five-year contracts…
Moreover, and perhaps most disturbingly, Gary Bettman, Bill Daly and the league seem to believe in preferential treatment toward their biggest allies during the lockout, like Boston Bruins owner and Board of Governors president Jeremy Jacobs, but newcomers without preferential status deserve the league’s scorn…
In other words, as we already know, some teams are more equal than others.
You know when Malik busts out an Animal Farm reference, he is getting hot under the collar. He doesn’t stop there:
I think that the NHL’s acting both arrogantly and stupidly in this situation. Shame on the NHL for daring to assume that its players and fans will fold in short order and give into a league that chooses to break its own rules and believes in periodically burning its village down in order to save it.
So I’ll conclude with something I never thought I’d say aloud (or type): Gary Bettman, you’re acting predictably like your little whiny spoiled brat self, and you deserve a five-minute major and a game misconduct for your immature actions.
Take a clue from Landon Ferraro and start acting like a grown-up instead of throwing yet another temper tantrum because you can’t get your way in imposing term limits upon contracts in search of your equally stupid dream of imposing utter parity upon 30 teams, 700 players and millions of paying fans who are the reasons why your league’s consistently earned over two and a half billion dollars while weathering a worldwide recession.
Is it wrong to declare my (hetero) man-love for Malik? I didn’t think so. I can’t quit you, George. Call me.
Finally, where one blogger leaves, Hollis, another moves in to take his place. Long-time member of the 19, and our arbiter of logical fallacies, J.J. from Kansas is wearing a new shirt. And it’s not because Emma spat up on him.
J.J. has started to blog at Winging It In Motown. You know, the non-juvenile popular Red Wings blog. In true A2Y fashion, J.J. managed to get Bubba’s fans riled up in his very first post. Keep it up, bitch, we’re looking forward to reading more from one of A2Y’s favourite sons.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com