Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

It’s Not Too Rough To Feed You and The Main Hatchway’s Still Stable

Al Gore won’t let me have the internet tonite so I’m flying blind, unable to deliver my usual stat-heavy, fact-based, unbiased lead in to yet another “most important regular season game of the year.”

It’s kind of liberating, really. Anything I’m about to say can be quibbled with and any grand proclamations can be refuted by me after the fact because I have no means to research a damn thing.  So, with that little built-in alibi, I can say this with great confidence.

This is precisely the kind of game the Wings win.  They dig “statement” games and always have.  The bitter bitch Blues fans, cranky because they haven’t won jack shit in forty years of existence, are undoubtedly feeling as if this is their year.  The one season they can expect their team to perform for the porky prick who will undoubtedly crush their very souls next season.  Winning for Ken Hitchcock is a nifty experience, but let the wheels wobble just a bit and wait for the emotional pain to wash over them in spades.  This, say Blues fans, has absolutely got to be their year.

No sane outsider south of Saskatchewan feels the Wings would have a shot in a 7-gamer against this team. Nobody.  Nobody outside us, the transplants and the tinfoil hatters, those of us deployed, tip tapping our way through another Kansas or Oklahoma spring.  Nobody outside the 19 of you seriously believe anything but sadness would await The Greatest Franchise In All of Sport if the playoffs started today.  And deed down where the drunken sadness lives, a lot of us would be hard-pressed to disagree with that.

But, curiously, the playoffs don’t start today.  Fortunately two critical games against baby butthole brothers remain and each one carries with it a chance for this team to regain the confidence baby Jesus, that adorable, drooling, swaddled and pink skinned, little bundle of promise, told us the Wings would have when April came she will.

Should the Wings win out and enter the playoffs with or without home-ice, we might be looking at something interesting.  Beat Chicago and St. Louis convincingly and the magical Swagger might just be back where it belongs.

So, it starts tonite. It must.  It starts tonite because a win tonite erases just a bit of that road-ice doubt.  A win tonite reminds the Blues what they are: bitches. Wing bitches and nothing more. 

Wings win tonite because that’s how it needs to begin, this last-minute rebirth, this frigging requiem to save a season that once held so much promise.  I don’t predict a Wing win out of blind, sick hope.  No. I say it because these are the kinds of games these guys have won for years, the games that leave peckerheads saying they wrote Detroit off a minute too soon.

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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calquake's avatar

How is you BiL doing?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/04/12 at 07:33 PM ET

He’s got a couple month re-hab in front of him but if he whines I told him he can hit the bricks.

Posted by calquake on 04/04/12 at 09:38 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Babcock says Hitch hasn’t been pleased with his team and that’s great because we need a good, hard, game.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/04/12 at 09:38 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Good one, Captain.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 07:38 PM ET

Low hanging fruit.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:39 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from home of the 1925 Stanley Cup Champs on 04/04/12 at 07:29 PM ET

Holy Crap!

Well we’re 1-0 with my Mad Men avatar.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/04/12 at 09:41 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

We could try scoring first, just for a change of pace.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/04/12 at 09:41 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

He’s got a couple month re-hab in front of him but if he whines I told him he can hit the bricks.

Posted by calquake on 04/04/12 at 07:38 PM ET

Compassionate.
tongue wink

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:41 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

The Blues have had a surprising season.
Anyone wonder if the drug-testing is getting too lax?

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 09:42 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

We could try scoring first, just for a change of pace.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/04/12 at 07:41 PM ET

wHERE’S tHE fUN iN tHAT?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:42 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Captain Kangaroo shaved his stash.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:43 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Compassionate.
tongue wink

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 07:41 PM ET

I may be going to hell but I’ll be rewarded with a large ice cube to sit on.

Posted by calquake on 04/04/12 at 09:43 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Blow the fuching whistle.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:44 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Yikes.  Careful Kindle.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/04/12 at 09:44 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Geebuz Yak

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/04/12 at 09:44 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Super huge zebra suckage already.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:44 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

damn thumbnail

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 09:45 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Too much close stuff here. Clean it up boys.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 09:45 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Two blatant trips and no calls? Looks like the NHl already fired up the hot line to the On-Ice Officials Lounge

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:45 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

James.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/04/12 at 09:45 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

wINGS lOOK gEARED uP fOR tHIS oNE

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/04/12 at 09:46 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

Nyquist.  Awesome.

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 09:46 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Oh my.  Datsyuk almost….

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/04/12 at 09:46 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Pavel/Nike. Awesome

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 09:46 PM ET

scotts0's avatar

Dats and Nike work really really well together.

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/04/12 at 09:47 PM ET

Avatar

Guess we’re not calling penalties tonight.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/04/12 at 09:47 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

I’m here bitches.  Where are the Wings?


Oooooh, Pasha.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/04/12 at 09:47 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

At least Nike is ready

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/04/12 at 09:47 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

What a display by The Prestige.  Nyquist and Pavel magic.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 04/04/12 at 09:47 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Two blatant trips and no calls? Looks like the NHl already fired up the hot line to the On-Ice Officials Lounge

They need to know who they can trust in the playoffs

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 09:47 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Yak with another unforced turnover - - WTF

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/04/12 at 09:48 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I’m here bitches.  Where are the Wings?

Oooooh, Pasha.
Posted by ITDeuce from The Land of Ice and Snow on 04/04/12 at 07:47 PM ET

Pavs and Nike are presenta and accounted for. Everyone else is MIA

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:48 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Late on the whistle again.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:48 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Wassup bitches?  I’ve already killed more brain cells than Mike Emrick has left.

America’s Oldest Brewery

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/04/12 at 09:49 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Hudler working the front of the net?

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/04/12 at 09:50 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Fuching Ericsson.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 04/04/12 at 09:50 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Streaming the 97.1 audio, so a minute or so behind live action.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/04/12 at 09:50 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Bitchcock looks terrible. Seriously. He does not look in good health.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:51 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

No one picking up passes today. Fix that.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 09:51 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

They’re stll talking about a hit on Homer?

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/04/12 at 09:52 PM ET

scotts0's avatar

YES, ITS POWER PLAY TIME!!!!!!!!!!11

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/04/12 at 09:52 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Whiskey dick ahead

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:52 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com