Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

It’s Not Too Rough To Feed You and The Main Hatchway’s Still Stable

Al Gore won’t let me have the internet tonite so I’m flying blind, unable to deliver my usual stat-heavy, fact-based, unbiased lead in to yet another “most important regular season game of the year.”

It’s kind of liberating, really. Anything I’m about to say can be quibbled with and any grand proclamations can be refuted by me after the fact because I have no means to research a damn thing.  So, with that little built-in alibi, I can say this with great confidence.

This is precisely the kind of game the Wings win.  They dig “statement” games and always have.  The bitter bitch Blues fans, cranky because they haven’t won jack shit in forty years of existence, are undoubtedly feeling as if this is their year.  The one season they can expect their team to perform for the porky prick who will undoubtedly crush their very souls next season.  Winning for Ken Hitchcock is a nifty experience, but let the wheels wobble just a bit and wait for the emotional pain to wash over them in spades.  This, say Blues fans, has absolutely got to be their year.

No sane outsider south of Saskatchewan feels the Wings would have a shot in a 7-gamer against this team. Nobody.  Nobody outside us, the transplants and the tinfoil hatters, those of us deployed, tip tapping our way through another Kansas or Oklahoma spring.  Nobody outside the 19 of you seriously believe anything but sadness would await The Greatest Franchise In All of Sport if the playoffs started today.  And deed down where the drunken sadness lives, a lot of us would be hard-pressed to disagree with that.

But, curiously, the playoffs don’t start today.  Fortunately two critical games against baby butthole brothers remain and each one carries with it a chance for this team to regain the confidence baby Jesus, that adorable, drooling, swaddled and pink skinned, little bundle of promise, told us the Wings would have when April came she will.

Should the Wings win out and enter the playoffs with or without home-ice, we might be looking at something interesting.  Beat Chicago and St. Louis convincingly and the magical Swagger might just be back where it belongs.

So, it starts tonite. It must.  It starts tonite because a win tonite erases just a bit of that road-ice doubt.  A win tonite reminds the Blues what they are: bitches. Wing bitches and nothing more. 

Wings win tonite because that’s how it needs to begin, this last-minute rebirth, this frigging requiem to save a season that once held so much promise.  I don’t predict a Wing win out of blind, sick hope.  No. I say it because these are the kinds of games these guys have won for years, the games that leave peckerheads saying they wrote Detroit off a minute too soon.

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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bezukov's avatar

Well at least Kronwall earned that holding the stick penalty, albeit two minutes after his penalty expired.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/04/12 at 10:41 PM ET

Avatar

Guess Kronwall needs to be decapitated for it to be a penalty.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/04/12 at 10:41 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

I know, shut whore mouth and all, but I doubt I could care less about this game now…don’t care about the win…just get out alive.

What the fuch, Gary, Ass?

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/04/12 at 10:41 PM ET

scotts0's avatar

Um, how is that not a penalty on Steen for horsetying Kronner?

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/04/12 at 10:41 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Really nice give-n-go by Yak and Kronners. And continuous Gigantic zebra suckage.

Horse collar on Kronner. No call.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 10:42 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

Emrick called that rodeo-chokedown a battle.

(but i still hate kronwall)

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 10:42 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

WTF was that?? since when can you horse-collar a guy?

The new NHL.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/04/12 at 10:42 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Wow….Johnny using his size for once.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/04/12 at 10:42 PM ET

HockeyFanOhio's avatar

And another super-slow whistle for Howard.

Posted by HockeyFanOhio from Central Ohio on 04/04/12 at 10:43 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Geebuz

nice quick whistle for Jimmy

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/04/12 at 10:43 PM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

That was the most blatant pile of steaming officiating sh!t I have ever seen. Practically decapitated him.

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 04/04/12 at 10:43 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Fuching late, late, whistles.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 10:43 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

don’t care about the win…just get out alive.

Not worried about being able to beat these bitches in the playoffs, but definitely worried about playing them.

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 10:43 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Remember when Mule used to score on nothing plays like that?

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 10:44 PM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

The good news - Mule seems on tonight

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 04/04/12 at 10:44 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Remember when Mule used to score on nothing plays like that?

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 08:44 PM ET

Fixt

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/04/12 at 10:44 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Dirty puke filth bitch.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 10:45 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Get mad, Bertuzzi. Break someone’s neck. Illitch will take care of your family.

Oh…wait…

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/04/12 at 10:45 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

Remember when Mule used to score on nothing plays like that?

In the regular season?  No.

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 10:45 PM ET

scotts0's avatar

Man, what I would do to have Bertuzzi circa ‘03.

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/04/12 at 10:45 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Holding on Pav…no call.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/04/12 at 10:45 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Do this.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 04/04/12 at 10:46 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

Man, what I would do to have Bertuzzi circa ‘03.

Oh yeah.  Not like it brought my boys a stigma that they still haven’t lived down.

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 10:46 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Goddammit get someone in the slot.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/04/12 at 10:47 PM ET

Avatar

Too many passes

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/04/12 at 10:47 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

NyQuist named to All AHL rookie team, says Ken Kal.  7 points in 15 NHL games.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/04/12 at 10:47 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Well at least that looked like a power play.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/04/12 at 10:47 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

Oh my god.  I think I just saw a Wings PP.

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 10:47 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Damn they’‘ve got that collapse defense thing down.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 10:47 PM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

Jimmah!

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 04/04/12 at 10:48 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Not bad. Wings are getting fired up.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 10:48 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Not so sure Jimmy is rusty anymore.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/04/12 at 10:48 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Jejejejimmmah

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/04/12 at 10:48 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Remember when Mule used to score?

Fixt.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/04/12 at 10:48 PM ET

scotts0's avatar

Man, what I would do to have Bertuzzi circa ‘03.

Oh yeah.  Not like it brought my boys a stigma that they still haven’t lived down.

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from home of the 1925 Stanley Cup Champs on 04/04/12 at 08:46 PM ET

Pre Steve Moore.  I was just referring more to a player with skill who absolutely would not take shit from anybody on the ice.

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 04/04/12 at 10:48 PM ET

Avatar

Remember when Mule used to do anything?

Fixt.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/04/12 at 08:48 PM ET

Double fixt

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/04/12 at 10:49 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

a player with skill who absolutely would not take shit from anybody on the ice

Ciccarelli

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 10:52 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Klang

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 10:52 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Uncle Mike playing a hunch putting an angry Bert back on the Datsyuk line?

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 10:54 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

They aren’t skating. This is only a matter of time.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/04/12 at 10:54 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com