Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

It’s Just Common Sense…And Science

I’m in between.  I’m no pharmacist. So few people are, with those kind of smarts.  But at the other end of the intelligence spectrum, I’m not so dumb that I’d rank Pavel Datsyuk a mere 15th in my list of top 50 hockey players. 

Woops. Sorry. Feel free to email me if I’ve offended you.  I’ll read it. Seriously.

As far as brain power goes, I’m just mediocre and that’s ok.  But, even if I was a genius Red Wing highly-placed “source”? I wouldn’t be telling anyone that I was interested in any player ever again.  This would not be happening.

Pleiness

The Wings have made an offer to Carlo Colaiacovo according to a someone within the organization.

Detroit has offered him a two-year deal worth $2.7 million a season.

 

Whoever that source is needs to be fired and fired quickly.  Because if it turns out that a Blues castoff with a name I’ll never spell correctly and begs for a nickname in quicker fashion than any past, current or potential Wing in history, turns down an offer from Tick Tock Kenny Holland?  Christ. That’s just ugly.

I can’t even give it serious thought right now. This summer has been so pathetic and a signing like this is such a blue-balling backup to a backup plan.  If I didn’t hate the term “meh” so much, that’s what I’d be saying. Instead…fuch it.  I’m more interested in the fact that someone would actually give voice to a potential deal when all the other potential deals have been sucked down the toilet and blown back up in a vicious, disgusting volcano of waste. 

But hey…Shane Doan says 15 September’s his deadline, boy.  Gotta happen by 15 September, eh?  Because it makes so much sense to sign a deal moments before a lockout.  You’ve waited this long, dumbass. Why rush it?  Why not wait until the new Cap, after the buyouts and all the other bullshit and sign with someone then? What a stupid summer.

And I still think he signs in LA. And not for 30 million over 4, either (still an idiotic idea).

Tyler and Brent.  Whenever anyone says we (Wing bloggers) take ourselves too seriously, the Triple Deke does something like this. Amazing. And awesome.  Gross and ridiculously brilliant.  They remind me of me when I was younger, but with more brains and initiative.

And, yes, I realize this is like the third of the last five blog posts where I’ve read WiiM then commented on the exact stories they posted on their Quick Hits.  It’s August. I’m bored. I’m lazy and I’m doing my best to stay true to my word that I will not discuss the CBA, the lockout or a woman’s mind….all things I don’t understand.

Have a great, great weekend and let me know if you come up with a nickname for….Colai—wait, checking—-covo. 

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

Avatar

At our office, we call him “COCO”.. because you are right, his name is too long and even in French, we still cannot spell his name “or pronounce it” correctly”

Posted by Nathalie from Montreal on 08/24/12 at 04:42 PM ET

Avatar

Oh..and I should say that here in QC “COCO” has several “meanings” that can be either good or bad depending on how you use it in a sentence. So for us “Frenchies” it works perfectly smile

Posted by Nathalie from Montreal on 08/24/12 at 04:45 PM ET

George Malik's avatar

Cola-ia-covo.

Posted by George Malik from South Lyon, MI on 08/24/12 at 04:57 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

But at the other end of the intelligence spectrum, I’m not so dumb that I’d rank Pavel Datsyuk a mere 15th in my list of top 50 hockey players. 

It’s hard to find someone that dumb.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 08/24/12 at 05:04 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Cold-cock-a-yo

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/24/12 at 05:13 PM ET

Vladimir16's avatar

…Shane Doan says 15 September’s his deadline,

Hahahahaha…... Fuch him and fuch his deadlines!

Posted by Vladimir16 from Grand River Valley on 08/24/12 at 05:16 PM ET

Avatar

“Coco” is brazilian for “poop” so… yeah.

Posted by Herm from the office on 08/24/12 at 05:19 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

really wish they’d have went for size and dependability but the guy played against the Wings hard and with an edge, hopefully he brings that playing FOR us.  He’s also no real threat for the top pairing so will help keep Q and E honest.

Really just insurance pick-up.  Kindl will end up odd man out, again.  I think a Covo-Smith pairing could actually be pretty decent though I think by the end of the season Smith is playing 20+ mins a night.  Babs likes to ride producing work horses and that’s exactly what Smith is.

I can’t wait for this guy to play this season. 

As far as our D, we don’t have anyone who’s already a number 1 d-man (Kronners keeps being told he’s got to step up.  He has to prove he’s a number 1)  Might be thin on top-end D.  But our bottom guys are better than most I’d say.  Anybodies game, but Smitty is the Wild Card and I’m betting he delivers

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 08/24/12 at 05:21 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

This summer has been so pathetic and a signing like this is such a blue-balling backup to a backup plan.

How bout a baseball metaphor?

Swing and a Miss?

or maybe a Harwell line:

“Called out for excessive window shopping.”

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 08/24/12 at 05:25 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Fuch it, I’m just gonna watch “Tombstone” 2 or 3 times this weekend.

It’s in my Top 15 movies about Doc Holliday.

Posted by dougie on 08/24/12 at 05:53 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

or maybe a Harwell line:

“Called out for excessive window shopping.”

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 08/24/12 at 03:25 PM ET

or

“he stood there like a house on the side of the road”

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 08/24/12 at 06:13 PM ET

Avatar

Typical pre-apocalyptic rant on how the Red Wings organization has done nothing this summer.
Aside from the Semin mishap I have reason to believe every deal was out of our hands.
Kenny is now working with what he has. Personally I don’t mind bringing this guy in.
I’m intrigued to see how he does in Hockeytown. (fingers crossed that we have a season this year)

Posted by K.mcyle from Grand Rapids on 08/24/12 at 06:15 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Don’t know aboot youze guys but he’ll always be known to me as “Rocky” as in Rocky Colavito.  Plus I’m lazy and that’s the best I can come up with.

Posted by calquake on 08/24/12 at 06:29 PM ET

Chris in Hockey Hell's avatar

That video over at TTD was fantastic. I loved the part about “NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY IN NASHVILLE!”  the best.

That and the Two Girls, One Cup music during the Maple Leafs part was priceless.

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from Ann Arbor, MI but LIVING in Columbia, TN on 08/24/12 at 06:39 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Hya Bitches.  i would rather have Vishnovosky than Cold-duck a vo. But what the hell do I know?

Just had a shoulder done with more damage than expected.  Had a torn bicep,labrum and rotator cuff along with a 10 millimeter impingment. No hockey until winter with this sling for 6-8 weeks . Could be worse I guess with a lockout by the owners. Thanks Gary Ass.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 08/24/12 at 07:37 PM ET

BrendonR's avatar

begs for a nickname

Gotta be Carlos.  And a big ‘no, thank you’ to Carlos in the Winged Wheel.  There’s got to be better options out there.

Posted by BrendonR on 08/24/12 at 07:37 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Don’t bother learning his name, let alone give him a nickname.  Carlo is fragile, he’ll spend a lot of time injured because of the most ridiculous incident.  Farm Rule: Don’t name the ones you know aren’t going to make it.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 08/24/12 at 10:16 PM ET

snafu's avatar

I thought when he was with the Leafs the fans called him Coca-Cola.

Posted by snafu from North America on 08/24/12 at 10:30 PM ET

Avatar

Why all the negative words about Colaiacovo? Give the dude a break. He’s a professional Hockey player. Remember Kenny has offered him a contract. If your dishing the guy , your dishing Mr. Holland. Show some class people.

Posted by rayzredwing on 08/24/12 at 11:48 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

There’s that word again.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/25/12 at 01:12 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Baby Carlos, from The Hangover, one of the funniest movies since “Airplane”.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 08/25/12 at 04:13 AM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Spankin’ his wenis

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 08/25/12 at 09:00 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

begs for a nickname in quicker fashion than any past, current or potential Wing in history,


E-coli?

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!! In ‘13?

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 08/25/12 at 09:13 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

The Emperor said the site upgrade has been installed.

yay!

now, on with the season ... right? ... right? ... anyone?

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 08/26/12 at 03:59 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Every time we played the Blows, I always wondered who this Holywackamole guy was.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 08/26/12 at 08:23 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Holy sheet!

Note:  running time is over two hours long.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 08/27/12 at 12:22 PM ET

Thunderpriest's avatar

Well, thanks to Herm, BrendonR, 4 hours of sleep and a typically wandering tangential thought process, I will be calling him Dirty Sanchez regardless of the sweater he wears. Couldn’t get it outta my head now whether I wanted to or not.
smile

Posted by Thunderpriest on 08/27/12 at 12:36 PM ET

Cal's avatar

, I will be calling him Dirty Sanchez regardless of the sweater he wears

It’s suddenly a shame we did not sign Hot Carle.

Posted by Cal on 08/27/12 at 04:41 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Well, thanks to Herm, BrendonR, 4 hours of sleep and a typically wandering tangential thought process, I will be calling him Dirty Sanchez regardless of the sweater he wears. Couldn’t get it outta my head now whether I wanted to or not.

And we have a winna!

Posted by monkey from Finland on 08/27/12 at 05:40 PM ET

dougie's avatar

‘Bama by 14.

ROLL TIDE!!

Posted by dougie on 09/01/12 at 06:53 AM ET

monkey's avatar

‘Bama by 14.

ROLL TIDE!!

You’re dead to me.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 09/01/12 at 03:38 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Hey, I don’t remember responding to this thread, but looks like it was at the beginning of a long travel day.

Then there’s this heartbreaking news.  One’s first reaction would be that at least Phaneuf is smarter than Sean Avery, but considering he went to Toronto one wonders if that’s true.

Exclusive: Elisha Cuthbert Engaged to Dion Phaneuf: All the Details!



Elisha Cuthbert is getting her happily ever after!
The Happy Endings actress, 29, is engaged to hockey player Dion Phaneuf, 27, Us Weekly has learned.


The couple, who began dating in May 2008, celebrated at New Glasgow Lobster in Prince Edward Island, Canada, later that night. “Last night we had the privilege of hosting a surprise engagement party for Dion Phaneuf and Elisha Cuthbert,” the restaurant tweeted September 3. “Congrats to them both.”


Announcing their engagement at the venue was “a nice surprise for all their guests,” according to the restaurant’s Facebook page. “Congrats to them both and LOVE the ring!”
Phaneuf “made the reservation about a week ago but never said it was for an engagement party,” a source tells Us exclusively. “They invited 40 friends and family to celebrate at the restaurant.”


The group feasted on lobster in the restaurant’s downstairs dining area. “Elisha looked very happy and pleased. She was showing off her ring to her family and the wait staff,” the source adds. “The female wait staff were gushing about the ring saying it was ‘quite impressive’ and ‘huge.’ At one point, Dion and Elisha both got up an gave a speech and thanked everyone for being there and celebrating this exciting time with them.”
Phaneuf, who is captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs, made his NHL debut in 2005. Cuthbert’s other TV and film credits include 24, Old School, The Girl Next Door, Love Actually and House of Wax.

Cuthbert, a native of Alberta, Canada, evidently has a thing for hockey hunks: She dated NHL star Sean Avery, 32, from 2005 to 2007.
The third season of Happy Endings—also starring Damon Wayans, Jr., Casey Wilson, Zachary Knighton, Eliza Coupe and Adam Pally—premieres October 23 at 9 p.m. EST on ABC.

 

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 09/03/12 at 06:31 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

...Blah Blah Blah Elisha Cuthbert…

Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 09/03/12 at 06:31 PM ET

It’s Just Common Sense…And Science…that she’s hot…

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 09/03/12 at 07:02 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

So in the middle of the night last night, Elisha, or “Leeshee”, as I call her, just sits right up and says “I don’t want this, us, to end.  I only got engaged to Phaneuf because my parents always wanted me to marry a professional hockey player, and the Maple Leafs are as close as I’m ever going to get.”

2012-09-05_22-29-50_420-1.jpg

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 09/05/12 at 10:51 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com