Abel to Yzerman
It’s Hard To Speak Optimistically With Chunks Of Vomit Blocking The Muscles You Talk With
by IwoCPO on 03/21/12 at 08:00 PM ET
Comments (420)
We don’t know what a lead looks or feels like. A powerplay goal is a lottery winner. A game without injuries is a concept we just don’t understand anymore. Everything sucks and we’ll be lucky to get the sixth seed instead of the fifth.
The pessimism is pathetic. The only thing more disgusting is the optimism Blues fans will feel about next year after they lose in the first round this year.
But it’s interesting. It’s fascinating, really, that a group like us with so much to be gloriously arrogant about could be so collectively suicidal because of a current 5 seed with 9 games to play.
Jimmy Howard could play Saturday, and get 8 games in before the shitstorm starts.
It’s fair to say that Lidstrom would play tonight if this were a playoff game.
As bad as the power play is, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that a two-game stretch of success could get it untracked.
If the Wings slip to 6th, they get Dallas or Phoenix. If they stay in 5th, it’s looking like Bubba. The latter is not our first choice, but it’s not earth ending.
As good as St. Louis looks, there isn’t one of us who doesn’t believe the Wings couldn’t beat them in a 7-gamer. That’s just law. And if they get San Jose in the first round? No matter how bad the choking Sharks look now, they have the talent to end that wet dream.
This two-month stretch of February has sucked the life from the 19. But, nothing is over. Not yet.
Winning tonite is an impossibility. Or so it would seem. Of all the games the Wings have lost the last month and a half, this ones seems to be the most certain kick to the sack.
Interesting, isn’t it? Just as we guaranteed glory back in January, we now see nothing horror in our immediate futures.
There’s no way this team can win tonite, or when the playoffs start. The odds are too high, the suck too strong, the injuries too wicked.
And we’ve always been right. Right?
It’s a Live Blog, bitches. It’s a Live Blog and a perfect time to remind ourselves of one undeniable fact, proven time and again. These are the Wings we’re talking about, and no matter the circumstances, puppies are always a possibility. Hookers are always available. Always. As bad as this is, and it’s absolutely gross, all it would take is a Round 1, Game 1 victory on the road, with two PP goals. After that? It would be on. On, I tell you.
Whip it out, Uncle Mike. Roll the cameras and whip out the Conk. There’s still a story to be told and wouldn’t it be a good one if the team we know so well suddenly decided to right this sinking barge.
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Comments
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Oh god…. Douche Canoe in between Tortorella and Babcock. One of them is going to end him tonight.
Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:59 PM ET
The Canoe knows better than to paddle toward Uncle Mike.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 10:00 PM ET
Janik having a brutal game since whiffing on that shot early.
Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 10:00 PM ET
sheesh ... sloopy
need better communicationage
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/21/12 at 10:00 PM ET
Cheese and Crackers how many goalie give aways are we going to have this year?
Posted by RWBill on 03/21/12 at 10:00 PM ET
Oh god…. Douche Canoe in between Tortorella and Babcock. One of them is going to end him tonight.
Posted by bezukov from The Darkness with Harkness Redux on 03/21/12 at 07:59 PM ET
Tag team beat down?
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 10:01 PM ET
Cheese and Crackers how many goalie give aways are we going to have this year?
Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 03/21/12 at 08:00 PM ET
Let me get out my calculator.
Posted by calquake from a.k.a. Uniquake, workin' on my manifesto on 03/21/12 at 10:01 PM ET
best thing tonight? i know the wings won’t get shut out. we already scored!
Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/21/12 at 10:01 PM ET
Tag team beat down?
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 03/21/12 at 08:01 PM ET
My only wish is that I could be in the parking lot after the game with a six pack of beer and a camera.
Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 10:02 PM ET
Cheese and Crackers how many goalie give aways are we going to have this year?
Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 03/21/12 at 08:00 PM ET
Let me get out my Cray supercomputer.
Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 08:01 PM ET
Fixt.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 10:02 PM ET
I see we have a first period lead.
What strange, bizarro universe have I stumbled into?
Posted by dougie on 03/21/12 at 10:05 PM ET
Nice change Uncle Mike.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 10:06 PM ET
Ready for the PK of death - -
sure to make the NYR 14+% PP look good
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 10:06 PM ET
And the 39123rd bench penalty this season for too many men
Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 10:06 PM ET
Gee…. you’d think some coaching could take care of those too many men penalties there Babs.
Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 10:06 PM ET
I see we have a first period lead.
What strange, bizarro universe have I stumbled into?Posted by dougie on 03/21/12 at 08:05 PM ET
PK of death will fix that.
Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/21/12 at 10:06 PM ET
What strange, bizarro universe have I stumbled into?
New York city.
Posted by calquake from a.k.a. Uniquake, workin' on my manifesto on 03/21/12 at 10:06 PM ET
Olczek just about hurt himself calling out that too many men call on the wings.
Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/21/12 at 10:06 PM ET
I see we have a first period lead.
What strange, bizarro universe have I stumbled into?
Posted by dougie on 03/21/12 at 08:05 PM ET
Ambivaland, where the Red Wings get an early lead, but you have to listen Edsel and Douche Canoe call the action.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 10:07 PM ET
Ohhh Edzo….. goooooood oooone.
Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 10:08 PM ET
What strange, bizarro universe have I stumbled into?
This one:
Oh god…. Douche Canoe in between Tortorella and Babcock. One of them is going to end him tonight.
Posted by monkey from Prague on 03/21/12 at 10:08 PM ET
Well that didn’t take long
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 10:08 PM ET
Ugh!
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 10:08 PM ET
PK of death will fix that.
You nailed it! Good work.
Posted by monkey from Prague on 03/21/12 at 10:08 PM ET
PK of Death lives up to his name
holeee hell coast to coast
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 10:09 PM ET
Hello reality. Haven’t seen you since Monday.
Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 10:09 PM ET
a toledo walleye defensive play ...
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/21/12 at 10:09 PM ET
Database Error: Unable to connect to your database. Your database appears to be turned off or the database connection settings in your config file are not correct. Please contact your hosting provider if the problem persists.
—Paul
there it is, saw that coming from before the red line. joy…
Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/21/12 at 10:09 PM ET
So we have:
Kronner - useless
Conk - More useless
Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 10:09 PM ET
Nice stop. Looked like a Justin Bieber groupie there Conks.
Posted by calquake from a.k.a. Uniquake, workin' on my manifesto on 03/21/12 at 10:10 PM ET
Coast to Coast? Who do the Wings think they’re playing, the ‘85 Oilers?
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 10:10 PM ET
What a shame. The Wings have been playing too well to give up an easy one like that.
Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 10:10 PM ET
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com
Not going to overtax the karma. He’ll be out at the start of the next game for sure.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 09:59 PM ET