Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

It’s Hard To Speak Optimistically With Chunks Of Vomit Blocking The Muscles You Talk With

We don’t know what a lead looks or feels like.  A powerplay goal is a lottery winner.  A game without injuries is a concept we just don’t understand anymore.  Everything sucks and we’ll be lucky to get the sixth seed instead of the fifth.

The pessimism is pathetic.  The only thing more disgusting is the optimism Blues fans will feel about next year after they lose in the first round this year.

But it’s interesting.  It’s fascinating, really, that a group like us with so much to be gloriously arrogant about could be so collectively suicidal because of a current 5 seed with 9 games to play.

Jimmy Howard could play Saturday, and get 8 games in before the shitstorm starts.

It’s fair to say that Lidstrom would play tonight if this were a playoff game.

As bad as the power play is, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that a two-game stretch of success could get it untracked. 

If the Wings slip to 6th, they get Dallas or Phoenix.  If they stay in 5th, it’s looking like Bubba. The latter is not our first choice, but it’s not earth ending. 

As good as St. Louis looks, there isn’t one of us who doesn’t believe the Wings couldn’t beat them in a 7-gamer.  That’s just law.  And if they get San Jose in the first round?  No matter how bad the choking Sharks look now, they have the talent to end that wet dream.

This two-month stretch of February has sucked the life from the 19.  But, nothing is over.  Not yet. 

Winning tonite is an impossibility.  Or so it would seem. Of all the games the Wings have lost the last month and a half, this ones seems to be the most certain kick to the sack. 

Interesting, isn’t it?  Just as we guaranteed glory back in January, we now see nothing horror in our immediate futures.

There’s no way this team can win tonite, or when the playoffs start. The odds are too high, the suck too strong, the injuries too wicked.

And we’ve always been right.  Right?

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.  It’s a Live Blog and a perfect time to remind ourselves of one undeniable fact, proven time and again.  These are the Wings we’re talking about, and no matter the circumstances, puppies are always a possibility.  Hookers are always available. Always.  As bad as this is, and it’s absolutely gross, all it would take is a Round 1, Game 1 victory on the road, with two PP goals.  After that? It would be on.  On, I tell you. 

Whip it out, Uncle Mike.  Roll the cameras and whip out the Conk.  There’s still a story to be told and wouldn’t it be a good one if the team we know so well suddenly decided to right this sinking barge.

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Comments

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Avatar

Fuching great. The #1 Cawk sucker is with Doc.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 07:34 PM ET

Clown shoes in between the benches too.  I expect to be watching a large portion of the game on mute.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/21/12 at 09:39 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Ugh, worst crew tonight of course.  I already miss FSD.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/21/12 at 09:40 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

So what are you guys mixing into your tall glass of anxiety tonight?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:40 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Good to see some other optimists in here tonight.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 03/21/12 at 09:40 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Mute button firmly pressed.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 03/21/12 at 09:40 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

you have to vote for Danielle Smith.

She’s got nice wheels.

So this is the first game i’ve seen since before the west coast trip. Don’t disappoint me.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 09:41 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

So what are you guys mixing into your tall glass of anxiety tonight?
Posted by bezukov from The Darkness with Harkness Redux on 03/21/12 at 07:40 PM ET

Gin and turpentine, with a lime twist.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 09:41 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

And the 2 worst zebras in the league.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 09:41 PM ET

calquake's avatar

So what are you guys mixing into your tall glass of anxiety tonight?

Posted by bezukov from The Darkness with Harkness Redux on 03/21/12 at 07:40 PM ET

30 Xanax and a ribbed condom for her pleasure.

Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 09:42 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Janik. Not a goal scorer.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 09:43 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Dammit Janik. 

I think while Pierre is still in New York we should put the money together to pay Rex Ryan to eat him.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:44 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Homer jailsexed. No call.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 09:45 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

30 Xanax and a ribbed condom for her pleasure.

Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 07:42 PM ET

Look at you, always thinking about others.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:45 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

No feeds? Still diving crying soccer on Alpha Tango.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 09:45 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Bam Z

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 09:46 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Holy shit a lead!!!  Z!

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/21/12 at 09:46 PM ET

Avatar

OMG!!!!!  On time start.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/21/12 at 09:46 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Zeeeeeeeettttttteeeeeerrrrrrbbbbbbbeeeeerrrrrgggggggggah

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:46 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 09:46 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLL

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

sweet

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/21/12 at 09:46 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

5 hole. Octopi too. Me likey.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 09:47 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I’ll be at the game tonight!  Ten rows up behind the Rangers Bench…..I’ll be the guy in the Shirtuzzi!! No gamewrecker here.

Posted by Itrusteddrrahmani from Nyc by way of A2 on 03/21/12 at 06:32 PM ET

Did you throw that octopus sir?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:47 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Z, bitches.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/21/12 at 09:48 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

No call on the haul down on Dangle. Zebra suckage.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 09:48 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

NBCS FEED

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/21/12 at 09:48 PM ET

calquake's avatar

By the way… anyone who thinks Z isn’t a leader must not have thought much of Stevie Y either.  Both let their play on the ice do their talking for them.

Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 09:50 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Took the dog for a walk - and the Wings score 1st?

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 09:51 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Something wrong with the scoreboard, it shows Detroit with more goals than the other team.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/21/12 at 09:52 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/21/12 at 07:48 PM ET

Thanks yooper

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 09:52 PM ET

Trish's avatar

Aloha bitches. 

LGRW

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 03/21/12 at 09:53 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Took the dog for a walk - and the Wings score 1st?

Poor Yeller

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 09:53 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Took the dog for a walk - and the Wings score 1st?
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 07:51 PM ET

Get back out there and walk that bitch for another two hours.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 09:53 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Something wrong with the scoreboard, it shows Detroit with more goals than the other team.

Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 03/21/12 at 07:52 PM ET

SHHHH.  Tell no one.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:53 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

03:36 Henrik Zetterberg (19) Wrist Shot - Assists: I. White (24) & G. Nyquist (5)

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/21/12 at 09:54 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

How has Conks looked so far?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 09:54 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

How has Conks looked so far?

Hasnt had to do much thankfully….until now. But just as shaky as ever

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 09:55 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Conk blocked!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 09:55 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

holee smokes - - Conk whipped out the plunger on that one

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 09:55 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

holee smokes - - Conk whipped out the plunger on that one
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 07:55 PM ET

Aren’t you supposed to be out walking your dog?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 09:56 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Who stole the puck and actually shot it?

Wally

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 09:57 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com