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Abel to Yzerman

It’s Hard To Speak Optimistically With Chunks Of Vomit Blocking The Muscles You Talk With

We don’t know what a lead looks or feels like.  A powerplay goal is a lottery winner.  A game without injuries is a concept we just don’t understand anymore.  Everything sucks and we’ll be lucky to get the sixth seed instead of the fifth.

The pessimism is pathetic.  The only thing more disgusting is the optimism Blues fans will feel about next year after they lose in the first round this year.

But it’s interesting.  It’s fascinating, really, that a group like us with so much to be gloriously arrogant about could be so collectively suicidal because of a current 5 seed with 9 games to play.

Jimmy Howard could play Saturday, and get 8 games in before the shitstorm starts.

It’s fair to say that Lidstrom would play tonight if this were a playoff game.

As bad as the power play is, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that a two-game stretch of success could get it untracked. 

If the Wings slip to 6th, they get Dallas or Phoenix.  If they stay in 5th, it’s looking like Bubba. The latter is not our first choice, but it’s not earth ending. 

As good as St. Louis looks, there isn’t one of us who doesn’t believe the Wings couldn’t beat them in a 7-gamer.  That’s just law.  And if they get San Jose in the first round?  No matter how bad the choking Sharks look now, they have the talent to end that wet dream.

This two-month stretch of February has sucked the life from the 19.  But, nothing is over.  Not yet. 

Winning tonite is an impossibility.  Or so it would seem. Of all the games the Wings have lost the last month and a half, this ones seems to be the most certain kick to the sack. 

Interesting, isn’t it?  Just as we guaranteed glory back in January, we now see nothing horror in our immediate futures.

There’s no way this team can win tonite, or when the playoffs start. The odds are too high, the suck too strong, the injuries too wicked.

And we’ve always been right.  Right?

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.  It’s a Live Blog and a perfect time to remind ourselves of one undeniable fact, proven time and again.  These are the Wings we’re talking about, and no matter the circumstances, puppies are always a possibility.  Hookers are always available. Always.  As bad as this is, and it’s absolutely gross, all it would take is a Round 1, Game 1 victory on the road, with two PP goals.  After that? It would be on.  On, I tell you. 

Whip it out, Uncle Mike.  Roll the cameras and whip out the Conk.  There’s still a story to be told and wouldn’t it be a good one if the team we know so well suddenly decided to right this sinking barge.

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Comments

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bezukov's avatar

Kidnapping Jean-Luc Picard, and putting him on trial in a medieval court for the crimes of humanity?

Posted by dougie on 03/21/12 at 09:45 PM ET

You beautiful bastard.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 11:47 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Is shooting the puck really something that needs to be taught?  Isn’t it painfully obvious?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 03/21/12 at 11:47 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I never mentioned Herm did I?

Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 09:47 PM ET

I guess thats why they call him Mr. Fantastic.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 11:49 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Is shooting the puck really something that needs to be taught?  Isn’t it painfully obvious?

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 03/21/12 at 09:47 PM ET

Painful as fondling a brasil nut.

Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 11:49 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Painful as fondling a brasil nut.

If it hurts you’re doing it wrong.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 03/21/12 at 11:50 PM ET

Avatar

I suppose when a Wing is laying on the ice decapitated the Rangers will get another penalty called on them.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/21/12 at 11:50 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I always wonder why Kane doesn’t just beat up Peggy to get his $0.16 back.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 11:50 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Is shooting the puck really something that needs to be taught?  Isn’t it painfully obvious?

Normally he’s got no trouble shooting. I’ll blame this one on analysis paralysis. Too many juicy choices.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 11:50 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

If it hurts you’re doing it wrong.

Or really really right.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 03/21/12 at 11:51 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Why does every team look like they’re the best in the league at blocking shots when they play Detroit.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/21/12 at 11:52 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Mature play by Smith to back pedal instead of going for that puck.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 11:52 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Hola.

Please, Hockey Gods, Please just two points and no OT

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 11:52 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Good lord, Stuart.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 03/21/12 at 11:53 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Z saves?

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 11:53 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Wow.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/21/12 at 11:53 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Hola.

Please, Hockey Gods, Please just two points and no OT

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 03/21/12 at 09:52 PM ET

You kidding?  I’ll totally take OT in this game.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 11:53 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Why does every team look like they’re the best in the league at blocking shots when they play Detroit.

-... . -.-. .- ..- ... . / - .... . -.—/ - . .-.. .—. .-. .- .—. .... / ... ....—- - ...
(because they telegraph shots)

yes, i cheated.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 11:53 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Conks looked really good, or really lucky, on that last sequence. I can’t decide which.

But I’ll take it.

Posted by dougie on 03/21/12 at 11:54 PM ET

Bent's avatar

CLANK

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/21/12 at 11:54 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Clank.  Damnit.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/21/12 at 11:54 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Klang

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 11:54 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

janik - clancks

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 11:54 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

goddam post!

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 11:54 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

KAALANK!

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/21/12 at 11:54 PM ET

Avatar

I suppose when a Wing is laying on the ice decapitated the Rangers will get another penalty called on them.

No, thank you. RW are better 5 on 5.

Posted by Alex on 03/21/12 at 11:55 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Magic.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 03/21/12 at 11:55 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Pa-mutherfauxin-vel.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 03/21/12 at 11:55 PM ET

Avatar

“White stumbled down”...yeah Doc, that tends to happen when the opponent trips you.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/21/12 at 11:56 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Even Conks glove save look dangerous

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 11:56 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Nice tackle there.

Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 11:56 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

How in the hell was that play on Filppula not interference?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 11:57 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

How was that not interference?

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/21/12 at 11:57 PM ET

Bent's avatar

What the HELL is with all the clutch and grab crap going on here?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/21/12 at 11:57 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

“smeared out of the play was Filppula”

So you mean an interference penalty? Wait nevermind, this is the 2nd half of the NHL season.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 11:57 PM ET

Avatar

Of course you Cawk sucker Edzo…..a hook on Detroit, but the Rangers have done nothing wrong all fuching game.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/21/12 at 11:57 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Pierre making a big deal about a not remarkable play.  Go figure.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 11:58 PM ET

calquake's avatar

What the HELL is with all the clutch and grab crap going on here?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/21/12 at 09:57 PM ET

That more than anything may doom the Wings in the playoffs.

Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 11:58 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

So how does the Wings sign this Callahan character in the offseason?

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/21/12 at 11:58 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Stu playing goalie again

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 11:59 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Where oh where did buckets lose his golden ticket?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 11:59 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com