Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

It’s Hard To Speak Optimistically With Chunks Of Vomit Blocking The Muscles You Talk With

We don’t know what a lead looks or feels like.  A powerplay goal is a lottery winner.  A game without injuries is a concept we just don’t understand anymore.  Everything sucks and we’ll be lucky to get the sixth seed instead of the fifth.

The pessimism is pathetic.  The only thing more disgusting is the optimism Blues fans will feel about next year after they lose in the first round this year.

But it’s interesting.  It’s fascinating, really, that a group like us with so much to be gloriously arrogant about could be so collectively suicidal because of a current 5 seed with 9 games to play.

Jimmy Howard could play Saturday, and get 8 games in before the shitstorm starts.

It’s fair to say that Lidstrom would play tonight if this were a playoff game.

As bad as the power play is, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that a two-game stretch of success could get it untracked. 

If the Wings slip to 6th, they get Dallas or Phoenix.  If they stay in 5th, it’s looking like Bubba. The latter is not our first choice, but it’s not earth ending. 

As good as St. Louis looks, there isn’t one of us who doesn’t believe the Wings couldn’t beat them in a 7-gamer.  That’s just law.  And if they get San Jose in the first round?  No matter how bad the choking Sharks look now, they have the talent to end that wet dream.

This two-month stretch of February has sucked the life from the 19.  But, nothing is over.  Not yet. 

Winning tonite is an impossibility.  Or so it would seem. Of all the games the Wings have lost the last month and a half, this ones seems to be the most certain kick to the sack. 

Interesting, isn’t it?  Just as we guaranteed glory back in January, we now see nothing horror in our immediate futures.

There’s no way this team can win tonite, or when the playoffs start. The odds are too high, the suck too strong, the injuries too wicked.

And we’ve always been right.  Right?

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.  It’s a Live Blog and a perfect time to remind ourselves of one undeniable fact, proven time and again.  These are the Wings we’re talking about, and no matter the circumstances, puppies are always a possibility.  Hookers are always available. Always.  As bad as this is, and it’s absolutely gross, all it would take is a Round 1, Game 1 victory on the road, with two PP goals.  After that? It would be on.  On, I tell you. 

Whip it out, Uncle Mike.  Roll the cameras and whip out the Conk.  There’s still a story to be told and wouldn’t it be a good one if the team we know so well suddenly decided to right this sinking barge.

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Comments

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Nate A's avatar

So we have:
Kronner - useless
Conk - More useless

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 09:09 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Nice stop.  Looked like a Justin Bieber groupie there Conks.

Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 09:10 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Coast to Coast? Who do the Wings think they’re playing, the ‘85 Oilers?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 09:10 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

What a shame.  The Wings have been playing too well to give up an easy one like that.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:10 PM ET

dougie's avatar

The Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey Circus could have had their parade through the 5 hole Conklin left open.

Posted by dougie on 03/21/12 at 09:10 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Stu - - not good,

but neither were the other 3 on the PK

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 09:10 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Whenever I hear “MLS” I think I’m supposed to donate money to a telethon.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/21/12 at 09:13 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Guess who doesn’t give a fuch about soccer in Seattle NBC?

Everybody.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:14 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Just checked the stats. Wings are now tied with FLA for a league leading 12 bench minors on the season.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 09:14 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Another time here Conklin getting in the way of his defenseman behind the net.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/21/12 at 09:15 PM ET

Avatar

That goal by NY is indicative of the Red Wings’ recent struggles.  For the most part, other teams aren’t doing anything spectacular to beat Detroit.  Detroit’s just making spectacularly bad plays to make it easy on their opponents.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/21/12 at 09:16 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Living in Old Dominion, I couldn’t stand to watch the Caps game due to those terrible, terrible announcers.  Tonight is no easier.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/21/12 at 09:16 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

All told, not too shabby.  Beats the hell outta being down by three.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:16 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Guess who doesn’t give a fuch about soccer in Seattle NBC?
Everybody.
Posted by bezukov from The Darkness with Harkness Redux on 03/21/12 at 08:14 PM ET

Fixed.

Off to commute home; see ya in the third

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/21/12 at 09:17 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Better than recent games, I suppose.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 09:17 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Just checked the stats. Wings are now tied with FLA for a league leading 12 bench minors on the season.
         
Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 08:14 PM ET

That’s it?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/21/12 at 09:18 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Whenever I hear “MLS” I think I’m supposed to donate money to a telethon.

Also, when I first typed that the last word was “telethong”.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/21/12 at 09:18 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Another time here Conklin getting in the way of his defenseman behind the net.

Way out of position.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/21/12 at 09:19 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

i find i don’t hold my breath so much when smith is on the ice. and five minutes of ice time so far in the game.

we can keep smith when e52 gets back right?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/21/12 at 09:19 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Well, other than Charlton Heston parting the Wings defensive coverage on the PK, not a bad period overall.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 03/21/12 at 09:20 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Wings are now tied with FLA for a league leading 12 bench minors on the season.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 08:14 PM ET

It’s a good thing to have something in common with a first place team, no?

Posted by dougie on 03/21/12 at 09:21 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

It’s a good thing to have something in common with a first place team, no?

Posted by dougie on 03/21/12 at 08:21 PM ET

Better than google image searching ” I’m speechless ” .

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/21/12 at 09:32 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Hey bitches. Just caught up on the LB. What the hell was that thing early in the period? Oh yeah a lead. That pp looked like the Wings stole monkey’s football. TPH needs to get the ruler out and smack these guys in the head ala blues brothers.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 03/21/12 at 09:34 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Holy chit…. they used a radar gun at the end of the kids practice. 10 yrs old and the lil turd hit 59mph.
We slacked this off season and it paid off.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 03/21/12 at 09:34 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Here we go. Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 09:34 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Better than google image searching ” I’m speechless ” .

MY EYES OH GOD MY EYES…

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/21/12 at 09:35 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

10 yrs old and the lil turd hit 59mph.

Verlander-lite.  Nice

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 09:36 PM ET

monkey's avatar

stole monkey’s football.

Calquake’s football.  I prefer dooknobs.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/21/12 at 09:36 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Also, when I first typed that the last word was “telethong”.

Now that’s a charity I could get behind.

Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 09:37 PM ET

Avatar

Any of these three assclowns realize there’s a game going on?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/21/12 at 09:37 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

I <3 Nyquist

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/21/12 at 09:39 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Q with some good D

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 09:40 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

All Pierre does when he isn’t being a dick to whomever he is interviewing, he just name drops about people he saw in junior hockey…...... not impressed.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/21/12 at 09:40 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Wow - - nice Conks

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/21/12 at 09:42 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Conks need to stay put.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/21/12 at 09:42 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

In the absence of Jeff’s intermission Reds, May I present Miss Phyllis Diller.

That’s hot.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/21/12 at 09:43 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

so the goalie can freeze the puck anywhere on the ice eh?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/21/12 at 09:44 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Better than google image searching ” I’m speechless ” .

MY EYES OH GOD MY EYES…
Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 03/21/12 at 08:35 PM ET

That is something you cannot un-see.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/21/12 at 09:45 PM ET

calquake's avatar

That’s hot.

Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 03/21/12 at 08:43 PM ET

Whose babushka is she wearing?

Posted by calquake on 03/21/12 at 09:45 PM ET

Avatar

so the goalie can freeze the puck anywhere on the ice eh?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/21/12 at 08:44 PM ET

Always can on the back of the net.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/21/12 at 09:45 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com