Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

In A Perfect World…

Uh oh.

Leipold was pacing. When he spotted me looking at him, he just looked at me and shook his head in disgust.

Leipold has one of the highest payrolls in the NHL. He just spent $196 million on long-term contracts on two players. How will he respond if the Wild misses?

That's Michael Russo, lead digger for the Minnesota Wild. And that is poetry.

Oh, I know. The main thing is still the main thing: get in.

But man, man, man.  

Apparently, the fans along the prairie were none too happy with The Favorites getting plowed last night.  They booed and made angry faces.  That made Pinky upset.

The display I saw from Wild fans tonight was far more disgusting than the way the team played. Tonight is the first time I have ever been truly ashamed to be associated with this fan base.

 

Editor:Hockey Wilderness Now with more Twitterness: @BReynoldsMN
Master of unsustainable passive regression, sanctimonious back biter, unnecessarily verbose hubristic misanthrope, and the whiny idiot homer at that site you've never heard of but comment about all the time.
by BReynolds on Apr 26, 2013 | 9:48 PM reply

Unfortunate, how he feels, so close to the end of his sterling blogging career.  Long memories here, Richard.  Long memories.

Primis has been hitting this for a few days now and he's nailing it.  Walnut Grove missing the playoffs, the Ingalls sisters sad and weepy, questioning, Leipold angry beyond words...yes please.

Table that.  Push it aside for now.  Just get in.  Get in and the possibilities widen.  Get in and face Chicago and the odds are steep. We get that.  But I'll take steep over golf any day.  Get in and face Anaheim?

Interesting.

I can't even describe the situation I'll find myself in tonite.  I'll be at PETCO Park with a dozen 11 year old softball players. My DVR will be humming.  Your comments will hit my phone at lightning speed and I'll ignore every one. In fact, I may be device-less to avoid the temptation. I'll be avoiding eye contact with any stadium scoreboard in the event NHL scores show up anywhere (highly doubtful).

I'll get home around 9pm PST. By that time every one of you will know where we stand. In/out. Happy/sad. Laughing at Mary and Laura or resignedly admitting that asking Denver to do this was a fool's hope.  If wishes were horses, the Dive would still suck ass.  

And unless technology foils me and I find out all the news, I'll be watching hockey as you're hitting the racks.  By tomorrow morning we'll be even.  But any way you slice it: stress of the absolute highest order.

JFC. RSV.  LGRW. FML.  Nah, I dig my life. But this is going to be a crazy day for us all.  

You have to think the Wings are looking forward to this.  As much as we dread it, as much as we want to just start burning shit down?  They probably dig it.  I reallly Believe Babcock when he says this has been fun for him, watching the kids develop, mixing lineups, challenging himself.  

Well, if it's that much fun make it a blowout.  Have you considered how disgusting it would be if the Wings were down by 1 (or god, please god, no) 2 with 2 minutes left and everybody else is winning or has won?  I've never ingested bath salts before and I really don't even know what they look like (because of my gender), but that might be the time and place. By myself, in my Wing jersey and Underoos, alone in my living room at midnite, the DVR paused with the Wings down with like 100 seconds left and me wondering what to do with what I believe are bath salts but could actually be crumpled Saltines or something. 

I'm losing it. I know.

It's gonna be a rough day.  A. Rough. Fuching. Day.

But we'll laugh about it tomorrow, when the Wings are in.

And we'll really laugh, and I mean with bellies and snorts, if those two candy asses are planning a trip to Mankado for supplies with Albert and Pa...instead of gearing up for the playoffs as every pharmacist guaranteed us they would.

But...the main thing: do it boys. Just. Get. In. 

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Comments

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stonehands-78's avatar

I wish Turco was back in goal tonight.

Posted by dougie on 04/27/13 at 11:43 AM ET

ahh, memories ...

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/27/13 at 11:56 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/27/13 at 12:52 PM ET

LOL. 

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/27/13 at 11:57 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Still, THE best shootout deke in the world, stoney.  IN THE WORLD.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 04/27/13 at 11:58 AM ET

monkey's avatar

Huh, wonder what Rinne thinks of all that?  One game, no biggie.  Two in a row for no real reason?...

Why risk the franchise when losing improves your lottery odds?

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/27/13 at 12:00 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

sheesh, ...

6 posts here in 15 minutes

... imma going for a walk ... or yard work ... or laundry ... or the store ...

... what time is puke-, um, ... puck-drop?

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/27/13 at 12:02 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Why risk the franchise when losing improves your lottery odds?

Posted by monkey from Fear and Loathing on 04/27/13 at 01:00 PM ET

Marginally.  Not sure how much benefit there really is to it.  If that’s what they’re selling in NAS, it’s gonna’ be a looonnngg offseason there.

I miss Turco.  So did most of the shots at JLA…. right behind him into the net.  I’ve never seen a goalie so reliably owned in an opposing rink before, every single time.

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 12:07 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Improved odds are improved odds.  They’re looking at what we’re looking at- one win from the Avs and the Preds can finish dead last in the conference.  If Tampa Bay also wins, Nashville will be second from the bottom in the league.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/27/13 at 12:13 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Don’t know WTF is going on in Houston but apparently the Griffs had to practice this morning in a rink IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHOPPING MALL.

Maybe this is why you can’t have nice things like AHL teams, Houston…

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 12:13 PM ET

RhymeTimeWingsDings's avatar

the mason dixie line needs to be resurrected for the NHL so they understand where not to put teams.  (unless said team is by an ocean and has lots of sunshine, midwesterns love that shit)

Posted by RhymeTimeWingsDings on 04/27/13 at 12:19 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Oh good!  The Tigers are on FOX nationally today so I can distract myself with that game for a few hours…

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/27/13 at 12:21 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

This is so simple.  Only triple checked things, so there could be a mistake.  Sorry had to reduce this in size a bit to fit in the width restrictions.

Print or save this for reference about 9 pm Eastern tonight, although there is only one result we care about.


Missing one column, both Wild and CBJ lose in regulation, Wild 8, CBJ eliminated.  Didn’t want to compress this any more.  Limited to about 610 pixels wide.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/27/13 at 12:26 PM ET

Primis's avatar

the mason dixie line needs to be resurrected for the NHL so they understand where not to put teams.  (unless said team is by an ocean and has lots of sunshine, midwesterns love that shit)

Posted by RhymeTimeWingsDings from MMM LANSIN G on 04/27/13 at 01:19 PM ET

So no teams south of the Penn. state line?  Sorry Capitals.  Then again, no Blues so wait it’s a freaking fantastic idea.

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 12:27 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

The morning ended with a bang, bitches. Big ol tom tom turkey shot in the face.
Hope the boys have their killer instinct tuned in tonight too.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/27/13 at 12:28 PM ET

SYF's avatar

The morning ended with a bang, bitches. Big ol tom tom turkey shot in the face.
Hope the boys have their killer instinct tuned in tonight too.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/27/13 at 01:28 PM ET

Outstanding.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 04/27/13 at 12:30 PM ET

Avatar

Was watching the local sports reporters show before the Hawks game last night and the 4 guys were all unanimous in wanting to play Detroit in the first round, or as one guy called them, “the new Dead Wings”. 

They didn’t want to play Columbus because Bobrovsky is one of the hottest goalies right now.  April numbers for Bob are 1.66 GAA and .940 SVP. April numbers for Jimmah are 1.58 GAA and .939 SVP.  So, as spot on as you would expect from Hawks reporters.  tongue rolleye

They didn’t want to play Minny because the Wild had clearly played the Hawks the toughest all year.  I guess since the Wild were the only team to beat them, even though it was in Gary’s Gimmick, they played the Hawks tough regardless of 2 regulation losses.  Sure all the games against Columbus were 1 goal or extra time games.  And yes they did wreck the Wings 1 game, but the other 3 all went to extra time.  Looks pretty even across the board to me, but of course I’m no pharmacist.

Seems like the Hawks need more than just a few years of winning hockey for the local sports clowns to reconnect with or discover in the first place any understanding of hockey at all.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/27/13 at 12:30 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

The interesting one is ...  Detroit loses in regulation.  CBJ wins in regulation to take a 1 point lead on Detroit.  Minnesota loses in OT or shootout to tie Detroit. 

Detroit and Minnesota would be tied for 8th in points.  First tiebreaker ROW also tied.

Second tiebreaker, head to head, there was an extra home game for Minnesota so the first home game there is thrown out.  Results in the remaining two head to head games are even.

Third tiebreaker is Goal Differential, which Detroit would win unless they lose by 14 goals tonight.

Thanks. Gary. Ass.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/27/13 at 12:32 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Was watching the local sports reporters show before the Hawks game last night and the 4 guys were all unanimous in wanting to play Detroit in the first round, or as one guy called them, “the new Dead Wings”.

Newbs.

They didn’t want to play Columbus because Bobrovsky is one of the hottest goalies right now.  April numbers for Bob are 1.66 GAA and .940 SVP. April numbers for Jimmah are 1.58 GAA and .939 SVP.  So, as spot on as you would expect from Hawks reporters.

Again:  NEWBS.

They didn’t want to play Minny because the Wild had clearly played the Hawks the toughest all year.  I guess since the Wild were the only team to beat them, even though it was in Gary’s Gimmick, they played the Hawks tough regardless of 2 regulation losses.  Sure all the games against Columbus were 1 goal or extra time games.  And yes they did wreck the Wings 1 game, but the other 3 all went to extra time.  Looks pretty even across the board to me, but of course I’m no pharmacist.

Odd, because the bandwagonneers on hfboards were actually looking forward to getting their asses handed to them by the Cawks.

Seems like the Hawks need more than just a few years of winning hockey for the local sports clowns to reconnect with or discover in the first place any understanding of hockey at all.

I just spat out the Java out my nose.  Thanks, man.

Posted by Valek on 04/27/13 at 01:30 PM ET

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 04/27/13 at 12:36 PM ET

Avatar

Second tiebreaker, head to head, there was an extra home game for Minnesota so the first home game there is thrown out.  Results in the remaining two head to head games are even.

I’m showing Detroit with 2 home games with the first (a Wing win) being thrown out, giving the Wild 4 points to none in the remaining 2 games and the tiebreaker after ROW.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/27/13 at 12:36 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Hurry up and stock up your rations.  Tigers on in 2 1/2 hours and then batten down the doors and windows from the Already Dead teams taking the ice.  Have cats and pets in hand to toss outdoors for sacrifice.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/27/13 at 12:36 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Jan 25 At Detroit ,  DET 5 -3

Feb 17 At Minnesota, MIN 3-2

Mar 20 At Detroit, MIN 4-2

You’re right, the extra game was at Detroit, so Minnesota owns the third tie breaker.

Amend NOTE B accordingly !  It’s now worse than I thought !

Thanks for nothing !!
(good eyes)

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/27/13 at 12:42 PM ET

RhymeTimeWingsDings's avatar

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 01:27 PM ET

Caps are by the ocean and thus a very populated area so they can stay.  and a decent average annual snowfall clause can be used to keep teams like st louis and denver.

Posted by RhymeTimeWingsDings on 04/27/13 at 12:45 PM ET

Avatar

It’s now worse than I thought !

To the woe of even more local fauna if Jobu is in a baneful mood this evening.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/27/13 at 12:47 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Seems like the Hawks need more than just a few years of winning hockey for the local sports clowns to reconnect with or discover in the first place any understanding of hockey at all.

Posted by Valek on 04/27/13 at 01:30 PM ET

No.  Because in the end Chicago is still a sh*t down for hockey, no matter what, they as a whole don’t get it and never really will.  Hawks will never be terribly important there behind the Cubs, Bulls, and Bears.

The whole state is overrated for hockey honestly.  The ECHL Chicago Express lasted one whole year before folding.  AHL Rockford is always on the cusp of going away and may yet.  Peoria’s going to lose an AHL team to B.C. probably barring a last-minute miracle.  If you want to count CHL Quad Cities as IL… they’ve been a joke and a mess and are probably finally going away soon (and they lost the AHL Flames to, you guessed it, B.C.).  There is absolutely no D1 college hockey in the state and the ones that tried in recent memory failed (UIC Flames).  There’s one USHL team (Chicago) and I think 1 NAHL team (Springfield… the Jr. Blues, amusingly enough).

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 12:51 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Try this one.  The corrected head to head affects 3 or 4 outcomes, all bad, one eliminates Detroit altogether.  Like I said, I only reviewed it 3 times, there was one bound to be a mistake.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/27/13 at 12:52 PM ET

Primis's avatar

To expand further on my venom, IIRC I saw something linked on Deadpsin recently that talked about what fans perceive as the top or most-important or something pro team in their respective U.S. markets.

Most all of them, including the much-hyped Minnesota, listed an NFL team first.  I don’t remember what it was for Chicago, the Bears, Bulls, or Cubs.

Michigan/Detroit’s though was the Red Wings, the lone NHL team with such a designation in their U.S. market.

Suck it, everyone else.

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 12:58 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

do it boys. Just. Get. In.

That’s what sh…

Started drinking at noon. Tequila at 4.

Wow, I don’t know if today is the most beautiful or disgusting day of my life.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/27/13 at 12:59 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a glorious human being.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/27/13 at 01:00 PM ET

Avatar

Wow, I don’t know if today is the most beautiful or disgusting day of my life.

It’s veritably beautusting and disgeautiful around here.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/27/13 at 01:02 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

It’s veritably beautusting and disgeautiful around here.

That was redolent.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/27/13 at 01:04 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Valek, you are one cool, cool soul.  Glad you’re here.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 04/27/13 at 01:08 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Just flipped on the Tigers-Braves game.  Not to go all UniWatch on everyone, but those Stars throwbacks are so ridiculously-cool.  Especially when the guys are willing to hike those socks on up.

It’d be great though if FOX would stop talking to and showing Tim Hudson in the dugout so they could like, deliver some actual game info.

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 01:14 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 02:14 PM ET

What is this sport you speak of?

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/27/13 at 01:16 PM ET

Avatar

It’d be great though if FOX would stop talking to and showing Tim Hudson in the dugout so they could like, deliver some actual game info.

FOX? The home of Tim McCarver and Joe Buck…and you want them to do a competent job of broadcasting a sporting event?  That’s cute.

Next you’ll expect Douche Canoe not to be such a Douche Canoe.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/27/13 at 01:19 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Ooooohhhh…. I smell a brawl coming.  Tigers HR followed by a head-hunting HBP.

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 01:26 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Been lurking all day. Looks to me like all bases have been covered and now the waiting begins. From reading today’s comments, I’ve come to a conclusion.

Too much thinking, not enough drinking.

You fuchers are wearing me out just reading this thread, and Master Chief is the instigator.
He is somewhere right now with a great big smile on his face, and, quite possibly vomit dribbling down his chin.
All swagger though. He didn’t get to be a Master Chief by sniveling. Or, by someone else losing.

There are numerous scenarios that could play out tonite, but, none of them matter. Not a one. It’s simple…......

Win and we’re in. I don’t give a rat’s ass aboot anybody else but the Wings. Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/27/13 at 01:29 PM ET

Primis's avatar

FOX? The home of Tim McCarver and Joe Buck…and you want them to do a competent job of broadcasting a sporting event?  That’s cute.

Next you’ll expect Douche Canoe not to be such a Douche Canoe.

Posted by Valek on 04/27/13 at 02:19 PM ET

You know they’re annoying when you have the sound completely muted (trying to get baby asleep) and they’re STILL somehow interfering with your watching of the game.

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 01:30 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Was watching the local sports reporters show before the Hawks game last night and the 4 guys were all unanimous in wanting to play Detroit in the first round, or as one guy called them, “the new Dead Wings”. 

Posted by Valek on 04/27/13 at 01:30 PM ET

Give em a break, the entire fan base has only been watching hockey for about 5 years or so.  Can’t expect them to know their ass from a hole in the ground.

Posted by Hootinani on 04/27/13 at 01:30 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

You fuchers are wearing me out

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/27/13 at 02:29 PM ET

Thats what she said….

literally, she said it.

Posted by Hootinani on 04/27/13 at 01:33 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Give em a break, the entire fan base has only been watching hockey for about 5 years or so.  Can’t expect them to know their ass from a hole in the ground.

Posted by Hootinani on 04/27/13 at 02:30 PM ET

this?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/27/13 at 01:33 PM ET

Primis's avatar

You fuchers are wearing me out just reading this thread, and Master Chief is the instigator.
He is somewhere right now with a great big smile on his face, and, quite possibly vomit dribbling down his chin.
All swagger though. He didn’t get to be a Master Chief by sniveling. Or, by someone else losing.

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/27/13 at 02:29 PM ET

Posted by Primis on 04/27/13 at 01:34 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com