Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

I NOW Consider The Capitals The Greatest, Most Elite Team In NHL History

Greg Balantine, of The Puck Stops Here fame, has been sending me analytics on PS4 messenger. His statistics, as we all know, have always defined greatness, just as the sheer strength of his prose always made us pause and cry a little, not unlike your reaction to a fine thespian performance from the likes of Donny Most in Happy Days.

Greg Balantine despised me like no man has ever hated another in the history of blogger animosity.  

He hasn't actually been corresponding with me, just seething from afar like the scorned little boy he's always been.

But I've used his formulas to reach the following conclusion.

The Washington Capitals are +66 in goals for/against.  The Detroit Red Wings are -21.

The Capitals have 80 points to the Wings' 56.

The Caps have won ten consecutive home games and the Wings won six games in a row like 5 months ago.  Since then they've been a really shitty hockey team.

The Capitals, according to the research I've done today based on the statistical formulas Balantine created while sucking on a pacifier and wearing footy pajamas, are going to defeat our Red Wings by 12.7632 goals tonight.

And we are going to Live Blog it, bitches.

Remember: nothing I've said about Greg Balantine in this blog post was actually true. All was used for comedic effect.

Except for the footy pajamas. I'm pretty sure that little kid still wears footy pajamas.

LGRW and FKH ASAP. 

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Comments

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Little Redhead's avatar

It sucks living south of Washington D.C.-I’m blocked out of game.

Ya all enjoy and help the Wings Win!

Let’s Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's Chair on 02/09/17 at 07:58 PM ET

Avatar

These 6:00 CST start times really cut into my afternoon/early evening drinking.  My response will be more drinking.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 02/09/17 at 07:59 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

FKH ASAP

Did you just create the next internet meme ?


I don’t care if we get killed tonight, I just want to see Mantha, AA, & Larkin to play 18-20 minutes in all situations. Play Mantha against #8 all night. On the penalty kill please ignore everyone else except Ovie. He will be standing at the left faceoff dot waiting for a pass. Just stay there and he’ll never score…..

Posted by Down River Dan on 02/09/17 at 08:01 PM ET

Alan's avatar

I’ve been sidelined with an injury to the motherboard, so I missed Tuesday’s live blog. While I’m still nursing that injury, the computer is managing to limp along and support my viewing habits. With that, I’m here. LGRW!

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 02/09/17 at 08:07 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

just win

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 02/09/17 at 08:08 PM ET

Figaro's avatar

Howdy, y’all.  A budding cold is keeping me home tonight, but hey, at least I get to watch the game live and spend quality time with you fine folk.

Posted by Figaro from Los Alamos, NM on 02/09/17 at 08:09 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

... not unlike your reaction to a fine thespian performance from the likes of Donny Most in Happy Days.

Worth the price of admission right there, folks

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie, MI on 02/09/17 at 08:17 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

It took the Caps seven seconds to score after turning the TV on, that’s actually an improvement by two seconds over the last game I watched.

Baby steps.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie, MI on 02/09/17 at 08:20 PM ET

bigfrog's avatar

0-1. Surprised? shock

Posted by bigfrog on 02/09/17 at 08:20 PM ET

Alan's avatar

And so it begins.

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 02/09/17 at 08:20 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

... right

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 02/09/17 at 08:20 PM ET

Avatar

Vanek and Helm breaking for the other end before the puck was ever cleared.  That seems smart

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 02/09/17 at 08:20 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

11.7632 more goals to go ...

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 02/09/17 at 08:21 PM ET

Figaro's avatar

Frak

Posted by Figaro from Los Alamos, NM on 02/09/17 at 08:22 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Hola bitches. Unfortunately have the Washington feed. They are bragging that they have the “fab five” now like we used to have. Wrong sport skippy. LGRW

Posted by cigar_nurse from On The mend for next season Greenville Pylons on 02/09/17 at 08:28 PM ET

Figaro's avatar

Well, we’re on pace for 6 shots…

Posted by Figaro from Los Alamos, NM on 02/09/17 at 08:31 PM ET

Figaro's avatar

Wow, shades of Esa Tikannen there from ‘98…

Posted by Figaro from Los Alamos, NM on 02/09/17 at 08:34 PM ET

bigfrog's avatar

AA 1-1. cheese

Posted by bigfrog on 02/09/17 at 08:34 PM ET

Figaro's avatar

Happytoseeyou!

Posted by Figaro from Los Alamos, NM on 02/09/17 at 08:34 PM ET

Alan's avatar

AA!!

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 02/09/17 at 08:34 PM ET

Avatar

Ovie abused

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 02/09/17 at 08:34 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

>>>BOOM<<<

AA

1-1

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 02/09/17 at 08:34 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

AA making Ovie look bad. Bet he doesn’t get benched though. LGRW

Posted by cigar_nurse from On The mend for next season Greenville Pylons on 02/09/17 at 08:35 PM ET

Alan's avatar

PP? Can we decline it?

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 02/09/17 at 08:38 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

“man advantage”

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 02/09/17 at 08:39 PM ET

Figaro's avatar

Happytoseeyouagain!

Posted by Figaro from Los Alamos, NM on 02/09/17 at 08:40 PM ET

bigfrog's avatar

A PP? Score now. LOL They did. 2-1 AA.

Posted by bigfrog on 02/09/17 at 08:40 PM ET

Avatar

on fire

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 02/09/17 at 08:40 PM ET

Alan's avatar

AAx2!

On the PP at that?

Wow!

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 02/09/17 at 08:40 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

>>>BOOM<<<

AA

2-1

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 02/09/17 at 08:41 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Holy smokes. AA again on the pp no less. We want curly fries.

Posted by cigar_nurse from On The mend for next season Greenville Pylons on 02/09/17 at 08:42 PM ET

Paul's avatar

Bench him Blash!

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 02/09/17 at 08:42 PM ET

bigfrog's avatar

2-2. That didn’t take long. Unfortunately. red face

Posted by bigfrog on 02/09/17 at 08:43 PM ET

Alan's avatar

Welp.

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 02/09/17 at 08:43 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

... right

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 02/09/17 at 08:43 PM ET

Figaro's avatar

D’oh!  AA on the ice for that goal against. Better bench him.

Posted by Figaro from Los Alamos, NM on 02/09/17 at 08:43 PM ET

Avatar

DDK playing in between where you generally accomplish nothing

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 02/09/17 at 08:44 PM ET

bigfrog's avatar

After One Period, AA 2, Washington 2. wink

Posted by bigfrog on 02/09/17 at 08:46 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

DDK letting up on his man after a hit gets burned. Learning moment.
Better road period after a shaky start. LGRW

Posted by cigar_nurse from On The mend for next season Greenville Pylons on 02/09/17 at 08:47 PM ET

Alan's avatar

Posted by bigfrog on 02/09/17 at 07:46 PM ET

The question is, is our AA an Energizer?

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 02/09/17 at 08:48 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com