Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

I NOW Consider Patrick Roy A Repeat Jack Adams Winner

This can't be happening. I looked it up in the science books and all the smart kids told us we'd be "fighting for a spot" and that "24 was in jeopardy" and that "Denver is a legitimate, honest to god, don't doubt us on this, CONTENDER". Certainly this is a fantasy, this borderline pornographic movie of NHL standings...baby Jesus' favorite Red Wings in first while Lucifer's prince has coached his team into the cellar.

I certainly never could have foreseen this when your favorite Destroyer deployed in October. Never, ever, not ever. No defense. A mediocre goalie. Hobbled 39s and 40s and 13s. A lame duck coach just waiting to flee to the tropics of Toronto or Pittsburgh. A borderline challenged GM who absolutely had no frigging clue what he was doing last trade deadline, or last summer, or the deadlines and summers for like a decade before those.

Sophomore slumps, Dan Cleary and stale Tab soda would spell sadness and severe alcoholism on a scale even we couldn't fathom.

We were doomed to stress. Destined for such pitiful sorrow. The streak was over and I was glad I'd miss the carnage.

All the pharmacists said the opposite would happen. Yet, there they sit. Detroit on top. Denver wallowing away in a steaming pile of their own rotten feces, precisely where they belong now and forever. It may not last (but holy mother of fuch it sure could), but it definitely looks nice.

Oh. I've been watching. Not on tv. Oh no. Never that. But I've seen the scores. I've refreshed pages and sites and clicked things. I've watched from afar, far afar. And I've come to some conclusions. Ready?

Mike Babcock goes nowhere. It's got to be fun for him to see this team succeed, just as it's obscenely satisfying for Tick Tock Kenny Holland to watch a mid-December 1st place team made up almost entirely of Detroit-grown products (I believe that only Weiss and Cleary were not drafted or sigend as rookie free agents by Detroit).

Holland will deal, finally, for a stud defenseman. Unlike the last few years of Nick Lidstrom, he will not waste the final seasons of Zetterberg and Datsyuk. He will do what he has to now that it's apparent this team is built to last and, drink up, win now. Naturally, I have no idea who that will be.

The best stat related to this team could very well be its lack of stats. No Red Wing appears in the top five of any significant category. Yet, they lead the East and trail only Anaheim by 3 points for the overall lead. I think that might mean Mike Babcock is kind of a good coach. I don't feel like looking up the special team stats but I think you might remember another decent coach claiming the really good teams are under 10. In other words, Scott Bowman said that is you're good, really good, your teams combined PP and PK ranks are less than that number (10). I'm not sure where Detroit falls, but I bet you it's close.

I don't see much. I read what I can and I look at the stars sometimes and imagine things that make me smile, like puppies and fire trucks and sometimes hookers from days gone by. Not doing anything with them, just being aware of their existence and the warmth they bring my friends. I think of fuzzy full-body pajamas and Arthur Fonzarelli laying waste to anyone who picked on Richie and Ralph and Potsie. I look out at the ocean and imagine Patrick Roy twitching in the unemployment line and parades down Woodward.

Those two last things could happen. I'm just letting you know. They could. They could because we deserve both those things, because we're Red Wing fans and baby Jesus holds us in high regard.

Hope you're all well, bitches. I'll be around when I can.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

Dakkster's avatar

Something must have gone wrong during posting this because… formatting?

Posted by Dakkster from Southern Sweden on 12/10/14 at 03:02 PM ET

Chris in Hockey Hell's avatar

HAIL TO THE MOTHERFUCHING CHIEF!!! (No, not that one)

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from Ann Arbor, MI but LIVING in Columbia, TN on 12/10/14 at 03:04 PM ET

Paul's avatar

Fixed Dak.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 12/10/14 at 03:05 PM ET

Dakkster's avatar

Awesomesauce!

Posted by Dakkster from Southern Sweden on 12/10/14 at 03:12 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Master Chief!  Great to see you.  Kate has been doing a first rate job holding down the fort for you in the live blog department, but you have been missed.

Wonderful to see your post today and I agree - Babcock stays.  I hope so anyway.

All the best to you and your crew, Happy Holidays and, as always,

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from the State where Tigers roam in the Spring on 12/10/14 at 03:23 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Dammit. I always forget something.

Kate has been doing a first rate job holding down the fort for you in the live blog department

She absolutely has. Thank you Kate.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 12/10/14 at 03:28 PM ET

Hippy Dave's avatar

Well, this just made my morning.

Posted by Hippy Dave from Somewhere West of Detroit on 12/10/14 at 03:38 PM ET

OlderThanChelios's avatar

(I believe that only Weiss and Cleary were not drafted or sigend as rookie free agents by Detroit).

You can add that Swedish goalie guy to that list. What the hell was his name again?

In other words, Scott Bowman said that is you’re good, really good, your teams combined PP and PK ranks are less than that number (10). I’m not sure where Detroit falls, but I bet you it’s close.

Ten it is…on the nose (7th on the PP and 3rd on the PK). Seventh on the PP is the really amazing stat, considering they began the year 0-fer-20-something.

I read what I can and I look at the stars sometimes and imagine things that make me smile…

You mean like seeing Adrian Dater get fired for being the douche we always knew he was? I’ll bet it took days for that smile to leave your face.

Safe voyage, Master Chief. Give ‘em hell whenever and wherever you can.

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 12/10/14 at 03:56 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Holy f’in wow eh?

Leave this morning to go on a killing spree. It is that time of year, get rid of all the old birds or birds that don’t make the breeding pen cut. Freezers are full.

Any who, leave this morning, with tonight’s game to look forward to, get home and find a missive from da Chief eh?

It’s almost like Christmas came early.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 12/10/14 at 04:03 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

A post from the Chief….


It’s another Festivus miracle!!

cheese

Posted by Down River Dan on 12/10/14 at 04:16 PM ET

Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit's avatar

Hope you’re all well, bitches. I’ll be around when I can.


Finally, a real Chief entry.  Ahoy, hoy Chief. I am so happy to see you here. You just made my day. wink


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit on 12/10/14 at 04:18 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Sweet Virgin Mary Mother of Miguel Cabrera ! 

I’ll be lifting a Stale Tab in you honor tonight, Master Chief (isn’t that the armored guy in Halo?).

I updated this chart today when Hard at Work but now with Chief posting I feel as inadequate as the time Becky shot me down when I was trying to pick her up in an Irish Bar before the Capitals game as Chief argued with some drunk dude.

P1010222

Any rate, it was this second quarter of the season last year when the Wings went into a funk into the Winter Classic and beyond, coincident with injuries to Datsyuk and Zetterberg. Even if we fall off the current pace we still stand to finish the first half well ahead of last season.

14 v 13 10Dec2014

Posted by RWBill on 12/10/14 at 04:28 PM ET

Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit's avatar

The best stat related to this team could very well be its lack of stats. No Red Wing appears in the top five of any significant category.

Win as a Team. Lose as a Team. This shows the Wings are playing as a Team in every sense of the word. 


Let’s Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit on 12/10/14 at 04:30 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Kate, I hope you saw my earlier comment.  I think you’ve been doing a terrific job keeping the live blogs going.  I decided I just can’t live blog because I miss too much of the action trying to read the comments and type.  But I’m watching, and I’m with the 19+ in spirit.

Posted by MsRedWinger from the State where Tigers roam in the Spring on 12/10/14 at 04:37 PM ET

tkfergy's avatar

(I believe that only Weiss and Cleary were not drafted or sigend as rookie free agents by Detroit).


Drew Miller

Posted by tkfergy on 12/10/14 at 04:44 PM ET

Paul's avatar

So nice to see this post pop up today and to me, the best part of it..

Hope you’re all well, bitches. I’ll be around when I can.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 12/10/14 at 04:59 PM ET

Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit's avatar

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 12/10/14 at 03:37 PM ET

We do miss you around here, MsRedWinger.  I am just happy we are all on the same page. Pun intended.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit on 12/10/14 at 05:17 PM ET

w2j2's avatar

grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin  grin
19 RW fans happy to hear from The Chief!

Send that man a wedge of cheddar and a few “pops”!

Tatar is now drivng the fire truck , Abby is pulling the piano, and MIller! is the brains of the outfit.

Merry Christmas to everyone on the USS Milius!

Posted by w2j2 on 12/10/14 at 05:20 PM ET

ColeCreber's avatar

Whatever bullshit I went through today was just completely erased from memory when I came here and saw this.

Damn good to see it. Thanks MC.

Posted by ColeCreber on 12/10/14 at 05:26 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

I had to do a double take to make sure it was really a post from the Chief!  A little bit of Hockeytown pride swelling in my heart.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 12/10/14 at 05:53 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Salud, Chief, great to see you around.

Posted by RedMenace from Luke Witkowski's Beard on 12/10/14 at 06:09 PM ET

silversailer's avatar

I NOW Consider Patrick Roy A Repeat Jack Adams Winner

This never gets old

Posted by silversailer on 12/10/14 at 06:17 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 12/10/14 at 03:37 PM ET

Thanks, Kate!  I’ll try to pop in more often.

cool smile

Posted by MsRedWinger from the State where Tigers roam in the Spring on 12/10/14 at 06:21 PM ET

gowings's avatar

“Denver wallowing away in a steaming pile of their own rotten feces, precisely where they belong now and forever.”

Wow….just poetry smile


I would also like to say that although I don’t write a lot, reading your live blogs (and that of Kate) are just AWESOME…seriously, the people around here are just great.

GO WINGS
TWO POINTS PLEASE !!!

Posted by gowings from MTL on 12/10/14 at 06:40 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Damn good to see The Chief back!

Speaking of Patty Waaah, I am heading down south to watch the Wings / Avs on Sun,Dec 21,any chance any fellow A2Yers will be there, too?

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie, MI on 12/10/14 at 06:42 PM ET

AxeMaster9's avatar

Whatever bullshit I went through today was just completely erased from memory when I came here and saw this.

Damn good to see it. Thanks MC.

Posted by ColeCreber on 12/10/14 at 04:26 PM ET

+1

Posted by AxeMaster9 from Flint, MI on 12/10/14 at 06:51 PM ET

Avatar

...or does anyone plan on attending the game at the can ?? I’ve got my ducats, and the countdown is on…last time there, the wings shut out the avs 3-0…on peter the teacups’ number retirement night…a local offered to fight me…fun times….most of the avfans will likely be at the tractor pulls scheduled for that same evening….

Posted by dingus from the salty great lake on 12/10/14 at 07:00 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

grin

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 12/10/14 at 07:41 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

Wings take Toronna by a score of 4-2.

GAME ON!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 12/10/14 at 07:42 PM ET

dougie's avatar

And a good day just became a great one!!!! Four exclamation points in the Chief’s honor!

And Patty WHAAAAA is a repeat Jack off, or a repeat Jack ass. that’s ‘bout it.

Posted by dougie on 12/10/14 at 08:14 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Howdy Chief! Good to hear from you.

Hope you & yours had a good Thanksgiving and wishing you all a Merry Christmas (in advance)!

Thanks for your Service! smile

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's Chair on 12/10/14 at 08:26 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Hola, CMC.  Glad you’re with us alive and kicking ass.  Say, y’all gonna get one of the newfangles LaWS sometime on the Mighty Milius?

Posted by SYF from Jackie Redmond's blue eyes on 12/10/14 at 11:31 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Cheers, bitch, good to read you again.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 12/10/14 at 11:54 PM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

I would also like to say that although I don’t write a lot, reading your live blogs (and that of Kate) are just AWESOME…seriously, the people around here are just great.

GO WINGS
TWO POINTS PLEASE !!!

Posted by gowings from MTL on 12/10/14 at 05:40 PM ET

what they said !!  good to see Master Chief make an appearance we miss ya   grin

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michgian on 12/11/14 at 01:04 AM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

Kate, I hope you saw my earlier comment.  I think you’ve been doing a terrific job keeping the live blogs going.  I decided I just can’t live blog because I miss too much of the action trying to read the comments and type.  But I’m watching, and I’m with the 19+ in spirit.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 12/10/14 at 03:37 PM ET

not only are our names similar, I too cannot LB and watch the game .....  always come and read after the games are tho   cool smile

 

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michgian on 12/11/14 at 01:06 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com