Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Hurry Up, Start the Live Blog Before The DBB Gets Any Worse

I rammed my frigging knee into a nifty little ditty we call, interestingly, a “knee knocker.”  The odd thing is that, traditionally, an actual knee knocker is the bottom part of a door frame on a ship that rises about six inches off the deck, causing you to step over it every time you walk through one of 19,000 water tight door frames on this Battle E winning warship. So, usually, if you’re gonna get hurt on a knee knocker it’s the ankle that bears the brunt of the pain.

And, oh we’ll be talking about an ankle in a minute.

But it was the knee that I hurt so badly. I blasted against the side of the door frame as I was stepping through and oh my frigging baby jesus you cynical, caustic, holy and so wise 8 pound keeper of my very soul.  Real pain. Searing, sucking, strength-sapping pain.  I didn’t go to medical because, like all Chiefs (and all men, really), I’m all about the self diagnosis.

Mine? My diagnosis? Yes. That. I could still walk and stretch and lift it with no additional pain. It was just a really painful blow to the kneecap.  What it is, and I’m quite sure about this, is our new famous asspounder of an injury: it’s a deep bone bruise.

And here’s where it gets so very weird.  I limped around whining like a, well, like a bitch.  I complained to everyone who’d listen and since I’m a damn Master Chief I ordered anyone I could find to listen and listen well.  It hurt.  So bad.  I figured, based on my recently acquired knowledge of deep bone bruises, that I’d be out of commission for a week. Two weeks. No more walking around with a cup of coffee, scolding people for my own enjoyment.  No more standing on the fantail smoking cigars and definitely, absolutely zero climbing any ladders to go up a few decks should the need arise.  Oh Hell no.

But the strangest thing happened when I woke up this morning.  I could walk. It feels much, much better.  Did it make me doubt the voracity of my diagnosis? Is it possible that my bone is bruised less deeply than I’d first thought? Surely, if a world class cyborg like Nick Lidstrom can miss a huge pocket of important games, than I’d be crippled by a similar injury.  Am I actually in better condition than Nick Fuching Lidstrom?

Or is there another explanation?

I know a deep bone bruise because I have one.  It hurts but I’m ready to push on.  Ready, I tell you. I could work through the pain and I will.

And Nick Lidstrom can’t?

Bone bruise, eh?  A deep one that’s kept him out ten games now?  Is that it? 9 maybe?  A deep bone bruise let him skate for a few minutes before getting off the ice in LA this morning?  That kind of deep bone bruise?

Liars. Dirty, filthy professional liars is who and what they all are.

“Deep bone bruise”, my ass.  And no that’s not a verb phrase before “my ass”, sickos.

Don’t be fooled my fake friends: If TPH were merely bruised to the bone deeply? He’d be in there.  So go ahead and puke to the tune of that while we Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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hockeychic's avatar

Geez Kronwall, you are lucky the King fell down.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 03/14/12 at 12:47 AM ET

SYF's avatar

JIMMAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 03/14/12 at 12:47 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Damn, Jimmah.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/14/12 at 12:47 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

This team owes Jimmah a win for that one.  Damn.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/14/12 at 12:47 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Well, James F Howard is in the game.  Anyone else?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/14/12 at 12:48 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

JAMES

period

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/14/12 at 12:48 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

James *#$%@& HOWard!

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 12:48 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Here’s to Radulov being a chemistry wrecker in the dressing room. How in the hell can you abandon your teammates and then expect to return to open arms with reach-a-rounds after 2 years.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 03/13/12 at 10:44 PM ET

I think Hudler knows something about that.

BTW, Red Wings…. how ‘bout not hanging Jimmy out to try? K thanks.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 12:48 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Fuch.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/14/12 at 12:48 AM ET

VooX's avatar

Tune it to see Howard make a great save.  And then let one by him.  JFC, all I see is a scramble in our end, is that indicative of the game.

And what are you bitches drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 03/14/12 at 12:49 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Fuch. 

C’mon, Wings.  Get back in it and finish your plays.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 03/14/12 at 12:49 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Oh fuching yay.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/14/12 at 12:49 AM ET

hockeychic's avatar

Some offense please.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 03/14/12 at 12:49 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

nice short whislte on that…oh no wait….

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 03/14/12 at 12:50 AM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Hey guys, the game started.

Sincerely,

Red Wings fans

Posted by SolidTG7 on 03/14/12 at 12:50 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

R.I.P. Tim Bryant and condolences to his family from Red Wings Nation.

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 12:51 AM ET

SYF's avatar

And what are you bitches drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 03/13/12 at 10:49 PM ET

My usual, ya handsome devil.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 03/14/12 at 12:51 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

SOG

LA 7
Det 0

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/14/12 at 12:52 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

R.I.P. Tim Bryant and condolences to his family from Red Wings Nation.

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 12:52 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

And what are you bitches drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 03/13/12 at 10:49 PM ET

KBC - Dark Side of the IPA

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/14/12 at 12:52 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Not a single SOG through nine minutes…again.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 03/14/12 at 12:52 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

And what are you bitches drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 03/13/12 at 10:49 PM ET

I figured since I’m gonna be up past one on work night anyway…  might as well do it right.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 12:53 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Yay, the first shot on goal!  drink!

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/14/12 at 12:53 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

Apologies for the double-post. A bit of lag between submit and post. :/

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 12:53 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Wow.  Cool.  A fuching shot on goal finally.  Only took 8+ minutes.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/14/12 at 12:53 AM ET

Trish's avatar

Nother SOG by Wings wood be nice . . .

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 03/14/12 at 12:53 AM ET

SYF's avatar

8:36 of the first.  Mark it.  That was the Wings’ first SOG in this game.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 03/14/12 at 12:53 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

R.I.P. Tim Bryant and condolences to his family from Red Wings Nation.

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/13/12 at 10:51 PM ET

Seconded.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 12:54 AM ET

SYF's avatar

R.I.P. Tim Bryant and condolences to his family from Red Wings Nation.

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/13/12 at 10:52 PM ET

Aye.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 03/14/12 at 12:54 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Nother SOG by Wings wood be nice . . .

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 03/13/12 at 10:53 PM ET

Greedy.  Just greedy.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 12:56 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

8:36 of the first.  Mark it.  That was the Wings’ first SOG in this game.

Remember, Zetterberg says there’s a switch.  He’s seen it.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/14/12 at 12:56 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

that damn well better be a penalty.  PPG - bank that shit.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/14/12 at 12:57 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Nyquist just took a backhand shot instead of opting to pass to point in an awkward situation.  Hasn’t he gotten the memo?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 12:58 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Over under on Wings SOG during this PP…..  3?


Annnnnd for Shorthanded shots?  6?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 03/14/12 at 12:58 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Obvious trip.  And a PP for the Wings.

Like a train wreck.  I don’t want to look but I can’t help it.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 03/14/12 at 12:58 AM ET

hockeychic's avatar

oh boy a PP.  I’m so excited. (not)

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 03/14/12 at 12:59 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Franzen:  We need every one to get going.

Like you, Horse’s Ass?

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 03/14/12 at 01:00 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

Let’s go Mule!

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 01:00 AM ET

SYF's avatar

The first unit PP looked good getting some chances.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 03/14/12 at 01:01 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Fuch my life.  Fuch my fuching life.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 01:01 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com