Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Hurry Up, Start the Live Blog Before The DBB Gets Any Worse

I rammed my frigging knee into a nifty little ditty we call, interestingly, a “knee knocker.”  The odd thing is that, traditionally, an actual knee knocker is the bottom part of a door frame on a ship that rises about six inches off the deck, causing you to step over it every time you walk through one of 19,000 water tight door frames on this Battle E winning warship. So, usually, if you’re gonna get hurt on a knee knocker it’s the ankle that bears the brunt of the pain.

And, oh we’ll be talking about an ankle in a minute.

But it was the knee that I hurt so badly. I blasted against the side of the door frame as I was stepping through and oh my frigging baby jesus you cynical, caustic, holy and so wise 8 pound keeper of my very soul.  Real pain. Searing, sucking, strength-sapping pain.  I didn’t go to medical because, like all Chiefs (and all men, really), I’m all about the self diagnosis.

Mine? My diagnosis? Yes. That. I could still walk and stretch and lift it with no additional pain. It was just a really painful blow to the kneecap.  What it is, and I’m quite sure about this, is our new famous asspounder of an injury: it’s a deep bone bruise.

And here’s where it gets so very weird.  I limped around whining like a, well, like a bitch.  I complained to everyone who’d listen and since I’m a damn Master Chief I ordered anyone I could find to listen and listen well.  It hurt.  So bad.  I figured, based on my recently acquired knowledge of deep bone bruises, that I’d be out of commission for a week. Two weeks. No more walking around with a cup of coffee, scolding people for my own enjoyment.  No more standing on the fantail smoking cigars and definitely, absolutely zero climbing any ladders to go up a few decks should the need arise.  Oh Hell no.

But the strangest thing happened when I woke up this morning.  I could walk. It feels much, much better.  Did it make me doubt the voracity of my diagnosis? Is it possible that my bone is bruised less deeply than I’d first thought? Surely, if a world class cyborg like Nick Lidstrom can miss a huge pocket of important games, than I’d be crippled by a similar injury.  Am I actually in better condition than Nick Fuching Lidstrom?

Or is there another explanation?

I know a deep bone bruise because I have one.  It hurts but I’m ready to push on.  Ready, I tell you. I could work through the pain and I will.

And Nick Lidstrom can’t?

Bone bruise, eh?  A deep one that’s kept him out ten games now?  Is that it? 9 maybe?  A deep bone bruise let him skate for a few minutes before getting off the ice in LA this morning?  That kind of deep bone bruise?

Liars. Dirty, filthy professional liars is who and what they all are.

“Deep bone bruise”, my ass.  And no that’s not a verb phrase before “my ass”, sickos.

Don’t be fooled my fake friends: If TPH were merely bruised to the bone deeply? He’d be in there.  So go ahead and puke to the tune of that while we Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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SYF's avatar

How can the failed power play be an emotional let down for the team when they were never invested to begin with Larry?

Posted by bezukov from South of Detroit on 03/14/12 at 12:28 AM ET

I heard that.  It was so stupid.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 03/14/12 at 01:29 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Young kids are great, but when two of you go to hit a guy and the puck squirts free to the free man…yeah…not smart. Learned that before pee wee, guys.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 03/14/12 at 01:30 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Abber smash.

Nyquist giving a shit.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 03/14/12 at 01:30 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

Only Detroit 5-3 PP could result on a LA SOG from a clearing attempt. :/

Come on Wings…you ARE better than this. Right?

LGRW!

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 01:31 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Jiri Hudler is our best player tonight.  Just let that sink in.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 01:31 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

Wings are FINALLY shopwing some testicular fortitude.

L.G.R.W!

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 01:32 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Oh fuch, look at the Kings with that forechecking game.

Janik to the box.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 03/14/12 at 01:34 AM ET

Puppies and Hookers's avatar

Dammit Janik!

Posted by Puppies and Hookers from La la land on 03/14/12 at 01:34 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

We need a Kronwalling…NOW!

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 01:34 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

That was reeeeeeeaaaaaaaalllll stupid Dougy.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 01:34 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Why can’t the Wings cycle like that?

Why am I asking asinine questions?

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 03/14/12 at 01:36 AM ET

Puppies and Hookers's avatar

Fuch

Posted by Puppies and Hookers from La la land on 03/14/12 at 01:36 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Woo yay.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 03/14/12 at 01:36 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Special teams.  As in short bus special.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/14/12 at 01:36 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Yeah, thanks, Dougy.

1-4.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 03/14/12 at 01:37 AM ET

ChowYunCat's avatar

The Wings have a huge problem both preventing cycling behind the goal and doing it themselves.

Posted by ChowYunCat on 03/14/12 at 01:37 AM ET

Trish's avatar

bun ova sitch

Posted by Trish from Tampa/Clearwater FL on 03/14/12 at 01:37 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Well this was fun.  I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night.  Good night guys.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 01:37 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Posted by Puppies and Hookers from inside Happy’s windowless van. on 03/14/12 at 12:36 AM ET

You should work your way down and razz Babcock.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 03/14/12 at 01:38 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

Just felt a chill up my spine…after the thought of beloved Wings losing home ice to the likes of Nashville or worse. I shudder.

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 01:38 AM ET

hockeychic's avatar

Sigh.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 03/14/12 at 01:38 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Well, I’ve seen this team score two goals within 8 seconds.

Ah fuch, who’m I kidding…?

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 03/14/12 at 01:39 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Jesus Stoll that was fuching dirty.  Ok I lied.  I’m still hanging around.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 01:40 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Z got a game for that shit.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 03/14/12 at 01:40 AM ET

SYF's avatar

We don’t have a chance on this PP.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 03/14/12 at 01:40 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Goddammit Z just once center that on the short side.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 03/14/12 at 01:40 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Z frustrated.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/14/12 at 01:41 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Hahahahaha. What a *#$%@& leader that guy is.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 03/14/12 at 01:41 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Hey stats guys: put this one down.

Detroit Red Wing giving a fuch at 51:32.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 01:41 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Thanks, Zata.  Killing off the PP on your own.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 03/14/12 at 01:41 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Wow, a Detroit player showing some passion?  Where the hell has that been?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/14/12 at 01:41 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Wow, brown went down crazy easy.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/14/12 at 01:42 AM ET

Trish's avatar

He’s captain?  - is that what down goes brown means ???

Posted by Trish from Tampa/Clearwater FL on 03/14/12 at 01:43 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

That doesn’t really piss me off…they already lost this game. Z just might’ve re-ignited the C talk….IF he backs this up the next handful of games.

Wow, a Detroit player showing some passion?  Where the hell has that been?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/14/12 at 12:41 AM ET

This.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 03/14/12 at 01:43 AM ET

SYF's avatar

The Schmucks and the chum are looking at two easy points this week.

Fuch…

What the fuch has this team become?

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 03/14/12 at 01:44 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

/me wonders why a 4-4 looks like a L.A. PP…

FML.

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 01:44 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Thanks, Zata.  Killing off the PP on your own.

Posted by SYF from fashionista dougie’s newly violated Droid 4G on 03/14/12 at 12:41 AM ET

Can you say “mercy kill?”

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 01:44 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

The Kings fans even sound sour about this game and they’re winning.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 01:46 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

5-1.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 03/14/12 at 01:46 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

You’re welcome.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 03/14/12 at 01:48 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com