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Abel to Yzerman

Hurry Up, Start the Live Blog Before The DBB Gets Any Worse

I rammed my frigging knee into a nifty little ditty we call, interestingly, a “knee knocker.”  The odd thing is that, traditionally, an actual knee knocker is the bottom part of a door frame on a ship that rises about six inches off the deck, causing you to step over it every time you walk through one of 19,000 water tight door frames on this Battle E winning warship. So, usually, if you’re gonna get hurt on a knee knocker it’s the ankle that bears the brunt of the pain.

And, oh we’ll be talking about an ankle in a minute.

But it was the knee that I hurt so badly. I blasted against the side of the door frame as I was stepping through and oh my frigging baby jesus you cynical, caustic, holy and so wise 8 pound keeper of my very soul.  Real pain. Searing, sucking, strength-sapping pain.  I didn’t go to medical because, like all Chiefs (and all men, really), I’m all about the self diagnosis.

Mine? My diagnosis? Yes. That. I could still walk and stretch and lift it with no additional pain. It was just a really painful blow to the kneecap.  What it is, and I’m quite sure about this, is our new famous asspounder of an injury: it’s a deep bone bruise.

And here’s where it gets so very weird.  I limped around whining like a, well, like a bitch.  I complained to everyone who’d listen and since I’m a damn Master Chief I ordered anyone I could find to listen and listen well.  It hurt.  So bad.  I figured, based on my recently acquired knowledge of deep bone bruises, that I’d be out of commission for a week. Two weeks. No more walking around with a cup of coffee, scolding people for my own enjoyment.  No more standing on the fantail smoking cigars and definitely, absolutely zero climbing any ladders to go up a few decks should the need arise.  Oh Hell no.

But the strangest thing happened when I woke up this morning.  I could walk. It feels much, much better.  Did it make me doubt the voracity of my diagnosis? Is it possible that my bone is bruised less deeply than I’d first thought? Surely, if a world class cyborg like Nick Lidstrom can miss a huge pocket of important games, than I’d be crippled by a similar injury.  Am I actually in better condition than Nick Fuching Lidstrom?

Or is there another explanation?

I know a deep bone bruise because I have one.  It hurts but I’m ready to push on.  Ready, I tell you. I could work through the pain and I will.

And Nick Lidstrom can’t?

Bone bruise, eh?  A deep one that’s kept him out ten games now?  Is that it? 9 maybe?  A deep bone bruise let him skate for a few minutes before getting off the ice in LA this morning?  That kind of deep bone bruise?

Liars. Dirty, filthy professional liars is who and what they all are.

“Deep bone bruise”, my ass.  And no that’s not a verb phrase before “my ass”, sickos.

Don’t be fooled my fake friends: If TPH were merely bruised to the bone deeply? He’d be in there.  So go ahead and puke to the tune of that while we Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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SolidTG7's avatar

Ah Chief, you always know how to make us feel warm and fuzzy.

LGRW

Posted by SolidTG7 on 03/14/12 at 12:13 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

have no idea what a deep bone bruise feels like, and no desire to find out either.

I have banged my knee hard enough to make me want to loose breakfast, or even second breakfast.

I was always under the impression that cyborgs do not feel pain? maybe it is a slipped sprocket ailing TPH

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/14/12 at 12:15 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

thanks, Master Chief.

I’ve been thinking the same aboot our TPH ...

RSV ... but it’s our TPH. So I’m still chirping 12 in 12.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/14/12 at 12:15 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Hola, Hombre.  Yeah, that’s with a capital “H” and deservedly so.  Your warship and crew should be heading home now, right?  Rudders to the home shores, Sailor.

So we won’t see that quitter Radulov in the lineup tonight as he’s still undecided about whether he wants to deal with the No Neck Trotz anymore but we got our own problems.

Just get the two points, Wings.  Just.Get.Them.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 03/14/12 at 12:16 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Let’s do this shit.

Part timing between the game and Glenn Beck show tonight.  And house shopping.  And listening to the wife nag.

Hell maybe I can claim a lower body injury and retire to my office for the night….

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 03/14/12 at 12:16 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

“Deep bone bruise”, my ass.  And no that’s not a verb phrase before “my ass”, sickos.

Hey we resemble that Chief.  Hope the legs gets better quick than TPH’s, sounds painful.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 12:17 AM ET

SYF's avatar

OMG.  I forgot we’re playing the fuching KINGS. 

Oh shit.  That Radulov thing just bugs the fuching hell outta me.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 03/14/12 at 12:18 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

That Radulov thing just bugs the fuching hell outta me.

Posted by SYF from fashionista dougie’s newly violated Droid 4G on 03/13/12 at 10:18 PM ET

Its bullshit, contract or no contract.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 12:19 AM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

I hope this Radulov thing makes it hard for them to sign Suter, it would be nice karmic justice if they lose in the 1st round too.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 03/14/12 at 12:25 AM ET

George Malik's avatar

Chief, you may drop me head-first on a knee knocker if you want (and I know exactly how vicious those things are), but I’m gonna be the conscientious objector to the Lidstrom “Must have a broken X, sprained Y or torn Z.” Bone bruises are so remarkably unpredictable that they can heal in a few days for one person and take three or four months to heal in others, and when that bone bruise heals has nothing to do with where you get hurt, how much milk you drink 9or cigars you smoke) to keep your bones healthy, or how in shape one is.

The problem with Nick’s bone bruise is that it apparently prevents him from putting all his weight on his toes to push off because the pressure in his foot shifts back to the back/side of his ankle and heel as those parts of his foot dig into the stiff back of his skate, and so he’s got to battle through pain during every skating stride. That’s why he’s so limited.

Bone bruises are worse than those pesky “high ankle sprains” or even broken bones because there is no real “timeline” whatsoever for the bone to heal. It’s bone, and bone takes the time it takes to regenerate.

As soon as he can skate, he will. He’s absolutely miserable in the press box, which is probably the best news I’ve heard about him all week.

Posted by George Malik from South Lyon, MI on 03/14/12 at 12:26 AM ET

Trish's avatar

Aloha bitches, lets do this thing vs this team, eh?

LGRW

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 03/14/12 at 12:30 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Its bullshit, contract or no contract.

Posted by bezukov from South of Detroit on 03/13/12 at 10:19 PM ET


I hope this Radulov thing makes it hard for them to sign Suter, it would be nice karmic justice if they lose in the 1st round too.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 03/13/12 at 10:25 PM ET

We got one more game against the Preds at the Joe on Fri. Mar. 30th.  Here’s hoping the faithful at the Joe lays into him mercilessly…unless, of course, he’s completely gutless and doesn’t decide to play for the Preds.

Enough about the 55-gallon turdbucket.  Just waiting on an FSD Feed.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 03/14/12 at 12:31 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

3 power play goals tonight for Detroit.  Bank on that shit bitches.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/14/12 at 12:32 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Ah damn.  I forgot Mickey doesn’t go on long road trips.  Now I need a drink to keep up with Murph.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 12:32 AM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Marble mouth Murph

Posted by SolidTG7 on 03/14/12 at 12:35 AM ET

Avatar

Ah damn.  I forgot Mickey doesn’t go on long road trips.  Now I need a drink to keep up with Murph.

Posted by bezukov from South of Detroit on 03/13/12 at 10:32 PM ET

You needed to start drinking Sunday to keep up with Murph tonight.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/14/12 at 12:36 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Real pain. Searing, sucking, strength-sapping pain.


Evenin’ Bitches. Aloha Master Chief.

I know all too well the knee pain, but, that’s cause I’m old. But it still can’t stop me from getting 2 points.

Let’s Roll.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/14/12 at 12:37 AM ET

hockeychic's avatar

Evening 19!

Let’s do this.  GO Wings!

Chief, I hope you are feeling better.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 03/14/12 at 12:37 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

FSD FEED

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/14/12 at 12:37 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Time to win a hockey game.

Fuch Radulov and Bettman.

LGRW.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/14/12 at 12:39 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Thanks, Yoop.  I had a FSW feed ready to post.

Let’s do this, Wings.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 03/14/12 at 12:39 AM ET

SYF's avatar

HEMI Line.Starters.  Nice.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 03/14/12 at 12:39 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Jimmah is back!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/14/12 at 12:41 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Wings contingency is large.  Nice showing, Wings fans!

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 03/14/12 at 12:41 AM ET

Bent's avatar

You made me have a sad, chief.

Oh well, gotta live in the present. Do this wings.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/14/12 at 12:41 AM ET

Norskirama's avatar

What was that cheer they were doing to the Addams Family theme?

Posted by Norskirama from Lincoln, Nebraska on 03/14/12 at 12:42 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Kings throwing the body late into some hits.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 03/14/12 at 12:42 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

You needed to start drinking Sunday to keep up with Murph tonight.

Posted by Valek on 03/13/12 at 10:36 PM ET

Who says I didn’t?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 12:43 AM ET

Avatar

wow, pretty blatant hook there.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/14/12 at 12:43 AM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Smoke 1 Cigar a day Master Chief.  It is kinda weird that the Wings usually come out with a player’s injury during the season where most teams just use the upper , lower body etc. You just have to know that Pav’s and TPH’s injuries are worse than reported.

Here’s to Radulov being a chemistry wrecker in the dressing room. How in the hell can you abandon your teammates and then expect to return to open arms with reach-a-rounds after 2 years.

Have a great LB 19 I may watch the 1st and will crawl into the rack and catch the highlights in the AM.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 03/14/12 at 12:44 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Some pretty good forechecking tonight.  Me likey.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/14/12 at 12:44 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Kings barely have any offensive game.  Dangerous.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 03/14/12 at 12:44 AM ET

hockeychic's avatar

Please more than two shots this period.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 03/14/12 at 12:44 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

What was that cheer they were doing to the Addams Family theme?

Posted by Norskirama from Lincoln, Nebraska on 03/13/12 at 10:42 PM ET

Have you ever looked at a picture of Anze Kopitar??????

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/14/12 at 12:45 AM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

Greetings 19 from SoDak!

LGRW!

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/14/12 at 12:45 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

What was that cheer they were doing to the Addams Family theme?

Sounded like the crowd was chanting “We suck!”

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/14/12 at 12:45 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Jimmah!

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/14/12 at 12:45 AM ET

SYF's avatar

JIMMAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 03/14/12 at 12:45 AM ET

Avatar

How the fuch is that faceoff stay in the Wings zone when the Kings’ player wrecked the net?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/14/12 at 12:46 AM ET

SYF's avatar

LGRW!

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 03/13/12 at 10:45 PM ET

Operative word is “unfiltered.”

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 03/14/12 at 12:47 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com