Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Hey Pinky…We’ve Missed You Big Boy

In case you’d forgotten, this literary genius doesn’t like you.  Not one bit.

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I’ve got to tell you. Over all these years, tens of thousands of posts, a million PBRs, and countless contentious discussions with bloggers from other towns, writing about teams inferior to ours…laying waste to Hockey Wilderness’ Brian Reynolds was some of the most fun we’ve had. 

Let’s take a stroll back to the A2Y archives and pull out a couple highlights.  And remember, this whole ditty started because Big Pinky was downright tearful that the Wild weren’t giving him The Access he damn well deserves.  Like our pal Dater, he wants…no he craves…the chance to “bond” with his heroes.  Pinky believes that bloggers should be right there asking the tough questions, drilling down and drilling deep.  And, don’t forget, Pinky felt it was dirty men like me that kept him from fulfilling his locker room fantasies.

Thank you IwoCPO, and From Abel to Yzerman for ensuring that NHL teams always have plenty of ammunition to use when denying credentials to bloggers who actually have some professionalism. We appreciate it.


You’re welcome Pinky. You were welcome on my birthday in 2009 when you wrote your little manifesto and welcome you remain to this day.

Oh did we blast him that day. We pelted him with juveniliciousness in the post and then you absolutely hammered him that day, and for many, many days after in comments.  Pinky comes up at the oddest times.  He’s the gift that just keeps on giving.  We appreciate you Pinky, you bloated self-righteous mound of a man.  Thank you for all you do every day.

I have no idea whether Big Pinky has his coveted access yet.  I hope he does, because we want him to be happy. Especially since his team, you know, sucks ass.  But Pinky? Don’t forget what you are, son. Don’t ever forget one of our first descriptions of you.

Ned Beatty on a crusade.


You got a real pretty mouth, Pinky. And in case I didn’t tell you three years ago? Nice hat, dipshit.

Now go ahead and suck on this Live Blog.

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Comments

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Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Moose - - not so much.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/02/12 at 10:03 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Møøse mïssed

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/02/12 at 10:03 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Do the words “Homeless guy’s ass crack” mean anything to you?

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 03/02/12 at 07:56 PM ET

It means no masturbating tonight.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/02/12 at 10:04 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Dogfish Head Punkin Ale?

Oh, NO….. I dug deeper into the recently reclaimed mancave fridge and found something called Shock Top. Thought I was getting something hoppy, took a big swig, spit it out, and saw a big pumpkin on the label.

Oh, yes, I had TWO pumpkin flavored beers left in my fridge. What a gay sumbitch. I’m burning his Wonder Woman coasters

Posted by dougie on 03/02/12 at 10:04 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Yes, but I’m a World Class douche…. you may call me Sir Summer Breeze.

Posted by calquake on 03/02/12 at 08:03 PM ET

World Class Douche AND the head of the Stupid Committee—you’re a jack(off) of all trades, aren’t you?

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 03/02/12 at 10:04 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Yes, but I’m a World Class douche…. you may call me Sir Summer Breeze.

So fresh, so natural… come here, you.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/02/12 at 10:04 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Last three shifts by teh Wings were awesome.  Great offensive press.

Catch y’all on the flipside, 19.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 03/02/12 at 10:05 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Posted by dougie on 03/02/12 at 08:04 PM ET

Shock Top pumpkin?! Shit’s orange, usually…

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 03/02/12 at 10:05 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Didn’t know Shock Top had a pumpkin. I’ll be sure to avoid it. The regular stuff is decent.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/02/12 at 10:05 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Catch y’all on the flipside, 19.

Posted by SYF from fashionista dougie’s drunken iPhone on 03/02/12 at 08:05 PM ET

FVKCING FINALLY—I mean, catch you later, SYF.

wink

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 03/02/12 at 10:06 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Oh, NO….. I dug deeper into the recently reclaimed mancave fridge and found something called Shock Top. Thought I was getting something hoppy, took a big swig, spit it out, and saw a big pumpkin on the label.

HAHAHA Shock Top.

Oh, yes, I had TWO pumpkin flavored beers left in my fridge. What a gay sumbitch. I’m burning his Wonder Woman coasters

HAAHAHAHAHAHAH

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/02/12 at 10:06 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Holy PHuck, I must have just come down off something,  does any one ELSE realize the score is JUST 1-0?  I was thinking it was 9-0.

This ain’t GOOD.

Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 03/02/12 at 08:01 PM ET

Wait…...there’s a GAME going on???

Posted by dougie on 03/02/12 at 10:06 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I swear that puck went through the net. Too much h2o.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/02/12 at 10:06 PM ET

calquake's avatar

World Class Douche AND the head of the Stupid Committee—you’re a jack(off) of all trades, aren’t you?

I’m just the guy next door type.  You know… windows shut, shades drawn, never makes eye contact.  Just your average American psycho.

Posted by calquake on 03/02/12 at 10:07 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

does any one ELSE realize the score is JUST 1-0?  I was thinking it was 9-0.

That’s just the Hit count

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/02/12 at 10:07 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Posted by calquake on 03/02/12 at 08:07 PM ET

You were at the inaugural H2H, right?

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 03/02/12 at 10:07 PM ET

monkey's avatar

ABBA DABBA DO

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/02/12 at 10:07 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Gator bitches… gator

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

Trish's avatar

Gator   Yessssssssssssss

Posted by Trish from Tampa/Clearwater FL on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Sparty or Buckets?

YES

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Abby!!!  More fun than a homeless drunk’s ass crack!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

DARTH ABDELKADER.  You don’t know the power… of the fourth line.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

shocked we didnt get called fora trip. Gladly take the goal.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

#2

Even better

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Smithy!

Lets Go Red

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Smitty!

Posted by SolidTG7 on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Nevermind… Smith!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  in front of his parents no less.  Fugging awesome!

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Darth Gater!

or was it Smith?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/02/12 at 10:08 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

ABBA DABBA DO

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 03/02/12 at 08:07 PM ET

WHAT THE DICK TITS?!

That was like, a whole *#$%@& minute early!

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 03/02/12 at 10:09 PM ET

Trish's avatar

Ooops Smitty

Posted by Trish from Tampa/Clearwater FL on 03/02/12 at 10:09 PM ET

scotts0's avatar

The Swedish announcers aren’t as enthused about a Wings goal as Mick would be.  But that could also be because it was Abby and not one of their own…

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 03/02/12 at 10:09 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

GGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL

smitty buries it

ggggggggrrrrrreeeeEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/02/12 at 10:09 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Gawd - - how many times have we heard the opponent - - 1st goal of the season?

Good for us.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/02/12 at 10:09 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

That was like, a whole *#$%@& minute early!

Posted by RedMenace

Seriously, join the Pirate Party with the rest of us.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 03/02/12 at 10:09 PM ET

scotts0's avatar

The Swedish announcers aren’t as enthused about a Wings goal as Mick would be.  But that could also be because it was Abby and not one of their own…

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 03/02/12 at 08:09 PM ET

I mean Smith…still not a Swede though…

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 03/02/12 at 10:09 PM ET

monkey's avatar

That was like, a whole *#$%@& minute early!

My feed is from Denmark.  Think on that for a while.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 03/02/12 at 10:09 PM ET

calquake's avatar

You were at the inaugural H2H, right?

Posted by RedMenace from the darkest recesses on 03/02/12 at 08:07 PM ET

Sure, just ask Nate A or MOWings.  They got a close-up of Summer Breeze in action.

Posted by calquake on 03/02/12 at 10:10 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Correction on the goal, Brendan Smith—also more fun than a homeless drunk’s ass crack.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/02/12 at 10:10 PM ET

Rdwings28's avatar

who do we get if they yank Harding, looking like a goalfest

Posted by Rdwings28 on 03/02/12 at 10:10 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

But that could also be because it was Abby and not one of their own…

Posted by scotts0 from New York on 03/02/12 at 08:09 PM ET

How do you say “Grapes” in Swedish?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 03/02/12 at 10:10 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com