Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Hey Edzo, C’mon In And Suck On This Live Blog

Live on OLN!

For most of you anyway.  One of the Armed Forces Network channels we get will be airing the NFL, and I understand that. The other is playing the Army/Navy basketball game, and this is absolutely idiotic. Look, I’m as Joe Navy as the next guy..but Holy. Hell. Nobody wants to see that. Nobody’s gonna watch it. Nobody cares. Oh and by the way, AFN? You can suck it right along with Edzo.  11 NBA games on AFN Sports next week. One NHL game.

Here are the things I predict will happen today:

—Johan Franzen will take Patrick Kane’s mouthpiece and stick it straight up Steve Montador’s ass. Edzo will find that offensive.
—James F. Tiberius Howard will freeze the puck, stop the puck, kick the puck, lick the puck, juggle the puck, headbutt the puck and give the puck eskimo kisses instead of letting it go by him.  Again, this won’t be received well by Edzo.
—Some prankster will hold up a sign that has the word “camel” and “toe(w)s” in it, just like that. It will be aired and it will be funny.  Edzo will cross his legs.
—My Uncle Mike Babcock will tell the Douche Canoe that he can’t wait to get busy in that Big House because he’s pretty damn sure it’s the only place big enough to contain the awesomeness that is Nick Lidstrom.  Yes, TPH will be playing.
—Jonathon Toews and Hank Zetterberg will have a discussion after the whistle and it will be something along these lines…

Toews: “Those Blues, man they’re looking tough.  Three team race, eh?”
Zetterberg…silence
Zetterberg…“You’re not serious are you?”
Toews…“Fuch no”

Game 3 of the WCF preview is today in Hockeytown on OLN with Edzo and the Douche Canoe and 20,000 Hawk-hating patriots. 

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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stayouttamalibu's avatar

Morning bitches. Milbury, neither of these teams are elite eh? Interesting.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 01/14/12 at 03:43 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Berts groin must still be sore, he was no where near that play defensively.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:44 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Inside the glass = dick in a box

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 12:42 PM ET

+19

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 03:45 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Eveni…

Err…

Afternoon whores.

‘Sup bitches?

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 03:45 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Guffaw, Edzo thinks the Hawks have depth.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:45 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

WTF would Chicago make a trade just because Sharp is hurt Pierre?  Fuching retard.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/14/12 at 03:45 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Yak emulating TPH.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 03:46 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

You could make an elite level team with all the players Milbury has traded away as a GM.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 12:39 PM ET

Oh yea.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 03:47 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Yak emulating TPH.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom’s head telling him 1 more year on 01/14/12 at 12:46 PM ET

Never a bad idea

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:47 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Is that license plate for real Bill?

If so, it’s phenomenal.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 03:48 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

SOG so far in the first 10-0 wings

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 03:49 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

How many penalty shots will be called for the Hawks today?

National NBC game.  The Hawks are playing.  The Wings are playing.  I’m guessing at least two.

None converted ‘cause the Master Chief says so.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 03:50 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

I’m surprised Eddie is talking coherently with all that cHawk in his mouth.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 03:52 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Homer hooked on a breakaway. Predictably, not even a penalty.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:52 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Anybody else getting more and ..HOLY CRAP HOMER WITH A BREAKAWAY…more impressed with Yak?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:52 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Oh Emmerton, golden chance, dammit.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 01/14/12 at 03:53 PM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

NBC play-by-play after 10-0 SOG for the Wings?

Edzo: “Hrumph, slobber, gobble, Cawks, slurp, lots of excellent stops by Crawford, gobble, slurp.”

The bile is beginning to bubble up to my craw.

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 01/14/12 at 03:53 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Good chance there, bouncing puck keeps it from being 1-0.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 03:53 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

*#$%@& Bert…make that hit

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:54 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

The sublime hardworking amazing beautiful and brilliant superstar that is Jimmy Hays getting more air time.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:54 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Anybody else getting more and ..HOLY CRAP HOMER WITH A BREAKAWAY…more impressed with Yak?

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 01/14/12 at 12:52 PM ET

I was just about to type how much I like Yak more and more each time I watch him play.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 01/14/12 at 03:55 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

The sublime hardworking amazing beautiful and brilliant superstar that is Jimmy Hays getting more air time.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 12:54 PM ET

Fuch.  That guy is awesome.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 03:55 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Hey NBC camera operators, is it really that hard to point the camera in the general direction of the puck?

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 01/14/12 at 03:57 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

PP Bitches

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:57 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Woah, was that a judgment call penalty in the Wings favor? and in the defensive zone???

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:57 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Hold the whiskey please.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 03:57 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Need to get a goal soon, lots of good pressure means jack unless you get a lead.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 03:58 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

wow 14-2 sogs to Wings

Posted by pgoody on 01/14/12 at 03:58 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Hide the Kessler’s. Smooth as silk.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 03:58 PM ET

Avatar

Hey NBC camera operators, is it really that hard to point the camera in the general direction of the puck?

Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 01/14/12 at 12:57 PM ET

NBC can’t hire competent announcers, and yet you expect competent cameramen?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/14/12 at 03:58 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Wonder how many showers TPH had to take after that commercial with Corey Perry.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 03:59 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

TPH would never make friends with Corey Perry, unless it was to gain his trust and take him out when he least expects it.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/14/12 at 04:00 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

WHITE POWER

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 04:00 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

WOOO

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 04:01 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

YESSSSSS

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/14/12 at 04:01 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Bingo Bango

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 04:01 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

He did that the White way.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 04:01 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Scratch that, Homer gets that.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 04:01 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

TPH!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 04:01 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Homer Sweet!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 04:01 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com