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Abel to Yzerman

Hey Edzo, C’mon In And Suck On This Live Blog

Live on OLN!

For most of you anyway.  One of the Armed Forces Network channels we get will be airing the NFL, and I understand that. The other is playing the Army/Navy basketball game, and this is absolutely idiotic. Look, I’m as Joe Navy as the next guy..but Holy. Hell. Nobody wants to see that. Nobody’s gonna watch it. Nobody cares. Oh and by the way, AFN? You can suck it right along with Edzo.  11 NBA games on AFN Sports next week. One NHL game.

Here are the things I predict will happen today:

—Johan Franzen will take Patrick Kane’s mouthpiece and stick it straight up Steve Montador’s ass. Edzo will find that offensive.
—James F. Tiberius Howard will freeze the puck, stop the puck, kick the puck, lick the puck, juggle the puck, headbutt the puck and give the puck eskimo kisses instead of letting it go by him.  Again, this won’t be received well by Edzo.
—Some prankster will hold up a sign that has the word “camel” and “toe(w)s” in it, just like that. It will be aired and it will be funny.  Edzo will cross his legs.
—My Uncle Mike Babcock will tell the Douche Canoe that he can’t wait to get busy in that Big House because he’s pretty damn sure it’s the only place big enough to contain the awesomeness that is Nick Lidstrom.  Yes, TPH will be playing.
—Jonathon Toews and Hank Zetterberg will have a discussion after the whistle and it will be something along these lines…

Toews: “Those Blues, man they’re looking tough.  Three team race, eh?”
Zetterberg…silence
Zetterberg…“You’re not serious are you?”
Toews…“Fuch no”

Game 3 of the WCF preview is today in Hockeytown on OLN with Edzo and the Douche Canoe and 20,000 Hawk-hating patriots. 

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 01/14/12 at 01:29 PM ET

Pretty wrinkly.  A lot of miles on that pussy.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/14/12 at 03:32 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Wakey wakey boys. 2nd period has started.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:33 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Killer trying to return the favor to Pavs.  Nice.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 01/14/12 at 03:33 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

THE.  Perfect.  Human.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/14/12 at 03:34 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Nice update on Sid “Not today I have a headache” Rosby. Because, everyone cares…..

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 01/14/12 at 03:34 PM ET

Joe Z.'s avatar

haha kane.. hahaha

Posted by Joe Z. from Austria on 01/14/12 at 03:35 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Stop missing faceoffs. Especially in the attacking zone. NBC is so frigging useless.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:35 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

How exactly does Lidstrom lifting 20 cent’s stick and taking the puck away constitute a “good start to the 2nd by chicago”?

Edzo never misses a thing.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/14/12 at 03:36 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Future HOFer Jimmy Hayes with a rare miss.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 03:36 PM ET

Avatar

Future HOFer Jimmy Hayes with a rare miss.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 01:36 PM ET

That was only because the puck was bouncing.  Puck apparently didn’t get the message that Hayes is the second coming of Gretzky

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/14/12 at 03:37 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Oh gee…NBC showing Caps and Penguins next week.

Anybody suprised?

Me neither.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:38 PM ET

Avatar

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/14/12 at 01:36 PM E

20 cent? hahaha…. I don’t always do these so maybe that’s a common name for him among the 19, but that made my day - thanks.

(P.S. I’ll take credit for it next time my friends and I are shitting on the Hawks.)

Posted by LGRWeh on 01/14/12 at 03:39 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Nice Dangle Helm

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:39 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Gotta be quicker than that Miller.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 01/14/12 at 03:39 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Shoot the damn puck already.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 03:40 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Anyways, I really hate these ‘early’ games, they just don’t jive with my schedule.

Posted by LGRWeh

ya, and you; gotts to get up afor noon.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 03:42 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

typical run-of-the-mill line change and Doc feels compelled to inform the viewer that “Jimmy Hayes comes to the bench”.  Thanks Doc.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/14/12 at 03:42 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Walked in with a handful of pencils and I see a 2-nil lead for the Wings.  Niiiiiiiiiice…

...except for the fact that it’s on NBC so I mute immediately.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/14/12 at 03:43 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Pierre names all of his squirts Sidney Crosby and carefully wraps them in kleenex.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/14/12 at 03:44 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Really?  A hand pass just because the Wings have a two-on-one break?

Fuch you…

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/14/12 at 03:44 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Pierre names all of his squirts Sidney Crosby and carefully wraps them in kleenex.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom’s head telling him 1 more year on 01/14/12 at 01:44 PM ET

+19

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/14/12 at 03:45 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Pierre names all of his squirts Sidney Crosby and carefully wraps them in kleenex.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom’s head telling him 1 more year on 01/14/12 at 01:44 PM ET


Dude… naw…


is all that comes to mind.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 01/14/12 at 03:45 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Jimmy says “Fuch You Keith”

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:45 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Jimmah!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 03:45 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

stretch pass….r i g h t….got it. Fascinating.

Right up there with wind assist.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 01/14/12 at 03:46 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Oh crap.  Something’s come up, 19.

Catch y’all on the flipside.

And there’s $0.20 doing what he does every friggin’ time he’s on the ice:  being a Brazilian buzzcut douchebag.

Later.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/14/12 at 03:46 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Wow, NBC shot of Kane on the bench. He slammed his stick down and looked like he was near tears.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:46 PM ET

Avatar

ya, and you; gotts to get up afor noon.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 01:42 PM ET

haha, I try too - and do during the week….. but Saturdays are a lot harder for me.

Posted by LGRWeh on 01/14/12 at 03:47 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Pierre names all of his squirts Sidney Crosby and carefully wraps them in kleenex.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom’s head telling him 1 more year on 01/14/12 at 01:44 PM ET

Made me spit my coffee halfway across the room.  Brilliant

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/14/12 at 03:48 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

SOG after one 21-4 wings. half way through the second 22-6 wings

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 03:49 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

God these announcers (minus Doc for the most part) are so fuching difficult to bear.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 01/14/12 at 03:49 PM ET

Avatar

Not that it matters but am I homering because I don’t think Cleary’s stick looked like it was above the bar. (from the one bad angle we could see…)

Every non FSD game I say this BUT….. Christ I miss Ken and Mickey. Murph… not so much… but a little.

Then there’s my John Keating man crush…..

Posted by LGRWeh on 01/14/12 at 03:49 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

When did Doc become a douche?

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 03:51 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Playing like they have a 2-0 lead.  Need to get that 3rd goal.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 03:52 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

It’s 10:30pm here in the placid Arabian Sea bitches.  I’m off to bed.  I’ll say a prayer to Tiberius and the manger miracle 8 pounder that the game turns out well for all 19 of us.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/14/12 at 01:29 PM ET

Nighty, night. Master Chief.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 03:52 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

God these announcers (minus Doc for the most part) are so fuching difficult to bear.

Amen. I am watching with Mrs. Bear and even she is calling them out.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 01/14/12 at 03:53 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

When did Doc become a douche?

That shit must be contagious.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/14/12 at 03:53 PM ET

Avatar

Light the switch?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/14/12 at 03:54 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Helm to Cleary. Stoned.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:54 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Jimmy. Wow

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:55 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com