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Abel to Yzerman

Hey Edzo, C’mon In And Suck On This Live Blog

Live on OLN!

For most of you anyway.  One of the Armed Forces Network channels we get will be airing the NFL, and I understand that. The other is playing the Army/Navy basketball game, and this is absolutely idiotic. Look, I’m as Joe Navy as the next guy..but Holy. Hell. Nobody wants to see that. Nobody’s gonna watch it. Nobody cares. Oh and by the way, AFN? You can suck it right along with Edzo.  11 NBA games on AFN Sports next week. One NHL game.

Here are the things I predict will happen today:

—Johan Franzen will take Patrick Kane’s mouthpiece and stick it straight up Steve Montador’s ass. Edzo will find that offensive.
—James F. Tiberius Howard will freeze the puck, stop the puck, kick the puck, lick the puck, juggle the puck, headbutt the puck and give the puck eskimo kisses instead of letting it go by him.  Again, this won’t be received well by Edzo.
—Some prankster will hold up a sign that has the word “camel” and “toe(w)s” in it, just like that. It will be aired and it will be funny.  Edzo will cross his legs.
—My Uncle Mike Babcock will tell the Douche Canoe that he can’t wait to get busy in that Big House because he’s pretty damn sure it’s the only place big enough to contain the awesomeness that is Nick Lidstrom.  Yes, TPH will be playing.
—Jonathon Toews and Hank Zetterberg will have a discussion after the whistle and it will be something along these lines…

Toews: “Those Blues, man they’re looking tough.  Three team race, eh?”
Zetterberg…silence
Zetterberg…“You’re not serious are you?”
Toews…“Fuch no”

Game 3 of the WCF preview is today in Hockeytown on OLN with Edzo and the Douche Canoe and 20,000 Hawk-hating patriots. 

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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SolidTG7's avatar

Always good to get that second goal since a weird play could easily tie the game up.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 04:10 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

What an unreal pass by Pavel.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 01/14/12 at 01:08 PM ET

Magical.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 04:11 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Posted by IwoCPO

you watching, listening to the game?

or just feeding off the blog?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 04:12 PM ET

jimathor's avatar

Well, the pencils are staying in the drawer this evening.

I’m off to work, fighting with the charming english drunks.

Good times. Bitches.

Posted by jimathor from The land of Sir Humblepatch of Bumblehound on 01/14/12 at 04:12 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Holy Todd Bertuzzi, bitches!

Is there really anything finer than watching a Red Wing bury a breakaway?

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 01/14/12 at 04:13 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

sphincter minute

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 04:13 PM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

Things that make me go Hmmm.

How many goals does Detroit have to score in this game before the Cawk-gobbling switches to disgruntled respect for the Wings?

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 01/14/12 at 04:14 PM ET

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Edzo hoping for too-many men again.  Never mind no one near the bench touched the puck.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/14/12 at 04:14 PM ET

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Man, it is night and day between home and road games.  Crazy, but I guess age and a tough time-zone spot will do that.  But they look twice as good as the last time they played the Khawks.

Posted by TearsforColtonOrr on 01/14/12 at 04:14 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

you watching, listening to the game?

or just feeding off the blog?

Completely off the blog. I have the NHL.com scoretracker up but those fuchers are a minute behind and refresh doesn’t always work. Nice job with that Gary. Ass.

Blog comments go right to my inbox.  It’s pretty funny. I know that when I get ten emails in a span of five seconds something good or really shitty has happened.  I can also tell about 80 percent of the time who’s written the comment before I even see the name of my fake friend.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/14/12 at 04:14 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

How many goals does Detroit have to score in this game before the Cawk-gobbling switches to disgruntled respect for the Wings?

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 01/14/12 at 01:14 PM ET

I’m guessing MAYBE at 5-0…but then only in the last couple minutes

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 04:15 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Sphincter second.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 04:15 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

How many goals does Detroit have to score in this game before the Cawk-gobbling switches to disgruntled respect for the Wings?

They’re still resisting. There was another too many men comment moments ago.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 04:15 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Seabrook in the shooting hole???????

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/14/12 at 04:15 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Thought I’d change things up a little today

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 04:17 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

They’re still resisting. There was another too many men comment moments ago.

Must be nice to root for a team that has perfect changes every single time all the time.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 04:17 PM ET

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HOLY FUCH!!!!!!  Crosby and the Penguins?!?!? FUCH YOU NBC!!!

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/14/12 at 04:19 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

It’s the Rosby intermission report.  jeebus fuchin crites.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 04:19 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Oh look, the mandatory Penguins update during a game of two totally unrelated teams.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 01/14/12 at 04:19 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 01/14/12 at 01:17 PM ET

Nice pussy.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 04:20 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Wow, what a first period!  Double-screen on the PP and Homer gets the deflection.  Bert with a breakaway goal after an unreal pass from Dangles.  James F. Tiberius Howard with a miracle save after failing to clear.  And no sphincter minute nonsense.

What I like the best is that our top line and our first power play unit scored.  The way our third and fourth lines are getting chances, the Wings should be able to wear the Hawks down - IF they keep bringing it like they did in the first 20 minutes.

Shots were something like 21-5 Detroit?!?  Whoo-hoo!

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/14/12 at 04:20 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

NBC between period lovefest for cindy and the pens ...didn’t see that coming…..

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/14/12 at 04:20 PM ET

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Bets on them talking about anything other than the Pens or Caps at first intermission next week.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/14/12 at 04:21 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

I love how that Rosby update came before a full on segment about one of the goalies playing in the game we’re watching. Shouldn’t that be something that is literally more relevant to the actual broadcast?

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 01/14/12 at 04:22 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

It’s official…

Edzo thinks the Red Wings have too many men.  It’s fast becoming his mantra.  That’ll happen when you follow a team full of whining punks.  Men don’t do that shit.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/14/12 at 04:24 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

I’m figuring out how to deal with these Nothing But Crosby/Chicago broadcasts:  I’ve got the TV on with the sound muted.  Got Ken and Paul going on the radio.  I watch the action on the TV.  When the Wings score, I watch the replays on TV and then (‘cuz the radio is a full minute behind the TV) listen to Ken and Paul describe the what happened.

No Dipsy Doc, No Douche Canoe, No Barf Bag Edzo, no Penguins updates. 

Life is good.

Keep it going, Wings!

LGRW !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/14/12 at 04:25 PM ET

Joe Z.'s avatar

NBC breaking news: crosby close to return, taking half a box up his butt during morning skate..

Posted by Joe Z. from Austria on 01/14/12 at 04:25 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Jimmah.  He summers in Maine.  I live close enough so I may stalk him this year.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 04:25 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

This pussy quite clearly is enjoying being licked

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 04:27 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Hey heck of 1st period by the hawks. I guess our little buddy Chaulker has left the building? That makes me sad cool smile

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/14/12 at 04:27 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 01/14/12 at 01:27 PM ET

I love girl-on-girl porn.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 04:28 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

So we’ve got 2 goals already, and its not even 8pm yet. I’m so confused.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 04:28 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

It’s 10:30pm here in the placid Arabian Sea bitches.  I’m off to bed.  I’ll say a prayer to Tiberius and the manger miracle 8 pounder that the game turns out well for all 19 of us.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/14/12 at 04:29 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

I see my decision to ignore the NBC Rosby intermission report was a good one.  Thanks for confirming that.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/14/12 at 04:29 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Here’s a hairless pussy…but the tattoo is AWESOME

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 04:29 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

It’s 10:30pm here in the placid Arabian Sea bitches.  I’m off to bed.  I’ll say a prayer to Tiberius and the manger miracle 8 pounder that the game turns out well for all 19 of us.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/14/12 at 01:29 PM ET

Night Chief.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 01/14/12 at 04:30 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

checking in….big dent in the rum reserves last night.  Drinking coffee and watching hockey is aboot all I’m good for.

Inside the glass = between the cheeks

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 01/14/12 at 04:30 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/14/12 at 01:29 PM ET

G’nite bitch.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/14/12 at 04:31 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Here’s a hairless pussy…but the tattoo is AWESOME

That is one smooth pussy.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 01/14/12 at 04:31 PM ET

Avatar

Just woke up and it looks like I’ve been missing a hell of a game - and against the team and fan base that I despise the most. Well fan base mostly, not that I’m super fond of Chi, but they are original six.

Anyways, I really hate these ‘early’ games, they just don’t jive with my schedule.

Posted by LGRWeh on 01/14/12 at 04:32 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com