Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Hey Gary: You’re Irrelevant

The Emperor's been all over it...all signs are pointing to optimism, if you want to call it that.  At the very least, things are looking up if you're looking forward to a full hockey season.  Negotiations are moving forward. Offers are on the table. Big (figuratively, Gary...figuratively) guys are exchanging views, instead of their lieutenants (or brothers). So, yeah, there's justifiable hope today.

Hockey fans are excited.

And nobody else gives a shit.

Nobody.

I've been watching Sportscenter all morning, because you can never get enough analysis pointing to the Yankees mystifying team slump that has absolutely nothing to do with the Tigers' starting pitching, and over the course of three shows: not a mention of the NHL. Not one.

CBS Sportsline, if you care to visit, has nothing on its "front page" and no mention of the NHL in it's list of "top headlines" until you get to the 11th story...just below a riveting ditty about John Calipari combing another juvenile detention system to land another blue chip recruit.

ESPN? Nothing. Literally not a mention of the NHL, hockey, labo(u)r strife, lockout, ice or iced tea anywhere until you go to the designated NHL private backroom where the struggling medical students dance for spare change.

Fox Sports? This is great, Gary.  This is your legacy, you turd.  On Fox Sports these are the stories they feel are important to their world-wide (not just American) audience...

  • Some guy named Hamlin ran into a wall in Kansas. Not sure if that was Harry, of television's LA Law, or if he was hurt, just that it's a fuchofalotmore important than you, Gary, and us, hockey fans.  Thanks. Gary. Ass.
  • Fox lists a number of sports unaffected by rain.  Not sure if they mention hockey because we all know only one thing stops our sport, Gary...incompetent commissioners, or commissioner, actually.  Strong work Gary. Ass.
  • Two stories on Lance Armstrong's shocking steroid usage, 3 stories on A-Rod (including the models he hit on, the billionaire who wants him FIRED, the benching he's suffering through and the trade to Miami that will never happen but is more important than you, Gary. Ass or us Fans.suckers).
  • And there's a story about some absurd amount of money Barry Bonds spent on a bike sturdy enough to withstand the weight of his huge 3-Mile Island head.

But nothing, and I mean nothing, about hockey.  Oh, and USA Today?  Nothing about hockey. No mention at all. They feel the Viking punter's advocacy for gay rights trumps you Gary. Ass.  Ricky Fowler's political leanings are more important than the NHL too.  Society's debates and politics on a sports page, but no NHL.

Gary Bettman's legacy, if he gives a shit...and why should he when the owners pay him 8 million per year, is this:  There are no "fringe" hockey fans. None. Nobody's sitting or riding the fence. Nobody watches when there's nothing else on. Nobody goes to a game to see what it's like, or to pass the time or on a date because it's a unique experience. Nobody.  You've got us, Gary. The never-leaves who will stay even though it disgusts us to the core that we allow ourselves to be abused.  We're still here, but nobody else is coming, Gary. Ass. Nobody.  And that's on you, dipshit.  That's all on you.

The media sets the agenda, Gary. They always have. Always will.  They're laughing at you, at our sport, and at us.  You're irrelevant and that's your legacy. 

What a joke.

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Comments

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Some guy named Hamlin ran into a wall in Kansas.

You know it’s bad when Kansas is more relevant than you are.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 10/18/12 at 01:00 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

As Chris Rock said about the NHL… “A game nobody watches shown on a network nobody gets”.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 10/18/12 at 01:33 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

I know that as a hockey fan I’m irrelevant to the MSM but this just kind of made me depressed.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 10/18/12 at 01:52 PM ET

SYF's avatar

New sunken lows of unpopularity.

oUTSTANDING wORK tHAR, Gary.Ass.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 10/18/12 at 02:10 PM ET

Triple Deke Tyler's avatar

“...you turd.”

That hit my funny bone in a really special way.

Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 10/18/12 at 02:12 PM ET

phillyd's avatar

And what are they supposed to report today? “NHL awaits reply from NHLPA”? Seriously, they covered it on Tuesday when the proposal was made but until something new comes out from the other side, what is there really to do? Remember, this is the 3rd lockout these organizations have covered in 12 months. The over-coverred the NFL one and probably had just the right amount for the NBA. The coverage of the NFL/referee lockout wasn’t that much once you got past initial reactions from the games on Monday and Tuesday. You’d maybe see a “no talks scheduled” article on a Thursday or Friday.

Posted by phillyd from Southern New Jersey on 10/18/12 at 03:03 PM ET

Avatar

Hockey’s always been a fringe, niche sport… especially compared to football, baseball and basketball.

Nobody outside of hockey fans care much that the NHL is gone, and no-one outside of hockey fans will care much when it returns.

This is true now, it was true last year, it was true 5, 10, 15, and 50 years ago and it will be true 1, 5, 10, 15 or 50 years into the future.

Bettman didn’t cause it, can’t stop it and won’t ever be able to improve it.

There are loads of things Bettman can be blamed for, that he needs to be blamed for, and that he should be fired over.  Changing the NHL from the 6th or 7th most popular sport to anything better isn’t one of them.

Posted by HockeyinHD on 10/18/12 at 03:51 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Hockey’s always been a fringe, niche sport… especially compared to football, baseball and basketball.

Remember this?

And remember how there was a lockout a couple of months after?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 10/18/12 at 04:02 PM ET

dougie's avatar

I bought another car. Getting a vanity plate that allows only 8 characters.
Would you go with

Douchebg, or Doushbag?

Posted by dougie on 10/18/12 at 07:01 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

WOOOO TIGERS!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/18/12 at 10:00 PM ET

MarkK's avatar

You know it’s bad when Kansas is more relevant than you are.

Carry on, my wayward son.

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 10/19/12 at 08:24 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

WOOOO TIGERS!

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 10/18/12 at 10:00 PM ET

This.

Right now, I don’t give a rat’s ass about NHL hockey.  Thanks, Gary.Ass.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 10/19/12 at 09:12 AM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

I absolutely loath baseball. 

That said. Go Tigers!  Hopefully they win the WS.  That way Illich can get his focus back on the Detroit sports team that really matters.

Cuppy. Cuppy. Cuppy.  If they ever play again that is.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 10/19/12 at 10:17 AM ET

Avatar

This league has never been run buy geniuses.  The Blackhawks were bkacked out on local TV for years, how smart was that?

The league ‘s owners are short sighted idiot’s that do everything they can to retard the game’s growth.

Blaming Bettman is silly.  If he goes the owners will just get another guy to do the same thing. 

There is a group of owners that think hockey will never be as popular as the other sports and want to squeeze every nickel they can out of the league as it stands.

They don’t want player’s to tell them how to run their league.  Conversely the players have to realize that the TV revenue in hockey is miniscule compared to the 3 other sports. 

It’s really pretty good that a lot of them make the salaries they do.

In order to move the sport up the scale both sides have to compromise and promote the game together. 

That is highly unlikely with short sighted skin flints like Jacobs pushing the NHLPA into hardline positions.

Until the league starts to believe in its own product we will have repeat after repeat of the current mess.

The fan base will remain static at best and they will still be fighting over the crumbs.

Posted by 13 user names on 10/19/12 at 04:59 PM ET

Avatar

Sorry typo “buy”  should be “by”

Posted by 13 user names on 10/19/12 at 05:02 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Hockey’s always been a fringe, niche sport… especially compared to football, baseball and basketball.

Remember this?

And remember how there was a lockout a couple of months after?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 10/18/12 at 04:02 PM ET

Hey, then what happened? Oh yeah, he came along.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/20/12 at 08:37 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Right now, I don’t give a rat’s ass about NHL hockey.  Thanks, Gary.Ass.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Homer’s Office on 10/19/12 at 09:12 AM ET

Seriously.

Many of us have gone from our yearly refrain of “is it October yet?” to “is it Wednesday yet?”

Go Tigers!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 10/22/12 at 05:11 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

At the end of their late version of Sportscenter, ESPN erroneously reported last night (in that kind of “oh yeah, by the way” sorta way that the talk about the NHL) that the lockout was settled.

Just another day at NHL Inc. where the sport becomes more and more of a punch line with every passing day.  Perhaps the commissioner can pull satan’s cock out of this throat at some point, and something positive will happen.  But then again, perhaps not.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 10/22/12 at 05:21 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

And the Giants are moving on to face the Tigers. I like me some Tigers…but in this case…sorry Gents (and ladies)...Go Giants.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 10/22/12 at 11:36 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

mrfluffy - you are hereby banned for life!

wink

GO TIGERS!  GO DETROIT!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 10/23/12 at 10:31 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

And the Giants are moving on to face the Tigers. I like me some Tigers…but in this case…sorry Gents (and ladies)...Go Giants.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 10/22/12 at 11:36 PM ET

BAN HAMMER for Mr. Fluffy

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/23/12 at 08:45 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Now you are irrevelant. with Gary the ass Fluff.

Go Tigs. win it for Mr I and my mother who at 86 can give you starting lineups from the 30’s, 40’s from memory. I bought her a Red Wing sweater that said class of 1926 which is the same year she was born.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 10/23/12 at 10:26 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Chief, I disagree.

Gary is relevant.  Under his watch, and with his participation, the NHL has had multiple work stoppages.

Gary is relevant for the fact - that right now, under his watch, and with his participation -  hockey is irrelevant.

The midget genius that turned a 3 billion a year business into irrelevancy.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/24/12 at 10:31 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

There’s alot of hate in here, man.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 10/25/12 at 11:05 AM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

I saw a headline that David Stern is retiring from NBA commish and I immediately thought about a certain little garden gnome that could slide right into the position and fuch up anther professional league.  To no avail.  The position’s been filled.  FUCH!

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 10/26/12 at 11:58 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Stern must be happy with his NBA legacy.

No contractions, lots of marketing, and he managed to crush the NHL.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 10/26/12 at 12:18 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com