Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Have You Heard The News About Uncle Joe And His Obscene Live Blogs?

There are no trends. Some would say, during the playoffs, that nothing real exists. We boiled the Easter Bunny on Sunday, a nifty addition to a growing list of domestic pets sacrificed in the name of our cause.

We've turned an innocent train, just a small, clean little choo choo, into a den of sin and drunken excess. We've done everything possible to assure an easy entrance into Hell just based purely on our conduct during the last ten playoffs, or so.

We've been juvenile, disgusting, despicable, redolent.

But that's because we're loyal and because our expectations are high, and because we are an immensely intelligent, handsome group of people with great scorn for pretty much everyone else.

Some of you consider tonite to be worthy of Lightfoot.  No. I say no.  Gordon Lightfoot is used in times of desperation.  This is not that time.  1-1 with three games left at Joe Louis is not that time.

Now...should the Wings lose in the same skinny-guy-in-prison fashion? If the power play continues to suck ass? If Datsyuk, Nyquist, FRANZEN, and pretty much everyone else remain ice cold? If Howard plays poorly? If, if, if....yes, then we may call on Lightfoot.

But not yet. Not...tonite ("Miracle" reference...just FYI).

No Alfredsson tonite and that's ok. He's been invisible. Andersson in because law states you can only substitute a Swede for a Swede not named Sameulsson.  You cannot replace a Swede with a Canadian(en) serial killer. Sorry Bert.

No Lightfoot tonite because I'm not nervous. Something tells me Game 2 may have triggered a realization in the Wings that only they can understand.

I am optimistic.

I'm not kidding.

This is a live blog, bitches.

15 to 12.

LGRW.

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Comments

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SYF's avatar

Wow.  Jimmy.  A save.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/22/14 at 08:42 PM ET

shanetx's avatar

Worst case scenario?  They dump him and he finally takes that as the proverbial wake up call.  Sometimes guys just won’t reach their potential in their first job but it sucks to get bitten by them when they do elsewhere later!

I realized there’s a worse worst case scenario:  You keep him, he never gets it and he’s the Kyle Quincey to next year’s rookie defenseman.

Posted by shanetx from Floydada, Texas on 04/22/14 at 08:42 PM ET

shanetx's avatar

Worst case scenario?  They dump him and he finally takes that as the proverbial wake up call.  Sometimes guys just won’t reach their potential in their first job but it sucks to get bitten by them when they do elsewhere later!

I realized there’s a worse worst case scenario:  You keep him, he never gets it and he’s the Kyle Quincey to next year’s rookie defenseman.

Posted by shanetx from Floydada, Texas on 04/22/14 at 08:42 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Yah see how to play the puck to the d Jimmah ? And he is a foreigner

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 04/22/14 at 08:42 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Hey, I just realized, it’s been awhile since we’ve drawn a bullshit penalty….

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/22/14 at 09:40 PM ET

Yaaay goal post!  Yaaay no bullshit penalties!

Still grasping at straws here.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 08:43 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

This is the same story from game 2, Detroit dominating possession and zone time late in the game, but with no results, not even generating many scoring chances

Posted by Hootinani on 04/22/14 at 08:43 PM ET

Primis's avatar

WTF does that have to do with a Smith and his non-significant contract hit.

Posted by MoreShoot on 04/22/14 at 09:33 PM ET

It’s called “two separate thoughts”.  That why there’s a new line started there.

Posted by Primis on 04/22/14 at 08:43 PM ET

Avatar

Still grasping at straws here.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 09:43 PM ET

Franzen made a good backcheck….yay

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/22/14 at 08:44 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

19:17 MTL PPG - Max Pacioretty (1) Wrist shot - ASST: NONE

MTL 4 / TBL 3

series to MTL 4-0

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/22/14 at 08:44 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Wow.  Jimmy.  A save.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/22/14 at 08:44 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

shit, that was some inter-fuching-ference there—I guess as long as it’s not subtle no one cares though.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 08:46 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Wow.  Jimmy.  A save.

Posted by SYF from Zata’s Epic Viking Beard on 04/22/14 at 09:44 PM ET

I’m sensing a trend in your comments.

Posted by calquake on 04/22/14 at 08:46 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

It’s called “two separate thoughts”.  That why there’s a new line started there.

Posted by Primis on 04/22/14 at 09:43 PM ET

what are you, some kinda pharmacist?

Posted by Hootinani on 04/22/14 at 08:46 PM ET

Avatar

Not that it matters since the PP sucks, but I guess the refs don’t want them to have too many in a row.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/22/14 at 08:47 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

No anticipation from anybody on this team the last 2 games. Lots of standing around waiting to see what happens.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/22/14 at 08:47 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

I’m sensing a trend in your comments.

Posted by calquake on 04/22/14 at 09:46 PM ET

I think he has the same love for Jimmy as I do for Legwand

Posted by Hootinani on 04/22/14 at 08:47 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Delay of game against the other Smitty.

Wings on the PP.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/22/14 at 08:47 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Speaking of Legwand, way to screw the pooch on a beautiful play

Posted by Hootinani on 04/22/14 at 08:49 PM ET

Avatar

Can   not     have     that     blocked.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/22/14 at 08:49 PM ET

SYF's avatar

I’m sensing a trend in your comments.

Posted by calquake on 04/22/14 at 09:46 PM ET

Sorry, cal.  Ever since that ridiculous giveaway in Game Two that led to an easy goal for the Bruins, I’ve completely lost faith in the guy.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/22/14 at 08:50 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

another 2 minutes successfully killed. At least that one looked a little dangerous.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/22/14 at 08:50 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

not a terrible PP, lots of movement, but ultimately ineffective

Posted by Hootinani on 04/22/14 at 08:50 PM ET

Alan's avatar

Another two minutes has passed us by, and that means another Power Pray has expired.

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 04/22/14 at 08:51 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

not a terrible PP, lots of movement, but ultimately ineffective

Still too much perimeter play, not much generated toward the net, but at least a decent (albeit not great) amount of zone time.  Jeeeze our standards for what constitutes a decent power play have gone into the shitter.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 08:53 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Sorry, cal.  Ever since that ridiculous giveaway in Game Two that led to an easy goal for the Bruins, I’ve completely lost faith in the guy.

Posted by SYF from Zata’s Epic Viking Beard on 04/22/14 at 09:50 PM ET

Easy to see where you are coming from.  Then again other than Tatar, Miller, Glendening and a few others there is not much to cheer about.

Posted by calquake on 04/22/14 at 08:54 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Im betting the Bettman script calls for a Boston PP anytime now

Posted by Hootinani on 04/22/14 at 08:54 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Love how the ref is yelling move it, but is unwilling to blow the play dead when the Boston player refuses

Posted by Hootinani on 04/22/14 at 08:56 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Heading out, 19.  Catch y’all on the flipside.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/22/14 at 08:57 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

//sigh//

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/22/14 at 09:03 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

really???

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/22/14 at 09:03 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Game plan for game 4—show up.

That is all.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 09:03 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Can’t win when you don’t fuching score.  Night all.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/22/14 at 09:04 PM ET

calquake's avatar

We can talk aboot how bad Jimmy has been and who is playing like sh*t but if you don’t score any fuching goals you lose… pretty simple really.

Posted by calquake on 04/22/14 at 09:04 PM ET

Alan's avatar

Well, that’s game.

See you 19 next game.

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 04/22/14 at 09:04 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Oh well. Everyone else will have written the Wings off.

What term am I searching for? Underdog. All the way Home.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/22/14 at 09:05 PM ET

Primis's avatar

If there is one play that sums up this whole game for the Wings, it’s Brendan Smith getting the puck at the right point, skating around the ENTIRE PERIMETER before finally making a decision to do something, and that decision is a half-assed pass that turns the puck over and leads to a Boston 3-on-1.

Posted by Primis on 04/22/14 at 09:06 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

it takes 4 to win the series.

we’re down 1 game to 2.

get the win Thursday, boyz.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/22/14 at 09:06 PM ET

Bill from GR's avatar

Early bad goaltending giving up soft goals just sucks the life and confidence out of every aspect of their game.

Right now, I’d settle for Jimmy stealing a period.

Posted by Bill from GR on 04/22/14 at 09:07 PM ET

Avatar

Anyone remember that Nashville series from a couple years ago that was just soul crushing in showing us how ineffective and impotent the Wings had become?

This team is better than that one. I can’t figure out why they look exactly the same.

Deep systemic issues that probably can’t be fixed in the middle of the playoffs…weird that they come out now, after they played well enough down the stretch.

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 04/22/14 at 09:09 PM ET

Primis's avatar

The most-frustrating part of this game is honestly that Boston did not play all that well, and still won 3-0.  Where the f**k do you go from there?

Posted by Primis on 04/22/14 at 09:15 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com