Abel to Yzerman

Abel to Yzerman

Have You Heard The News About Uncle Joe And His Obscene Live Blogs?

04/22/2014 at 5:52pm EDT

There are no trends. Some would say, during the playoffs, that nothing real exists. We boiled the Easter Bunny on Sunday, a nifty addition to a growing list of domestic pets sacrificed in the name of our cause.

We've turned an innocent train, just a small, clean little choo choo, into a den of sin and drunken excess. We've done everything possible to assure an easy entrance into Hell just based purely on our conduct during the last ten playoffs, or so.

We've been juvenile, disgusting, despicable, redolent.

But that's because we're loyal and because our expectations are high, and because we are an immensely intelligent, handsome group of people with great scorn for pretty much everyone else.

Some of you consider tonite to be worthy of Lightfoot. No. I say no. Gordon Lightfoot is used in times of desperation. This is not that time. 1-1 with three games left at Joe Louis is not that time.

Now...should the Wings lose in the same skinny-guy-in-prison fashion? If the power play continues to suck ass? If Datsyuk, Nyquist, FRANZEN, and pretty much everyone else remain ice cold? If Howard plays poorly? If, if, if....yes, then we may call on Lightfoot.

But not yet. Not...tonite ("Miracle" reference...just FYI).

No Alfredsson tonite and that's ok. He's been invisible. Andersson in because law states you can only substitute a Swede for a Swede not named Sameulsson. You cannot replace a Swede with a Canadian(en) serial killer. Sorry Bert.

No Lightfoot tonite because I'm not nervous. Something tells me Game 2 may have triggered a realization in the Wings that only they can understand.

I am optimistic.

I'm not kidding.

This is a live blog, bitches.

15 to 12.

LGRW.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that.

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