Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Give Me A Midget, A Stress Train, Some PBR and A Live Blog

I don't remember the last elimination game that really stressed me out. 

Actually, Gary? I can't remember the last elimination game I cared about.   And when I say "elimination game", I mean that in the positive, like one that if Baby Jesus' favorite team won, there would be joy in Hockeytown because that's a damn decree is what it is you midget peckerhead.

What decree? Joy in Hockeytown, I mean.  The last time the Wings were on the verge of a series victory was 2011 against Phoenix, but I don't remember stressing one bit that series.  No Gary, you felon, you stealer of fun, wrecker of my sport, no.  We even went 7 games the year before and that didn't stress me out because, shrew, we were playing one of your invented tropical fantasy teams.

Nope, I dig stress, Gary. The right kind. The traditional kind.  I dig the kind a Detroit fan has when we're on the verge of some serious cheddar, the night after our souls were crushed. I dig the kind of stress that comes with anticipating a game a whole lot of assholes think we'll lose.

Now, does that mean I don’t have confidence that the Wings will take the Cup tonite?  I do.  I actually believe they will, when I allow myself to think logically instead of emotionally.  But that is so rare.  It’s happened so little since 5.  I can’t stop thinking of Osgood’s skate and that little opening.  I’ve got one of the greatest hockey games ever played on my DVR right now, but I may never watch it.  Even if the Wings win, I don’t know that I can ever look at Game 5.

Well? Remember that? Remember that kind of stress? We're not there yet, as Tiger fans.  We're just not.  The expectations of the Tiger franchise are not nearly what we hold for the Wings.  So, crushing losses don't...they can't...bring the kind of pain we've seen with Detroit's Only Dynasty (post 1955).

It's been a while since Little Gary the Midget Street Clown and League Wrecker, the worst commissioner in the history of sport, let us stress the way we--Wing fans--are used to.  But, you get the feeling we may be headed there soon with these Tigers.  The signs are there. The pets are scared. The neighbors are hiding their flammables.

It's only the ALDS, not the LCS and certainly not the Series.  But the Lawn Dwarf with the painted rosey cheeks won't let me think about hockey right now so my stress needs an outlet and I'm a Tiger fan second, a Wing fan first but second is first now because of, well you know...Gary.ass.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this post. I truely have no idea.  No one but us knows what it’s like to be 34.7 seconds (and I frankly don’t give a shit if it was 34.3, it’s 34.7 to me so 34.7 it will stay) away only to lose it.

I’m gonna watch Game 6 and we’re gonna live blog that bitch.  Gordon Lightfoot’s making a return appearance and I think good things will happen.  I believe it could be an evening of fire trucks and puppies, sunshine and hookers.  All the good things in life.

But I’ll tell you this.  I’m not looking forward to it.  Not one bit.  I know I have to watch it and I will.  But it’s gonna suck right up until the end.

Unless the Wings blow them out.  Sweet Little Adorable Baby Jesus, please make it so.

You do remember that, right?  Tiger stress may not be Wing stress but it's getting pretty damn close.

It's a Live Blog bitches.  A Tigers-better-win-this-one and we're setting the stage four hours early LB.

Because a Tiger win would be great, especially since fucho won't let us have our hockey back.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

« Previous        < 1 2 3 4 5 >  Last ›      Next »

42jeff's avatar

wonnnnnderful

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 11:34 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

He keeps trying to make the batters go fishing when he gets up 0-2…then winds up running up his pitch count.
Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 10/10/12 at 11:33 PM ET

eggsactly. Back to the rain. Literally two drops on the road and my 35 minute commute goes to 90minutes

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 11:34 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

lol.  Sounds like snow when I was stationed in eastern New Mexico.  The town would literally shut down when the first snow flake hit the ground.

Hell here in ND you have to shovel out of your house to find out if the busses are running.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 11:36 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

WP moves coco to 3rd. Max doesn’t cover home right away and coc nearly comes home

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 11:37 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Drew tries to stretch a double into a triple out at 3rd but coco scores. 2-1

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 11:38 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Max gets the hook. I have fear. Here comes the bullpen.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 11:39 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

dernit

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 11:39 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Byebye Scherzer.  Pitched a hell ofa game.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 11:42 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Max looks shellshocked in the dugout

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 11:43 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Cesspool chases a baaaad pitch

K for Dotel

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 11:44 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

haha

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 11:45 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Dotel is missing. Avila puts the glove low and inside and Dotel puts up high and outside. Dotel walks Moss (.083 in the series) and gets the hook

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 11:47 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Good lord tell me it’s not Benoit

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 11:49 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Yikes! Coke is in and opponents are hitting .324! Can you say gas can?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 11:49 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Cardiac time. OMFG

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 11:50 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Phew.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 11:52 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

1, 2, 3. Too the stretch…

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 11:56 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Nice speed Perralta…goodness

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 11:57 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Albuquerque pitching. eek.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:01 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Liner to Infante 1 down

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:02 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

OH please no Benoit….I really didn’t need to see him warming up

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:03 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

That was the eek. Unlikely that Albuquerque goes three innings, which leaves…..

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:05 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Nice K Al Al

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:06 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Gotta love an uneventful 7th

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:09 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Doolittle do late?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:10 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Omar!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:12 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

3-1!!! Garcia PH single

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:14 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Sweet!

Did you see A-Rod got PH for tonight and the guy belted a homer to tie it up?

Good times.

 

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:16 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Score more foals

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:17 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Prince singles Garcia to third. 1st and 3rd w/ two outs…

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:18 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Dammit Miggy

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:18 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Doolittle gets pulled

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:19 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Oh good.  This guy has had the Tiger’s number this year.  Good to see them put some hits on him tonight.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:20 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Holy crap Reddick has a cannon.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:21 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Benoit starts the 8th big surprise

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:26 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

:holding….breath….:

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:27 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Coco flies out to center for out #2.

Breathe.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:29 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Come on Benoit….

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/11/12 at 12:29 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Drew singles to center still 2 out

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:30 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

3-1 count on Cesspool

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/11/12 at 12:33 AM ET

« Previous        < 1 2 3 4 5 >  Last ›      Next »

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Smileys

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Feed

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com