Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Give Me A Midget, A Stress Train, Some PBR and A Live Blog

I don't remember the last elimination game that really stressed me out. 

Actually, Gary? I can't remember the last elimination game I cared about.   And when I say "elimination game", I mean that in the positive, like one that if Baby Jesus' favorite team won, there would be joy in Hockeytown because that's a damn decree is what it is you midget peckerhead.

What decree? Joy in Hockeytown, I mean.  The last time the Wings were on the verge of a series victory was 2011 against Phoenix, but I don't remember stressing one bit that series.  No Gary, you felon, you stealer of fun, wrecker of my sport, no.  We even went 7 games the year before and that didn't stress me out because, shrew, we were playing one of your invented tropical fantasy teams.

Nope, I dig stress, Gary. The right kind. The traditional kind.  I dig the kind a Detroit fan has when we're on the verge of some serious cheddar, the night after our souls were crushed. I dig the kind of stress that comes with anticipating a game a whole lot of assholes think we'll lose.

Now, does that mean I don’t have confidence that the Wings will take the Cup tonite?  I do.  I actually believe they will, when I allow myself to think logically instead of emotionally.  But that is so rare.  It’s happened so little since 5.  I can’t stop thinking of Osgood’s skate and that little opening.  I’ve got one of the greatest hockey games ever played on my DVR right now, but I may never watch it.  Even if the Wings win, I don’t know that I can ever look at Game 5.

Well? Remember that? Remember that kind of stress? We're not there yet, as Tiger fans.  We're just not.  The expectations of the Tiger franchise are not nearly what we hold for the Wings.  So, crushing losses don't...they can't...bring the kind of pain we've seen with Detroit's Only Dynasty (post 1955).

It's been a while since Little Gary the Midget Street Clown and League Wrecker, the worst commissioner in the history of sport, let us stress the way we--Wing fans--are used to.  But, you get the feeling we may be headed there soon with these Tigers.  The signs are there. The pets are scared. The neighbors are hiding their flammables.

It's only the ALDS, not the LCS and certainly not the Series.  But the Lawn Dwarf with the painted rosey cheeks won't let me think about hockey right now so my stress needs an outlet and I'm a Tiger fan second, a Wing fan first but second is first now because of, well you know...Gary.ass.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this post. I truely have no idea.  No one but us knows what it’s like to be 34.7 seconds (and I frankly don’t give a shit if it was 34.3, it’s 34.7 to me so 34.7 it will stay) away only to lose it.

I’m gonna watch Game 6 and we’re gonna live blog that bitch.  Gordon Lightfoot’s making a return appearance and I think good things will happen.  I believe it could be an evening of fire trucks and puppies, sunshine and hookers.  All the good things in life.

But I’ll tell you this.  I’m not looking forward to it.  Not one bit.  I know I have to watch it and I will.  But it’s gonna suck right up until the end.

Unless the Wings blow them out.  Sweet Little Adorable Baby Jesus, please make it so.

You do remember that, right?  Tiger stress may not be Wing stress but it's getting pretty damn close.

It's a Live Blog bitches.  A Tigers-better-win-this-one and we're setting the stage four hours early LB.

Because a Tiger win would be great, especially since fucho won't let us have our hockey back.

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Comments

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42jeff's avatar

Watching Leyland’s interview, I keep picturing Babcock telling Pierre to basically shut up and leave me alone during that game last year.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:33 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Hooray for quick innings.  Let’s bring out the bats boys!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:34 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

PRINCELY!!!

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 09:36 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Okay I gotta know…what what what…. I’m watching a big bang theory commercial

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:37 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Verlander is FIRED UP

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 09:37 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar
Okay I gotta know…what what what…I’m watching a big bang theory commercial
Posted by 42jeff from Minot
North Dakota on 10/10/12 at 10:37 PM ET 

Patience, Grasshopper. It’s worth the wait

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 09:38 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Sweet!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:39 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Not getting that one Cocoa

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:39 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

That was followed by B2B singles. 1st and 2nd nobody out and Oakland just made a calll to the bullpen.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 09:40 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Damn 4-6-3 DP. 2 out man on 3rd

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 09:43 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

ugh…Tigers really need to increase their team speed

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:44 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Dirks with the leather!

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 09:48 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Dirks again, puts out cesspool this time.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 09:49 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Peralta with the put out. Don’t blink, Jeff, you’ll miss the inning

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 09:50 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Sweet.  I just burnt the hell out of a bag of popcorn.  lol


I have really started liking Dirks through the season.  Good hits.  Good speed.  Good glove.  Give him a limp and a long dark wig and you might think Mags came out of retirement.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:50 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

That’s awesome.  Go Max.  He’s cruising tonight.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:52 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

You know…even watching two separate LBs and a feed that’s about three or four minutes behind, it steal beats the hell out of

In play, run(s)

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:55 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Good grief Omar.  I think even Ericsson would have swung at that one.  Sucks to think he’s supposed to be an improvement over Raburn and Co.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:56 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I was reading BYB and I thought I saw your handle on a post or two.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 09:57 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I’m only stopping in once in a while…trying my best not to get too far ahead but it’s hard not to sometimes. 

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 09:58 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

KKKKKK

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 10:02 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Poor Reddick…is that like strikeout number 32 for the playoffs so far?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:05 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

KKKKKKK

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 10:05 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

lolz…can’t wait to see it…OH ... filthy

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:07 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Come on Max…strikes please.  Thanks, mkay

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:11 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Shit.. 0-2, two out single down RF line

1st and 3rd two out

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 10:12 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

haha From after Prince’s bomb

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:13 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I saw that live and that’s what made me type JV was fired up.

C’mon Max, quit trying to paint the outside corner!!!

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 10:15 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

FB inside for K number 8

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 10:16 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

When he misses though…it isn’t by much.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:16 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Holy cow…#annoyinglongatbat


OH!  anda K!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:18 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Well I guess this would count as an intermission? 

I can’t go to Sweden to keep in practice so I’ll have to do it here.


Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:19 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Miggy with the pop up that drops in. Coco miss read that BADLY

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 10:19 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Miggy with the pop up that drops in. Coco miss read that BADLY

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 10/10/12 at 11:19 PM ET

Nice!  I knew he wouldn’t let us down. 

Miggy just coming up to bat…shh…can’t wait to see what he does…

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:21 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Damn, DP. Raining in Oakland. that means my afternoon commute tomorrow might be soggy

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 10:23 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Crimeny another double play…..good grief

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:25 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

It was 37 and rain/snow/freezing rain here all day.  Supposed to hit 40 tomorrow and no rain for a change.  Woo!  Might head back out to the tree stand if I can get away from work early enough.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:28 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

C’mon Max, quit dicking around with that outside corner

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 10:31 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

He keeps trying to make the batters go fishing when he gets up 0-2…then winds up running up his pitch count.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/10/12 at 10:33 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Two rain drops and the local news goes into STORM TRACK 2012 frenzy and drivers panic.

Prince pulls a bit of a Buckner and Coco gets to 2nd

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/10/12 at 10:33 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com