Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Give Me A Midget, A Stress Train, Some PBR and A Live Blog

I don't remember the last elimination game that really stressed me out. 

Actually, Gary? I can't remember the last elimination game I cared about.   And when I say "elimination game", I mean that in the positive, like one that if Baby Jesus' favorite team won, there would be joy in Hockeytown because that's a damn decree is what it is you midget peckerhead.

What decree? Joy in Hockeytown, I mean.  The last time the Wings were on the verge of a series victory was 2011 against Phoenix, but I don't remember stressing one bit that series.  No Gary, you felon, you stealer of fun, wrecker of my sport, no.  We even went 7 games the year before and that didn't stress me out because, shrew, we were playing one of your invented tropical fantasy teams.

Nope, I dig stress, Gary. The right kind. The traditional kind.  I dig the kind a Detroit fan has when we're on the verge of some serious cheddar, the night after our souls were crushed. I dig the kind of stress that comes with anticipating a game a whole lot of assholes think we'll lose.

Now, does that mean I don’t have confidence that the Wings will take the Cup tonite?  I do.  I actually believe they will, when I allow myself to think logically instead of emotionally.  But that is so rare.  It’s happened so little since 5.  I can’t stop thinking of Osgood’s skate and that little opening.  I’ve got one of the greatest hockey games ever played on my DVR right now, but I may never watch it.  Even if the Wings win, I don’t know that I can ever look at Game 5.

Well? Remember that? Remember that kind of stress? We're not there yet, as Tiger fans.  We're just not.  The expectations of the Tiger franchise are not nearly what we hold for the Wings.  So, crushing losses don't...they can't...bring the kind of pain we've seen with Detroit's Only Dynasty (post 1955).

It's been a while since Little Gary the Midget Street Clown and League Wrecker, the worst commissioner in the history of sport, let us stress the way we--Wing fans--are used to.  But, you get the feeling we may be headed there soon with these Tigers.  The signs are there. The pets are scared. The neighbors are hiding their flammables.

It's only the ALDS, not the LCS and certainly not the Series.  But the Lawn Dwarf with the painted rosey cheeks won't let me think about hockey right now so my stress needs an outlet and I'm a Tiger fan second, a Wing fan first but second is first now because of, well you know...Gary.ass.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this post. I truely have no idea.  No one but us knows what it’s like to be 34.7 seconds (and I frankly don’t give a shit if it was 34.3, it’s 34.7 to me so 34.7 it will stay) away only to lose it.

I’m gonna watch Game 6 and we’re gonna live blog that bitch.  Gordon Lightfoot’s making a return appearance and I think good things will happen.  I believe it could be an evening of fire trucks and puppies, sunshine and hookers.  All the good things in life.

But I’ll tell you this.  I’m not looking forward to it.  Not one bit.  I know I have to watch it and I will.  But it’s gonna suck right up until the end.

Unless the Wings blow them out.  Sweet Little Adorable Baby Jesus, please make it so.

You do remember that, right?  Tiger stress may not be Wing stress but it's getting pretty damn close.

It's a Live Blog bitches.  A Tigers-better-win-this-one and we're setting the stage four hours early LB.

Because a Tiger win would be great, especially since fucho won't let us have our hockey back.

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Comments

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RWBill's avatar

I sure missed that in the national broadcast on TBS, which was so painful to listen to anyway.  I don’t know where these images came from, if FSD was on the field.  I wish I could get it to show motion like this on my FB page!

I repeat, this is one of the greatest and funniest things in Tiger history, well, during my life.  It has great significance too because if you were watching or streaming the Tiger audio broadcast the Oakland fans were booing vociferously, loudly, even, at the Tigers celebrating on their infield.  That’s what makes this so funny.

STFU!!  STFU !!  What a stud.  He couldn’t wait to get the ball back to make the next pitch.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/13/12 at 09:59 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Who is that?  It looks like “New Christine”.
I think we can post anything on Chief’s blog can’t we?  Especially during Bettman’s no fly zone.

Even though I love to watch movies in theaters I rarely go, but there were a couple of movies released yesterday that I’d like to see.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/13/12 at 10:04 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Atlas Shrugged has to be one of my favoritest books of all times..next to the Bible…which is quite an interesting contrast now that I think of it.

I am pretty stoked to see part II but I’m going to have to wait a while because the theater here in Minot won’t be carrying it.  Dammit.

Part I was pretty good and they actually did a fairly respectable job following the book.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/13/12 at 10:09 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

I repeat, this is one of the greatest and funniest things in Tiger history, well, during my life.  It has great significance too because if you were watching or streaming the Tiger audio broadcast the Oakland fans were booing vociferously, loudly, even, at the Tigers celebrating on their infield.  That’s what makes this so funny.

STFU!!  STFU !!  What a stud.  He couldn’t wait to get the ball back to make the next pitch.

Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 10/13/12 at 10:59 AM ET

I don’t remember that in the broadcast that night either.  I was stuck with a glitchy feed that was about three minutes behind live and was bouncing back and forth between BYB and here.  Dennis was telling me about how JV was pretty pumped up though I guess he’d seen it on whatever channel he was watching it on.

JV is an absolute beast.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/13/12 at 10:12 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Come on Tigers!  Don’t waste that Jackson triple!!!!

NO FREAKIN SQUANDRING!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/13/12 at 08:37 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

2-0 Top of the Eighth


Breeeeeeaaaaathtthhhhhhh

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/13/12 at 09:35 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Oh, dog. Val-fuching-Verde…

And a leadoff single

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/13/12 at 10:23 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

2 run blast PULL HIM!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/13/12 at 10:24 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

And a walk bringing tie run to the plate PULL HIM LEYLAND

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/13/12 at 10:34 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Tie fuching game. If valverde ever makes another appearance, Leyland should be fired on the spot.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/13/12 at 10:35 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Seriously, fuch you Valverde.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/13/12 at 10:39 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Super huge choker. Valverde BLOWS! Fuch you valverde. *#$%@&! Every curse I can think of. What in the hell is he doing in a Tigers uniform?

Go Tigers!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/13/12 at 10:43 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

The entire Tigers Team should beat the living shit outta Valverde.

Go Tigers!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/13/12 at 10:45 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Girardi benches a rod but fuching leyland sticks with fuching valverde. Fuch them both. Dump them both.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/13/12 at 11:25 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I hope Leyland finally gets that Valverde cannot be trusted anymore

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/14/12 at 12:00 AM ET

Primis's avatar

I’d like to sum up tonight’s TBS ALCS broadcast for everyone:

“YankeesyankeesyankessJeterYankeesYankeesA-RodYankeesYankessTigerYankeesYankeesJeterYankeesCabreraYankeesYankeesYankeesYaaaaannnkkeeeeeeeeeeeesYankeesValverdeYankeesYankeesYankeesYankeesTigersOMGJETERISHURTYankeesJeterYankeesJeterJeterYankees…”

Posted by Primis on 10/14/12 at 12:02 AM ET

Primis's avatar

Smyly needs to run towards the crowd screaming “STFU!!!” to make this night complete.

Posted by Primis on 10/14/12 at 12:03 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Oh yea! I toughed it out. A great comeback!

Go Tigers!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/14/12 at 12:04 AM ET

Primis's avatar

Jeter’s out for 3 months.

A-Rod thinks Jeter is lucky.

Posted by Primis on 10/14/12 at 12:17 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Primis you missed something from your recap…

“IbanezCabrearaandFielderareslowValverdenotthatgoodandtakesalongtimetopitch”

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/14/12 at 12:20 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Everything was announced from a yankees perspective tonight, but should we be surprised?  It’s like watching a pens game on nbc.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/14/12 at 12:26 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

If Leyland puts Valverde in another game, he needs to be taken away in a straight jacket.

GO TIGERS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 10/14/12 at 08:34 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Jhonny Peralta. The new “Yankee Clipper.”  wink

Go Tigers!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/14/12 at 08:56 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Everything was announced from a yankees perspective tonight, but should we be surprised?  It’s like watching a pens game on nbc.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/14/12 at 01:26 AM ET

Indeed, albeit I missed the first couple of minutes of the broadcast, by design so I wouldn’t have to suffer through pre game crap commentary, did they EVER mention that Detroit had to fly two straight nights cross country, Thursday all night from Oakland, then Friday night late from Detroit to New York? 

I didn’t hear it, but didn’t expect to.  I did hear them explain away how tough the Yankees schedule has been, having to stay at home 5 consecutive games and all.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/14/12 at 09:38 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Smyly needs to run towards the crowd screaming “STFU!!!” to make this night complete.

Posted by Primis on 10/14/12 at 01:03 AM ET

Hands down, your best post ever.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/14/12 at 09:39 AM ET

Primis's avatar

I really wish everyone involved with the NFL and ESPN would explode into flames.

The Tigers beat the YANKEES in the Bronx in an epic 12-inning game in the ALCS…. and by morning a few hours later ESPN’s top story is an NFL Week 6 preview and the game (with the result still only hours old) is relegated to a secondary headline.

F*** the NFL and everything about them.  I’m so sick of the f***ing NFL and everything associated with it.  The NFL represents everything that is wrong with thew US sports landscape.

Posted by Primis on 10/14/12 at 10:18 AM ET

Primis's avatar

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/no-show—yankees-try-to-disguise-empty-seats-at-alcs-by-moving-fans.html

That wasn’t your imagination:  Empty seats in New York for the ALCS.  Oh those great Yankee fans…

Posted by Primis on 10/14/12 at 12:30 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 10/14/12 at 10:38 AM ET

I think I did hear them mention it, but it was between them talking about what the yankees stratagies should be and how Pettitte was angry about not getting a strike call that “he knew was a strike.”  But no mention on Fister getting squeezed all night.  Seriously, check out the blessyouboys recap from last night, they have a picture of the pitch that was call “Ball 1” on Jeter.  Right down the middle.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/14/12 at 12:54 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Possibly best non-Detroit sports picture ever, unless I can find the one from the camera behind his head at this moment.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/14/12 at 01:52 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

This one is pretty cool.  Suit is pressurized?  Open the hatch and see what’s outside.  Holy Shit, balls of stainless steel.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/14/12 at 01:57 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

When he opened his hatch and stepped out on the frame, the pressure was 0.04 psi.  Part way down when he started to hit some atmosphere he began spinning and I thought he was going to buy it, but he straightened out and got into his flying posture.  First data indicates he hit over 700 mph at 40 seconds in.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/14/12 at 02:04 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

GO TIGERS!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 10/14/12 at 02:17 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Goooo Tigers   2-0 top of the eight.


Holding….breath….

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/14/12 at 05:39 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Only 3 run lead, tension.  Need 6 outs!

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/14/12 at 05:52 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Boy can those Venezuelans hit to the opposite field!

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/14/12 at 05:53 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Tigers, clutch!  Been able to take care of other teams miscues in the postseason while finally playing very solid defense, heck, great defense, game changing defensive plays.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/14/12 at 07:26 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

The TBS commentators and umpire were atrocious.  But for some reason, it makes the win just that much sweeter.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/14/12 at 07:54 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

From TSN….

SANCHEZ, MISSED CALL BY UMP HELPS TIGERS BEAT YANKEES

The missed call was irrelevant. The score was 1-0 Tigers when the missed call went down. The Tigers WON because the Yankees scored-0.

I hate the biased media!

Go Tigers!!!!!

 

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/14/12 at 08:10 PM ET

Primis's avatar

http://espn.go.com/mlb/playoffs/2012/story/_/id/8506169/new-york-yankees-need-stop-complaining

“Complaining about an umpire’s blown call when you don’t score any runs is weak”

Ummmmmm, the Yankees won’t be getting any sympathy from Jim Caple.  It’s… harsh and unexpected to see on a site like ESPN.com.  He lays into them pretty well..

Posted by Primis on 10/14/12 at 10:25 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Kate, exactly right. 

GO TIGERS!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 10/15/12 at 08:34 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com