Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Every One Of You Needs To Skip This Live Blog, Because The “Streak” Ends Tonite

Don’t get all sad on me now.  It had to end some time.  You didn’t really expect the Wings to win every remaining home game on their schedule, did you?  That’s just crazy talk.  And there isn’t a single redolent one of you who doesn’t know precisely what I’m talking about.  This thing ends tonite.

Kulfan

The Blue Jackets are the worst team in the league with their 13-28-5 (31 points) record…They have the worst goal differential in the league (minus-41), allowing 152 goals while scoring 110. …The lone bright spot, as usual, is RW Rick Nash (16 goals, 16 assists).

Go on Rick.  Scoring when it matters the least.  Attababy.

So count it. Nash will be a monster and will register more shots shorthanded than the Wings will on the power play.

Steve Mason will be incredible and we’ll remember the days we wished he was our baby boy instead of Tiberius.  We’ll chuckle at that, though, because there isn’t a goalie in hockey I’d trade for F’ing Howard now or ever, ever.

The Wings will outshoot the BJs by a factor of 3-1 and will still lose by two goals.

Someone will explain to me the whole pencil joke from the other night and I still won’t understand it.

The Wings will lose this game because “trap” doesn’t even define it.  It’s a pit of quicksand mixed with baby shit, Ten High whiskey, vomitus and baby oil sweated off Gary Bettman’s back. 

So yes, we’ll live blog it.  And we’ll be bitches while we do.  It’s just important that reality rule the evening.  Because there is no chance in holy hell we’re winning this thing.

There.  That do the trick?

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Comments

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dougie's avatar

I put an ad for an automotive technician for my shop on Craigslist, requesting resume, credentials, etc. Here was one of my responses. Cracked me up.

“I need to put a resume on my computer, but I’m just too damn tired tonight, and I have to work 12 hours tomorrow. I work at a Firestone store and made $45k last year.

I’m 42. White guy. I have a dog. I own a house. Please call me at 919-***-****. I can start Monday.”

Posted by dougie on 01/21/12 at 10:47 PM ET

monkey's avatar

2-2 against the worst team in the league. Yup, right where we knew this game would be at this time.

No, we thought we would be down by two.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/21/12 at 10:48 PM ET

monkey's avatar

“I need to put a resume on my computer, but I’m just too damn tired tonight, and I have to work 12 hours tomorrow. I work at a Firestone store and made $45k last year.

I’m 42. White guy. I have a dog. I own a house. Please call me at 919-***-****. I can start Monday.”

That reminds me-  I need to stop taking my car to Firestone.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/21/12 at 10:49 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I’m 42. White guy. I have a dog. I own a house. Please call me at 919-***-****. I can start Monday.”

Posted by dougie on 01/21/12 at 08:47 PM ET

So did you hire him?  Something about that guy I like.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/21/12 at 10:49 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

No, we thought we would be down by two.

Posted by monkey from the morel high ground on 01/21/12 at 08:48 PM ET

We’ve got twenty minutes to reach that lofty plateau. Hold tight.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/21/12 at 10:50 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Third period.  BOHICA.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/21/12 at 10:51 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Pimp talking up some gal he nailed in the lockerroom during intermission.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/21/12 at 10:51 PM ET

dougie's avatar

So did you hire him?  Something about that guy I like.

Well, if he is gonna start Monday, I probably better call him before the shootout.

Posted by dougie on 01/21/12 at 10:52 PM ET

monkey's avatar

We’ve got twenty minutes to reach that lofty plateau. Hold tight.

Twenty sphincter minutes.  Joy to the World.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/21/12 at 10:52 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

lids n happy telling jokes on the bench


... nice

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/21/12 at 10:52 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Is the Stress Train supposed to be this full in January in the third period against the worst team in the league?

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/21/12 at 10:53 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Columbus has a 14 year old goalie?

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/21/12 at 10:53 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Posted by dougie on 01/21/12 at 08:47 PM ET

What’s not to like?

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 01/21/12 at 10:53 PM ET

HockeyFanOhio's avatar

Flip needs a goal.

Posted by HockeyFanOhio from Central Ohio on 01/21/12 at 10:54 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Is the Stress Train supposed to be this full in January in the third period against the worst team in the league?

Posted by RWBill from Jerry Sandusky’s defense team. on 01/21/12 at 08:53 PM ET

Preseason.

Posted by calquake on 01/21/12 at 10:54 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

3 drunks tried to get a LGRW chant going. No joy.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/21/12 at 10:54 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Just tell me Sanford has a son.  Please.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/21/12 at 10:55 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

  I’ll have me some Earl Grey and a strumpet please.

Posted by monkey

you’ll have the Turpentine, codeine, and NyQuil cocktail, like the rest of us and like it.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/21/12 at 10:55 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Four BJs in Sandford’s mouth.  I mean, crease.

I mean, mouth of the crease.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/21/12 at 10:55 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Homer - - channeling his William Tell

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/21/12 at 10:55 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Strumpets?  We has strumpets?  Damn I love this place.

VooX!  Two please.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 01/21/12 at 10:55 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Just tell me Sanford has a son.  Please.

Posted by monkey from the morel high ground on 01/21/12 at 08:55 PM ET

He does… but he’s a big dummy.

Posted by calquake on 01/21/12 at 10:55 PM ET

monkey's avatar

you’ll have the Turpentine, codeine, and NyQuil cocktail, like the rest of us and like it.

Dude, the Q is talking to me…  I need the strumpet to make sure I don’t drown in the toilet later.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/21/12 at 10:56 PM ET

SYF's avatar

And the Wings continue to let their d-men take the shot from the points on a 3-on-2 rush.

Balls.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/21/12 at 10:57 PM ET

monkey's avatar

DRIVE THE **** NET YOU **** LAZY ****

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/21/12 at 10:58 PM ET

SYF's avatar

I don’t know what The 19 are watching but I swear I’m seeing the Wings play the Wild; they’re just wearing a different uniform.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/21/12 at 10:58 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Methot misses an empty net,

Jimmy stones Nash

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/21/12 at 10:59 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

OMG Great move Jimmy

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/21/12 at 10:59 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Am I watching the Griffins?  Naw… they wouldn’t be this disinterested.

Posted by calquake on 01/21/12 at 11:00 PM ET

SYF's avatar

brb, 19.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/21/12 at 11:00 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

nine o’clock on a saturday

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/21/12 at 11:00 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

yikes

nash missed the open net

phew

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/21/12 at 11:00 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Just tell me Sanford has a son.  Please.

Posted by monkey from the morel high ground on 01/21/12 at 08:55 PM ET

Just tell Sanford’s first name is Fred.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/21/12 at 11:00 PM ET

monkey's avatar

brb, 19.

You fiend.  You’ll go blind!

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 01/21/12 at 11:01 PM ET

calquake's avatar

  Just tell me Sanford has a son.  Please.

  Posted by monkey from the morel high ground on 01/21/12 at 08:55 PM ET

Just tell Sanford’s first name is Fred.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/21/12 at 09:00 PM ET

And that he’s got a friend named Grady.

Posted by calquake on 01/21/12 at 11:01 PM ET

VooX's avatar

My girlfriend just walked by chanting, “You don’t make friends with salad” over and over.  A bit earlier she see’s Filpulla’s headshot in a stat screen and commented “he looks like a pedophile” instantly.

I love that woman.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 01/21/12 at 11:02 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

mick and ken with the Billy Joel lyrics ... wow

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/21/12 at 11:02 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

<========= praying for a chance at a shootout vs the worst team in the league

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/21/12 at 11:02 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

They really really really need to get a new person selecting the music at Joe Louis. Billy Joel?? no wonder the team is sleepwalking through this game

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/21/12 at 11:02 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

And that he’s got a friend named Grady.

Posted by calquake on 01/21/12 at 09:01 PM ET

And a sister-in-law named Ester, married to a drunk named Woodrow.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/21/12 at 11:02 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com