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Abel to Yzerman

Enjoy Your Stress-Free Sunday

Here. Start with this….

@TSNBobMcKenzie

NJD GM Lou Lamoriello was in TOR last night to meet with Zach Parise, who will decide within the hour if he is going to UFA at noon ET.

More in a minute, but nothing earth shattering.  So, don’t get all excited.

I’m only talking to people I trust today, people who won’t tell me bad things and lies just to watch me react in a way that makes them laugh, like I do at Blues fans when they’re sad. 

So, I’ll be checking here and most likely dying slowly with 19 of you. And I’ll be doing that (checking in and also dying slowly because I suck so very bad) from the golf course.

Key phrase today: Signing bonus.  Unlimited, obscene, absolutely impossible to turn down signing bonuses. Two of them.  In the gazillions.  Do it Mike. 

Key phrases that would me me frigging lose it, and I mean absolutely lose it today:

“We like our core and didn’t need to do as much as we first thought.”
—No you don’t and no you didn’t back in February, March, whenever, when you said you were going to be aggressive on 1 July.  Liar.

“Too rich. Too steep. Too much. Too high.”
—Too. Fuching. Bad.  If I hear those words, somebody needs to just go home.  Is Mike Ilitch going to say them?  No? Then spend, bitch. Spend it all.  Yeah, Kenny, that’s you and I’m sorry for calling you a bitch.

“Cory Emmerton”
—If Ken Holland uses those two words, like that, in that order, without the words “trade” or “traded” within four words of the “Cory Emmerton” combination, then I’m going to just vomit on the spot.  Don’t ever, and I mean EVER, try and convince me this kid is a reason we didn’t deal for Parise, Semin, Nash or Gerard Gallant.

“We’ll keep kicking tires”
—I hate that phrase anyway, “kicking tires.”  If we hear that today it means we’ve been shut out and bent over.  Don’t even talk to the media if you don’t come back with some real cheese Kenny. I don’t want the 30 slice packs. I want a block of really good cheddar. And if you can’t score it? Well, you just stay silent because I don’t want to hear the bullshit.

I want to hear two things today. One from Holland and one from Ilitch. Ready?

“This is the day we’ve been planning for since last July. For a year this is exactly how we envisioned it.  Zach and Ryan were the two guys we’ve been targeting, scouting, petting and giving secret money to via off shore accounts and go-betweens who may or may not be connected to Greek crime syndicates. We’re happy today.”

And…

“Cuppy. Cuppy. Cuppy.”

Oh, and anyone who doesn’t believe Brodeur’s in Chicago by 1700 raise your hand. No? Nobody? I didn’t think so.  He’s a Hawk already, I’m betting.

I’m off to the golf course. Please, baby Jesus. Please, please, please bring me what I want today.

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Comments

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dougie's avatar

Gustavsson. The guy who was supposed to be in net for Toronto for a decade? Their goalie of the future, 2 short years ago?

Too soon for a goalie controversy?

Posted by dougie on 07/01/12 at 01:43 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

OK so down to about $16M available, if Abdelkader and Q are signed later.

Posted by RWBill from the Babcock school of cheese grabbing. on 07/01/12 at 01:45 PM ET

Avatar

Wings sign Gustavsson (sp) to a 2 year deal.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Land of Ice and Snow on 07/01/12 at 12:39 PM ET

Wait. What? Are already on plan B, C or D?  What’d I miss?

Posted by cementslinger from Midland MI on 07/01/12 at 01:46 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Too soon for a goalie controversy?

Isn’t signing this guy controversial?

Posted by monkey from Prague on 07/01/12 at 01:50 PM ET

Kate from AZ-made in Detroit's avatar

great signing

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 07/01/12 at 12:54 PM E

Yes it is.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!! In ’13

Posted by Kate from AZ-made in Detroit on 07/01/12 at 02:02 PM ET

Primis's avatar

I’m OK with Gustavsson as a backup.  I like Joey Mac, but his back scares me…

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:03 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Capgeek updated Red Wings with Gustavsson.
http://www.capgeek.com/charts.php?Team=15

Posted by RWBill from the Babcock school of cheese grabbing. on 07/01/12 at 02:06 PM ET

Gabriel's avatar

Does anyone else see this, or is it just me?

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 07/01/12 at 02:09 PM ET

Avatar

Carkner to Dives

Posted by LGRWeh on 07/01/12 at 02:10 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Still relatively early on this coast.  Ah the smell of bacon!  Bacon was number three on my wish list this morning.  A backup goalie was number four.  We’re gradually working our way up the chain.  I totally see a trend here.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 07/01/12 at 02:11 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Does anyone else see this, or is it just me?

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 07/01/12 at 01:09 PM ET

I bet the one on the left is way less creepy.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 07/01/12 at 02:15 PM ET

Primis's avatar

How is the Brunner singing not already announced?  Are we supposed to read something into that?

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:18 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

“This smells just like my cousin’s vagina.”

2012-04-14_01-09-29_436-1.jpg

I don’t think Suter would have a hard time leaving Nashville.

Posted by RWBill from the Babcock school of cheese grabbing. on 07/01/12 at 02:18 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Happy Canada Day bitches!

Parise?  Suter? Bah…..anybody wonder where Jordan Tootoo will end up?  Plan B baby….Plan B. wink

Let’s Go Red Wings!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, fanning the flames, with rum..... on 07/01/12 at 02:20 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Parise?  Suter? Bah…..anybody wonder where Jordan Tootoo will end up?  Plan B baby….Plan B.

No and no.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 07/01/12 at 02:22 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Gustavsson, “when Detroit called, there wasn’t too much to think about”

Posted by RWBill from the Babcock school of cheese grabbing. on 07/01/12 at 02:25 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Pierre LeBrun ‏@Real_ESPNLeBrun
Told Red Wings no longer going to Newport offices…. not sure what to read into that….
Retweeted by George Malik

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:32 PM ET

Primis's avatar

DET allegedly had a 3:30pm appointment to meet with Parise.  If they’re no longer going, it probably means a decision has already been made IMO, and that it’s likely not one in DET’s favor.

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:34 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Gustavsson, “when Detroit called, there wasn’t too much to think about”

Posted by RWBill from hiding indoors from Virginia heat. on 07/01/12 at 01:25 PM ET

Boom, Bitches.

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 01:32 PM ET

*#$%@& me, Bitches.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 07/01/12 at 02:35 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

what, now detroit not going to parise?  2 hours ago they were enroute, and 10 minutes ago they were at the airport.

Posted by RWBill from the Babcock school of cheese grabbing. on 07/01/12 at 02:35 PM ET

Kate from AZ-made in Detroit's avatar

No and no.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 07/01/12 at 01:22 PM ET

You got that right. I just do not see him wearing Red Wing. Ever.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!! In ’13

Posted by Kate from AZ-made in Detroit on 07/01/12 at 02:38 PM ET

Primis's avatar

George Malik ‏@georgemalik
TSN says no Detroit contingent to Toronto. AP says Detroit contingent to Toronto. Freep says no contingent. MLive says Yes. ?????????

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:38 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

No and no.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 07/01/12 at 01:22 PM ET

You got that right. I just do not see him wearing Red Wing. Ever.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!! In ’13

oh never, tootoo is really dumb, albeit energetic in a misguided way.

Posted by RWBill from the Babcock school of cheese grabbing. on 07/01/12 at 02:39 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Latendresse signs in OTT .  I’d wondered about him for the Wings…

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:42 PM ET

Primis's avatar

HOLY CRAP, Ray Whitney to DAL for 2 years, $4.5m/yr…

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:45 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

omg, ray whitney at $4.5M per year for 2 years until he’s 42.  geezuzchristmas.

Posted by RWBill from the Babcock school of cheese grabbing. on 07/01/12 at 02:45 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Ray Whitney has been terribly underrated his entire career.

Posted by monkey from Prague on 07/01/12 at 02:46 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Ray Whitney has been terribly underrated his entire career.

Posted by monkey from lighting my nuts on fire on 07/01/12 at 01:46 PM ET

I’ve always felt he was OK, but actually had value inflated by always playing on terrible teams (CBS, PHX, etc).

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:48 PM ET

jennyquarx's avatar

He had great numbers last year.  I like him.  But that’s a lot of money.  Hudler’s going to cash in.

Posted by jennyquarx on 07/01/12 at 02:49 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Bob Duff ‏@asktheduffer
#redwings confirm that they have presented offer to Zach Parise.
Retweeted by George Malik

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:49 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Brunner’s signing official.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 07/01/12 at 02:51 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Annnddd, there’s the Brunner signing confirmation.

If DET did already present to Parise, they did so remotely and early.  Someone confirmed like 1/2 hr. ago that Holland was still at JLA, and it’s only 1:50pm, not yet the 3:30pm appt. time.

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:51 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Ray Whitney has been terribly underrated his entire career.

and now, he is terribly over paid….

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, fanning the flames, with rum..... on 07/01/12 at 02:51 PM ET

monkey's avatar

and now, he is terribly over paid….

It all works out in the end.

Posted by monkey from Prague on 07/01/12 at 02:52 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Ansar Khan ‏@AnsarKhanMLive
Jiri Hudler is talking to Phoenix.
Retweeted by George Malik

Please let him sign in the Eastern Conference, not the Western…

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:53 PM ET

YYZerman's avatar

Annnddd, there’s the Brunner signing confirmation.

If DET did already present to Parise, they did so remotely and early.  Someone confirmed like 1/2 hr. ago that Holland was still at JLA, and it’s only 1:50pm, not yet the 3:30pm appt. time.

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 01:51 PM ET


Someone on TSN said they aren’t even meeting anymore.

Posted by YYZerman from Detroit, Michigan on 07/01/12 at 02:53 PM ET

Avatar

Khan says Hudler talking with Phoenix…I think Doan may be gone.

Posted by godblender on 07/01/12 at 02:54 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

I’m sorry but that Whitney deal is frigging ludicrous.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 07/01/12 at 02:55 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Another sign the Free Press sports section is run by idiots:

http://www.freep.com/article/20120701/SPORTS05/120630024/15-year-flashback-Will-Scotty-Bowman-return-to-Red-Wings-as-coach-GM-both-

What is the purpose of posting this today, of all days?  I understand it’s 15 years to the day they ran the original article, but today?  Really?  There isn’t plenty of new news to report?

Posted by monkey from Prague on 07/01/12 at 02:55 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Ansar Khan ‏@AnsarKhanMLive
Wings’ contingent were ready to fly to Toronto but told Don Meehan canceled all face to face meetings because more than 20 teams inquired
Retweeted by George Malik

KHAAAAAANN with the explanation.  Makes sense.  It’s not just DET that isn’t going then..

Posted by Primis on 07/01/12 at 02:57 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com