Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Eastward Bound Via Bullet Bob

It all comes back to Seger, back to Bullet Bob. Because it must. It's been decreed for 8 years.  Seger will guide us we'll follow him blindly.

We're going to see some old friends because Seger told us it's good for our soul. We've headed East because he said that a change would do us good.

On to the East because it makes sense. And it should have happened a decade ago back when our shrew commissioner told us it would. But he lied because that's what shrews do.  He lied like my babysitter did when I was six. That skank. I told her that all I wanted was to watch the damn Jerry Lewis Movie Marathon on Channel 25 in Saginaw at 4pm and she said she'd come get me when it was on but every time I asked what time it was she'd say "about that time" and I'd go back into my room and I missed the whole damn thing because her fat ass wanted to watch soaps. 

Well? It's about that time.

Jimmy D and Mr. I and Tick Tock? They're too smart to let it out, but I'll say it: we were promised the East but the East didn't come because Bettman was too busy riding the backs of the Winged Wheel to inflate the bullshit teams in places like Nashville, Phoenix, and Columbus. He was too busy helping hockey-dumb owners in Anaheim, LA, San Jose rake in the cash by doubling prices every time the Wings and our transplants hit town.

Well, see ya. And Good Frigging Riddance.  Because we're eastbound where we belonged years ago.
And as we leave? You can kiss our asses in Denver. Pucker up with your two bogus Cups, your idiotically retired sweaters, your spritzers and your oh-it's-so-tough-to-sleep beat writers. Suck it.  Take your statue of liberty and your 7-0 ass kicking in a game seven, take your Lemieuxs and your "footers" your Floppas, your endless youth movements, your carousel of coaches and your 6 fans..and shove them up your mile high Quebec stealing asses.

As we leave? You scumbags in St. Louis can suck it too.  Your "fuch Detroits"? Ha. Fuch you. Again. Every time. Every playoff series. Every Cup we've raised? Suck it. Take your Pall Malls and hand them to your sister/cousins.  We owned your asses for twenty years and you have nothing to show for it but bitterness and bile.  See ya.

Screw the West. Bring on the East.

Bring us your Rosbys, your fake captains with the "Made in Gary's Fantasy" tramp stamps. Bring us your Charas and watch him chase Datsyuk like a pregnant moose.  Bring us your badass "physical play" and watch your golden Swede defector pot PP goal after goal.

It's on now.  On to the East where we should have been if not for a midget with an agenda.

It's a Live Blog, bitches.  With an Eastern slant like it should have been years ago.

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Comments

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dougie's avatar

Was bummed to see Elmore Leonard die this year too.

Yup, many of us here are big Raylan Givens fans.

Posted by dougie on 10/02/13 at 09:09 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

He’s eeyoreing. Eeyore doesn’t want to be poked, even Tiger doesn’t fuch with him. Let him be to continue eeyoreing under his dark cloud smile

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 09:10 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

That’s BS

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 10/02/13 at 10:09 PM ET

I see what you did there

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 09:11 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

DC with a subtle, “he knows his place…” to Ott

Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 09:11 PM ET

Bent's avatar

so they did implement hybrid icing?

Yes they did, PA approved it a few days ago.  Still doesn’t make a ton of sense to me,

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 09:11 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Yup, many of us here are big Raylan Givens fans.

Posted by dougie on 10/02/13 at 10:09 PM ET

absolutely

Posted by Hootinani on 10/02/13 at 09:12 PM ET

Avatar

What was that?  A puck slid off Cleary’s stick when no one touched him?  There never happens.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 09:12 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar


Of the maybe 5 legitimate 5-on-5 scoring chances the Sabres have had tonight, Brendan Smith has been directly responsible for pretty much all of them.
Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 10/02/13 at 10:08 PM ET

That’s BS

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 10/02/13 at 10:09 PM ET

Hey, I don’t deal in facts.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 10/02/13 at 09:12 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

That’s BS
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 10/02/13 at 10:09 PM ET
I see what you did there
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 10:11 PM ET

Apparently you’re the only one. You complete me.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 09:14 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

I saw that you saw something he did there and then because you saw I saw what he did there. Intentional or not that gorgous. First actual mistake it’ll be “fuching BS”

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 09:15 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Red+October+drink+recipe

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 10/02/13 at 09:59 PM ET

Thank you!

I had one hand on the mouse, and the other holding a frosty beverage, so you saved me some effort.

(See my post earlier in the thread regarding getting people to do things for you on then Internet.)

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 09:15 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

DET asleep at the wheel

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 09:16 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Howard… quietly… ever so quietly…

Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 09:16 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Wow Buckets is fast. Oh wait. Nevermind

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 09:17 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

You know who’s been really good tonight? Johnny Ericsson, Esq.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 10/02/13 at 09:18 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Howard… quietly… ever so quietly…
Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 10:16 PM ET

Whore mouth shuteth, please.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 09:18 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Apparently you’re the only one. You complete me.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 10/02/13 at 10:14 PM ET

ah, shucks

red face

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 09:18 PM ET

Avatar

Lazy play all period catches finally catches up

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 09:19 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Didn’t see that coming

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 09:19 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Howard… quietly… ever so quietly…
Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 10:16 PM ET

mad

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 09:19 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

mistake by jimmy

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 09:19 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

For my fellow book nerds out there…

Tom Clancy died today :(

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 10/02/13 at 09:56 PM ET

One of my favorite writers. “No Remorse” was one of my favorites. R.I.P. Jack Ryan and John Clark.(John Kelly)

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 09:19 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Motherfuch godddam it all

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 09:19 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

really howard thats when you decide to stack the pads…

Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 09:19 PM ET

Bent's avatar

That was sloppy.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 09:19 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

Wow. That’s entirely in Jimmy. Tough luck.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 10/02/13 at 09:19 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Aww Jimmy. Either the D needed to be more vocal there or Jimmy needed to clean his ears.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 10/02/13 at 09:19 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Jimmah should get an assist on that one.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 09:20 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Somebody opened a whore mouth huh. . .

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 09:20 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

Yep. This game will go to OT. Had the chance to cut throats. Didn’t take it.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 10/02/13 at 09:21 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Somebody opened a whore mouth huh. . .

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 10:20 PM ET

Whore-style. Pages ago.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 09:22 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Good job picking the wrong way to go with that pass Jimmy.  Pick the harder path.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 10/02/13 at 09:23 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Sammy coaching Weiss on his shooting?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 09:25 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Good chance there.  Gotta bury some of these.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 09:26 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Whats up bitches?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 10/02/13 at 09:26 PM ET

Avatar

So why is Kindl with Kronwall?  Did I miss something?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 09:26 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Sammy coaching Weiss on his shooting?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 10/02/13 at

Sammy: “Repulse the monkey… part the wild horse’s mane.”

Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 09:27 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Thats a big call.  Way to keep the feet moving Gator.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 10/02/13 at 09:27 PM ET

Avatar

So why is Kindl with Kronwall?  Did I miss something?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 10:26 PM ET

Or maybe I’m just blind and mistaking DeKeyser’s 65

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 09:28 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Time for this whiskey dick to get an erection

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 09:28 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com