Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Eastward Bound Via Bullet Bob

It all comes back to Seger, back to Bullet Bob. Because it must. It's been decreed for 8 years.  Seger will guide us we'll follow him blindly.

We're going to see some old friends because Seger told us it's good for our soul. We've headed East because he said that a change would do us good.

On to the East because it makes sense. And it should have happened a decade ago back when our shrew commissioner told us it would. But he lied because that's what shrews do.  He lied like my babysitter did when I was six. That skank. I told her that all I wanted was to watch the damn Jerry Lewis Movie Marathon on Channel 25 in Saginaw at 4pm and she said she'd come get me when it was on but every time I asked what time it was she'd say "about that time" and I'd go back into my room and I missed the whole damn thing because her fat ass wanted to watch soaps. 

Well? It's about that time.

Jimmy D and Mr. I and Tick Tock? They're too smart to let it out, but I'll say it: we were promised the East but the East didn't come because Bettman was too busy riding the backs of the Winged Wheel to inflate the bullshit teams in places like Nashville, Phoenix, and Columbus. He was too busy helping hockey-dumb owners in Anaheim, LA, San Jose rake in the cash by doubling prices every time the Wings and our transplants hit town.

Well, see ya. And Good Frigging Riddance.  Because we're eastbound where we belonged years ago.
And as we leave? You can kiss our asses in Denver. Pucker up with your two bogus Cups, your idiotically retired sweaters, your spritzers and your oh-it's-so-tough-to-sleep beat writers. Suck it.  Take your statue of liberty and your 7-0 ass kicking in a game seven, take your Lemieuxs and your "footers" your Floppas, your endless youth movements, your carousel of coaches and your 6 fans..and shove them up your mile high Quebec stealing asses.

As we leave? You scumbags in St. Louis can suck it too.  Your "fuch Detroits"? Ha. Fuch you. Again. Every time. Every playoff series. Every Cup we've raised? Suck it. Take your Pall Malls and hand them to your sister/cousins.  We owned your asses for twenty years and you have nothing to show for it but bitterness and bile.  See ya.

Screw the West. Bring on the East.

Bring us your Rosbys, your fake captains with the "Made in Gary's Fantasy" tramp stamps. Bring us your Charas and watch him chase Datsyuk like a pregnant moose.  Bring us your badass "physical play" and watch your golden Swede defector pot PP goal after goal.

It's on now.  On to the East where we should have been if not for a midget with an agenda.

It's a Live Blog, bitches.  With an Eastern slant like it should have been years ago.

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Comments

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RedMenace's avatar

Commercials these days make me enjoy the “The game will resume after the commercial break” messages on GameCenter Live.

And I freaking work in television. Ugh.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 08:09 PM ET

Gary A$$ SUCK !!'s avatar

Hockey Hockey Is back…Let’s Go Red Wings !!

Posted by Gary A$$ SUCK !! from Fort Myers, Florida on 10/02/13 at 08:10 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

To Gramps.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 08:10 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

one of my best chops.  It’s a little early in the season for that prick though.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where free agents no longer want to go. on 10/02/13 at 08:07 PM ET


(wasn’t sure but thought you were the ‘doer of da deed’, WFIBL ... nice work!)

BUT, you is right: put him away and ...

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 08:10 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Commercials these days make me enjoy the “The game will resume after the commercial break” messages on GameCenter Live.

I know.  Who on God’s green earth are they signing up for these focus groups?  The same hobos Bud uses to filter Platinum?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 10/02/13 at 08:11 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Time to crack a Red Hook Pumpkin Porter.

Did they do something with the lights at the Joe?

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 10/02/13 at 08:11 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Maybe Eddie Blow will not be quite as anti-Wings this year since they’re not in the same division/conference as his beloved Black Cocks.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 08:12 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Ott?  Ugh.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 08:12 PM ET

Jennemy of the Skate's avatar

Did they do something with the lights at the Joe?

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where free agents no longer want to go. on 10/02/13 at 08:11 PM ET

It does look pretty dark. I thought it was just my tv.

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 10/02/13 at 08:13 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

OMG i had forggotten all about Ott…

Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 08:13 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

3 line with some chances smile

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 08:13 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Sorry I’ve got to bow out early Bitches but I’m stuck going to another stupid meeting.  At least I’m the president now… so there’s that.  Later.

Posted by calquake on 10/02/13 at 08:14 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Sadly, I actually like Steve Ott… would LOVE to have him in the Winged Wheel.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 08:14 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

This announcing crew is insufferable.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 10/02/13 at 08:14 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Posted by calquake on 10/02/13 at 08:14 PM ET

Later Cal, hurry back.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 08:14 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Sammy, shoot the farking puck

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 08:14 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Ahoy bitches!

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 10/02/13 at 08:15 PM ET

Bent's avatar

WTF? On Z?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 08:15 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

.... -_-

So Myers comes at Z, all elbows and assholes, Z protects himself, and gets called for the penalty.

Yep, still the NHL.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 08:16 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Dirty Swede.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 10/02/13 at 08:16 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Z- elbow to the head, Myers- has a stick a few feet away from his face. Penalty red wings. Obviously

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 08:16 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 07:58 PM ET

Congratulations Bent! A son is a son till he takes a wife, but a daughter’s a daughter all of her life.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 08:16 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

BUF, 29 on the PP

Don’t worry, the DET PK will make them all better

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 08:16 PM ET

Avatar

WTF? On Z?

2 minutes for illegally avoided opponents elbow

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 08:16 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Three minutes in and Edzo has not mentioned the Wings ability to run interference every shift and not get called for it. The season is off to a good start

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 10/02/13 at 08:16 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

My A$$!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 08:17 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Goddammit, Erriccssonn…

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 08:17 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Holy fuch

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 08:17 PM ET

Bent's avatar

What the hell is going on?  A 5 on 3 already.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 08:17 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Awesome, bigg E with the hand closure

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 10/02/13 at 08:17 PM ET

Avatar

5 on 3 less than 5 minutes into the season….call me shocked.  rolleyes

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 08:17 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Got here just in time to see the refs in fine form already tonight

Posted by Hootinani on 10/02/13 at 08:17 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Me likey our Serial Killer.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 08:18 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Jimmah!!!

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 08:19 PM ET

Bent's avatar

JIMMAH!

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 08:19 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Jimmah!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 08:19 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

JIMMY!

Posted by Hootinani on 10/02/13 at 08:19 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

James’ jock in tip-top shape so far.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 08:19 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Nice stuff, Yak.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 08:20 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Excellent!!!

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 08:20 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com