Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Digging Monday

Aloha bitches.  This post will evolve over the next little bit, but I wanted to give you this ditty to start with.  Khan(!)'s got himself a scoop and, in typical Digger fashion, attributes it to no one but his immense knowledge of the organ-I-zation.

Ever since Nicklas Lidstrom announced his retirement on May 31, it was fairly obvious would who replace him as Detroit Red Wings captain.Now that the NHL lockout has ended, the Red Wings soon will announce that Henrik Zetterberg will be their next captain.

Read more here, but it's a quickie.  Straightforward and not shocking.  More to follow. Lots of stuff out there we need to discuss.  As you might have guessed, I've decided to just march happily on and pretend it's like September or something.

Helene St. James has a pipeline straight to some flat-out domestic frivolity.  Allegedly she's meal planning for the Kronwalls, DVR'ing kids programs for the Clearys, helping Tick Tock pick out his ties and going all Mrs. Doubtfire for the entire franchise.  

"I'm thrilled for the fans, excited for our game and everybody involved that we're back on the ice," Wings general manager Ken Holland said Sunday. He awoke around 5:30 a.m., just as news broke of the accord.

Defenseman Niklas Kronwall woke up around the same time and said the first thing he did after finding out the news on his iPhone app was to tell his girlfriend. Forward Daniel Cleary yelled out the news to his wife and daughters and was greeted by "screaming and jumping up and down," he said.

Awesome.  Hockey's back. Wings are ready, boy.  And I'll be damned if we don't need to know just how Nik Kronwall woke up.  There's an app for that, bitches.  Helene says so.

Helene also provides a riveting review of Gary's three work stoppages, his legacy. And then there's some fun chit chat from Kronwall in there, calling it a "fair deal" for everyone.  Except for, you know...um, yeah.  I'm happy.  Hockey's back.  Rainbows baby. Puppies.

Oh and the Wings, our Wings, are opening up at...

...11-to-1 to win their fifth Stanley Cup since 1997.

That is tied for the sixth-best odds in the NHL. The Pittsburgh Penguins lead the way with 6-to-1 odds to win it all.

The New York Rangers and Vancouver Canucks are next with 8-to-1 odds, followed by the Boston Bruins at 9-to-1 and the Los Angeles Kings, the defending Stanley Cup champions, at 10-to-1.

The Red Wings are tied at 11-to-1 with the division-rival Chicago Blackhawks and St. Louis Blues.

The whole division, essentially, is favored to win the Cup...along with Pittsburgh, with Thid's odds to regain "his Cup" mandated in the new CBA.

Teddy Kulfan has clearly had this lead written for months.  I mean, he probably had some early rough drafts, crumpled them, re-wrote, crafted, ruminated, stressed, typed and drank a little.  Because this? This is the shit.

The Red Wings haven't had an actual game since losing Game 5 of the first round of the playoffs in Nashville on April 20.

Ok. The interns are still researching to verify that.  I'm tempted to just blindly agree but you know how particular we are about facts (and have been for 8 years...happy belated anniversary to us all).

Kulfan provides a recap of the roster we'll live with (11-1 odds, don't forget) and finds a way to work 732 Lidstrom references into 7 paragraphs about the blue line.

Jonathan Ericsson: With no Nicklas Lidstrom, Ericsson is one of the young defensemen needed to take on a bigger role.

Niklas Kronwall: With Lidstrom retiring, Kronwall becomes the Red Wings’ No. 1 defenseman.

Ian White: The latest of a long line of Red Wings defensemen who thrived when paired with Lidstrom.

Sidney Crosby: Now that Lidstrom is gone, Crosby becomes the best defenseman in the NHL (mandated by the new CBA). 

Ok. I wrote that last one.  Sorry.

Teddy tackles the whole team, boy.  The entire team just like a real beat writer.  Here...look.

Damien Brunner: The undrafted free agent has excelled in Switzerland with his goal scoring. The Wings love his hands and maybe he developed chemistry with Zetterberg while playing him during the lockout.

Yes. Maybe. Teddy also flatly states that Homer won't be back.  No attribution. Just fact.  I agree but, you know, journalism...it's a bitch.

The last time we gave Drew Sharp any real attention he responded with this little ditty.

Bill—With all due discretion, I really don’t care what fans or bloggers think. Fans have an emotional connection to a team. I don’t. That’s why I can look at a situation more objectively.

'Member?  Well, he might not "care" what we think but he sure doesn't have any problem telling us precisely what he thinks we should think.

But there should be a symbolic gesture from the fans that although they’ll forgive, they can’t forget the recklessness of those entrusted with building as well as protecting the sport.

When the NHL returns, every fan should stand up in their seats and turn their backs away from the action for the first couple minutes of the first game back.

Do what they did to you.

Turn your backs on them.

He's just keeping it real.  I mean, come on, that's a solution right there.  That's, what...viable.  JFC.  Be pissed. Whine a bit.  Don't watch if you don't want to.  But spare me the drama, princess.  That's just dumb.

Ok then.  Welcome back hockey. Welcome back, 19.  Welcome back joy and puppies, a few hookers and some cheap, warm PBR to wash it all down.  Look elsewhere for numbers related to the new CBA. I don't care about them.  

The road to 12 starts, finally....now.

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Comments

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dougie's avatar

Outstanding, 19. Second day after the lockout ends, and we have already kicked Franzen to the curb.  What say we save the inevitable goalie controversy for tomorrow?

I can only hope the Wings hit mid-season form as fast as the 19 did.

Posted by dougie on 01/07/13 at 04:06 PM ET

Avatar

Welcome back, A@Y and everyone.  It has been so long I had forgotten what a great read this is…

Not a fan protest, but here’s the protest I want to see: 

Bettman walks onto the ice to hand out the Cup, to the usual drowning chorus of boos.  He says his usual spiel congratulating the team and then his usual “[insert name here], come get your Cup!” 

And nobody comes forward.

Posted by BobTheZee on 01/07/13 at 04:43 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Posted by BobTheZee on 01/07/13 at 03:43 PM ET

I like where you’re head’s at, but I kind of don’t like a situation where that buckhumper is left standing there with the cup. I’d almost rather the captain of the winning team skate up and take it from him before he gets a chance to say a word.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/07/13 at 05:32 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

The evil four letter list the Wings defense as:

Kronwall
Kindl
E-52
Cocacola (injured, as HTOverhaul noted)
Quincy
Smith
White
Lashoff (Who???)

There’s going to be a lot of animal sacrifices, fuching jobu, rocking in the fetal position and wishing the season had been cancelled around here in the next four months. I fear #12 is a long way off.

I just pray Jimmah doesn’t see so much rubber that he bails during free agency for less money with a team that actually can play some D in front of him.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 01/07/13 at 05:42 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I’d almost rather the captain of the winning team skate up and take it from him before he gets a chance to say a word.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/07/13 at 04:32 PM ET

THAT would be awesome.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 01/07/13 at 05:45 PM ET

Hippy Dave's avatar

I’ve been holding this PBR for nearly 9 months, and let me tell you, it tastes…. redolently delicious.

Posted by Hippy Dave from Portland by way of Detroit on 01/07/13 at 05:55 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Here’s how I feel now that a semblance of order has been restored, and the most inane lockout in sports history is done:

I missed the NHL, but not as much as I feared this past September. There were times each June, when the NHL was done, that I wondered if I was spending too much time paying attention to the league in general, and the Wings specifically. By late-July each year, I was ready for more hockey.

But the lockout showed me I would be just fine if the NHL fell off the face of the earth. Sure, I missed it at times; but I came to realize I don’t NEED NHL hockey, I just really enjoy it, no more, no less.

So that’s the silver lining around The Cloud.

And, how nice it was today to read articles about possible free agent signings, or possible line combos on different teams. What a nice change of pace from “HRR”, “make whole”, and all the other buzzword crap hurled our way the last 100-plus days.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/07/13 at 06:04 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

All aboard the Too-Too Train. Bitches.

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/07/13 at 11:37 AM ET

No, no, say you didn’t just do that

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/07/13 at 06:12 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I’d almost rather the captain of the winning team skate up and take it from him before he gets a chance to say a word.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/07/13 at 04:32 PM ET

Possibly your best contribution ever!

And to the previous question, no, Eaves still has not been cleared.  His father had to retire from hockey at age 30 due to concussions.

I always thought he could hit 20 goals if on the top 2 lines.  He hit 15 anyway picking up table scraps.  Great wrist shot.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/07/13 at 06:18 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

Man the 19 are busy already!

I had completely forgotten about Tootoo until one of my friends mentioned it yesterday.

I am sorry to hear the news about Eaves, he’s a great person and a fun player to watch. 

It will be a strange season for sure but at least there is one.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 01/07/13 at 06:56 PM ET

Colquhoun's avatar

Spotted Franzen at the Y getting pool game-ready - floating

Posted by Colquhoun on 01/07/13 at 07:04 PM ET

Colquhoun's avatar

Effed that up.  Danged English.

Posted by Colquhoun on 01/07/13 at 07:07 PM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

  o who are the Wings gonna buy out of their contracts? How many did they settle on in the new CBA, one or two?

  Posted by dougie on 01/07/13 at 12:59 PM ET

Two.

My preference would be Franzen as their first buyout. And then Franzen again as their second buyout, just to make sure.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 01/07/13 at 01:08 PM ET

LOL    That’s   my preference too

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michigan hometown of Abdelkader on 01/07/13 at 07:19 PM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

Look for Franzen to come back with a vengeance and high motivation!  You’ll be disappointed, but go ahead and look for it.

Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 01/07/13 at 02:26 PM ET

LOL  LOL    LOL

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michigan hometown of Abdelkader on 01/07/13 at 07:21 PM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

Spotted Franzen at the Y pool getting game-ready - floating

Posted by Colquhoun on 01/07/13 at 06:04 PM ET

LOL  fixed it for ya,  and thanks for the laughs everyone wink

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michigan hometown of Abdelkader on 01/07/13 at 07:26 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

No, no, say you didn’t just do that

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/07/13 at 05:12 PM ET

Actually, last Summer,  I said that when Too-Too was signed, after the initial bitching. As long as he is wearing the Winged Wheel, I will support him as a Red Wing.

Same as Bert.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/07/13 at 07:28 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

feel like a junkie who has just been told the meth supply has just arrived in town.

lgrw! 12 in ‘13

now drop the puck already eh?

game on.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/07/13 at 07:30 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

As expected, ESPN says Z is going to be wearing the “C.”

http://espn.go.com/nhl/story/_/id/8822099/detroit-red-wings-name-henrik-zetterberg-new-captain-source-says

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/07/13 at 08:27 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Fuching Ericsson.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 01/07/13 at 09:28 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Welcome back to all of the 19 from a long winter’s nap thanks to Gary the Ass.

Hope you all had a happy and safe holliday season.

Wish Pavs was being named the captain instead of Z. I just think he shows more passion and leadership by example.

Looking foward to the LB when the games begin.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 01/07/13 at 09:43 PM ET

Avatar

My preference would be Franzen as their first buyout. And then Franzen again as their second buyout, just to make sure.

Sure, we all regret the stupid contract, but in our heart of hearts I think we all know what happens if Detroit buys out Franzen.  He signs with Chicago or Columbus or Nashville and kills the Wings 6 times a year for the next half dozen years or so.

I’d rather be frustrated that he’s only scoring 30 goals a year for us than that he’s scoring 10 a year against us.

Posted by Garth on 01/07/13 at 10:09 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

It really is good to see all you beautiful bitches again. And for those whom know, Thank GOD KB/Whoolio/Fuching Idiot doesn’t know about this. That man/woman/child/it truly is a fuching moron.

Bettman deserves the cup to be snatch from him. Don’t you ever… EVER fuching touch it again.

As for Tootoo. I’ve actually always liked him. Not playing against the Wings of course. The dude irritated the hell out of people.. and always seem to get a goal. Now it’s their turn. wink

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 01/07/13 at 10:12 PM ET

monkey's avatar

As you might have guessed, I’ve decided to just march happily on and pretend it’s like September or something.

Can’t wait for the Winter Classic.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/08/13 at 08:51 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 01/07/13 at 04:42 PM ET

E-52 wont be the only object of scorn on the blueline - Its going to be a long season for a such a short schedule.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/08/13 at 01:39 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Well, because I’m a kind hearted bumpkin from Shiawassee County, I’m wiping the slate clean for Franzen.  And all players.

Now, keep your heads up and your asses down, it’s Go Time.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/08/13 at 02:12 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

E-52 wont be the only object of scorn on the blueline - Its going to be a long season for a such a short schedule.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/08/13 at 12:39 PM ET

Ain’t that the truth. I bet by game 12 we’ll be wishing the lockout was still going.

Wish Pavs was being named the captain instead of Z. I just think he shows more passion and leadership by example.
Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 01/07/13 at 08:43 PM ET

Glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I thought it also might give him a little added incentive to stay in the NHL after his contract is up.

CalQuake gave me a couple of cigars that you gave him to give to the Chief, but I haven’t seen the Chief in a while. IF the Wings make the playoffs, hopefully we’ll do another A2Y get together and I can pass them along then.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 01/08/13 at 03:06 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Get your arse home, Pavel.

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 01/08/13 at 06:38 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

For sure:

“He’s just a good dude, great guy and great teammate,’’ Bertuzzi said. “If you can hand out one compliment, he was an outstanding teammate. He never complained. Played probably the hardest 1,000 games ever played.

“He left with four Stanley Cups and was able to walk out of the rink.’‘

 

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/08/13 at 07:52 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/08/13 at 06:52 PM ET

Yes, I noticed that “able to walk out of the rink”—on his own power—should not be overlooked.  His knees and the whacking his back took probably give him pain every day.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/08/13 at 08:43 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Homer. (sniff, sniff)

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/08/13 at 09:32 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Poor Homer is going to need a new spine and legs for all the composite hacks that have made his present bones mere kindling..  He will be dearly missed and all of the Mick’s comments about his play also.

Good to know Cap’n . One of these days we will have to get another A to Y get together of all my fake friends.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 01/08/13 at 09:51 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com