Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Did You Wake Last Night To The Sound of Thunder, Blues Fans? Don’t Fret. Our Serial Killer’s Out

This made me weepy.

I tried, people, I really tried to be a REAL hockey fan. Briefly. If it ain’t the Wings, I just dont give a shit.

 

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 03:12 PM ET

That pretty much sums it up.  Hockey's been on all day, allegedly. They raised their 8th seeded banner in LA before the heavily-favored-to-repeat Kings got smoked by the third-best team in the Central.  They renewed hostilities in Pennsylvania and I'll bet Rosby's been touched exactly once...by Gary Bettman, most likely.

And I tried to watch. Honestly. I wanted to be a good citizen.  But in the end?

I couldn't because--like Dougie--I just don't give a shit about the NHL, about hockey, about the purity of our sport and our precious league. 

Nope. All I really care about is Detroyet is playing hockey again.  The Blues will raise their Central Division yellow sticky in some corporately sponsored arena tonite and the Wings will watch and chortle.  They've been through these before...many, many times.  Division winners.  That's...nice.

The Wings are back, and they're back tonite.  Other hockey happens, I guess. And that's ok.  But it's all static.  It's all boring.  To us, and to millions.  You either love our Wings because baby Jesus decreed it, or you hate them because Detroit's owned your team for decades and months and days. 

St. Louis is a favorite, boy. And the Wings? Oh woe is us.  Like Jenny said earlier, everyone's all sad-face when they talk about us.  "This is the year, sigh..."  Ok.  Bookmark that shit.  Bookmark the naysayers.  

Say it again. St. Louis is a favorite.  That is awesome.  The little kids who could, who tried, who found so much regular season glory last year only to see a standard end to a normal Blues season, Cup-free again.

So raise that banner tonite, little Bitter ones. Raise the division crown high, high, high.  Bellow at it and shake your fists, Blues fans.  What an achievement.

Bullet Bob says not to worry because nothing's more fun to slap around than the Awkward Teenage Blues.  Take them out past the cornfield where the woods got heavy and give them the back of your hand.  Because division titles don't mean jack shit, Sally.  

Big brother's in town. Again.  It's a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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Avatar

I’m glad this game isn’t close.  It’s kept me from having a fit over what a piss poor job the refs are doing.  Having no preseason is showing for them too.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/19/13 at 11:34 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Dammit I missed you bitches

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 01/19/13 at 10:34 PM ET

Despite the score, it is good to be back.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:34 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

A big brawl in the Griffins game 13 players ejected 5 were Griffins and a total of 192 penalty minutes.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 01/19/13 at 10:34 PM ET

I just got a text from my brother who is at the game…to quote:

“HOLY SHIT DUDE BIG ASS FIGHT BIG ASS FIGHT WOOOO”

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 11:35 PM ET

tkfergy's avatar

Fournier, Mrazek, Pare, Tatar, Lashoff all got ejected from the griffins game

Posted by tkfergy on 01/19/13 at 11:35 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

sick

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/19/13 at 11:35 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Poor Gus.

Welcome to the Red Wings circa 2013

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 11:35 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Gus has given up zero goals. Goalie controversy.

Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 01/19/13 at 10:33 PM ET

See what you gone done?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:35 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Wow.  Just…

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 01/19/13 at 11:35 PM ET

monkey's avatar

St Louis is gilding the lily

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/19/13 at 11:35 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Gus has given up zero goals. Goalie controversy.

Posted by monkey

oops.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/19/13 at 11:36 PM ET

RWBill's avatar


Blues haven’t scored since Monster has been in goal.  I think we’re on to something.

Shut. Whore. Mouth.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/19/13 at 10:34 PM ET

That was just too easy a call.  Deflection right in front.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/19/13 at 11:36 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

West Wing have you heard any reaction to the Sam Adams IPA?

They make what I would call a good default beer.  There are lots more interesting IPAs out there, but a lot of the really great ones can be kinda hard to find so it kinda falls into the “it’ll do in a pinch” category for me.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 11:36 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

ha ha..

GR box score

http://theahl.com/stats/game-summary.php?game_id=1010453

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 11:36 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Blues haven’t scored since Monster has been in goal.  I think we’re on to something.

Shut. Whore. Mouth.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/19/13 at 10:34 PM ET

Too late.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 11:37 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

3-0 would have been a bad night.  Maybe, *fingers crossed* 6-0, will be a wake up call.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:37 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Ok…hands up for who all thinks this will get the Wings’ attention and they’ll come out firing on all cylinders for the next game….

 

:crickets:

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 11:38 PM ET

dougie's avatar

I’m going out and find my neighbors cat, and piss all over it.

The LB was the only thing thing good aboot this fuching game.

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 11:38 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Luckily, St Louis only averaging two goals per period.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/19/13 at 11:38 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Fuch everything.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 01/19/13 at 11:38 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Haha Franzen starts shit and then skates away.  So what are we tearing pages out of the Rosby play book now?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:39 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Oh look Jackman being a cocksucker

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 11:39 PM ET

Stevis's avatar

“Very few tickets left” for the home opener.  Check stubhub though there should be plenty now.

Posted by Stevis on 01/19/13 at 11:39 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

If this is the way they are gonna play I praise Jeebus for the lockout…..my liver would not have survived a full season.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 01/19/13 at 11:40 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

8-5 in the grifs game

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 11:40 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

On a positive note, surely we will be leading the league in PIMs after Night One.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/19/13 at 11:41 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I’m going out and find my neighbors cat, and piss all over it.

Ha, a golden shower for pussy.  Kinda sums up the game don’t it?

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 11:41 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Luckily, St Louis only averaging two goals per period.

Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 01/19/13 at 10:38 PM ET


Guddammit you always find the best perspective you cynical bastard.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/19/13 at 11:41 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Lets go lose! Lets go lose!

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/19/13 at 11:42 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

No pride on this team.  A 6-0 rout and not even one good shift.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:42 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

8-6 Griffins

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 01/19/13 at 11:42 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

The LB was the only thing thing good aboot this fuching game.

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 10:38 PM ET

I can honestly say you crazy ass bitches are the only reason I even cared enough to turn this shit on tonight.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 11:42 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Can we call up the Griffins….en masse?

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 01/19/13 at 11:43 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

We should pull the G just to see if it makes a difference… At either end of the ce.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/19/13 at 11:43 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Guddammit you always find the best perspective you cynical bastard.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/19/13 at 10:41 PM ET

And think about just how well rested the Wings will be going into their next game having not skated, shot or really given a shit at all tonight.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 11:43 PM ET

tkfergy's avatar

No pride on this team.  A 6-0 rout and not even one good shift.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 10:42 PM ET

The very first one was good… ish…

Posted by tkfergy on 01/19/13 at 11:43 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Mercifully, it’s over

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/19/13 at 11:44 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Goodnight you magnificent bastards.  The only reason to stick along this far.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 11:44 PM ET

monkey's avatar

We’ve gone from suck to blow

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/19/13 at 11:44 PM ET

Avatar

YAY!!!! BLUES WIN THE CUP!!!......oh wait…..that’s not what happened.  I guess it’s the cup for them.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/19/13 at 11:44 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Well that was forgettable.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 11:44 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com